I need to babble for a bit and well.. there is no other place that seems more fitting. Not that many of you will really care, but I guess this is kind of more for me anyways.
I came to lit because I was unhappy in my marriage. I was sexually and emotionally dissatisfied. Exactly 5 months ago today I put an end to it. I confessed to my husband how unhappy I was and that I was ready to end our relationship. Since that time my life has been full of devastating lows and exhilarating highs. I became even more dependent on this place to distract me from the mess that my life had become.
Within the next month everything will be finalized. I will be completely on my own for the first time since I graduated high school. I should be terrified, but I am not. I feel like the force that has kept me in my seat for the past 15 years has released its grip and I am finally free to soar. I cannot wait to start the next chapter in my life.
The best part... One day out of the blue I was met by a pair of green eyes with an intensity that exceeded my own (and for those that have not seen them, I have some pretty intense green eyes.. lol) I had no idea as I sat staring into those eyes, laughing and flirting that the wonderful man they belonged to would become such an important presence in my life. I can honestly say for the first time in my life I have found someone I can laugh, dance, and be free with. People have come and gone from my life that I thought I was uninhibited with, but there was always something hanging over it.. tainting it. But when I am with him, it is so different. It is easy and simple. It feels natural to be with him and he makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world. I guess it kind of sheds light on how superficial this online world was for me.
With that said, I don't really need to be here anymore. I don't need the distraction anymore. I feel bad because I have met a lot of great people here, but I don't have the time or energy to say good bye to each and everyone of you. I don't mean to lump everyone into one generic farewell, and it certainly shouldn't reflect on the individual friendships I formed here. But it is time for me to leave this place. I know I have said it before and gone on hiatus, but it is different this time. I am finally happy and I need to just live in the moment with the person that makes me happy.
If you come back let me tell you how much I have enjoyed your many posts on this and other threads.
I wish you the best. If you decide to return..you will be welcomed back.
You will be missed by the people that cared for you.
