A question for the guys (ladies too if you have insight)

[catchastar11]

I'm facing a bit of a problem in my marriage and was hoping someone could provide some insight into what I can do or anything along those lines...

The past three times my husband and I have went to make love he hasn't been able to keep his erection. Now he'll be hard as a rock during foreplay, but as soon as things start to go further he goes soft.

Now I know its silly, but I feel like it's me thats causing this problem, even though he insists its not and he's attracted to me...I just don't know...I'm really upset and confused. I've been playing it off that it doesn't bother me, so he doesn't get upset, but truth be told, it really is bothering me....

We've been together for 5 1/2 years and married for almost 5 months...And nothing like this has ever happened.

Please provide me with any advice or personal experience into this matter...I just don't know what to do...

 

[DaddysAngel23]

Ugh, I hate this problem. Trust me we always feel like it must be us that is causing it but, fortunaltely it is not. Depending on your hubby's age, stress, how long you spend with foreplay, and any other possible factors there can be many reasons that he loses his erection. I have only two solutions for you.

1) he can go to the doctor, if you think it is actually a medical problem (which can hit men out of nowhere and at younger ages than you might think)

2) This has actually worked for me, but takes a bit of patience on both parts. Keep up the foreplay until he goes soft, before the sex actually starts.Don't freak out, and don't let him get angry with himself (which they always do). Take a brief break from stimulating him, now it's your turn. I don't think I need to elaborate, all women know how to cause an erection. Once you get it back, use it dammit!!!

Hope it help Honey, if nothing else know that you aren't alone. And neither is he.

 

[RawHumor]

It's probably not you, but DA is right.

The worst thing you can do is show frustration with him, because believe me, he's infinitely more frustrated than you are.

The worst thing is, if you both wind up frustrated and agitated about it, that next time, it's all he'll be thinking about. Just try to be patient... maybe even just try snuggling while lightly stroking him... so that the cock play is more of an affectionate gesture than an overtly sexual one.

 

[Galene]

I think both posters above covered the subject pretty thoroughly.

Another idea that just came to me... it is a delicate matter and talking about it might go either way.... might solve the problem or make it worse, you can never be sure.
So, I suggest that you try and show him your pleasure and delight in his presence and contact, without showing any sexual expectations. Hug him any chance you get, kiss him, hold hands, curl up against him at night.... give him to understand that simple body contact means the world to you... but don't make the first move towards sex.
Just show him your love and your pleasure of being together, there's all the time in the world for having sex. There's a good chance that it will help him relax and function again as he used to.



.

 

[pookies]

 

[Sassyfrass]

How old is he ?
#1 I agree with Daddy'sAngel....he needs to go to the Dr., depending on his age it could be E.D

 

[RawHumor]

How old is he ?
#1 I agree with Daddy'sAngel....he needs to go to the Dr., depending on his age it could be E.D

It would depend on the definition of ED. He can get erections, but due to self-imposed anxiety, he tends to lose them at the crucial moment.

Pills might help, though, to help his confidence if nothing else.

 

[Baucis]

ED is erectile dysfunction, and not limited to simply an inability to achieve erection; ED also encompasses the inability to maintain an erection. Some physical causes of ED are medications (anti-depressants and anti-anxiolytics are both culprits, amongst many others), and poor circulation. You may think poor circulation would be noticeable in some neon-lit way- purple feet or something- but ED is one of the first symptoms of circulatory problems in males, and often prevalent in males who carry adipose tissue on the abdomen (think about it: If hubby has a spare tire of fat all around his genitals, that fat is coating everything inside and out- the blood vessels AND organ structures- leading to reduced room for blood flow). This is one reason age is considered a factor in ED: As the body ages, plaque (which is a form of fat) is deposited inside the blood vessels, narrowing the vessel and impinging upon blood flow. Smoking is a huge factor in circulatory problems, too.

If the problem isn't emotional, it must be physical. If it is physical, a doctor can certainly help. Changes in diet and exercise and/or medications may be necessary, and, while no one wants to hear that, if these changes help his ability to maintain an erection, they most certainly are also helping him live a longer life.

 

[bob69carter]

I had this problem a year ago. Wanted sex a lot, easy to get an erection but as soon as its inside a mouth or pussy it goes soft. i could still get off but it was no fun for my partner.
I visited the doctor and she prescribed viagra.
I have never looked back. Take it half an hour before sex and you still need to get aroused but once you do you stay hard. It's also easier to have a second session because it stays harder longer.
There is no embarrassment in this, it is quite common, but i can recommend it for improving sex life.

 

[Sassyfrass]

My s.o takes LeVitra

 

[Fantazmaster]

My s.o takes LeVitra

My doc gave me a prescription for Levitra and he told me I had to take an iron supplement with it.Only side effect so far is ,I keep pointing North!

 

[Sterling]

It's most likely stress. Don't worry about it...