A Radical Sabbatical Idea

[Guest]

I was thinking....yes, me. Wouldn't it be fun to create a new cult compound... Litstock or some such?
I propose this:
We have 1000 acres in the middle of a vast meadow. There are water falls and hidden lakes, outcroppings and many natural vistas. You can build your own abode or have it built but only you and your close relatives who approve of Litstock can live there. This is a utopia.

The problem is that we all love to write. We would need people to do various jobs around the compound. What would you offer to do? What would you abhorr doing? Who would you nominate to do certain jobs?

 

[Evil Alpaca]

I was thinking....yes, me. Wouldn't it be fun to create a new cult compound... Litstock or some such?
I propose this:
We have 1000 acres in the middle of a vast meadow. There are water falls and hidden lakes, outcroppings and many natural vistas. You can build your own abode or have it built but only you and your close relatives who approve of Litstock can live there. This is a utopia.

The problem is that we all love to write. We would need people to do various jobs around the compound. What would you offer to do? What would you abhorr doing? Who would you nominate to do certain jobs?

Keep Ted-e-Bare away from the kitchen. He's developed a thing for cooked llama.

I'm fine with mind-numbing physical labor (we Alpaca ARE pack animals) and I could help design stuff.

I nominate Vella to be groveled to, Honey's hiney to be worshiped, SIMA, Charley and Tatelou to be leatherworkers (in one way or another).

Can we plot to take over the world?

 

[Guest]

There's going to be a lot of computers. We'll need a network and internet access. And we'll need telephones. And cable TV. And God said, "Let the good times roll." No, wait that was someting else.

But you have my cabling, electrical, computer, telephone and networking expertise at your disposal. I'm also fairly handy with the pots and pans.

 

[Couture]

Dibs on the fucking.

 

[Guest]

*rubbing hands together maniacally*
my plan is working
i so feel like dr. frankenschtein!

we have internet access and a network admin.
we have manual labor!...mmmmm the ideas!

 

[carsonshepherd]

I would love to live in a utopia, vella darling. I, of course, would be in charge of the liquor supply!

My hut would have no phone and no TV, thank you. Just me and my dog, but people could drop by as long as they emailed me first.

My expertise with pastries would be in demand on birthdays.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I'll volunteer to be Litstock's loveable lush, sitting in the shade, giving unasked for advice, pinching the butts of lovely Lit ladies who wander too close and bitchin' that nothing's been the same since Tim Leary and Jerry Garcia stepped on that great rainbow and left us for another time and dimension.

What the hell, somebody's got to handle all those jobs.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[impressive]

I was a 'puter geek in another lifetime -- so I can help Dran. I'm a decent cook with the basics, and occasionally something exotic -- so I can help Lime in the kitchen.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I've got a green thumb, so I'll muck around in the dirt with the vegetables and fruits. Maybe the Alpaca can help with the digging.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I fear we will have to allow the EXTREME people into our Utopia, or we will never be able to get anything more than fifty filthy acres of bottom land, beneath an industrial waste dump, downwind from an atomic energy plant.

Then, too, we will need them for raiding the neighborhood singles bars for involuntary initiates to do all the slave labor, like scouring out the pots and pans after Ted-E-Bare serves his famous sauteed llama on the half hoof, not to mention washing out all the wet, sticky sheets after the weekly ritualistic orgy.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Well, given my background, blood relatives, and a few connections, I could handle basic medical skills. And unlike that crazy cult guy in Canada, I would send Litzens to the closest hospital for the big stuff. I would also quickly put to work on the heavy lifting field whether I had volunteered or not so I would be doing that as well.

However, where I think I would shine the most would be in my capacity as a Deacon for the Litzen's religious needs. Cause I love the irony so.

I could also arrange for security through my mad science abominations if our uptight neighbors report to the TFA about the weird cries (of orgasm) or strange rituals (of orgy) we are conducting. They would be trained not to kill, but their psionic powers would urge the agents to either begin an orgy of their own or go home very quickly and have sex with their spouses.

Oh that and the infernal seals would have halted them anyway.

 

[Guest]

I fear we will have to allow the EXTREME people into our Utopia, or we will never be able to get anything more than fifty filthy acres of bottom land, beneath an industrial waste dump, downwind from an atomic energy plant.

