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A Knight and his Squire (Closed for Apollo Wilde)

The walk back to the outpost was pleasant - the sun was rising, its warmth spreading gold fingers across the chill mountains, dappling the trees, illuminating the patches of grass that struggled to grow in the rockier soil. Save for the birdsong and their footsteps, the walk was silent. Not uncomfortably so - Taika never was one for a bunch of chatter to hear the sound of her own voice. As they walked now, her focus seemed to be on the sky through the trees, a small smile on her lips as she watched it. It was shaping out to be a nice day.

As they approached the Outpost, Taika gave the two guards a small smile in recognition. The hunt and the fresh air had helped with her earlier bout of melancholy that had overtaken her before. If “melancholy” was the right word for it. Perhaps “brooding” would have been better. But that was one of the signs - the mood changes. It would become easier for her to focus on things that made her sad; play into a sense of longing that dwelled at her core. The reasons always seemed to change - longing for home, for comfort. Her father, in his blustering way, had explained that it was simply the innate pull of their kind for a mate. Even solitary creatures like dragons needed companionship from time to time.

What Albus perhaps didn’t know was, even with the physical tugging that made it so hard for her to keep her hands to herself, that he was good company. That he whittled away at the worst of the loneliness - just the sound of his voice, looking up and knowing that he was there, his sheepish smile when he felt he’d overstepped his bounds.

The call of “Rider!” was enough to snap her out of her musing. That was another sign; easier to get lost in thought, for her body to easily react to the things that went through her brain. The next words from Albus caused her to blink slowly - her typical “surprised” reaction that was all together extremely reptilian. It wouldn’t do for someone of her strength, breeding, and image to be seen as having visible reactions.

“I hope he is well.” She stopped, turning to face him rather than the gates of the outpost. “I can look the other direction if you would prefer to keep this information private.”
 
Albus’s wan smile failed to disguise his inner turmoil. “Of course I want to keep it private, Taika, but not from you.”

Albus and his father had never gotten along. They were very different people. His father hadn’t approved of his going off to war, for example. He would have been more than happy to pay to hire mercenaries to cover House Chevalier’s responsibilities to the war effort so Albus could stay home. “That’s what being nobility is for,” he’d said. “The ability to pay your way out of danger, son.” Albus thought that was cowardice, but he’d had to sneak out of the estate to run off and join the knights to keep his father from using force to keep his “legacy” safe at home.

His father had, at least outwardly, accepted Albus’s profession, now. It would be false to say he understood it, though. At best, serving among the knights was a path to the kind of fame and glory that could be turned into further riches and political power, at least as far as Lord Chevalier could see it. At worst, it was a ticket to the cemetery.

Lord Chevalier had always been more concerned with reputation than with actual virtue, a fact that rankled Albus as soon as he was old enough to understand it. Once Albus had broken one of his mother’s porcelain serving vessels with a rock when he and Taika had been trying to see who could throw the farthest. Albus had confessed immediately, and his mother had forgiven him just as quickly. His father hadn’t. The part of that story that bothered Albus was that it wasn't the act that his father had been so angry about, but the confession. “Never show that kind of weakness again, son. A man doesn’t confess to anything.”

Albus shook his head, trying in vain to clear the memories. He could go back and forth wondering what was in the letter, or he could open it.

He took out his knife to cut the wax seal, and lifted the envelope’s flap. Inside was a single piece of House Chevalier stationery.

“My Dear Albus,

I have the most wonderful news. I have secured a betrothal for you with House Visserig. You are to wed their second daughter within the month. You could’ve wed the eldest if you were willing to give up your errantry, but your mother requests I limit my further comments on the subject. Still, this will provide our house with certain advantages I am willing to accept. You will be at the Visserig estate within the month, where we will attend your wedding. I trust you can obtain the proper attire on your way.

Lord Chevalier”

Albus handed the letter to his squire. “Well, he hasn’t lost his love for brevity.”

Albus was stunned. He’d known this would come someday, but he’d imagined it years away. The suddenness, and the contents of the letter itself were of a piece with his father’s style. Complaining about Albus, only giving the bare minimum information, dwelling on the political gains for himself, not even mentioning the girl’s name: all these things were surer signs than the handwriting and the wax seal that his father had penned the missive himself.

