a 'normal' sub?

[angelgothgirl]

I'm female, and although I've never tried BDSM, I've often fantasised about being submissive. I've always felt that this makes me kind of abnormal - not the whole BDSM fantasy thing, but being a woman interested in submission.

This feeling was only reinforced by the fact that there are so few stories and websites out there for female subs. Since reading the messages on this board, I've realised that submissive women aren't quite as rare as I used to think, but I still feel that, as a woman, I'm expected to enjoy dominance.

I guess I was just interested in hearing everyone elses opinions on this - am I just completely insane, or not?

~Angelgothgirl~

 

[Etoile]

Welcome to Lit, angelgothgirl! I notice you've been a member for a long time but only just now posted. Glad to have you join us!

I am pretty surprised to hear that you feel women are supposed to be the dominant ones! My feeling is the complete opposite - women, having been lesser than men in much of the world's history, are more naturally the submissive ones. (Of course this is more a societal thing than a sex thing, which kind of goes against my feminist instincts!)

You are completely normal, of course. There are millions of female subs! In fact I think female subs are more common than male subs, but I don't have any concrete number for that.

You're not insane at all, and you're not alone either!

 

[NCShin]

I'll second pretty much everything Etoile said.

 

[angelgothgirl]

women, having been lesser than men in much of the world's history, are more naturally the submissive ones....You're not insane at all, and you're not alone either!

I guess that's why I feel woman should be dominant - kind of a feminist kick back, like I'm destroying years of feminism if I enjoy the idea of being a sub.

Anyway, thanks for your assurance It's nice to hear that there are lots of other female subs, and great to be told that I'm normal!


~Angelgothgirl~

 

[Caitlynne]

I guess that's why I feel woman should be dominant - kind of a feminist kick back, like I'm destroying years of feminism if I enjoy the idea of being a sub.

I have to admit that I went through my period of "I'm a traitor to the cause of feminism" because I am a submissive. It seemed to me to be a contradiction in terms. Until I realized that at the core of feminism is a woman's freedom to choose to *be* who she really is. And I think if feminism meant/means anything, it is all about each woman being able to pursue those things which are *hers*, including submission if that is her desire.

So in the end, I came to realize that feminism has opened the door for me to be who I really am on all levels. A professional in my working career and a submissive in my intimate life.

Just my take on it.... And welcome to the board, sit right down and make yourself at home.

~ Cait

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to agree with Cait, though many a woman who sees herself as feminist will try and tell you how you should live your life to support the cause. That to me is just swapping one form of oppression and oppressor for another, not recognising and acknowledging women are intelligent enough to make the decisions which are right for their lives.

I also see feminism as supportive of the submissive in that the strength you can feel from within, the surity of knowing you can survive, the ability to totally own your own life and destiny then empowers you to make the choice to submit to another, give away some or all of your power from an informed solid place. It becomes a submission born from strength and freedom of choice as opposed to one entered into out of insecurity, exploitation, and a feeling there are no other options. In it's own way it is a freedom as you know you do not need another to dominate you to ensure your survival, but you choose to allow them to because it is what you want.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

I think feminist femsubs are tastier than reactionary stepford femsubs.

 

[Etoile]

I think feminist femsubs are tastier than reactionary stepford femsubs.

*makes eyes at Netzach*

And yet this feminist femsub wants to see the new Stepford movie! heh

 

[AvaAdore]

This feeling was only reinforced by the fact that there are so few stories and websites out there for female subs. Since reading the messages on this board, I've realised that submissive women aren't quite as rare as I used to think, but I still feel that, as a woman, I'm expected to enjoy dominance.

i found quite the opposite when reading through the BDSM stories here; there are far more stories featuring women as submissives than as Dommes.

 

[cellis]

I'm female, and although I've never tried BDSM, I've often fantasised about being submissive. I've always felt that this makes me kind of abnormal - not the whole BDSM fantasy thing, but being a woman interested in submission.

This feeling was only reinforced by the fact that there are so few stories and websites out there for female subs. Since reading the messages on this board, I've realised that submissive women aren't quite as rare as I used to think, but I still feel that, as a woman, I'm expected to enjoy dominance.

I guess I was just interested in hearing everyone elses opinions on this - am I just completely insane, or not?

~Angelgothgirl~

I think if you check the story section here there are a lot of stories about female submissives.

Perhaps you were hanging out at places that were more geared towards FemDommes and it gave you that impression.

 

[angelgothgirl]

Re: Re: a 'normal' sub?

Perhaps you were hanging out at places that were more geared towards FemDommes and it gave you that impression.

I think you're proabably right - the last couple of days I've been searching and I have found more stories about female submission.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I guess that's why I feel woman should be dominant - kind of a feminist kick back, like I'm destroying years of feminism if I enjoy the idea of being a sub.

*SMIRK*

 

[AngelicAssassin]

a 'normal' RR

I think you're proabably right - the last couple of days I've been searching and I have found more stories about female submission.

*SMIRK*

Well ... at least he
didn't ram anything
down her throat in
the process.
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/Thinkingof_.gif

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/2cool2.gif

 

[Kajira Callista]

*SMIRK*

tsk tsk

 

[MissTaken]

My fleeting thought is this:

We must all figure out what is "normal" for us and go with it, embrace it and savour it.

Feminism has paved the way for this sort of thinking and living.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

is there such thing as a "normal sub"?

 

[Phoenix Stone]

is there such a thing as a normal anything? (and why would we want to Be it?)

 

[Vixandra]

Why be a "normal sub?" They tend to be normally dull.

You are free to be as you will and should not feel forced into a role that doesn't suit you.
I could never kneel at someone's feet without falling over laughing or being completely sarcastic about it. Its just not who I am. Could cause a willing one to experiance pain, for that is part of who I am, what I am. I love seeing the marks of my nails and teeth on my beloved's skin. Knowing he'll feel it for a few days to come. It sparks more then just my lust, for I wouldn't mark one I did not care for deeply.

Anyway, back to the topic at paw, if you're heart leads you to find a Dom/me or Master/Mistress, then I wish you good luck and all the joy you can reasonably deal with. If your heart leads you to the other side of the lash, I wish you the same joy.

 

[SweetDommes]

This feeling was only reinforced by the fact that there are so few stories and websites out there for female subs. Since reading the messages on this board, I've realised that submissive women aren't quite as rare as I used to think, but I still feel that, as a woman, I'm expected to enjoy dominance.
~Angelgothgirl~

Um ... I don't know where you've been looking, but in our experience, it's much more the other way. It's all fem-sub stuff (whether it's with female or male dominants). There is very little FemDom/male sub stuff out there that isn't the stereotypical male wet dream of the "dominatrix."

You are definately not alone in this (as others have said).

Miss Karen
Miss Holly