A question for the ladies...

[finaljustice_20]

I have a little question for the ladies here (although men are welcome to chime in as well). Something I am very interested in is human interactions, the dynamics of men and women. I often think about why exactly men and women have such a hard time connecting in this day and age, and I have my own theories, but that's for another thread.

Often I have heard how rare it is for a woman to get (genuinely) asked out. And if she does get "asked how" or hit on, it usually involves a drunk guy spilling his beer on her at some bar. I've often heard that some of the prettiest girls actually *never* get asked how because too many guys are intimidated by them. If this is the case, I think it's quite sad knowing that the world lacks true masculine men.

So, as you might imagine, I'm curious to know: how often do you get asked out?

Feel free to be detailed if you wish, but I'm very curious to hear what some of the answers here will be...

 

[Reba67]

At a bar? I've been hit on, but never actually "asked out".

Have I had a guy ask me to go out with him? Sure, but it's not like they've just asked "hey, do you want to go on a date?".....it always starts slower for me and starts with a friend asking me to join him for something....dinner, movie, whatever and it develops from there.

 

[LaRocha]

If it's a girl you're already acquainted with you don't have to be formal about it and say "this is a date". No one wants the pressure and formality, even though they both know they're likely on a date. It's pretty much just hanging out and fucking until someone broaches "you're my girlfriend/boyfriend?" the other person says "yes". then you can go out on dates and call them that. since the male has to do the asking either way, it's really up to the female to make the category of the time spent clear, 'this is a date' or 'it's not a date'. There's nothing less masculine about going out with a girl and fucking her every night for a week without saying "let's go out on a date".

 

[cryforme1v]

lol my boyfriend asked me to go on a date with him every day for a month till i finally did.
I didnt want to ruin the friendship we had, i considered him my best friend. We finally went out on an actual date, we both had so much fun just talking. When he kissed me good night i knew i should have said yes a long time ago lol
Literally every day when i seen him, he would give me a hug and say hellos. After a few minutes of random conversation he would pop up with "so you want to go out with me". It was kind of annoying at times, but for the most part really cute. lol he was so persistant.

 

[mercuryfrost]

From a Guy's perspective. I have asked a couple of girls on a date when I was much younger. I never really had much success. But the two successful relationships I did have both came about when I offered to Cook them Dinner. Perhaps thats the secret!

 

[finesse910]

I've been asked out... a couple times. Some more random than others

1) A random male at Dorney Park just came up to me, started talking and eventually asked me out. It didn't work out because he lived too far away from me, but it might have had we been closer.

2) I actually sort of asked out my current boyfriend. I wanted to see him again so I asked if he wanted to hang out in a couple days; however, he really initiated any interaction, he was extremely persistent and from that point on, he made the dates.

3) I was asked out by a guy I was just talking to a lot- went on a date and didn't really hear from him again (which was a little odd because it genuinely wasn't that bad of a date.

4) A mutual friend asked me out a bunch of times- I just never realized it because he would always say it jokingly! I never knew he was serious. It wasn't until he sent me a message saying, "It's not up to me anymore if you want me in your life you'll find a way to put me there" and we had a very long conversation that I realized he had been serious all those times (I felt really bad).

5) I did have a drunk asking-out experience- I was in Monticello, VA standing outside an icecream parlor and... a drunk guy came up to me and was basically begging me to go to the bar next door with him to hang out and "get to know each other" - the outfit I wore that day is still referred to by my friends as, "Drunk Boy Chic"

6) The guy at the restaurant I go to sometimes always flirts with me (and it's not a "tipping" establishment so it's not that either)- he hasn't asked me out- but I have a boyfriend anyway so I would again feel really bad if he did.


I'm pretty sure that's the extent of any... "asking out." All of these happened in the past two years- I never got anything before that.

 

[infinity706]

From a Guy's perspective. I have asked a couple of girls on a date when I was much younger. I never really had much success. But the two successful relationships I did have both came about when I offered to Cook them Dinner. Perhaps thats the secret!

I'd say that probably works more than any other technique. I have a feeling, quite a few women would even be tempted to say yes even if they were only slightly interested in you. I think it's pretty obvious that women appreciate home cooked meals just as much as guys even though many don't want to deal with the cooking/cleaning involved. Unless she has some reason to believe you'd drug her, you probably have a good chance of getting a date that way. It requires much more of a time commitment than a date at a resturaunt or something and a knowledge of how to cook, though. It may not get you fucked, but I can pretty much promise you that you'll win some brownie points for such an offer.

Now, as for guys having to do the asking, I've been asked out by multiple women. None of them officially asked me out on a date, but they invited me somewhere and were more than friendly. Of course, something that needs to be remembered is that some women will get mad if they don't get to spend some money on you. I actually got dumped one time over that.