Truth be told, Albus was excited. He’d dreamt of marriage most of his life. It wasn’t just the prospect of finally having a morally acceptable, to him, outlet for his horniness. It was also the romance of lifelong companionship, true love, and mutual partnership. Albus Chevalier was a romantic, to the bone.

His expression alternated between a hopeful smile and nervous apprehension as his squire read the letter. “I’ve always wanted a wife. I just hope I like her.”
 
Taika’s face went from passive, to concerned, to worried - and then, at the very last, pale. The color change was drastic, even the golden hue of her skin lightened to a dull yellow. Her hands on the letter trembled so that the paper shook in her hands. Soundlessly, she handed it back to him.

To be married!

She couldn’t bring herself to look at his face; seeing the joy there would be enough to undo her where she stood. She tried to swallow; tried to ground herself. She’d been on the frontlines, staring down armies that dwarfed their own, come face to face with hostile, full-blooded dragons who thought her an aberration, she’d faced down her older sister after a prank had gone horribly wrong. But this was enough to knock the wind out of her and send the cold wind of fear through her body; tightening her stomach and her chest and her lungs so that even breathing wasn’t possible. She gasped, once, twice, quietly, as she did everything, forcing her body to inhale, exhale. She had to focus on something - the dirt beneath her feet, the solid ground that she wished so desperately would swallow her whole, like the fairy tales she’d loved so as a little girl.

“I..” The word was fumbling, shook the air that it took up. She had to try again; had to stamp down that rising tide of nausea. What could she do? What should she do?

Taika H’peta Amohanga - you are a half a dragon. You are half of the most spirited human you have ever met. You will not sit here and simper.

When she was finally able to meet his gaze, there was a small, unspeakably sad smile on her face, and those luminous golden eyes were all the more unearthly due to the tears that threatened to spill, “I am happy for you.” If there was an axe that would have severed her neck from her shoulders right then and there, a knife to gouge out her heart, it would have hurt less than making herself say those words. If she felt anything for him, she would have to set them aside - she didn’t matter. His happiness did.

But I’m not letting this go without a fight, she vowed to herself. Her Time drawing near be dammed; she was going to use the time back to tell him how she felt. So what if it threatened to expose her, to potentially end her career? She’d been wondering how long this was going to last anyway; and without Albus, there wasn’t much need to carry on the facade. She’d gotten to travel, learned how to battle with the best of them - what else could she do?

With hands that had ceased to tremble, and color leeching back into her face, she gracefully held the letter back out to him. “I suppose you’ll want to get moving right away.”

And after, then what?

Surely he would reject her; the fact that she’d hidden her true sex and feelings away from him, someone who leaned so heavily into the code of Knights, would unsettle him. He’d feel betrayed. He wouldn’t be likely to understand her reasoning; she hardly did sometimes, even on the best of days. But how to explain? With her father, riches were a given for her family. And the shop that her mother ran (and still insisted on running) passing into the hands of her capable elder sister, there seemed little place for Taika back at home, though she knew it’d pained her family that she left. If she went back home, life would be quieter, simpler. She’d have her own tract of land, her own home, the smiling faces of the villagers she'd known all of her life and readily accepted such a strange, mixed family into their midst. But if she chose to live as a dragon, among the others, she would be isolated - her being a squire would mean nothing to them. But she could prove herself hardily among them, perhaps amass her own hoard, maybe open a curio or magic shop, with enchanted items. Or sell anything that caught her fancy, or would appear a novelty to other dragons. There were options, she knew all of this as sure as the sun in the sky, but she also knew that all of them would pale without Albus by her side.

I’ve been an idiot. I could have told him ages ago, this could have been different, should have been different -

Yes, but what is beating yourself up now going to do? Absolutely nothing, she could hear her mother’s voice clear as day in her head. If you want him, go for him. And let nothing stand in your way. That’s how I got your father.

Tell him, you moron, chimed in the voice of her sister. At the thought of her stockier, elder sister slamming a face into her open palm, glowering down at Taika, her longer curved horns looking downright sinister, Taika couldn’t help but to let some actual joy slip into her smile.

