A Question for writers of BDSM

[BardsLady]

When starting out with a straight man who doesn't know he's submissive..

How much of the book should be devoted to training him to be a submissive gay man when you've got an entire storyline to go... the training is just an under current of the whole book. I just have to get him at least subbed enough to get into a really infamous bondage club *he already has a Domme offering to help*... then I have to get him from this place in Seattle to the one in Hawaii.

Thing is, he's an undercover cop trying to find out where and who is running this new type of drug out of asia... one that mixes a cross breed of catmint and some other herb and a chemical... still working on that.

Can anyone help this poor little Paranormal Author with her work?

Thanks for any suggestions.

 

[sr71plt]

If the training isn't the focus of the story, I wouldn't spend too much time on that before getting to the storyline. Still, I would assume the training is part of the arousal part, so I wouldn't have it all happen off in the wings either.

 

[TE999]

You may want to consider a plot line that the cop's acting like a subbie in order to infiltrate the gang of drug runners that are using the 'infamous bondage club' as a cover...then he discovers he likes it.

 

[BardsLady]

That's what he's doing.. he's part of the Vice squad who.. as the newbie on the block, gets the job of getting into the BDSM club. I chose the leading man to be a sub because his Dom, eventually, is going be a Shapeshifting Tiger in Hawaii.
What the club owners.. both in Seattle and Hawaii don't know is that the drugs are being run THROUGH their clubs and into the streets.

Give me a little time and I'll be working that part out. My muse doesn't let me sit still on a plot line long enough to write it down.. it has to be put into the manuscript NOW... or else... it keeps hounding me with more stuff to put in.
Hehehehe.

 

[TxRad]

This is a tricky part for the lifestyle BDSM crowd around Lit. From straight to submissive too quick and you get bombed for unrealistic. You do detail and the non BDSM lifestyle crowd gets bored. You might have to string out the story a bit by sending him to Hawaii by boat. Gives you working time with the Domme and gives him time to get to know some of the "in" crowd of the drug cartel.

Just some ideas for what they are worth.

 

[JamesSD]

For a straight man, the big part of the training that would be a challenge would be the gay activity. That's a huge line to cross for a lot of men, even one who will admit to having some curiosity.

I do suggest stressing that inner conflict as it occurs in your story, perhaps as a sign in how far your character has come in his submission.

 

[BardsLady]

This is a tricky part for the lifestyle BDSM crowd around Lit. From straight to submissive too quick and you get bombed for unrealistic. You do detail and the non BDSM lifestyle crowd gets bored. You might have to string out the story a bit by sending him to Hawaii by boat. Gives you working time with the Domme and gives him time to get to know some of the "in" crowd of the drug cartel.

Just some ideas for what they are worth.

You're right. The true test is trying to find the happy medium. I've already introduced a female Domme into the mix. Someone he trusts, a friend who is in the lifestyle... and also works at the cop shop.

I had planned on getting him to Hawaii by sailboat via special invitation to a party at the club there. At which time he'll change owners. *thank the gods I have an ex who loved sailing*

Thanks Txrad, for the advice.

 

[BardsLady]

For a straight man, the big part of the training that would be a challenge would be the gay activity. That's a huge line to cross for a lot of men, even one who will admit to having some curiosity.

I do suggest stressing that inner conflict as it occurs in your story, perhaps as a sign in how far your character has come in his submission.

Mmm... Good advice James. I think that's one of the reasons I gave him to a woman Domme first.. maybe ease him into it while getting integrated into the lifestyle.

Sometimes things pop into my story for no odd reason.. This is probably one of the times my Muse has better sense than I do about some things. eh?

I'm glad I've got a place like this I can ask these types of questions without having someone freak out on me. Any place else and they'd probably kick me out of the forums.

Okay, here's a thought. While I'm going to start him out in leather bondage, my idea is to make the transition to Kinbaku/Shibari bondage when he gets to Hawaii. Hmm, what would you guys think if a character began being introduced to Japanese rope bondage on the sailboat... does that make sense?

 

[sr71plt]

This is a tricky part for the lifestyle BDSM crowd around Lit. From straight to submissive too quick and you get bombed for unrealistic. You do detail and the non BDSM lifestyle crowd gets bored. You might have to string out the story a bit by sending him to Hawaii by boat. Gives you working time with the Domme and gives him time to get to know some of the "in" crowd of the drug cartel.

