A question for hotwife couples

MaturemanAJ

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Mar 26, 2025
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So I read on lit couples or guys that talk about having a hotwife lifestyle or fantasizing about wanting a hotwife lifestyle and the thing I read over and over again is " You want this so you can be with other women "
Next comment to almost 100% is the guys denying they want that.
Really????
Just this past weekend we were out together and she had on an ankle bracelet and I made the comment that I see you have your hotwife ankle bracelet on. It was a joke as she doesn't look at ankle bracelets that way.
Anyway back to the subject and question I need answered.
Why is that the first question out of so many wives mouths? " You looking to be eith other women?" And the husband immediately falling over and saying no.
I don't see myself not seeing others if she is and honestly I am ok if she does. We have talked about it with both sexes.
To me a hotwife doesn't just mean being with other men it could be women too.
Please share why so many guys feel they would just sit back and not look for a playmate also.
 
Yep. I largely have no desire to be with another woman. But I want to bear witness to my wife receiving more pleasure than she can get from me. I’m not egotistical enough to think I’m bringing the best pleasure she could possibly get. But she deserves it 100%. This poor woman has to put up with my shit all the time. She deserves to get what she wants sexually. Side note: we are not a hotwife couple as she refuses to accept the offer haha
 
Yep. I largely have no desire to be with another woman. But I want to bear witness to my wife receiving more pleasure than she can get from me. I’m not egotistical enough to think I’m bringing the best pleasure she could possibly get. But she deserves it 100%. This poor woman has to put up with my shit all the time. She deserves to get what she wants sexually. Side note: we are not a hotwife couple as she refuses to accept the offer haha
Thats a lovely sentiment fella... I can tell you are a pleasure giver, as am I 😊
 
Yep. I largely have no desire to be with another woman. But I want to bear witness to my wife receiving more pleasure than she can get from me. I’m not egotistical enough to think I’m bringing the best pleasure she could possibly get. But she deserves it 100%. This poor woman has to put up with my shit all the time. She deserves to get what she wants sexually. Side note: we are not a hotwife couple as she refuses to accept the offer haha
Ps. My sexy wife is servicing a nice Irish guy currently with my full permission.

Its a thrill when I see him appear on the Ring doorbell knowing 10 mins later he'll be balls deep in my wife 😇😇
 
Although I'd be excited as hell for her to meet a single guy it never came to that, I was always with their wife. To me I looked at it as a means for her to fuck someone else. I had little interest in what I did with their wife it was always about how much fun mine had. Sex is supposed to feel good, and it was but there never any?? spark? connection?? with the few other wives. The other men got the better part of the deal.

In the beginning she asked why I wanted to do this expecting I'd say yes, I wanted another woman. It didn't take long before she realized I had this kink of her being with someone else and didn't get off on what I did with them.
 
Don't consider us a hotwife situation. Hotwives have freedom to be with anyone anytime. My wife and I want to play together only. Also i can say that I have no desire to have another woman involved with us. While I am laid back and enjoy watching her and sharing her, she is very possessive and doesn't want to share me with another woman. I am good with that and just think she is beautiful and sexy when she has a cock or 2 in her hand or mouth or any other place. She is my fantasy and my queen.
 
Just this past weekend we were out together and she had on an ankle bracelet and I made the comment that I see you have your hotwife ankle bracelet on. It was a joke as she doesn't look at ankle bracelets that way.
Almost NOBODY looks at anklets that way. Assuming that a married woman is interested in sex with other men just because she's wearing an anklet is a great way get your balls kicked - and deservedly so. This has to be one of the stupidest notions I read here on Literotica. ..And there are many.

As to why I allow my wife to have NSA sex with others without expecting it in return... I've posted this before, but I'll post it here, too....

Put simply, as my wife neared 50 I felt her overall interest in sex was waning. Though I assumed some of it was related to menopause, I felt it might also be due to the simple fact that she's been with the same man (me!) >3000 times (2-3 times per wk for 35 years), without being with someone else. In other words, she was getting a bit bored of being with just Me. So I told her she was free to occasionally be with other men so long as she was honest with me about it and prioritized her safety and being discrete so our friends and family didn't find out.

So why not demand the same permission in return? Well, I’m as horny for my wife at 60 as I was at 30, so I don't NEED this sort of remedy. Plus my wife has doubts about my ability to have sex with another woman without becoming attached. Before we met, she had sex with lots of guys but fell in love with none of them. For me, on the other hand, she was my first and I quickly fell in love with her. We did break up for 9 months, during which I had other partners, but she was my first, then later became my wife. Of the two of us I’m the more clingy and romantic and I guess she thinks these are risk factors for my becoming attached to another woman after a one-night fling. So she made it clear that while she appreciated my giving her this sexual latitude, she was not comfortable giving it to me. And she needed assurance that I was not making my offer contingent on this.

So yes, that is our agreement. She can, but I can't.
 
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I hate the term Hotwife as it implies that a woman who has occasional sex outside of her marriage is hyper-sexual. I think the opposite may be closer to the truth.

I believe that in many marriages the woman's libido declines more quickly than the mans, and perhaps disappears entirely with the arrival of menopause. I think some husbands encourage their wife to have occasional sex with other men as a catalyst to reinvigorate her overall interest in physical intimacy. It's like the sexual equivalent of jostling the logs of a fire that has nearly gone cold. And of course his expectation is that when her libido increases, her sexual interest in him will increase as well.

