A question about transsexuals

[bicuriousosaur]

Well, I am watching Maury Povich today, and he was having female to male transsexuals. Anyway, it got me wonder, would you guys (or girls) do a person who neither a man or woman?

 

[Stefani]

Well, I am watching Maury Povich today, and he was having female to male transsexuals. Anyway, it got me wonder, would you guys (or girls) do a person who neither a man or woman?

Hm... why do you say that a TS is "neither" a man or a woman. On the contrary, I consider myself "both" a woman and a man. I have breasts and a penis, doesn't that make me a bit of both?

Not to be hyper-sensitive but...

Your comment "would you do" typifies the attitude most people have about transsexuals. We're for sex only. Wind us up, stick your penis in, and see if we spit out quarters.

I'd much rather know if people would be willing to have a "relationship" with a transsexual. Plenty of men are quite willing to screw our brains out, very few have the guts to actually date us and take us home to meet momma.

Steffie

 

[bicuriousosaur]

Well, Stefani, I meant it mostly in sexual terms, but, to answer your questions to the best of my ability.

Yes, that makes you both. Still, do you consider yourself more of a woman or a man? I'm not really talking about just shemales, I meant the girls who want to be guys.

Now, would I have relationship with a tranny? It probably depends on the person. If she or he is polite about it, then yeah, I would consider dating one. I don't want one who loudly annouces, "Hey, look, I used to be a man!"

Would I accept it? Yeah, being bisexual kind of helps with that. Of course, I would probably do that one hundred questions bullshit.

I apologize if I offended you though, Steffie.

 

[taxi64]

Hm... why do you say that a TS is "neither" a man or a woman. On the contrary, I consider myself "both" a woman and a man. I have breasts and a penis, doesn't that make me a bit of both?

Not to be hyper-sensitive but...

Your comment "would you do" typifies the attitude most people have about transsexuals. We're for sex only. Wind us up, stick your penis in, and see if we spit out quarters.

I'd much rather know if people would be willing to have a "relationship" with a transsexual. Plenty of men are quite willing to screw our brains out, very few have the guts to actually date us and take us home to meet momma.

Steffie

That is a very intresting point, I haven't really thought about it that way. I know that if I had the oportunity I would definatly have sex with a transsexual, and would enjoy it very much, but sadly to say I have never thought of it deeper than that. Guess I have a bit more thinking to do.

 

[madmanmike]

wow etoile hasnt come and lectured everyone on their choice of vocabulary on the subject. but its only a matter of time before she gets here.

bye the way its a fantasy of mine to go on a date with a beautiful woman and then i find out she was a man when its too late. but i have to have no idea until its in my hand.

 

[md3lt4]

Madman:

Many men have this fantasy, of course those of us who are TG also know that all too often when the man you are dating "finds out" he is more than likely to hurt you , if not kill you. Sorry to be a buzzkill but, if you want to date/have relationship with a tg person, then realize that 'we' need to be at least as safety conscous as any other woman, if not moreso.


This was actually pretty close to a question my gender therapist posed to me "Would you have a relationship with a Man?" I Answered yes... "Would you have a realtionship with another transgendered person?" Again I answered yes. I wouldn't want to have sex with someone with whom I couldn't have a relationship. That would depend more on their personality than the organs, or other bodyparts, they may (or may not) have.

 

[bimori]

Hm... why do you say that a TS is "neither" a man or a woman. On the contrary, I consider myself "both" a woman and a man. I have breasts and a penis, doesn't that make me a bit of both?

Not to be hyper-sensitive but...

Your comment "would you do" typifies the attitude most people have about transsexuals. We're for sex only. Wind us up, stick your penis in, and see if we spit out quarters.

I'd much rather know if people would be willing to have a "relationship" with a transsexual. Plenty of men are quite willing to screw our brains out, very few have the guts to actually date us and take us home to meet momma.

Steffie

just want you to know that I've seen your web site and your great pic's . I for 1 would take you home to meet the family anytime . I would have a relationship with a TG in a minute . If You're Bi like I am You would be the best of both worlds . Someone I could treat like a lady and spoil and someone that could make me feel like a full male .

 

[DustyWolfe]

Madman:
This was actually pretty close to a question my gender therapist posed to me "Would you have a relationship with a Man?" I Answered yes... "Would you have a realtionship with another transgendered person?" Again I answered yes. I wouldn't want to have sex with someone with whom I couldn't have a relationship. That would depend more on their personality than the organs, or other bodyparts, they may (or may not) have.

And we have a winner

I agree... I'm not into casual sex... If I cant have a relationship with someone I dont want the sex either. My therapist asked me some of the same questions... Would I be able to be with a man, woman, or another TG/TS. I said "Hell yeah" to all three. I'm attracted to personality the most, then body second.

I know it's alot easier for other TG/TS people to understand the situation just because we know how difficult it can be to get a good relationship, especially once you start transitioning. And if someone acts into you always have to wonder in the back of your mind "Is it me they want, or do they want me for what I am?" I've got a few tranny hags chasing me... so that's where my doubts come in lol

 

[snowy ciara]

No, I wouldn't "do" a person on the basis of plumbing alone. But I'd enjoy a relationship with a person regardless of plumbing issues. People do it for me; cocks and pussies and boobage and curves or any variation thereof, are secondary in consideration, if even that high on the list.

