A perfect example of why English is so hard to learn

[desertslave]

A have a friend who is currently working in China and teaching English to fellow employees. She also has a housekeeper who has been learning English elsewhere, and practicing with my friend. I get updates and stories on Facebook which are often hilarious. My friend (Sydney) calls them Elsie-isms. This is one of the best:

Elsie: "Sydney, what this shirt called with grid?" <hand gestures across her chest in a criss-cross manner with her fingers spread>
Me: "That's called plaid."
Elsie: "Plaid. Spell this one." <I spell it> "Why not called grid?"
Me: "Grids are more for describing charts or graphs... plaid is for fabric."
Elsie: "Okay, what this one for getting fish?"
Me: "That's a net."
Elsie: "Net- not plaid?!" <writing it down> "So this shirt Liping wear on Saturday is net?"
Me: "No. That was called mesh. Net that you wear is called mesh." <Elsie is starting to get frustrated>
Elsie: "Okay, but this one that stand in ground to keep the cow in the yard called grid, right?!" <with a look so full of hope>
Me: "Nope. That's called a fence."
Elsie: <sucks her teeth at me> "Sydney, how you learning English? Too many words!! Forget it- I stick to Chinese!!!"

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

With the right 50 words English is quick to pick up, with a 3000 word vocabulary youre good to go about 98% of the time. Chinese requires 8000 characters to get started.

 

[glynndah]

A have a friend who is currently working in China and teaching English to fellow employees. She also has a housekeeper who has been learning English elsewhere, and practicing with my friend. I get updates and stories on Facebook which are often hilarious. My friend (Sydney) calls them Elsie-isms. This is one of the best:

Elsie: "Sydney, what this shirt called with grid?" <hand gestures across her chest in a criss-cross manner with her fingers spread>
Me: "That's called plaid."
Elsie: "Plaid. Spell this one." <I spell it> "Why not called grid?"
Me: "Grids are more for describing charts or graphs... plaid is for fabric."
Elsie: "Okay, what this one for getting fish?"
Me: "That's a net."
Elsie: "Net- not plaid?!" <writing it down> "So this shirt Liping wear on Saturday is net?"
Me: "No. That was called mesh. Net that you wear is called mesh." <Elsie is starting to get frustrated>
Elsie: "Okay, but this one that stand in ground to keep the cow in the yard called grid, right?!" <with a look so full of hope>
Me: "Nope. That's called a fence."
Elsie: <sucks her teeth at me> "Sydney, how you learning English? Too many words!! Forget it- I stick to Chinese!!!"

Please do not tell her about fishnet stockings.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Haha poor baby!

All of those different words for almost-the-same things are what make English so wonderful for poets.

 

[Handley_Page]

As I understand it, it's like Chinese; but not quite so contextual.

That example reminds me of Ziva David (Cote de Pablo, NCIS); she has an interesting choice of phrase on occasions.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

English wouldn't be difficult at all if the bimbos will leave the meanings of words alone.

Like GENDER.

Its been around the track more times than an average LIT gal. The latest version of the word is something a perfesser made up a few years ago to quasi sexualize folks who wanna pretend theyre unicorns and moonbeams. It started out life as a term for cattle breeding, meaning bring forth.

'Sexologist John Money introduced the terminological distinction between biological sex and gender as a role in 1955. Before his work, it was uncommon to use the word "gender" to refer to anything but grammatical categories.[1][2] However, Money's meaning of the word did not become widespread until the 1970s, when feminist theory embraced the distinction between biological sex and the social construct of gender.'

 

[Saxon_Hart]

I've always wanted to know why plaid is pronounced plad rather that played.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've always wanted to know why plaid is pronounced plad rather that played.

And now I wonder--
How is it pronounced in Scotland?

 

[steve44uk]

And now I wonder--
How is it pronounced in Scotland?

It's pronounced "tartan."

 

[Handley_Page]

It's pronounced "tartan."

Nice one!

 

[GradeACdnBeef]

I've always wanted to know why plaid is pronounced plad rather that played.

I've always wanted to know why Sean Bean isn't pronounced either Shawn Bon or Seen Been.

 

[steve44uk]

Nice one!

Why thank you, kind sir...

 

[TheeGoatPig]

As I understand it, it's like Chinese; but not quite so contextual.

That example reminds me of Ziva David (Cote de Pablo, NCIS); she has an interesting choice of phrase on occasions.

I bet the writers have a field day coming up with her weekly misstep of Englishisms.

 

[Handley_Page]

I bet the writers have a field day coming up with her weekly misstep of Englishisms.

Well, I don't think she does it too often, but it's fun when she does.

 

[patsyduncan]

what a funny story… but chinese really do have a hard time getting english. Goodluck to your friend.pokies

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Well, I don't think she does it too often, but it's fun when she does.

Really? Because I'm pretty sure it's a weekly thing.

 

[MatthewVett]

what a funny story… but chinese really do have a hard time getting english. Goodluck to your friend.

I'd argue the reverse is more common. I tried learning some Chinese, got to all the many ways to say "the," and become hopelessly frustrated. I need a class or something...

 

[Saxon_Hart]

Really? Because I'm pretty sure it's a weekly thing.

I've seen it happen on almost all of the episodes I've seen.