A new start

[Nantob]

Ok, from the beginning.

For the first time in 3 years I'm a single man.

The split was mutual and we're still friends. Things are a little strange but we'll get over that with time. I have faith that all will be ok.

Over the curse of the three year relatinship my ex and I discovered that we both had an interest in the same BDSM slanted sexual practices. We liked to switch, play with basic bondage and roleplay, using toys, collar, etc. It's smething neither of us had ever tried before, we'd both read stories and the like and been drawn in that way.

My only problem now is that I have a taste for it and I don't want to stop.

Although I'm not nearly ready to move on in a relationship sense yet I can't help thinking I've spoiled myself in a way. I don't think I could settle for a relatinship with "Boring" sex anymore.

Not that I don't like more sedate sex, heck, I need it at times. But I think I'd feel smothered if that's all there was.

I guess what I'm throwing this post to you guys and gals for is reassurance. I'd never met anyone who was willing to explore beyond (for want of a better term) Prudy-Sex before. I just want t know that I have a chance f finding that again.


P.S. The "O" button on my keyboard only works 1 in 5 presses so apologies if I missed out any.

 

[BloodFluke]

Is there a law compelling you to be boring?

 

[Nantob]

Is there a law compelling you to be boring?

You could have just ignored me.

 

[BloodFluke]

You could have just ignored me.

You could have thought about what I said.

 

[KinkyRascal]

Retraction...

Is there a law compelling you to be boring?

And here I just finished complimenting you BloodFluke on your openness in another thread. What was that about leaving yourself open to another thought?

And kicking a guy when he's clearly down just isn't right.

Best wishes to you Nantob. Many of us have been there. I can assure you it is very possible to find that which you seek.

Hang in there, it will likely come along when you least expect it. Just don't make any bad decisions forcing things while you're still vulnerable due to your breakup.

 

[BloodFluke]

And here I just finished complimenting you BloodFluke on your openness in another thread. What was that about leaving yourself open to another thought?

And kicking a guy when he's clearly down just isn't right.

Best wishes to you Nantob. Many of us have been there. I can assure you it is very possible to find that which you seek.

Hang in there, it will likely come along when you least expect it. Just don't make any bad decisions forcing things while you're still vulnerable due to your breakup.

There's no reason to interpret this as an insult. Simply inquiring as to why this person felt they needed to feel constrained to boredom in the first place. Local law?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Hey that's funny.

On my other laptop the "a" key no longer works.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Ok, from the beginning.

For the first time in 3 years I'm a single man.

The split was mutual and we're still friends. Things are a little strange but we'll get over that with time. I have faith that all will be ok.

Over the curse of the three year relatinship my ex and I discovered that we both had an interest in the same BDSM slanted sexual practices. We liked to switch, play with basic bondage and roleplay, using toys, collar, etc. It's smething neither of us had ever tried before, we'd both read stories and the like and been drawn in that way.

My only problem now is that I have a taste for it and I don't want to stop.

Although I'm not nearly ready to move on in a relationship sense yet I can't help thinking I've spoiled myself in a way. I don't think I could settle for a relatinship with "Boring" sex anymore.

Not that I don't like more sedate sex, heck, I need it at times. But I think I'd feel smothered if that's all there was.

I guess what I'm throwing this post to you guys and gals for is reassurance. I'd never met anyone who was willing to explore beyond (for want of a better term) Prudy-Sex before. I just want t know that I have a chance f finding that again.


P.S. The "O" button on my keyboard only works 1 in 5 presses so apologies if I missed out any.

Well you are not alone. Many people fall into dealing with an alternative lifestyle with one partner, and when that relationship ends, they wonder if they can rekindle the magic with someone else.

At the risk of being redundant (that won't stop me) I would say. Sit down and think.

Just what do you want at this point in time? If you do not know exactly what you want, you will get whatever comes your way, and it might not be what you were looking for.

The list does not have to be big.

After you decide what you want, then you can go about searching for it.

Eb

 

[CutieMouse]

*grabs a bullhorn*

Everyone who is feeling snarky step AWAY from the keyboards, and no one will get hurt!

*puts down the bullhorn, and adjusts her glasses*

I kinda gotta back up BloodFluke (goodness what a nick!), here; although I'd probably have used a bit prissier language to say the same thing...

There is no law saying that you have to settle for an unfulfilling sex life, if you don't want an unfulfilling sex life.Decide what you want and need from a relationship (sexual, and otherwise), and seek it out. THere are personals sites online that cater to kinky souls (collarme.com, alt.com, lit has a personals section, etc); even "vanilla" personals sites such as Yahoo Personals can help you find someone with similar interests... you just have to be really good at writing an ad that says a lot, wihtout saying a lot.