 

[Stefani]

Yes, that makes you both. Still, do you consider yourself more of a woman or a man? I'm not really talking about just shemales, I meant the girls who want to be guys.

I apologize if I offended you though, Steffie.

No apologies necessary BC. Maybe I'm the one who should apologize for coming on too strong. As a TS, some of these issues just cut a little close to home. They're things I have to deal with all the time.

Do I consider myself more a man or a woman? A woman. I live like a woman, plus hormones make you feel like a woman. As my ex-boyfriend said to me once, "The only thing still male about you, is your penis, and you don't even care about that anymore."

Now, would I have relationship with a tranny? It probably depends on the person. If she or he is polite about it, then yeah, I would consider dating one. I don't want one who loudly annouces, "Hey, look, I used to be a man!"

Actually, you would never hear someone like me screaming that. Quite the opposite. When you go through 5 years of torture called electrolysis to get rid of all your facial hair and 8 years of hormones to turn your body into a womans body, and go through all sorts of cosmetic surgery to be able to live this way full-time... the last thing you're ever going to hear me shout is: "I used to be a man!"

Every TS wants to be accepted as a woman. That's generally their goal. Treat them like a lady, and they will adore you.

One minor little sticky point...

Don't use the word "shemale." It makes me cringe. Shemale is a term coined by the pornography industry. When a man uses a word like that, it tells me the only knowledge he has of transsexuals is what he's learned through porno.

If you want to use a politically correct term that won't offend anyone, use "transgendered." TG is a catch-all phrase that includes transsexuals, transvestites, crossdressers and even shemales.

Hope that helps.

Steffie

 

[Stefani]

Madman:

Many men have this fantasy, of course those of us who are TG also know that all too often when the man you are dating "finds out" he is more than likely to hurt you , if not kill you. Sorry to be a buzzkill but, if you want to date/have relationship with a tg person, then realize that 'we' need to be at least as safety conscous as any other woman, if not moreso.

md3lt4 is 100% correct.

Although we love it when a man thinks we're a genetic female, it can get you killed. And it has gotten TS's killed.

Anyone watch "Boys Don't Cry?" Basically the same premesis. Men do not like to be fooled.

Anyone hear the news story about 3-4 years ago about a Mexican TS that was murdered in California (her name escapes me). She was about 19 and very passable. She went to a party, and had sex with a 20 yr old boy... I'm guessing oral sex, because he didn't know her true identity.

Well, later at the party, a girl shows up that knows the Latina is a TS and blabs it to everyone. When the 20 yr old boy realized he'd had sex with a "man" he freaked out. Mostly because he was afraid all his guy friends would tease him about being gay.

So he and his 21 yr old brother and about 2 other guys lured the TS into the garage where they beat her to death... chopped up her body... threw it into hefty bags... and dumped it all over the desert. I think this was somewhere near Sacramento... but I could be wrong.

This is a true story. And a prime example why no smart TS wants to play those types of games.

Steffie

 

[bicuriousosaur]

Stefani:

Be happy that I didn't use the term "chicks with dicks" or "guys with pussies". Just kidding

But, you do have aot of good points. Still, and don't get offended, how do Transgendered men (woman to man), who haven't got their stuff changed, have sex with a woman? That just bogs my mind.

About TGs getting killed, I think it is ultimately stupid for a person to kill another anyway, but to kill someone or kill someone over cause they are/are dating a TG person is just pure hate to me. I don't see it. Have you all seen that show on A&E which did a story about that military guy who was dating a TG and got killed by his bunkmate?

 

[olddevildog]

Whether male of female, Stefani is a very beautiful, sexy and intelligent person.

 

[DaddyJustin]

Stefani:

Be happy that I didn't use the term "chicks with dicks" or "guys with pussies". Just kidding

But, you do have aot of good points. Still, and don't get offended, how do Transgendered men (woman to man), who haven't got their stuff changed, have sex with a woman? That just bogs my mind.

About TGs getting killed, I think it is ultimately stupid for a person to kill another anyway, but to kill someone or kill someone over cause they are/are dating a TG person is just pure hate to me. I don't see it. Have you all seen that show on A&E which did a story about that military guy who was dating a TG and got killed by his bunkmate?

Well it depends on what you mean by sex...but transgendered men or transmen or ftms etc often use strapons and their partners find it pleasurable enough..and dont assume a transgendered man just wants to be with a woman..many of us want to be with a man.

Peace,
Justin (a proud young transman)

 

[Stefani]

Whether male of female, Stefani is a very beautiful, sexy and intelligent person.

bimori and olddevildog,

I think i want to marry you both.

Thank you for the kind words.

Steffie

 

[Stefani]

Well it depends on what you mean by sex...but transgendered men or transmen or ftms etc often use strapons and their partners find it pleasurable enough..and dont assume a transgendered man just wants to be with a woman..many of us want to be with a man.