 

[Emma88_]

Hmm... Only in clubs and 90% of these are awful drunken leary men looking for a fumble id say! Actually I did get asked out (rather nicely) a couple of weeks ago and Oh my.. how nice? Haha he was the very definition of masculinity. Unfortunately I coud not accept as im spoken for ouch!

 

[finaljustice_20]

Interesting replies. One of the reasons I asked was because this is something I have always heard about, and the other day I read some quote from an actress saying she had only truly been asked out a few times in her life. All the other times she had to do it it or let all the signals be clear as day to the guy.

To clarify, when I ask out a girl I don't do the whole "would you like to go out with me??"... lol. I did that in my teen years and looking back I don't find that to be a very masculine way of asking a woman out. These days I simply tell her that we should totally get together, and they usually know what's going on when I say that.

I do think it's sad a fair amount of women seem to never get asked out but by drunk guys, or if they even have to do the asking themselves. I have noticed there seems to be a lack of true masculine men, as I've heard countless stories of how needy men can be in this day and age. It's unfortunate, as I love teasing women and then saying that we should totally get together

 

[Firebrain]

When I was "on the market," so to speak - reasonably often. But then I often asked a bloke before he got chance, too

Drunk men in bars...er, they don't really count though, do they? They're mostly not asking "you" out, they're just desperate for skirt.

Anyone look back with the wisdom of years and realise they'd been hit on numerous times and never even noticed it in their youthful ignorance? Horrible, sleazy TV producer [shudder]

 

[infinity706]

Interesting replies. One of the reasons I asked was because this is something I have always heard about, and the other day I read some quote from an actress saying she had only truly been asked out a few times in her life. All the other times she had to do it it or let all the signals be clear as day to the guy.

To clarify, when I ask out a girl I don't do the whole "would you like to go out with me??"... lol. I did that in my teen years and looking back I don't find that to be a very masculine way of asking a woman out. These days I simply tell her that we should totally get together, and they usually know what's going on when I say that.

I do think it's sad a fair amount of women seem to never get asked out but by drunk guys, or if they even have to do the asking themselves. I have noticed there seems to be a lack of true masculine men, as I've heard countless stories of how needy men can be in this day and age. It's unfortunate, as I love teasing women and then saying that we should totally get together

I'd be careful saying anything about women having to ask guys out. I know a few women that just might slap you for that. They'd tell you they have just as much right as a guy to ask someone out.

 

[finaljustice_20]

I'd be careful saying anything about women having to ask guys out. I know a few women that just might slap you for that. They'd tell you they have just as much right as a guy to ask someone out.

lol, I'm sure. I'm all for equality, but I think deep down most women would rather have a guy ask them out then them be the ones to ask a guy out. I could be wrong as I certainly have been before, but just something I have noticed from my own experience and due to asking women tons of questions

 

[infinity706]

I think most people would prefer if someone else would ask them out. Even as many people as I've asked, I still prefer it. I'm sure most women would prefer to come with an on/off switch for getting pregnant, too.

 

[ayrton]

On a related note, have any of you ladies ever gone out to "get laid". I know as a guy I did it all the time...not very successfully, but it was my premeditated intention.

 

[finesse910]

On a related note, have any of you ladies ever gone out to "get laid". I know as a guy I did it all the time...not very successfully, but it was my premeditated intention.

Oh it's definitely happened- my friend and I spent a vacation in North Carolina, horny as all hell- just looking for any guy to come up and talk to us- and eventually make something of it. Only one night could something have happened- but it ended up not working out unfortunately.

Girls definitely do this a lot... At least in college.

 

[Kaminatosai]

You have no idea how many times I go out to places with my girlfriends looking for a guy to take home with me.
And it NEVER happens.
And I know I'm not unattractive. By any standards no one is unattractive technically. Its all about different tastes.
But I rarely get asked out by a guy. At least not in three years.

 

[infinity706]

You have no idea how many times I go out to places with my girlfriends looking for a guy to take home with me.
And it NEVER happens.
And I know I'm not unattractive. By any standards no one is unattractive technically. Its all about different tastes.
But I rarely get asked out by a guy. At least not in three years.

I certainly don't see any problem with you. Maybe you just need to be a bit more aggressive and make it clear to guys that you're available. Of course, you could always ask them out yourself. A lot of guys would be intimidated by a group of women and besides that, judging by your pictures, a lot of guys might consider you out of their league. Pick your target, though. Sit near him and try and start a conversation. You possibly might even want to buy him a drink. Now, if you're going after a much older guy, you might want to ask if he'd like to buy you a drink. After that, just have fun and flirt with him. If there's dancing going on, don't be afraid to get a little dirty with him. Of course, you should start slow and maybe just brush against him or something. If he reacts favorably, feel free to go a little further. You don't have to get too obscene, but feeling him up a bit should put the idea into his head that you want to take him home.

Honestly, the worst thing you can probably do is stand around with your group of friends, though. You don't want to scare the poor guys off.