How long was it on the road - however long, once she had a moment, she would tell him. And she’d figure it out from there.

"The sooner we get going, the sooner you can meet her," she offered, her normal, placid smile slipping back into place. "But in a marriage, there will be no place for a squire." The last was added with a knowing wave of her finger.
 
Albus couldn’t help but notice his friend pale after hearing the news, and he couldn’t imagine why, at least not until the last words Taika said to him. The poor man thought this meant the end of their time as knight and squire! The prospect shook Albus as well, but it simply wasn’t a necessary concern!

Albus put his hands on his friend’s arms. “Taika, no. You can see in the letter that I have made my position clear to my father, and he’s accepted it. Someday I will inherit his lands and title, and I’ll have to give up being a knight. That’s years, hopefully decades, from now, though. Until, then I will continue in the Order, and I will need a squire.” He squeezed the man’s lean, toned biceps. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, old friend.”

Albus released the half-dragon from his caring grip and looked at their horses. “We should move out, though. This meeting will delay our return to the rest of the men, significantly if it goes well enough the wedding gets scheduled early.”

Albus had trouble wiping the smile off his face as he gathered his pack and prepared Char for the ride. He was going to be married! He was going to meet the woman he would spend the rest of his life with! He would get to see breasts! He would get to kiss her! And hold hands! This was wonderful news.

Taika wasn’t entirely wrong about this changing their relationship, though. Albus would want to visit his wife occasionally, after all. He wasn’t sure how often. Perhaps a long courtship would help him determine that. They could write letters to each other! That would be so romantic!

After a quick goodbye to Corporal Jahl, Albus and Tika were riding south. The knight was so lost in thought that he almost didn’t notice that he and his squire were out of sight of the outpost, far enough south to see the mountain range slipping away to the west. They must’ve been riding for hours! He looked over at his squire, who seemed similarly lost in thought. He wanted to try again to reassure the man, but there would be time for that later. He wasn’t even really sure where House Visserig lands were. They would have to ask. Regardless, he knew not to push Taika too hard. The man would realize soon enough that Albus wouldn’t discard him. They’d been as inseparable as brothers since childhood, but Albus understood that it was easy to get lost in fear and doubt sometimes. He could be patient for his friend to cheer up. He wasn’t sure he could be patient for dinner, though.

“Taika! Shall we stop to eat?”
 
“Mm.” Came her measured response.

The meal, like the ride so far, was a quiet one. Though Albus tried his best to ease Taika’s mind, nothing he said registered. Taika was placid - her mind clearly somewhere else. In the middle of Albus’s attempt to engage her in conversation, he’d notice that she was staring out into space, her eyes registering on nothing. Times like this, it appeared that she was intently watching something that he couldn’t see; perhaps something that she was able to do given her heritage.

Hardly anything that lofty.

She was meditating. Trying to focus on the here and now, the sound of Boy’s breathing, the crackling of the fire, the food that she chewed without tasting. And, deeper still, she was plumbing the depths of her body with that particular acute sense that came as she grew closer to her Time. She’d heard stories before about how shocking events could speed up a Time coming; something that, in theory, was supposed to be a beneficial thing for a dragon’s survival. Whatever the event may be, by speeding up the Time, all hormones, all functions, could be dumped into compressing the Time from the standard week to a day. It would be more intense, it was told, and she would be incredibly vulnerable the entire time - little more than a slavering, drooling, hormonal mess, but after that day, things should be back to normal.

She hoped, at least.

It was all new ground - only read about, spoken about in passing. Her father had never been in such a situation, and her mother, well, her mother was human. What would she know? And as far as she knew, her sister never had anything that “shocked” her - or at least that’s how she would tell it. It would be her and her own wits; a leap of faith. And that’s how the next few days on the road passed; her quieter than usual, doing her best to hide signs of how her body was rapidly changing. When she was able to find the words, she explained, as simply as she could, that her Time was overtaking her, that she would fall to it sooner than she had anticipated, but that she would do her best to keep it under control.

By the third day on the road, she couldn’t hide it. To the unobserved, she seemed fine - but Albus would notice that she was sweating, that she gripped the reins of Boy until her knuckles turned white. Her breathing, when she was able to control it, was gasping. Her pupils, as the day went on, dilated, the pupils growing in their darkness, until her irises appeared thin rings of gold. Once night fell, she could not dismount from Boy fast enough, leaving Albus to tend the small campfire.

