A naughty Christmas poem

[Guest]

Thought it might be fun to write a Naughty....Twas the Night before Christmas Poem.....

Hope you enjoy a laugh out of it.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=72488

I remain,

 

[Guest]

Very cute!

Thanks for the naughty read!

 

[Guest]

LOL....

Glad you liked it sweetsub.......only two votes and it's already at 3.50. <smile>

Ah well...wasn't meant to be a literary piece of art...meant to be fun and amusing for the holiday spirit. Guess it wasn't that either!

But.....my Christmas story "Twelve Days of Christmas" should be posting soon. And I do hope you'll enjoy reading that.

I remain,

 

[Guest]

It WAS fun and amusing - some other folks need to not take themselves so seriously!!

I'll watch for your new story - please let me know when it posts!

(I have a new poem - see football link below - if you get a chance I'd love your input!)

smiles -

Sarah

 

[WickedEve]

sandman

It gave me a wicked smile or two,
so I voted five just for you.

 

[Guest]

LOL.......

Wicked.....you really ARE wicked, you know that?

Not sure the five was worth it,
but appreciated anyway.
At least a vote's been noted,
so the poem will show one day.

Tis Christmas season however,
and your gift so graciously received.
Now if Laurel would post my Christmas story,
I'd really feel relieved.




I remain,

 

[REDWAVE]

Light but amusing

I read it and gave you a 4, Sandman. I'm not quite as good-hearted as Eve, but it was entertaining, and what the hey-- it's Christmas!

Ho ho ho! Horny Holidays!

 

[JUDO]

I wanted this to be a challenge for naughty Christmas poems, so, inspired, I wrote one, too. This is likewise taken from something very traditional, but this time, a song. Depending on your origins, or location, the following is many stanzas sung to 'O Tannenbaum' or 'O Christmas Tree.' Have fun making the Yuletide warmer.


- Judo

----------------------------
O Christmas Elf

sung to 'O Tannenbaum'

O, Christmas time… O, Christmas time,
The malls are full and crowded.
In lines we stand to beat the band.
We pay the prices touted.

In Nordstrom's bar, I saw an elf
With long blonde hair, admiring self.
At this 'Ol time, she looked sublime
I smiled at her and shouted…

* * *

"Do you get off at quarter 'til?"
She smiled at me and paid her bill.
Her lips were full, breasts fuller still.
She saw my eyes and flouted.

"At Santa's house, I work 'til six
With reindeer, kids and surly pricks.
If you can wait, while shop time ticks,
I'll try to get re-routed."

* * *

I watched her hair, tried not to stare
She blushed her cheeks, then pouted.
With lipstick red, her lips she spread.
My mind went blank and clouded.

"I need a ride to get me home.
If you would like, please come along."
She pushed a card into my palm,
Her page and cel -- no doubted.

* * *

I watched her sway and walk away
I felt exposed and outted.
But waiting calmed me down a bit,
I thought of tile I'd grouted.

And then she was right next to me
On leather seats of luxury.
She closed the door and one-two-three
Her lips kissed mine so naughtily.

* * *

In minutes, we were sexily
Embraced in her bed, clothing free.
We made elf love beneath her tree
While Yule logs burned, excitedly.

She had a million toys for bed.
Her body went right to my head.
I savored her like buttered bread,
Then fell asleep like I was dead.

* * *

In morning light, I had to fight
To get my wits about me.
She wasn't there and did she care?
I worried quite a-loudly.

But there at my feet, glowing bright
Pinned to the quilt, my only cover
A simple note that filled my sight --
"Merry Christmas, Lover."

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Light but amusing

I read it and gave you a 4, Sandman. I'm not quite as good-hearted as Eve, but it was entertaining, and what the hey-- it's Christmas!

Ho ho ho! Horny Holidays!

No, you're not as good hearted, RedDevil.

I was thinking of sending you a thick, long yule log for the holidays.

Judo, are there days you don't write poetry?

 

[JUDO]

Re: Re: Light but amusing

Judo, are there days you don't write poetry?

Being popularly cynical, are we, WE?

