A long, long weekend...

[Guest]

... and I was on my way home from my sister's house where I go every Sunday for dinner and to spend time with my aging mother. I was behind a car going about five miles under the speed limit and in front of a police car. Traffic was horrendous so needless to say, I wasn't going to be passing at any time.

We were heading up this long hill and I was trying to control my road rage as the man slowed down even more and even once hit his brakes. Suddenly, I see something hit his windshield, fly off and land on mine.

It was a dead bird and it kind of freaked me out a bit. So I hit my windshield wipers and it went flying and hit the cop car behind me. His lights came on and I noticed that he was waving me over.

Now I was no where close to speeding, my tags are up to date and I just had my brake lights replaced so I couldn't for the life of me figure out what he was pulling me over for. I just figured that it was going to be par for the course of the way the rest of this weekend had gone.

He gets out of his car, comes up to my window and leans in to look at me.

Then he wrote the ticket.

I got fined for "Flipping him the bird."

 

[Vermilion]

a cop with a sense of humour?????????
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[Chantilyvamp]

I don't know whether to laugh or say wtf...its not like you intentionally threw the bird at him. I think I'm leanign towards the laughing.

 

[rgraham666]

OK. That was an interesting story.

 

[Guest]

It's a joke, right?

I can't take this seriously.

 

[jomar]

Ouch. Will you be playing the lounge all week?

 

[S-Des]

Wait, I saw that movie. Except Debra Winger then got the bird stuck to the side of her head.

 

[Guest]

Wait, I saw that movie. Except Debra Winger then got the bird stuck to the side of her head.

Have you ever seen Danielle and Debra Winger in the same room?

I thought not.

 

[Adi87]

I'm sorry for your day but for some silly reason I cant stop laughing... I'm still picturing the dead bird flipping over those cars...

 

[Guest]

Saturday, I went to Walmart and picked up a bag of dog food. The lines were terrible, I think everybody there was buying the new Harry Potter book. Anyway, it was a friendly crowd and the woman in front of me turned around and saw the big bag of dog food I had in my cart.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Have you got dogs?" she asked.

Well, being the bit of a smart ass I am and a little surprised by the stupidity of her question, I made a split second decision. "Actually, no. It's called the Purina Diet and I've already lost fifty pounds before I ended up in the hospital."

"You're kidding me, aren't you?" she asked.

"Nope," I said. You just keep the kibble in your purse or pockets and when you feel hunger pangs you pop a couple in your mouth. Takes care of the pangs and keeps you going til dinner."

"So why'd you end up in the hospital?" another man asked, by then I had quite a few listening into the conversation. "Let me guess, lack of nutrients?"

"Oh no, nothing like that," I said, waving my hand at him. "I actually stopped to lick my butt and a car hit me."

 

[Vermilion]

Oooooooooh... a comedian, huh?
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