Just some ideas for what they are worth.

You can take care of large chunks of time and experience passage in a single sentence. You don't have to show every step of the way in detail.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Getting him from straight to gay will be a lot harder than from vanilla to sub. You'd better make sure that there at least some hints of bi-curious from the get-go or the wash of "Oh, Get Real!" will overwhelm the inherent value of the story. Check out the Kinsey scale and put him well away from the Straight Straight and you might make it work.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Mmm... Good advice James. I think that's one of the reasons I gave him to a woman Domme first.. maybe ease him into it while getting integrated into the lifestyle.

Sometimes things pop into my story for no odd reason.. This is probably one of the times my Muse has better sense than I do about some things. eh?

I'm glad I've got a place like this I can ask these types of questions without having someone freak out on me. Any place else and they'd probably kick me out of the forums.

Okay, here's a thought. While I'm going to start him out in leather bondage, my idea is to make the transition to Kinbaku/Shibari bondage when he gets to Hawaii. Hmm, what would you guys think if a character began being introduced to Japanese rope bondage on the sailboat... does that make sense?

Not if he's crew it doesn't!
Sailboats are limited in the number of people they can carry, and it's very rare that somenoe be merely a passenger. The conditions out at sea-- especially in the Pacific-- are pretty unstable, and the crew must be ready to leap to work at any time.

Japanese bondage can take a very long time to set up. With one person wrapping and another person being wrapped, you've got two of your crew out of commission...

Me, I'd be just waiting for a sudden squall to come up and swamp the boat. I'm evil that way.

 

[jm_kaye]

I don't have any suggestions, but I'd really like to read this book when you finish it.

 

[sadangel]

*writing thread bump*

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Subs really aren't "trained" to be submissive. They're submissive when they start. "Training" is just a BDSM term for the games they play during D/s sessions. Oh, the sub might be taught to kneel a certain way, or address the dom in a certain way, but for the most part the training is merely an excuse for the dom to give orders and the sub to obey--and be punished. The sexual orientation of dom and sub exist well before the training begins.

You're not trained to be sub anymore than you're trained to be gay. If you're not already gay (or latently so), no amount of training is going to make you turn that corner. And if you're not already a sub, no amount of training is going to make you a submissive either.

Being gay isn't just a matter of having sex with the same gender. It's more a matter of wanting to do so. Similarly, being sub isn't just a matter of being sexually passive. It's enjoying being sexually passive, and you can't very well train people to enjoy certain things if they're not already predisposed.

 

[sadangel]

Subs really aren't "trained" to be submissive. They're submissive when they start. "Training" is just a BDSM term for the games they play during D/s sessions. Oh, the sub might be taught to kneel a certain way, or address the dom in a certain way, but for the most part the training is merely an excuse for the dom to give orders and the sub to obey--and be punished. The sexual orientation of dom and sub exist well before the training begins.

You're not trained to be sub anymore than you're trained to be gay. If you're not already gay (or latently so), no amount of training is going to make you turn that corner. And if you're not already a sub, no amount of training is going to make you a submissive either.

Being gay isn't just a matter of having sex with the same gender. It's more a matter of wanting to do so. Similarly, being sub isn't just a matter of being sexually passive. It's enjoying being sexually passive, and you can't very well train people to enjoy certain things if they're not already predisposed.

Very good post. Thank you Dr. M.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Really good post Zoot!

 

[JamesSD]

You're not trained to be sub anymore than you're trained to be gay. If you're not already gay (or latently so), no amount of training is going to make you turn that corner. And if you're not already a sub, no amount of training is going to make you a submissive either.

Being gay isn't just a matter of having sex with the same gender. It's more a matter of wanting to do so. Similarly, being sub isn't just a matter of being sexually passive. It's enjoying being sexually passive, and you can't very well train people to enjoy certain things if they're not already predisposed.

You're correct... but...

"Training" often refers to knowing how to behave in a certain situation. Submissives may have an innate desire to serve, but that doesn't mean they know all the jargon, one word commands for positions to assume, etc. Knowing what types of behaviors are expected within the "sub" role. And also what a particular Dom desires from their sub.

There also are definitely people who don't know they're into something sexually until they try it. There certainly are sheltered people whose eyes are opened wide when they discover something that appeals to them exists. While desire is often innate and not fully understood, I think a lot of people have kinks lurking beneath the surface they may not yet have discovered.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That's what "Latent" means.