a literal pussy acting like a figurative pussy

[Frimost]

So that co-associate I mentioned in another thread before, the one I am attracted too...

bitch.

So she is cute and VERY out going, I first got interested in her when I was with another associate who mentioned how he liked the way her perfumed smelled and she fluffed her hair for him to catch a better wiff of it. Then, even though I hadn't said a word since I didn't know her and was sort of standing to the side she then walked right up to me with a big smile on her face and dent her head and fliffed her hair for me to smell too.

When ever I saw her her pretty eyes would light up and she would get a big smile on her face. We would always say hi to each other and many times talk with one another.

As you know I am shy and reverved IRL around women I am interested in (maybe you don't but you do now after reading this) so when I heard she went to a bar nearby my apartment on Sunday nights I went there too to see her boogie down and dance the night away.

Since the bar was so close and convienant I started going there more often and on days she didn't go there.

Recently it seemed like she was avoiding me, monday was where it seemed obvious enough to tell for sure it was not just my imagination and that something was going on.

So I am working at my job when I get a page to come back to the managments office.

I have no idea what it could be about, more complaints about work performance as they treat all of its associates like horses thinking the harder they whip us and threaten us the better we will work, had they heard about my morale revervations about the Star Wars DVD shady tactics we pulled today on Toy's 'R' US?

I get into the office and my boss, the manager of my department AND the STORE manager himself are there waiting for me....
Was it about business?

No, the bitch was too much of a pussy to tell me to my face that she wasn't interested me "in that way" and she had spilled the beans and told THEM about personal shit, asked THEM to tell ME that she "didn't like me in that way". So know trhey know, so there I sat publically humilated, under the microscope, like some interogation, feeling like some stalker just becasue she is a dick-tease flirt who intentionally or unintentionally leads guys on that she is interested in them.

She couldn't just pull me aside and tell me herself, now who knows what kind of laughs they are having at my expense right now, what rumors may be circulating behind my back.

I couldn't even look at her in the face today when she showed up on her day off for a little employee fashion show after my shift ended.

I'll tell you what, anymore shit like this for much longer and it will turn me into a card carrying women-hater. Of course then, when I hate them and treat them like shit is when they will probably suddently become romatically interested in me BECAUSE I act like an asshole to them.

 

[Freya]

In 2 days, you have started threads on women titled "Bitches", "sluts" and "pussies"

Gee, I wonder why they don't like you.

 

[Frimost]

What the hell do you know? I am a nice, quite, and shy and stuff in public. I come here to vent my frustrations, I don't talk like this to people IRL (unless they are freinds and we are joking around and stuff), dose anyone?

They are always going for the people who actually DO act like assholes IRL instead of just on the net to rant away the day's frustrations.

 

[Monazwx]

I sympathize with you on this one Frimost.
She could have been a real woman and not involved the mgmt.
I mean that kind of shit is only a last resort.

I feel bad for what you had to go through.
But this will pass. No one will remember (or care) soon enough.

 

[Nora]

You must've made her pretty seriously uncomfortable for her to swallow her own embarrassment and go to management about it. Not to mention changing where she hangs out just to avoid you.

You might wanna do some introspection and figure out if she's really a "bitch" or if maybe you have some personal responsibility for your own actions.

 

[Problem Child]

Can anyone besides Fry-most please tell me why we should give two shits about this?

 

[Frimost]

Oh suuure, talke the pretty younf woman's side, nearly everyone ALWAAAAYS dose. Its like in the Mideval times, when someone was arrested for a crime and it was one man's word against the other the more handsome man would always win becasue it was the churches belief that God favored beutiful people with good looks as a gift for obediance and that the better you looked the closer you were to god, therfore the more trustworthy and morally upstanding you were.

The whole time it was all about HER feeling and how SHE felt, pfff. How did they think I felt being embarassed like that? They didn't care, they just wanted to side with the fine peice of ass.

 

[Frimost]

You don't have to give two shits about this PC, one shit would be perfectly fine.

Seriously, don't read it if you don't care, I am just venting here like I said before (afterall, it is a GENERAL board).

 

[Rubyfruit]

Frimost, babe, you've been hanging out with IA951 too much.

 

[Frimost]

Well, she was a bitch for doing that anyway-part of me still likes her despite that. She was the one that the other chick in another thread I wrote SAID to that SHE would never find a good man out there-so she is "out there", on the market, going to bars..She has two little kids but is getting a divorce and looking to meet a nice guy. That was one reason I thought she might be interested in me, now part of me is kind of hoping in a way she ends up with a jerk like she must have hooked-up with before. And you now what, she will probably then go on to blame all us men for not being any good and that other garbage.

