A question for switches

[NRGIZD]

Something has been tugging at the back of my mind for the past few days now, and was wondering if the switches out there would be able to help me out!!

I understand that switching means that you are switching your role with your partner, but what i dont understand is how one can do this? If you are a naturally dominant person and personality and your partner is naturally submissive, then how can you turn that off to switch roles?

Ive talked to some people about this, and have basically been told that THEY could or would ever be able to switch, as it just isnt in them, but then on threads here there are obviously people that can.

so ... if anyone could share their thoughts and reasonings on this for me it would be greatly appreciated!!
Thanks to all that reply and add your insight

 

[Kaldaka]

I can't speak for others, but for me it's a natural reaction. It's not a concious choice, so much as if the woman I'm with is Dominant, then when she takes charge I naturally submit. If the woman I'm with is submissive, then I respond to that and become more aggressive and take control for myself.

 

[MissTaken]

There is a train of thought that suggests that switches may come in all shapes and sizes!

More to the point, a switch may identify him/herself is a dominant switch, which indicates there persona lends itself to Dominance, but that they find other needs being met by subbing.

Hence, submissive switches....

From Steele_Door.com

http://www.steel-door.com/switches.htm

Article linked with the authorization of Mistress Steele
Copyright 1995-2001 F.R.R. Mallory All rights reserved

 

[NRGIZD]

thanks for the link MissTaken, it was very imformative and has given me quite a lot on information to absorb. I appreciate you finding it for me and posting it

 

[MissTaken]

thanks for the link MissTaken, it was very imformative and has given me quite a lot on information to absorb. I appreciate you finding it for me and posting it

It is a wonderful site, one of the few I can actually recall articles from and get my hands on them quickly.

I identified as a switch for about a year. For me, it was actually a transition period, an evolution, if you will into my Dominant self.

Enjoying some maso activities doesn't make me a switch, as I no longer can see myself subbing for anyone.

But then, there are posts of old in which I said I could never see myself topping anyone.

Life is a rollercoaster. I love rollercoasters!

 

[SweetDommes]

Holly and I switch with each other, and no one else. It feels natural and right to do so, but it wouldn't feel right with anyone else - at least, neither of us can foresee it feeling right with anyone that we currently know.

Some people are not "naturally Dominant" or "naturally submissive" they are just "naturally kinky" and enjoy both sides of the fence, so to speak.

 

[pandoravampire]

How do i turn off my alpha/dominant side to my personality to be submissive - personally i cant. My inner submissive is locked down tight. But there are people who can turn my alpha/dominant side off, these are people whom ive known for a very long time, who know me very very well, but mainly who i have a lot of respect for.
Its not a conscious thing on my part, it may well be on theirs though. For instance, using pain/role play to facilitate my submission helps a lot for me.
But being submissive is soley during sexual play and afterglow. It has not extended outside of this so far. But perhaps if i met the right person, then i would be able to.

 

[Netzach]

I like to get stuck with sharp things sometimes, and once in a while get into a lazy mode where I need someone to tell me what to do, usually I call it "burnout" but it has some very recalcitrant bad submissive characteristics.

 

[Elizabeth]

We flip for it.


I'm kidding. It depends on our moods at the time. Lately it's been about 75% me domming and 25% him domming. It's all good.

 

[Birch Twig]

Some people are not "naturally Dominant" or "naturally submissive" they are just "naturally kinky" and enjoy both sides of the fence, so to speak.

I am naturally kinky I suppose. My partner is more of a sub, but she could quite often enjoy being on top too. It depend on her mood very much. The greatest game is when I start as slave, and Madam ties me up and gives me a long and hard whipping. Then when I do sex slave labour for her ( kissing and licking), she becomes sloppy and forget to tie me as much as would be needed, so I escape and gets on top of her. Then I tie HER up, whip her hard and make her lick me all over and rub her tits on my body for an hour or two. She hates to work hard when all she wants is to get my cock inside her, but what's she gonna do about it with her hands are tied behind her back? And if she dares to complain, I'll whip her ass off. Then after a while, when she's so desperate that she is willing to accept almost anything if I only fuck her, I tell her it will cost like 50 hard lashes to get my cock. She normally accepts it, and I give it to her.

 

[guinivere]

I am a switch. I guess you could say I am a sub-switch because my main enjoyment is from being sub to my partner.

However occasionally I meet a sub that I can engae with on more than a Domme sub thing that I enjoy playing with but usually it doesnt happen as I find many male subs creepy

Does it mean that I switch when I am bottoming in a scene. Hell no. If I start a scene as a sub that is how it ends unless it is prenegotiated that I swtch. Do I have a problem with staying in sub mode, definately not. Dont know why but I have no problem with subbing or Domming and keeping in one role