A narrative like spoken, freefall poem to tear apart

[CharleyH]

like animals if you like! Grrr I want to make it more sexual before the end. Any thoughts?

The pain of what's good for a bitch

I'm nervous anxious,
PANICKING.
So why do you look so smug
and greet me with a smile that’s more
sinister than
certainly those
funny little photos on your ceiling.
What's up with that?
A part of your sadistic humour, no doubt.
Is it supposed to make me feel …
Good…
or even great
as I open wide for your fingers
and the tools of your trade?
I don't like my palms sweating
heart racing
like this!
"I'm allergic to latex," I say passively,
but I'm thinking aggressively how much I
hate this scenario,
detest you who has no care
as you freeze my mouth with your …
I tell you I hate this session
but you persist
with excuses of your "expertise".
I don't care for excuses
I pay you and,
I hate you for it
you de Sadian dentist.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

like animals if you like! Grrr I want to make it more sexual before the end. Any thoughts?

I think that if you want to make it more sexual, it needs a little structure to pace it better, and allow you to emphatise the elements you want. Maybe something like:


The pain of what's good for a bitch

I'm nervous
- - - - anxious,
- - - - - - - panicking

Why do you look so smug
and greet me with a smile
that’s more sinister than those
funny little photos on your ceiling.

What's up with that?
Your sadistic humour, no doubt.
Is it supposed to make me feel good
as I open wide for your fingers
and the tools of your trade?

I don't like
my palms sweating
my heart racing like this.

"I'm allergic to latex,"
I say passively
but I'm thinking
- - - - aggressively
how much I hate this scenario
detest you
who has no care
as you freeze my mouth.

I tell you I hate this session
but you persist
with excuses of your expertise.

I don't care for excuses
I pay you
and I hate you for it,

You De Sadian dentist.

 

[WickedEve]

It's a fine and dandy rant, but, but... hasn't the dentist thing been done quite a bit? Oh! I had a dentist, and I'm pretty darn sure he was a dom. What a fucking attitude. Mean, sexy bastard. Then I traded him in on this old guy (60s or 70) and he was an ex-racecar driver and about 6'9. He was totally cool. My last dentist was a real sweetie who practically wept if he caused a bit of pain. Okay, I guess I can get into a dentist poem.

 

[CharleyH]

It's a fine and dandy rant, but, but... hasn't the dentist thing been done quite a bit? Oh! I had a dentist, and I'm pretty darn sure he was a dom. What a fucking attitude. Mean, sexy bastard. Then I traded him in on this old guy (60s or 70) and he was an ex-racecar driver and about 6'9. He was totally cool. My last dentist was a real sweetie who practically wept if he caused a bit of pain. Okay, I guess I can get into a dentist poem.

I am sure it has but I just went to one, and wrote with my mouth frozen. I said free fall, help me pull out the cliche's then? BEOTCH! Be a dentist and pull my proverbial teeth. I WANT IT!

Edit: especially from you (thanks so far)

 

[champagne1982]

you had me thinking gynecologist

 

[The_Fool]

Thoughts:

Helpless feeling tied to the chair.

Hands making clinched fists.

Focus on insertion. Inserting your fingers into my mouth.

Using your tools to probe.

Probing for cavities

Nonchalant use of your drill.

Waiting and dreading the pain that might happen.

Feeling of limpness, sweatiness when he/she is done.

Drained of all emotion except relief that is is over.

By the way, I call my Dentist "Madame Torturer, Queen of Pain" everytime I see her.

 

[bogusbrig]

I had a female dentist once. No erotic charge, just one that busted my wallet.

I used to have a female doctor too and though objectively, she was rather attractive, again no erotic charge. Just the thought, what the hell am I doing here?

Maybe it's a sexual power differential thing but being helpless in a dentist's chair or having a female doctor checking my balls, only made them shrivel and retreat as best they could.


I've read several poems and stories about dentists by female writers in morbid fascination. I even read a blog with a heading 'Men I have subbed to' which ended up being just about a visit to the dentist. Maybe it is a dom thing after all but what is erotic about someone sticking dangerous tools in your mouth is beyond me.

 

[Angeline]

It's a fine and dandy rant, but, but... hasn't the dentist thing been done quite a bit? Oh! I had a dentist, and I'm pretty darn sure he was a dom. What a fucking attitude. Mean, sexy bastard. Then I traded him in on this old guy (60s or 70) and he was an ex-racecar driver and about 6'9. He was totally cool. My last dentist was a real sweetie who practically wept if he caused a bit of pain. Okay, I guess I can get into a dentist poem.

I used to call my dentist Bernstein the Butcher...and he sang the whole time.

Sorry, CH--I'll uncrash you thread now.

 

[wildsweetone]

I had a female dentist once. No erotic charge, just one that busted my wallet.

I used to have a female doctor too and though objectively, she was rather attractive, again no erotic charge. Just the thought, what the hell am I doing here?

Maybe it's a sexual power differential thing but being helpless in a dentist's chair or having a female doctor checking my balls, only made them shrivel and retreat as best they could.


I've read several poems and stories about dentists by female writers in morbid fascination. I even read a blog with a heading 'Men I have subbed to' which ended up being just about a visit to the dentist. Maybe it is a dom thing after all but what is erotic about someone sticking dangerous tools in your mouth is beyond me.

...tempting.

 

[The_Fool]

...tempting.

Yes you are...

 

[CharleyH]

Thoughts:

Helpless feeling tied to the chair.

Hands making clinched fists.

Focus on insertion. Inserting your fingers into my mouth.

Using your tools to probe.

Probing for cavities

Nonchalant use of your drill.

Waiting and dreading the pain that might happen.

Feeling of limpness, sweatiness when he/she is done.

Drained of all emotion except relief that is is over.

By the way, I call my Dentist "Madame Torturer, Queen of Pain" everytime I see her.

I wonder? When docs do spectulum exams and penis and rectum probes, why it is not so sadistic? Is the cliche of Sadistic dentist simply a result of "Marathon Man" or "The Little Shop of Horrors"? Perhaps the dentist thing is too sadistic cliche because it's a dentist and maybe it could be more sexual at the back of the rant/poem and painful at the front?

 

[CharleyH]

I had a female dentist once. No erotic charge, just one that busted my wallet.

I used to have a female doctor too and though objectively, she was rather attractive, again no erotic charge. Just the thought, what the hell am I doing here?

Maybe it's a sexual power differential thing but being helpless in a dentist's chair or having a female doctor checking my balls, only made them shrivel and retreat as best they could.


I've read several poems and stories about dentists by female writers in morbid fascination. I even read a blog with a heading 'Men I have subbed to' which ended up being just about a visit to the dentist. Maybe it is a dom thing after all but what is erotic about someone sticking dangerous tools in your mouth is beyond me.

Hm, perhaps the patient should have more power? interesting.

 

[CharleyH]

I used to call my dentist Bernstein the Butcher...and he sang the whole time.

Sorry, CH--I'll uncrash you thread now.

Every time you crash on me? Its very orgasmic - thank you!