 

[MissTaken]

She sounds like either

A) she is in her early twenties and immature.

B) a tease

c) Right on the money depending on how and why she felt adn what you did to make her feel that way.

What do you expect?
Many here aren't going to respond to a one sided comment especially when your terminology is so clearly disrespectful to women.

The thread title

"a literal pussy" = assumably an attractive woman as that is what she was until she turned into into a
"figurative pussy"= bitch.

Well if all women are to you is a bit of pussy, well?????

She may be a bitch, but your behavior and thinking is pretty negative as well.

 

[Monazwx]

Frimost, baby calm down.
You just said that she was getting out of a divorce, so right now she is probably not even thinking straight. If she has the negative outlook you're describing, this maybe why she doesn't recognize the good catch in front of her.

Question: Did she tell you beforehand that she wasn't interested?
Also, does she know that the bar was close to where you live, or what you were hanging out hoping to spot her? Cause that would be kind of creepy.

 

[Frimost]

When the hell did I call ALL women pussies? If you call your ex-bf or current male freind a dick do your other guy buddies all assume that you called them and all other men dicks as well?

 

[Aquila]

just stalking through

 

[Frimost]

Question: Did she tell you beforehand that she wasn't interested?
Also, does she know that the bar was close to where you live, or what you were hanging out hoping to spot her? Cause that would be kind of creepy.

She had never said shit about her possible love interest in me, just the big flirtatous smiles and kind words. We had NEVER had a good long sit-down to talk about that kind of stuff outside of the work atmosphere (were talking too long on the job can get you yelled at). I went to the bar hoping that we could have a nice conversation about her, her kids, her life, all that kind of stuff so that I could get to know her better. But it was the kind of bar that was packed as hell with no tables of chairs left and the music blaring too loud from the live band to talk or hear what was being said, and besides, all she wanted to do was dance, dance...

Yes, she knew the bar was like two or three blocks from my apartment...

 

[zipman]

You must've made her pretty seriously uncomfortable for her to swallow her own embarrassment and go to management about it. Not to mention changing where she hangs out just to avoid you.

You might wanna do some introspection and figure out if she's really a "bitch" or if maybe you have some personal responsibility for your own actions.

This is a damn good post and you should read it again.

To tell you the truth, you are coming across somewhere between a whining baby and a possible stalker. Neither of those are popular with women, by the way.

Good luck.

 

[Weevil]

So that co-associate I mentioned in another thread before, the one I am attracted too...

bitch.

So she is cute and VERY out going, I first got interested in her when I was with another associate who mentioned how he liked the way her perfumed smelled and she fluffed her hair for him to catch a better wiff of it. Then, even though I hadn't said a word since I didn't know her and was sort of standing to the side she then walked right up to me with a big smile on her face and dent her head and fliffed her hair for me to smell too.

When ever I saw her her pretty eyes would light up and she would get a big smile on her face. We would always say hi to each other and many times talk with one another.

As you know I am shy and reverved IRL around women I am interested in (maybe you don't but you do now after reading this) so when I heard she went to a bar nearby my apartment on Sunday nights I went there too to see her boogie down and dance the night away.

Since the bar was so close and convienant I started going there more often and on days she didn't go there.

Recently it seemed like she was avoiding me, monday was where it seemed obvious enough to tell for sure it was not just my imagination and that something was going on.

So I am working at my job when I get a page to come back to the managments office.

I have no idea what it could be about, more complaints about work performance as they treat all of its associates like horses thinking the harder they whip us and threaten us the better we will work, had they heard about my morale revervations about the Star Wars DVD shady tactics we pulled today on Toy's 'R' US?

I get into the office and my boss, the manager of my department AND the STORE manager himself are there waiting for me....
Was it about business?

No, the bitch was too much of a pussy to tell me to my face that she wasn't interested me "in that way" and she had spilled the beans and told THEM about personal shit, asked THEM to tell ME that she "didn't like me in that way". So know trhey know, so there I sat publically humilated, under the microscope, like some interogation, feeling like some stalker just becasue she is a dick-tease flirt who intentionally or unintentionally leads guys on that she is interested in them.

She couldn't just pull me aside and tell me herself, now who knows what kind of laughs they are having at my expense right now, what rumors may be circulating behind my back.

I couldn't even look at her in the face today when she showed up on her day off for a little employee fashion show after my shift ended.

