A question about Discipline

[s'lara]

Well I think I am going to settle on as a general rule.

Top = Dominant, Sadist, Discipline
Bottom = Submissive, Masochist, Bondage

Individuals may vary, so please don't be offended by my opinion.

I think I am going to assign Discipliner as the "type" of person who would be associated to Discipiline. I see this as a teacher, mentor, Discipliner. They are a master of control and use of bondage, not only the physical knots and restraints, but they also know how to bind the mind and heart.

I will write more when I have time...

Ty all

These equations are ... not sure how to put it. i guess they are a little too neat. Please know i am not offended in the least.

As i understand it RJ, you are a Dominant who needs pain occasionally. Where do You fit in in the definition of Top as provided by your equation above?

i am someone who appreciates definitive roles, but i also know that cornering yourself into one mode of thinking/behaving can make for quite a surprise if they don't quite fit. i identify as a masosub, most likely always will. Still, i've come in contact with quite a few people who need to travel between extremes in order to meet opposing needs. That's just their wiring. Seems to be your wiring as well.

i wouldn't worry too much about getting all the ducks in a neat row.

lara

 

[RJMasters]

These equations are ... not sure how to put it. i guess they are a little too neat. Please know i am not offended in the least.

As i understand it RJ, you are a Dominant who needs pain occasionally. Where do You fit in in the definition of Top as provided by your equation above?

i am someone who appreciates definitive roles, but i also know that cornering yourself into one mode of thinking/behaving can make for quite a surprise if they don't quite fit. i identify as a masosub, most likely always will. Still, i've come in contact with quite a few people who need to travel between extremes in order to meet opposing needs. That's just their wiring. Seems to be your wiring as well.

i wouldn't worry too much about getting all the ducks in a neat row.

lara

Ahhh, well good question s'lara.

I don't think I am so much trying to say that a person canot be a combination or mix of any.

Perhaps that is what everyone is hung up about. It is not my goal to force per se anyone into any of these. That would be kinda crazy.

I do think however, I wanted to flush out what the "D" stands for in B/D. Though I know it stands for Discipline, there is not alot of information concerning this. What struck me as odd is how it is easy to "associate" a type of person to the others;

For example:

I think it is agreeable to associate the following with D/S

Dominance - Dominant type person - One who dominates
Submission - Submissive type person - One who submits

I think it is agreeable to associate the following with S/M

Sadism - Sadist type person - One who give pain
Masochism - Masochist type person - One who takes pain

I think what I have done for me by this thread is flush out B/D

Bondage - Enslaved type person - One who accepts bondage
Discipline - Discipliner type person - One who binds another

I do associate topping and bottoming with each of these activities in a "general sense", however, each person has there own reasons for what they do and who they are.

For me, I do have a bit of masochist in me, becuase I value the cleansing aspects of pain. Does that mean I am bottoming?

I don't know. I know that I would not like to be dominated during the exchange, but rather it be strictly pain play.

So I do understand that no one definition or tidy little package is going to be able to define 100% everything there is to BDSM.

But I do not think it is that far of a stretch to see or appreciate this point of view. I do not think it is hard to see that Discipline requires a "Discipliner" which can be associated with topping activities.

I would still use PLY or ply, but what I have included into my thinking because of this thread, is "Discipliner" is part of that PLY.

At least for me.

If I were to write a book, in an attempt to explain the dynamics that exist between people, I believe I would lay this as a foundation, and then build from there. I would show the pairing opposites of a Dominant to a Submissive, a Sadist to a Masochist, and I would show the Discipliner to a person who enjoys bondage.

Then it would be pretty much salad bar for individual self-realization and PLY/ply would suffice for the rest of the book.

I hope that explained better my thoughts about this.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I think it is agreeable to associate the following with S/M

Sadism - Sadist type person - One who give pain ...

Give hell ... yank screaming out of her throat whether stuffed with a cock or not.

 

[RJMasters]

Give hell ... yank screaming out of her throat whether stuffed with a cock or not.

Would "Inflict" be a more percise term?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Would "Inflict" be a more percise term?

In polite company, yes ...

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Bump for

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/newbie.gif

 

[robynwildchild]

yes

no label can ever accuratly depict the personality wholly. The characteristics that make up the depth of a personality can never truly be stated in one word or even in many. It is for the sole purpose of giving structure to those with certain desires to express themselves through these interests.

oh the myriad of possibilities... like a genetic code of possibilities.. yet a sexual one.

lol..

 

[SueJ]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/newbie.gif

LOL...Are you talkin' to ME?

.............

In a non-sexual way, there are many things that are enslaving in life. Money for one. Drugs or alchohol is another. Fears can be enslaving. In each of these I see the capacity for one to be "out of control" or maybe controlled by money-controlled by drugs-controlled by fear...etc....

Real love and caring for a person who is out of control, would help them to become "In Control" or "Controlled". This would require Tough love as well as a strong hand to help calm and free a person from being controlled.

It is not enough to bind one's behavior to prevent it, I feel it is important to teach, train and equip a person to overcome those things which have enslaved them. I would much prefer my submissive to be enslaved to me, that to something else.

Well this sure speaks to me. I'm an artist and if left to my own devices, I go off painting 24/7 and spending too much time on the computer when I'm not painting, and just don't know when to stop, neglecting the entire family and household. Everybody becomes miserable including me, because my anxiety over all the undone chores and dissatisfaction of my husband become overwhelming. I really need him to crack down every once in awhile and remind me of my responsibilities and put things in perspective for me. He doesn't need to be physically abusive in any way for that to happen either; submission for me does not require physical torment. (Guilt works really well too! LOL)

He takes me back to a stricter set of rules and I comply with them, and return to putting his satisfaction first because I love him and want him to be happy. This usually involves some period of not doing any artwork at all---just serving him in all his needs and desires, and remembering how satisfying that can be, and doing the chores around here.

I submit because I know that he wants what is best for me and for us, and I clearly lose sight of that sometimes. He is just better at keeping his priorities in order than I am, and I trust that about him. I need someone who will let me know when I'm letting things in my life take over that are less important than he is. As soon as I give in to him completely, I feel so much better about everything---more relaxed, less anxious, and much happier---and he does too. Then he lets me paint, but on a more limited basis.

Over time, he gets lax and I start pushing the limits and then we have to have another "reminder" session about things that need to get done around here, my responsibility to be in bed naked and ready to do his bidding by a certain time, etc. Honestly, I don't think he likes having to be an 'enforcer'; he'd much prefer that I keep my priorities straight all by my myself and remember that he comes first.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

LOL...Are you talkin' to ME?

i don't know darlin', are you driving a taxi, or begging for a beating? http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

 

[SueJ]

i don't know darlin', are you driving a taxi, or begging for a beating?

Hahaha! Well I guess you weren't talking to me after all!

 

[cellis]

I have always felt that discipline was about consistancy... consistancy of expectations on behavior, dress, roles.. I know what I need and I need just that kind of discipline. I let it be known from the beginning that this what I need. Of course there is the occassional mind-fuck just to keep me off balance.