A New Challenge - Wisdom Rethought

[TarnishedPenny]

Okay, a new contest. The idea is to take a common saying or bit of wisdom, rework it for these crazy modern times and then leave another saying for the next person.

I’ll start with: If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
Updated: If wishes were sports cars, I would have got laid a lot more in high school.

And another: You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.
Updated: You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time and that’s generally enough.

A third example: Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Becomes: Power corrupts and absolute power is even nicer.

Challenge for the next person: Beauty is only skin deep.

 

[SimonDoom]

Challenge for the next person: Beauty is only skin deep.

Beauty is only skin deep, but the shallow end of the pool is where all the fun is, so that's OK.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I like it Simon! Got another saying for the next person?

 

[NotWise]

I don’t believe that’s true. Visage is the mask of the soul.

Isn't a mask intended to hide what's underneath?

Beauty is by Max Factor, zits are skin deep.

The early bird gets the worm.

 

[SimonDoom]

I like it Simon! Got another saying for the next person?

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

 

[SimonDoom]

The early bird gets the worm.

The early bird gets the worm, but the bird who waits until the light is better gets the snake.

 

[Comshaw]

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

A bush in hand is worth more than chasing any two birds.

"Even a blind monkey finds a grape once in a while"

Comshaw

​

 

[NuclearFairy]

Luck’s one thing. Inheritance is another. Ask the blind monkey with a winery.

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

A cake can be pretty, or a cake can be good, but it's not going to be both.

Slow and steady wins the race.

 

[Comshaw]

A cake can be pretty, or a cake can be good, but it's not going to be both.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Fast and hard guarantees the smarting of the participants.


If a man won't cheat for a poke, he doesn't want one bad enough.


Comshaw

 

[Zeronix]

Fast and hard guarantees the smarting of the participants.


If a man won't cheat for a poke, he doesn't want one bad enough.


Comshaw

But a man who likes getting poked will probably never need to cheat.

Challenge: A broken clock is right twice a day.

 

[NotWise]

Challenge: A broken clock is right twice a day.

A broken clock needs a new battery.

Challenge: A friend in need is a friend indeed.

 

[draco519]

Challenge: A friend in need is a friend indeed.

A friend with greed will ride you like a steed.

Challenge; Look both ways when you cross the street.

 

[graysilver]

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can wound the heart and mind.

 

[Comshaw]

A friend with greed will ride you like a steed.

Challenge; Look both ways when you cross the street.

Look both ways or, Squish! Just like grape.

Challange: Don't piss into the wind.

Comshaw

 

[NotWise]

Look both ways or, Squish! Just like grape.

Challange: Don't piss into the wind.

Comshaw

Piss into the wind. It looks good on you.

Challenge: The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step

 

[NuclearFairy]

Piss into the wind. It looks good on you.

Challenge: The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step

The journey of a thousand miles begins with putting the key in the ignition.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

[Comshaw]

The journey of a thousand miles begins with putting the key in the ignition.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop, followed by pants, panties, bra and blouse.

Challenge: A flood starts with a single drop of rain.

Comshaw

 

[Areala-chan]

A flood starts with a single drop of rain, unless you're in the I/T category, in which case it starts with accidentally walking in on your sister while she's changing.

Challenge: a fool and his money are soon parted.

 

[Zeronix]

A flood starts with a single drop of rain, unless you're in the I/T category, in which case it starts with accidentally walking in on your sister while she's changing.

Challenge: a fool and his money are soon parted.

An excess of money makes fools out of us all.

Challenge: Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

 

[TheLobster]

Challenge: Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

'tis worse to only get swiped left than to never have signed up for Tinder at all.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Challenge: Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

'Tis better to have had a positive Wassermann than to never to have loved at all.

Challenge: Let sleeping dogs lie.

 

[Comshaw]

'Tis better to have had a positive Wassermann than to never to have loved at all.

Challenge: Let sleeping dogs lie.

And let petted kitties purr

Challenge: once bitten, twice shy


Comshaw

 

[NotWise]

And let petted kitties purr

Challenge: once bitten, twice shy


Comshaw

Once bitten, iching for days.

Challenge: Blood is thicker than water

 

[lc69hunter]

Blood is thicker than water,

But not thicker than money

Love is a many splendored thing

 

[TheRedChamber]

Blood is thicker than water,

But not thicker than money

Love is a many splendored thing

Love is a splendid manly thing.

Edit: Oh wait, I have to do one...

Many a mickle makes a muckle.