I'll tell you what, anymore shit like this for much longer and it will turn me into a card carrying women-hater. Of course then, when I hate them and treat them like shit is when they will probably suddently become romatically interested in me BECAUSE I act like an asshole to them.

Let's see if we solve the unfathomable question of why this woman doesn't like you. Let's break it down

1) She is friendly at work to you.
2) You from a third party source that she hangs out on a bar on a certain night and you show up to, in your words "see her boogie down"

Now right there is something disturbing. You went out of your way to "bump into her". What if she found out you had known where she'd be? That would probably give most women a creepy feeling.

3) You start going to the bar she hangs out at more frequently
4) She stops going

Now, Frimost you might be new to the whole Male/Female Interaction thing but that right there is a pretty good sign. Your creepiness discussed above probably put her off telling you to your face.

Don't think of this as a weird chick thing, it's normal. You creeped a girl out, you're probably bigger than she is so telling you off to your face would have been:

a) intimidating
b) uncomfortable
c) potentially dangerous

So look at it from her perspective, this upset you and so she went above your head to let you know in a safe way that she was not flattered by the attention.

You say yourself that she might have lead you on unintentionally and your creepy reaction to it(Trying to meet her through info learned about her) as opposed to the normal way(Asking her out) probably sealed the deal on the whole telling you to your face.

The lesson learned? You should be more direct. A gentle "thanks but no thanks" probably would have been less grief then a meeting with your employers(Which was obviously neccesary judging by your post meeting rage)




PS Don't try the asshole thing. That only works for those of us who are drop dead gorgeous.

 

[st4nton]

you guys crack me up.

 

[zipman]

you guys crack me up.

Thank you for not communicating that through upper management.

 

[70/30]

It's hard to pull off 'planned circumstance'; especially if you are the introverted, non-meeting girls type. It might seem hard to do the direct approach but that's the best way to avoid the sort of situations you mentioned. I've been doing none of the above for a while, I just don't pay attention to anyone (btw it doesn't work but at least when someone says I'm creepy, I can pretend I've never noticed that person).

 

[sexy-girl]

frimost i can understand you being angry some but when a woman has someone from their work invade their out of work territory it can feel kinda weird (i know that wasn't your intentions im not accusing you of being a stalker)

also like weevil said you're a big kinda guy so she might of been afraid to tell you to your face if she didn't know you that well

women have to be smart they have to be careful because there are bad men out in the world that would attack a woman ... i know you wouldn't but she didn't know that (well i think you wouldn't i dont know you that well myself)


what you should of done in my opinion is ask her while you were at work maybe said you heard she go's to a bar that was near your apartment ask her if she'd like you to buy her a drink there or something then you're not invading her territory without being invited

or if you didn't want to be that direct you could of said that you were going to be there friday night and maybe you'd see her ... that way if she didn't show then you know she wasn't interested without you having to put your feelings in danger

but sometimes to get what you want you do have to put your feelings in danger and be bold and just come out and maybe get rejected


frimost these are only friendly suggestions im not bashing you or taking the woman's side im just trying to help

i have had a stalker before and its not nice and it does make me extra careful to avoid that sort of thing happening again maybe she was just being like that

 

[Cytra]

she's probably not looking for someone working at wal-mart to help raise two kids. some women set themselves standards.. it's not your fault.

cytra

 

[LacyLady]

just bad all around

 

[phrodeau]

I'll say it again. Frimost, there are some dumbass managers at that place you work.

How do you know they told you the truth? How can you be sure that the girl complained to them about you? Why would a boss do his employee's bidding in a personal matter?

This is the sort of thing that could end your career there. I recommend that you set up a meeting with the managers, the girl and you. Air the issue and get something on paper. Talk to a lawyer beforehand, if you're unfamiliar with harrassment issues. You do have certain rights. There are clear lines you may or may not have crossed. Did you violate a company policy? Did she?

 

[zipman]

I'll say it again. Frimost, there are some dumbass managers at that place you work.

How do you know they told you the truth? How can you be sure that the girl complained to them about you? Why would a boss do his employee's bidding in a personal matter?

This is the sort of thing that could end your career there. I recommend that you set up a meeting with the managers, the girl and you. Air the issue and get something on paper. Talk to a lawyer beforehand, if you're unfamiliar with harrassment issues. You do have certain rights. There are clear lines you may or may not have crossed. Did you violate a company policy? Did she?

Actually those managers were very smart! They have an obligation to address any reports of sexual harrassment in the exact manner that they did. They weren't doing the employees' bidding, they were protecting the company against potential litigation.

However, your point about documenting Frimost's side of the issue with management is worth repeating and is good advice.