A new poem by a very special friend

[Guest]

I would invite those of you who enjoy reading poetry, and understanding better than most (as I believe) the depth of emotion and sensitivity that people can create through this creative style, to read a poem by "Freehawk"

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=109316

She truly is a very special individual and someone very near and dear to my heart.

She doesn't claim to be a poet, though her heart and soul is poetry. Read this, and hopefully enjoy her words and thoughts as she has shared them here.

And vote if you would, show her some support for a new poet who simply enjoys sharing her personal thoughts and emotions with others.


I remain,

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the link to freehawk's poem, 'A Lighter Heart' as I enjoyed reading the little inspirational piece. So much can be said in just a few words.



neonurotic

 

[WickedEve]

I agree that much can be said with so few words, yet how often have you heard "weight lifted off of my shoulders," "ease my mind," "see it for what it really is," live life to the fullest extent," "believe in yourself," and etc.

This is more of a collection of clichés than a poem. She may be near and dear to you, sandman, and have the heart and soul of poetry, and claim not to be a poet (old excuse for one's writings) but is that a good reason to present us with her work?

If you want us to truly support this "new poet", then send her here so we may better assist her by offering suggestions on how to improve her craft. Voting is pointless. A high score may make her happy, but it won't make her a better writer.

Of course, if she has no desire to be a poet, only to see her writing online, then I'm wasting my words.

This post really is meant to be constructive. Let Freehawk know she's welcome on this board where she'll receive some very useful comments on her poetry. If she truly wants to "share her personal thoughts and emotions with others," then she'll enjoy learning how to successfully communicate them to her readers.

 

[Guest]

Thank you Sandman....

WickedEve... I will take any help, comments, or complaints you have to offer. Any input would be appreciated...

freehawk

 

[WickedEve]

Thank you Sandman....

WickedEve... I will take any help, comments, or complaints you have to offer. Any input would be appreciated...

freehawk

Glad to hear you say that! Many come here making some of the same old mistakes (I did!). I'll be glad to help any way I can. You should check out the threads and try the challenges on the poetry board. I'll try to dig up some old threads later that have some great tips.

 

[Guest]

Glad to hear you say that! Many come here making some of the same old mistakes (I did!). I'll be glad to help any way I can. You should check out the threads and try the challenges on the poetry board. I'll try to dig up some old threads later that have some great tips.

Well, I do wrtie quite a bit. Though I don't post much. Have you read anything else I've posted? Any thoughts on those?

 

[WickedEve]

Well, I do wrtie quite a bit. Though I don't post much. Have you read anything else I've posted? Any thoughts on those?

I'm not sure if I've read anything else. I'll check your member page and see what else you have.

 

[WickedEve]

While I'm searching for older threads that contain great tips for writing poetry (where are you lauren? you know where everything is) give this a read:
Ivory Tower Trash
by JUDO ©

Read any of Judo's poetry to see how the Mistress of sonnets and rhyme handles a poem.

I checked out your non erotic poetry. I can see you do have something to say. I think it's worth your time and effort to develop your skills.

 

[Guest]

I checked out your non erotic poetry. I can see you do have something to say. I think it's worth your time and effort to develop your skills.

Thank you...
I have learned so much about life in the last little while. I would love to learn how to express it a little better.

 

[WickedEve]

Here's a good thread to start with: Poetry 101 -I Spy A cliché

 

[Angeline]

Hi Freehawk!

Welcome to the poetry board and please forgive me for not jumping in sooner (though with Eve helping you, you've got the best ).

I thought The Sandman's description of your work was perfect--your stuff is heartfelt and I do feel the poetry of your lovely messages, but I also agree with Eve. You need to get past cliche and find fresh ways to say things. Your poetry is literate and you're obviously an articulate writer, so it really should just be a matter of direction and then practice and lots of it.

I'll find some links to general info about poetry and post them, if you'd like, but there are a few things I'd start doing right away (you probably are already, but I'm poetry obsessed and really long-winded besides. Just ask the regulars here, lol, they'll tell you).

1. Read poetry every day. Reading stuff posted at Lit is fine, but read the great published poets, too. There are terrific sites like Poetry Magazine, which has some great stuff in its new fall issue or poets.org. These are places where you can read, explore, and see what appeals to you.

2. If you're not already doing so, write every day--even if it's only for 15-30 minues. Here's a great exercise:

Write a poem that describes an everyday object. It doesn't have to be a long poem. Think of what you believe is the essence of the object you choose. What are the most precise words you can find that would describe it?

Say for example you wrote about a lemon. What is its essence--tartness, juiciness, its shape, smell? Maybe all those. Is there anything in your personal experience or reading you could say that would help describe it? Maybe something about making or drinking lemonade. Whatever works. Want more inspiration? Read Pablo Neruda's Ode to a Lemon. There's not a cliche there, he finds a score of unusual ways to describe it, and when you read it, weird as those individual descriptions are, you feel like you just touched, smelled, tasted a lemon. That's great poetry!

Practice builds discipline and gets you thinking. You may produce some stuff you think is utter junk--everyone does--but I guarantee you that if you do this for 3 months as an experiment and then compare before and after, you'll be amazed at your progress.

It's laaate. I'll post more tomorrow if this helps. Feel free to pm or email if you want to chat off the board.



Ange

 

[The_Fool]

Wicked can be so damn nice sometimes....

 

[Angeline]

Wicked can be so damn nice sometimes....

She's a sweetheart, but--lol--she's gonna get you for this, heehee.

 

[The_Fool]

She's a sweetheart, but--lol--she's gonna get you for this, heehee.

She's gotta find me first...*sigh* So little time for Lit fun...

 

[Angeline]

She's gotta find me first...*sigh* So little time for Lit fun...

It will get better. Soothe, soothe. Disposa said that she'll stalk you next time you stop by because even she is sympathetic sometimes.

 

[The_Fool]

Tell disposa I lust for her....

Tell her she needs to ride in my new truck and help me figure out how many Jazz stations I have on the XM radio.

 

[WickedEve]

She's gotta find me first...*sigh* So little time for Lit fun...

I know how you feel. The whole work, raise kids alone, go out into the sunlight once a day thing is really cutting into my online time.

By the way, I'm not nice. I'm wicked. Say it with me, "Wicked."

Thanks for posting the lemon link, Angeline. I've read very little Neruda, but I'd like to read more.

 

[Angeline]

Tell disposa I lust for her....

Tell her she needs to ride in my new truck and help me figure out how many Jazz stations I have on the XM radio.

Absolutely not! I know that woman like I know, well, myself. Radio be damned! She'd be in that truck with a cold bottle of gin, singing Fine and Mellow in no time flat. She's dangerous.

 

[Guest]

Hi Freehawk!

WickedEve...thank you for finding that thread. It will be helpful. I will find time later to write.....

Angeline...Thank you for the advice. It does make sense to write every day. I will make it a point to do so.

freehawk