This would also explain why some husbands are fine giving their wife this latitude, even if she is unwilling to reciprocate. Put simply, she needs outside sex to restore her diminished libido whereas he may not.
 
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I’d love to fuck other women, and in limited circumstances (when we’re at an adult resort and she’s there), she thinks it’s hot. But mostly, I get off on her fucking other men (and occasionally playing with women). I live vicariously through her sexploits!
 
So I read on lit couples or guys that talk about having a hotwife lifestyle or fantasizing about wanting a hotwife lifestyle and the thing I read over and over again is " You want this so you can be with other women "
Next comment to almost 100% is the guys denying they want that.
Really????
Just this past weekend we were out together and she had on an ankle bracelet and I made the comment that I see you have your hotwife ankle bracelet on. It was a joke as she doesn't look at ankle bracelets that way.
Anyway back to the subject and question I need answered.
Why is that the first question out of so many wives mouths? " You looking to be eith other women?" And the husband immediately falling over and saying no.
I don't see myself not seeing others if she is and honestly I am ok if she does. We have talked about it with both sexes.
To me a hotwife doesn't just mean being with other men it could be women too.
Please share why so many guys feel they would just sit back and not look for a playmate also.
I think there are some preconceived misconceptions here, but that is okay; there often is with this sort of thing. The ankle bracelet thing is kind of telling on that. It is just one of those things that might have a meaning, but it is just as likely a woman wearing one just likes jewelry. It might not be as popular as a necklace, bangle, ring or earrings, but a lot of women wear them who are not into the hotwife lifestyle. My wife has worn them for years and only once was she looked at inquisitively by another woman, almost as if wondering, but it was only because we were well dressed in a hardware store just to pick up some things after church. Even in bars and restaurants wearing them, she has never been hit on as if she was a hotwife.
 
So I read on lit couples or guys that talk about having a hotwife lifestyle or fantasizing about wanting a hotwife lifestyle and the thing I read over and over again is " You want this so you can be with other women "
Next comment to almost 100% is the guys denying they want that.
Really????
Just this past weekend we were out together and she had on an ankle bracelet and I made the comment that I see you have your hotwife ankle bracelet on. It was a joke as she doesn't look at ankle bracelets that way.
Anyway back to the subject and question I need answered.
Why is that the first question out of so many wives mouths? " You looking to be eith other women?" And the husband immediately falling over and saying no.
I don't see myself not seeing others if she is and honestly I am ok if she does. We have talked about it with both sexes.
To me a hotwife doesn't just mean being with other men it could be women too.
Please share why so many guys feel they would just sit back and not look for a playmate also.
The other part of the equation is, a lot of people look at marriage as if it is one singular thing, and it’s not. Marriage is not like a big stick; it’s like a collection of sticks gathered up in a persons arms. One stick is financial. Another is kids. Another is friendship. And yes, sex is another. But it is just part of a collection that makes marriage a life spent together. That is why divorce works. A couple parts ways, but the stick that is their children is passed back and forth, but not the other aspects of the former marriage.

So sex is a big part of marriage, but not all of it.

For some husbands, they could not pull that stick out and allow another man to have that, while others can. But that does not mean it is an automatic, “well I am allowing you too, so you should allow me”. Frankly that kind of mindset is the POLAR OPPOSITE of what most husbands interested in wife sharing have. They love their wives very much and just want her to be sexual satisfied. It is not about them.

That could be for many reasons, but often times based on guilt. Maybe they are not so well endowed, or, maybe they tend to get off too quick and realize their wife can and would love for it to last much longer. But no matter the reason, it is not about them, but him being sexually excited by her being sexually satisfied. In that it becomes a gift to the wife. “Please enjoy the sex I have not really been able to fully give you”.

What you are suggesting, “you can, just so I can”, is just a marriage without any consequences of having sex with others. Good luck with that because it’s not a gift to the wife at all. It’s a demand.
 
When we got to the point where I confessed to my wife my desires for her with other men, she was skeptical. She couldn’t believe I wasn’t interested in other women if she was going to be enjoying other men. Ultimately, her desire to get laid by other men won out.
 
WE had the same conversations with the added factor of me being injured a just cant fuck phyically for any long periods
 
There are lots of reasons why people do this and I believe more of it goes on than people realise. My wife cheated with a few guys years ago and when it eventually came out into the open it became a big part of our sex life. We had no name for it back in the 90s when it started. It was just our secret. After a long break while rearing kids, she recently started seeing a younger guy. Now with me less able to satisfy her as I used to, I get extreme pleasure out of knowing what she gets up to and just hearing about it. It's difficult to explain to people that haven't lived it.
 
There are lots of reasons why people do this and I believe more of it goes on than people realise. My wife cheated with a few guys years ago and when it eventually came out into the open it became a big part of our sex life. We had no name for it back in the 90s when it started. It was just our secret. After a long break while rearing kids, she recently started seeing a younger guy. Now with me less able to satisfy her as I used to, I get extreme pleasure out of knowing what she gets up to and just hearing about it. It's difficult to explain to people that haven't lived it.
Good for her!! 😍
 
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