Then, too, we will need them for raiding the neighborhood singles bars for involuntary initiates to do all the slave labor, like scouring out the pots and pans after Ted-E-Bare serves his famous sauteed llama on the half hoof, not to mention washing out all the wet, sticky sheets after the weekly ritualistic orgy.

what a bright and cheery outlook!
what new community has ever been built without the pain and suffering of others?
i mean really!
we need some extremists... just to keep the political/ethical/moral debates flowing.

well, the sheets might be an issue. ill do laundry. .... only if i never have to cook.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

I fear we will have to allow the EXTREME people into our Utopia, or we will never be able to get anything more than fifty filthy acres of bottom land, beneath an industrial waste dump, downwind from an atomic energy plant.

Then, too, we will need them for raiding the neighborhood singles bars for involuntary initiates to do all the slave labor, like scouring out the pots and pans after Ted-E-Bare serves his famous sauteed llama on the half hoof, not to mention washing out all the wet, sticky sheets after the weekly ritualistic orgy.

Nah, got it covered. I'll blackmail the most staunchly moralistic member of Congress and then anonymously leak the information anyway just for kicks. That'll give us the money, the land, or both as well as making Congress to scared of us to intervene directly.

The inv inis can be paid off with inclusion at the orgies.

And sheets? Like any of us actually go to sleep.

 

[rgraham666]

I'm pretty good at janitorial work. I can clean houses then.

Don't let me near a kitchen though. I'll burn the place down.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

LC,

I could help out out with some of the religious stuff, just so long as it doesn't interfer with my primary duties (see above).

My qualification is simple: I'm a Cardinal in the Universal Life Church. I may even still have my official, five-dollar mail-order certificate that came all the way from Modesto, California. It grants me all the riches, power, and pelf that goes with that title.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin .

 

[impressive]

Sheets ????

Who has sex in bed, anyway? Hell's bells, people! Do it on the grass, in the river, under the waterfall, in the shower ... anywhere BUT the bed. In the 16 stories I have on Lit, I've written only one ... no, HALF of one ... sex scene in bed.

Beds are so ... so ... conventional.

 

[china-doll]

Well, I guess somebody had to actually build all of the little dream houses in Utopia...

CD, signing up for carpentry, plumbing & electrical.

But you all are landscsping you own damn yards! I'll build the places but I aint planting your grass.

 

[minsue]

Hmmmm I'll balance the community checkbook.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Sweat it not, CD. Lady Jeanne has volunteered to assuage your horticultural needs.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin

 

[china-doll]

Hmmmm I'll balance the community checkbook.

That's assuming there is anything to balance. I haven't seen how we're gonna support Utopia yet.

Grow hemp on our 1000 acres maybe?

 

[Guest]

That's assuming there is anything to balance. I haven't seen how we're gonna support Utopia yet.

Grow hemp on our 1000 acres maybe?

we shall be self supportive through smut. we are the brilliant sicko minds of literotica, are we not? we shall become rich as we topple the world of porn as it is known now...we will redefine it.
poor mindy will have her hands full with all those checks and balances.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

That's assuming there is anything to balance. I haven't seen how we're gonna support Utopia yet.

Grow hemp on our 1000 acres maybe?

Running a pay porn website. We just slap the video cameras on the orgy room, take a request every week and slap everyone's porn archive on some hard drives and we're financially set. Though the hemp sales could help pay for the vibes, lube, specially ordered fetish gear, and high speed internet connections.

 

[carsonshepherd]

My qualification is simple: I'm a Cardinal in the Universal Life Church. I may even still have my official, five-dollar mail-order certificate that came all the way from Modesto, California. It grants me all the riches, power, and pelf that goes with that title.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin .

And you can MARRY people too! You can marry whomever you want! Girls and girls... boys and boys and girls... horses and alpacas... Oh shit, the mind boggles.

 

[minsue]

And you can MARRY people too! You can marry whomever you want! Girls and girls... boys and boys and girls... horses and alpacas... Oh shit, the mind boggles.

Breathe, Carson! Breathe!

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Breathe, Carson! Breathe!

Damn medical services required already. Get me two live wires and stand back. Oh, you're up. Never mind.