In the real world, you could look for a local BDSM community, and attend their munches (monthly meeitngs/social gatherings at a normal place like a resturaunt, with normal people who happen to be kinky as hell). You could also take some down time to learn more about yourself, read/research, go to conferences to learn more about the Lifestyle, etc.

In other words, instead of despairing of ever finding a like minded partner- get off your ass and put yourself in a position to find a like minded partner.

 

[BloodFluke]

*grabs a bullhorn*

Everyone who is feeling snarky step AWAY from the keyboards, and no one will get hurt!

*puts down the bullhorn, and adjusts her glasses*

I kinda gotta back up BloodFluke (goodness what a nick!), here; although I'd probably have used a bit prissier language to say the same thing...

There is no law saying that you have to settle for an unfulfilling sex life, if you don't want an unfulfilling sex life.Decide what you want and need from a relationship (sexual, and otherwise), and seek it out. THere are personals sites online that cater to kinky souls (collarme.com, alt.com, lit has a personals section, etc); even "vanilla" personals sites such as Yahoo Personals can help you find someone with similar interests... you just have to be really good at writing an ad that says a lot, wihtout saying a lot.

In the real world, you could look for a local BDSM community, and attend their munches (monthly meeitngs/social gatherings at a normal place like a resturaunt, with normal people who happen to be kinky as hell). You could also take some down time to learn more about yourself, read/research, go to conferences to learn more about the Lifestyle, etc.

In other words, instead of despairing of ever finding a like minded partner- get off your ass and put yourself in a position to find a like minded partner.

You'll pry my snark from my cold, dead hands.

Also, love isn't a guarantee. Good sex isn't a guarantee. You have to work at it. The time you spend despairing about how much it sucks is the time that should be spent out hunting and gathering. Be proactive.

Don't bring a club and smack a woman over the head with it, though. Not at first, make sure she asks nicely. Possibly in writing.

 

[CutieMouse]

You'll pry my snark from my cold, dead hands.

Careful, I've been told I can charm snarkiness out of people.

Don't bring a club and smack a woman over the head with it, though. Not at first, make sure she asks nicely. Possibly in writing.

Someone very important to me once commented-

Be as formal as hell on the first date,
Be charming on the second,
By the third she won't care how tightly you tie the ropes.

 

[BloodFluke]

Careful, I've been told I can charm snarkiness out of people.



Someone very important to me once commented-

Be as formal as hell on the first date,
Be charming on the second,
By the third she won't care how tightly you tie the ropes.

I can charm snarkiness into them.

Excellent advice. Though I prefer formal, charming and tight as an ongoing campaign, used together.

 

[CutieMouse]

Excellent advice. Though I prefer formal, charming and tight as an ongoing campaign, used together.

Damn. I do hope you decide to stick around...

 

[esclave_PP]

Well what the mouse said. Local. Get involved. Meet people. You never know what might happen. Besides, people are often more kinky then they lead on to be.

 

[saw_man1]

Well said

Well what the mouse said. Local. Get involved. Meet people. You never know what might happen. Besides, people are often more kinky then they lead on to be.

Excellent observation.

People are often so much more than they appear to be.

 

[KinkyRascal]

Utmost apologies!

There's no reason to interpret this as an insult. Simply inquiring as to why this person felt they needed to feel constrained to boredom in the first place. Local law?

BloodFluke,

Utmost apologies to you sir! It seemed so out of character and I should have looked deeper for why. I simply missed the "boring sex" statement in the original post and, so, completely misunderstood your reply. I stand corrected and, again, apologize to you sir!

K

 

[DemoonKatjie]

if it might help nantob, could i share a quick experince of mine?

i originally come from an area of the country, that is supposidly known for its free thinking and alternative life styles. Unfortanetly thats not the case, its a very conservative area that likes to say, "Yes You Can, But Please Dont!"

when i found out about the BDSM life styles, and all the very nice things that entails, i found i was very intrested, unfortanetly, as told from above, it was very hard to find people... you just need to keep your eyes open for meetings, and open houses. i found an open house and met people there, granted i met my new master via collarme.com but i still got to know people in my own area if thats what your looking for.

good luck, and no your future sex dosn't have to be boring, like others and myself have already said, just keep your eyes open!





there is no sticking key on my keyboard, my spelling sucks! lol

 

[BloodFluke]

Damn. I do hope you decide to stick around...

Sticking.

 

[BloodFluke]

BloodFluke,

Utmost apologies to you sir! It seemed so out of character and I should have looked deeper for why. I simply missed the "boring sex" statement in the original post and, so, completely misunderstood your reply. I stand corrected and, again, apologize to you sir!

K

Accepted. Okay. Yes. Okay. Accepted.

 

[CutieMouse]

Sticking.

I'm very glad to hear that.