 

[Noira]

I have never been asked out to my face. T_T I got my boyfriend over the internet. If I lose him I'll end up being an old maid. D:

(Of couuuurse, I never go outside, that might have something to do with it. And I won't pretend I'm good looking.)

 

[fire_breeze]

<snip>

Anyone look back with the wisdom of years and realise they'd been hit on numerous times and never even noticed it in their youthful ignorance? Horrible, sleazy TV producer [shudder]

*raises hand* Guilty. And how. I still rarely notice (unless it's blatantly obvious or I'm told outright.)

But I digress.

 

[Mac98]

I can say the reason I never approach women is mostly because A) When they're told something flattering, most women will blow you off and look at you as if you're a fucken space alien. B) Most women are incapable of telling a man that they're just not interested and will usually stutter, look for excuses instead of just saying "Sorry, I'm not interested, but thanks."

It's hard approaching someone who can't be approached. Although I'm not saying ALL women are like this, a lot of them are.

 

[finaljustice_20]

I certainly don't see any problem with you. Maybe you just need to be a bit more aggressive and make it clear to guys that you're available. Of course, you could always ask them out yourself. A lot of guys would be intimidated by a group of women and besides that, judging by your pictures, a lot of guys might consider you out of their league. Pick your target, though. Sit near him and try and start a conversation. You possibly might even want to buy him a drink. Now, if you're going after a much older guy, you might want to ask if he'd like to buy you a drink. After that, just have fun and flirt with him. If there's dancing going on, don't be afraid to get a little dirty with him. Of course, you should start slow and maybe just brush against him or something. If he reacts favorably, feel free to go a little further. You don't have to get too obscene, but feeling him up a bit should put the idea into his head that you want to take him home.

Honestly, the worst thing you can probably do is stand around with your group of friends, though. You don't want to scare the poor guys off.

It's funny you mention this. I don't think many guys can read women's signals, and I think it's funny how often a guy thinks "I can't talk to her, she's probably got a boyfriend/out of my league". I've said that in the past but eventually I realized you'll never know if you don't ask. I actually learned that from a woman I asked out once

Regarding women's signals, I wouldn't say I'm a master at reading them but I have been in bars/clubs a few times and felt something towards a certain girl that drew me towards her. It might be a look from her or how we locked eyes, from then on I knew it was ON!

I've approached a group of girls a few times. Not the easiest thing in the world as a couple times they all just stood there not really saying much. I've noticed it can definitely be easier approaching a group of girls with a friend. A couple months ago me and my roomate approached a table of 3 girls and one of them talked to us for a bit. She was married but joked how she could be my wingman. Fun stuff

 

[Labe_Lover]

You have no idea how many times I go out to places with my girlfriends looking for a guy to take home with me.
And it NEVER happens.
And I know I'm not unattractive. By any standards no one is unattractive technically. Its all about different tastes.
But I rarely get asked out by a guy. At least not in three years.

Sure wish I lived closer to you!

 

[miaction69]

i get asked out by guys that don't do it for me all the time
and I'm stupid because I think ahh they'd be a nice friend - but really
they are just wasting my time coz they want to fuck me and thats def
NOT what I want them to do to me so now i mostly decline
i only go out with men that i have known for years - who have tried to fuck me
and when they haven't suceeded have still remained friends.
it's a no pressure situation and we all know where we stand - i like
that they want me to come out coz they enjoy me - and not coz they hope to
get a fuck or suck job.

mostly guys just say shit like - ur easy on the eye, i'd like to fuck u, i'd like to feel those
lips around my cock, i can go for hours (like they think that impresses me), you've got great
tits i'd like to fuck them, pls pls just let me fuck you (pathetic) blah blah blah blah i actually had a guy say to me today...crazy as it seems your real hot for an old chick!!! go figure - well he was fucking thrown out of my maybe's immediately....ehh old
some of these guys are doable but they put me off when they say shit like that - there's no mystery
about them at all - why do I want a fuck buddy that's stock standard from the start - the ones that say this expected stuff just says to me -BORING basic fuck and suck and no potential interesting play...
i cant be bothered with one night stands, i'm better off with my vibrator without any hassle - and i'm guaranteed to cum....so I don't do the 'going out thing' with new men.

all the men i've had sex with (just about) i've gotten to know (not by going on dates or any of that crap) then the more i'm with them the desire deepens and when being with them gets me juiced, then i've sexed them ova for medium to long term.
the 'going out' with happens as per normal in this scene (well it's not standard normal.... I like to be risky and turn my men on in different play ways when we're out together)

 

[TomboyWitch]

I don't get asked out, even when I think I'm fairly good-looking. And I'm in the tech industry. If you think female geeks get asked out all the time, it's not true, at least not here. ^_^ I usually only have sex with people I've come to trust as friends for a while.