a poem?

[Haunted Silence]

heres something i wrote not to long ago..hopefully its ok to post it here lol...any comments or suggestions would be great

Whispered Tears

through the pain
beyond the fear
do you hear?
the whispered tears

they are silent
yet screaming
they are innocent
yet forbidding
the whispered tears

how do i escape this hellish torture
how do i become free of these binds
is it only in my mind?
is this all a nightmare?
or is this reality?
for through this pain all i have
are these whispered tears

 

[perks]

binds is a verb.

Keep writing. Keep reading.

 

[champagne1982]

You could use the word binding or bonds. Your error is probably a typo since the i and the o keys are quite close together on a keyboard. I know your spell check wouldn't have detected the error since "binds" is spelt correctly.

You should just read through your poem a couple of times before you hit the submit button and hopefully, in the future you can avoid the error you made here. In a long poem a single mistake is easy to forgive. In a short piece, though, it's almost inexcusable. One error glares at the reader and can destroy the impression you were trying to leave them with.

 

[Haunted Silence]

ooh lol stupid buttons are too close together (and i cant spell for shit anyways ) but thanks for pointing that out is supposed to be bonds

 

[jthserra]

look it up...

binds is a noun... whether typo or not, binds would work there. Only a slight difference, but also, perhaps, a different connotation.

 

[Rybka]

Re: look it up...

binds is a noun... whether typo or not, binds would work there. Only a slight difference, but also, perhaps, a different connotation.

"The ties that bind" and vice versa? A little BDSM anyone?

 

[jthserra]

and...

the binds that tie...


jim

 

[darkmaas]

"The ties that bind" and vice versa?

I always found that if one uses a half windsor when tying a tie, it has a thin but tidy elegance. Or do I mean a half nelson...?