A Quetion For All Bottoms

[Giftboy]

When do you know you are about to serve a wannabe?

 

[kinky_older_guy]

simple, too much act, too much pretending, trying to do everything too much ... also, using toys without proper skill - for instance, beginning with sharp smacks of the riding crop. A real, sensual domme would always build the excitement by teasing, some mild mindfuck, tickling ... then applying slight hits with the crop. And when the hits become harder, she changes it for a bullwhip ... just an example.

Also, if I noticed a wannabe taking a single-tail or a bullwhip I would immediately speak my safeword out very loudly and clear. Those toys are for experts.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

I’d suggest going to a munch. Contact the person running the munch. Let them know you are new and want to attend the munch. They may offer to introduce you around. Ask them discreetly if there’s anyone they suggest talking with or not talking with.

 

[Giftboy]

simple, too much act, too much pretending, trying to do everything too much ... also, using toys without proper skill - for instance, beginning with sharp smacks of the riding crop. A real, sensual domme would always build the excitement by teasing, some mild mindfuck, tickling ... then applying slight hits with the crop. And when the hits become harder, she changes it for a bullwhip ... just an example.

Also, if I noticed a wannabe taking a single-tail or a bullwhip I would immediately speak my safeword out very loudly and clear. Those toys are for experts.

Absulotely concur with your views.

 

[PaxNurgle]

There is a website. I'm probably not allowed to mention the name of it. But, anyway... the website has a personals section called "Dom and Fetish."

Anyway, if you browse the "Domme" profiles carefully- which I'm almost ashamed to admit I have done- you will start to see some patterns:

-The same model's profile pictures being used by multiple "Women's" ads, with different ages, names, contact info, and so on, for each.
-The exact same text in the ads being used, verbatim, by multiple different "Women" or at least, with a different set of profile pics and contact info.
-The exact same ads being placed in each and every city across the U.S., and possibly in every international city as well.

Once you discover that, you realize it's not even worth wasting your time contacting any of them.
And this is partly why I'm really reluctant to engage in any kind of online domination situation.

Other signs of "Wannabes...?" When "financial domination" is their one and only interest, or at least, is their first and foremost interest. Big red flag right there...

 

[Giftboy]

There is a website. I'm probably not allowed to mention the name of it. But, anyway... the website has a personals section called "Dom and Fetish."

Anyway, if you browse the "Domme" profiles carefully- which I'm almost ashamed to admit I have done- you will start to see some patterns:

-The same model's profile pictures being used by multiple "Women's" ads, with different ages, names, contact info, and so on, for each.
-The exact same text in the ads being used, verbatim, by multiple different "Women" or at least, with a different set of profile pics and contact info.
-The exact same ads being placed in each and every city across the U.S., and possibly in every international city as well.

Once you discover that, you realize it's not even worth wasting your time contacting any of them.
And this is partly why I'm really reluctant to engage in any kind of online domination situation.

Other signs of "Wannabes...?" When "financial domination" is their one and only interest, or at least, is their first and foremost interest. Big red flag right there...

Thanks for that.

 

[lisaharlot]

When do you know you are about to serve a wannabe?

When it doesn’t hurt enough.

 

[kinky_older_guy]

When it doesn’t hurt enough.

Well, not quite true. BDSM is not about giving or receiving pain as such, but rather about trust and control. An experienced domme doesn't need toys, she can put you in place with her mind only.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Well, not quite true. BDSM is not about giving or receiving pain as such, but rather about trust and control. An experienced domme doesn't need toys, she can put you in place with her mind only.

Actually, what you are talking about is D/s.
BDSM can be either SM or D/s or both.

 

[lisaharlot]

Well, not quite true. BDSM is not about giving or receiving pain as such, but rather about trust and control. An experienced domme doesn't need toys, she can put you in place with her mind only.

Wonderful, I got mansplained what I like

 

[PaxNurgle]

Actually, what you are talking about is D/s.
BDSM can be either SM or D/s or both.

This is true; some D/S relationships are more kink, S&M, and fetish-based than others. Some have no kink or S&M involved at all, and are exactly like the Kinky_older_guy described, and nothing more. It depends on the relationship, and what the couple mutually decides it will be. (Though as an aside; I would prefer at least SOME kink, fetish, and S&M play in my relationship; much more fun that way!)

 

[Will_iaM]

Overly aggressive and /or/ but asking questions.

 

[cocktaildress21]

It's almost instantly obvious who has experience - and who has simply watched too much porn. 99% of every online-only dom will launch straight into an endless tirade about hard, merciless throat fucking. Or something else that's quite literally too unpleasant for most sane people to want done to them. They'll want to spank me until I bleed. Yes, there are a rare few who actually enjoy that - but those people aren't idiots, and they'll do that only in controlled situations, and by experienced and cautious doms, that they know. Anyone who claims different is straight up a shamefaced liar. In my experience.

 

[Giftboy]

It's almost instantly obvious who has experience - and who has simply watched too much porn. 99% of every online-only dom will launch straight into an endless tirade about hard, merciless throat fucking. Or something else that's quite literally too unpleasant for most sane people to want done to them. They'll want to spank me until I bleed. Yes, there are a rare few who actually enjoy that - but those people aren't idiots, and they'll do that only in controlled situations, and by experienced and cautious doms, that they know. Anyone who claims different is straight up a shamefaced liar. In my experience.

Thanks for your experience.

 

[SPARTAN047]

There is a website. I'm probably not allowed to mention the name of it. But, anyway... the website has a personals section called "Dom and Fetish."

Anyway, if you browse the "Domme" profiles carefully- which I'm almost ashamed to admit I have done- you will start to see some patterns:

-The same model's profile pictures being used by multiple "Women's" ads, with different ages, names, contact info, and so on, for each.
-The exact same text in the ads being used, verbatim, by multiple different "Women" or at least, with a different set of profile pics and contact info.
-The exact same ads being placed in each and every city across the U.S., and possibly in every international city as well.

Once you discover that, you realize it's not even worth wasting your time contacting any of them.
And this is partly why I'm really reluctant to engage in any kind of online domination situation.

Other signs of "Wannabes...?" When "financial domination" is their one and only interest, or at least, is their first and foremost interest. Big red flag right there...

Any place I joined for femdom is exactly like that. It's very easy to see the copied and pasted texts.