Yes, there are many days that poetry doesn't get typed by me. In fact, Lauren just told me a couple of weeks ago that I hadn't submitted as much stuff as usual lately.

I don't think I wrote any poetry the two weeks before Thanksgiving, like you, my brain was too preocupied with life trash.

But, I'd planted the thought of writing a seasonal poem every since I saw Sandman's post, what, a week ago? And, since it came out so easily this morning, I'm assuming that it must have been baking in my subcouscious all this time.

Thanks, though. Maybe it just seems like I write poetry all the time. I have been writing everyday for about two years, but not any poetry until the Fall of 2001. Before I wrote "I Want A Girl" back then, I hadn't written any poetry for a number of years. But inspiration behind the wheel took me and bang! My first posted poem.


- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: Re: Light but amusing

popularly cynical?

Would it help if I stood under the mistletoe and puckered up? Come on, someone kiss me.
Actually, I was going to ask you if I could have that poem... pleasssse! I have a spot waiting on it.

 

[JUDO]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Light but amusing

popularly cynical?

Would it help if I stood under the mistletoe and puckered up? Come on, someone kiss me.
Actually, I was going to ask you if I could have that poem... pleasssse! I have a spot waiting on it.

Yes, I've recently read twice and heard more that it is popular to be cynical. You know, as though it were hip or something.

And of course you deserve a passionate, wet kiss followed quickly by a teasing fondle. Where should I mail them?

Is this for your site, the spot waiting? I'd like that.

(<- Now, wouldn't you like to know just where that one went?)

- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Light but amusing

Yes, I've recently read twice and heard more that it is popular to be cynical. You know, as though it were hip or something.

And of course you deserve a passionate, wet kiss followed quickly by a teasing fondle. Where should I mail them?

Is this for your site, the spot waiting? I'd like that.

(<- Now, wouldn't you like to know just where that one went?)

- Judo

Hey, if it's popular then I'm not going to be cynical. I don't follow the crowd. I run from it... especially when they have sticks and rocks. lol

I can guess of several juicy spots that could have landed. All my spots thank you.

I'll PM you about the poem.

 

[Guest]

Well wicked.....

I've tried reading your poems backwards, as well as sideways and forward......all I get is excited. Does that count?

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Well wicked.....

I've tried reading your poems backwards, as well as sideways and forward......all I get is excited. Does that count?

sorry sandy. I removed all the devil messages and my phone number. now if you read it backwards you get a merry christmas message about me being nice in a very naughty way. ho ho ho

 

[JUDO]

O Christmas Elf now posted!

:jingle, jingle:


- Judo

 

[Guest]

Wonderful Poem!

I read it yesterday on this thread and I just read it again! Naughty and nice!

 

[Guest]

You just got my vote Judo......

Great job.

Catchy tune BTW.........(lol)

 

[Guest]

Jiggle Boobs?

Dashing through the house,
as my wife was in the mood to play
Over the bed we fell,
laughing all the way.

On put my cocktails ring
Making it feel alright
Breasts on wife so big
surrounding me so tight.

Oh....jiggle boobs, jiggle boobs,
jiggle all the way.
Oh what fun to fuck these tits
and to cum on them this way...hey!

Jiggle boobs...jiggle boobs
jiggle all the way...
Oh what fun to fuck these tits,
and to do it everyday!

 

[Guest]

BTW Wicked........

My Christmas story posted....."Twelve days of Christmas"

I'm sure you'll enjoy "Three French hens" <wink>

 

[Guest]

Oh, nice work on your story! Very hot, very ingenious!

 

[Guest]

Thank you again.......

Sweetsubsarahh...

Your comments meant a lot to me. Glad you enjoyed it. I hoped you would.

I remain,

 

[Guest]

Thank you again.......

Sweetsubsarahh...

Your comments meant a lot to me. Glad you enjoyed it. I hoped you would.

I remain,

 

[Guest]

Thank you again.......

Sweetsubsarahh...

Your comments meant a lot to me. Glad you enjoyed it. I hoped you would.

I remain,

 

[Guest]

Ok.......is that a glich?

Or de'ja vue? lol........