Peace,
Justin (a proud young transman)

Good points. Also don't assume a MtF TS wants to just be with men. I've had boyfriends, but I have a girlfriend at the moment.

Justin, I've heard that they've made some strides forward sexual reassignment surgery for FtM's. Saw something on the Discovery channel about female to male, where they took out some of the flesh from her forearm to fashion a penis, then they attach some sort of pump mechanism to create an erection.

Definitely the male to female surgery is easier, they just invert the penis (the idea of which still gives me the willies)... they use the head for the clitoris... and the testicles to form a labia... so it's a easier to create a vagina than a penis. Supposedly 70% of post-op MtF's claim to be able to have an orgasm. I'm willing to be it's closer to 50%. Which is why I never wanted to go through the surgery... 50-50 just isn't very good odds. But i understand where a lot of transsexuals feel like they just don't have a choice... they have to go through with a sex change, it's that or kill themselves.

 

[bimori]

bimori and olddevildog,

I think i want to marry you both.

Thank you for the kind words.

Steffie

I think I'm blushing . I think you are a very sexy lady and would do anything to marry you . Vermonts right next door lucky me .

 

[Etoile]

wow etoile hasnt come and lectured everyone on their choice of vocabulary on the subject. but its only a matter of time before she gets here.

Perhaps the fact that the issue was addresed before I even found this thread will impress upon you how important it is. I don't appreciate being painted as a whiny wet blanket when what I've done in the past has been for educational purposes because we didn't have anybody else on the board who knew enough or was bold enough to speak out.

I sincerely appreciate Stefani's, Dusty's, and Justin's contributions to this thread. Even with all my trans friends and sensitivity and knowledge and willingness to advocate in the face of ignorance, I acknowledge that I am not fully familiar with the trans experience because I have not been there. I am so glad that we now have trans members in our forum who are comfortable enough to speak up.

I'll let the comment pass without futher comment because I would like to see this thread continue in a prroductive vein as it has been.

 

[bimori]

bimori and olddevildog,

I think i want to marry you both.

Thank you for the kind words.

Steffie

You are so sweet I could just eat you up . If you really want to marry me Vermonts right next door .

 

[horus1953]

Hm... why do you say that a TS is "neither" a man or a woman. On the contrary, I consider myself "both" a woman and a man. I have breasts and a penis, doesn't that make me a bit of both?

Not to be hyper-sensitive but...

Your comment "would you do" typifies the attitude most people have about transsexuals. We're for sex only. Wind us up, stick your penis in, and see if we spit out quarters.

I'd much rather know if people would be willing to have a "relationship" with a transsexual. Plenty of men are quite willing to screw our brains out, very few have the guts to actually date us and take us home to meet momma.

Steffie

Went to your web site Stefani. Well done! Well written and nicely set up.

 

[Wolf of Mibu 69]

Yes it's a sexual fantasy of mine, but I could also date a TS. Anyone who will accept me for who I am (I'm struggling with weight problems) deserves the same consideration.

A TS who lives as a woman is, in my opinion, a woman. *shrug* I wouldn't feel uncomfortable dating her.

 

[bicuriousosaur]

One of my gay friends told me he had sex with a transman before, and he enjoyed it. Would I still consider them a man, even if they don't have the equipment? Well, it depends how they hold themselves. I think I have more fanasties of transmen than transwomen. Does that make me weird?

 

[Etoile]

One of my gay friends told me he had sex with a transman before, and he enjoyed it. Would I still consider them a man, even if they don't have the equipment? Well, it depends how they hold themselves. I think I have more fanasties of transmen than transwomen. Does that make me weird?

It takes a lot to make somebody weird in my book, but that definitely isn't weird. If you were straight then it might be, but since you seem to be bicurious then I'd say it's pretty normal.

 

[Stefani]

Stefani:

Have you all seen that show on A&E which did a story about that military guy who was dating a TG and got killed by his bunkmate?

BC, there is an independent film about the incident called "Soldier's Girl."

It's not as good a film as "Boys Don't Cry" but it is a true story, and it does a lot to point out the prejudice still rampant in society. On the DVD among the special features is an interview with the TS the soldier was dating.

 

[Stefani]

I am so glad that we now have trans members in our forum who are comfortable enough to speak up.

Etoile, I don't pretend to have all the answers about transition. After 8 years I of transition I probably have more questions now than answers. But am always glad to try to help when possible.

Bimori, you are too sweet. And Vermont is beautiful this time of year (any time of year).

Horus, glad you enjoyed the site. I used to be quite active with it, trying to keep it updated, but actually closed down the opening page about a year ago. The link below is to a page inside the site. Thought mind as well use it here because it might help show people what the trans life is like.

Wolf, always nice to meet a man with the courage to date a TS. Not many men are that understanding. I've had men try to pick me up in clubs, then when I tell them my real deal, they literally turn white. We're definitely not everyone's cup of tea, so I've learned to appreciate open-minded people.

Stay sweet,
Steffie