Gods, she felt like her entire body was on fire, a far cry from the cycles of flame and ice that had characterized the last few days. Her heart felt that it would pound out of her chest; smells were more intense. She could smell her own pheromones pouring from her, a beacon for other dragons and dragon-halfs, had they been in the area. Perhaps Albus would be able to smell it; a sweetening of the air, trailing behind her in long invisible plumes like the perfume of the nobility, twisting into nothingness. As she went, she had to get cooler, had to get rid of everything bogging her down. First the armor, then her shirt, then her pants - on and on, shedding layer after layer, clothing raining down like leaves on the breeze. Her skin was luminescent under the full moonlight, dusted with gold, darkened by her sweat, glowing from within from that heat coursing through her veins, twisting her stomach, tightening its hold on her lungs so that ever breath was a gasping one, everything screaming for her to breed, be breed, to be full, to give herself fully to the promise of pleasure, of being bonded, to experience that which she’d denied herself for too long.

It felt an eternity later, that the stars had moved from their fixed places in the sky overhead, when she was finally bare, her undergarments gleaming white on the forest floor, the short pantaloons she wore beneath her baggier pants damp with her arousal, completely sodden where they had touched against her lower lips. In her mad dash to lay down on the forest floor, her clawed fingers snagged her hair tie, snapping it, and her hair tumbled free, a curtain of flame colored foam about her shoulders, the corded locks falling to her mid-back, lost beneath her writhing body. Exposed to the air for the first time in what felt like eons, her breasts were heavy swells - as she moved to grasp them, their supple flesh filled her hands, bubbled over the tops of them in their full bounty, her deep brown nipples erect, firm nubs that teased her palms as she ran her hands over them, once, twice, mesmerized by the own feeling of her skin, smooth and sweat-cooled, the tautness of it reaffirming and mocking at the same time. This was her, she knew it, she could feel it, but who else would touch her like this, see her for who she was? In her lust-addled brain, it would be so easy to do as she’d done time and time again and before, imagine that it was Albus, his hands curious, but praiseful, marveling in the feel of her, in the fact that he was so close, she could balance the weight of his body easily atop hers, imagine herself lost in the crook of his neck, pressing her lips to the juncture of his shoulder and throat, tasting his sweat with long swipes of her tongue, and he’d be gentle, fumbling, maybe a little clumsy, but that would be okay; she could take her time and guide him, but the time for such patience wouldn’t be now.

In her fevered mind, there would be time for sweetness later, for him to fully explore her - now, though, would be the sweetest moment, when all inhibitions were finally dropped and the longing came to a head, when no amount of chivalry and rules were needed, even factored in, when it just came down to being men and women, and needing him - she gasped as she unceremoniously eased two fingers into her, there was no time for any other preamble, and besides, she was wet enough as was, wet enough to be audible to her own pointed ears, the heat of her body bleeding from the juncture of her thighs, and she twisted onto her side, not once stopping her fingers from slipping inside of her, exploring, probing, till finally, she was able to reach the spot that caused sparks to flicker behind her eyes, and she moaned, turning back to lay on her back, her hips arching to the sky, her tail and wings spread beneath her as she canted her hips further into her fingers, not caring at this point how loud she was. It was Albus in her mind, Albus taking her forcefully, without caring about her comfort, but using her as she was meant to be used, her body welcoming his, welcoming all that he would give her - it would be rough, careless, but truer than anything else, the first breaking of the ice, the first step in her finally admitting how she felt, maybe if she had one chance with him, one moment where they could leave their roles behind and no pretenses, she could get over it, she could truly see him off with a smile to his new fiancé’s house, and this night between them would be a secret, it would help her burn less -

“Albus,” she sighed into the night air, an open-mouthed pant as she writhed against her fingers, pushing them deeper, harder now, her other hand leaving the swell of her breast to play with the bud of her clit, the deep pink pearl of flesh easily visible from the pale pink of her entrance, the deeper brown of her cunt lips, contrasting against the tangle of brassy colored pubic hair that framed her sex.
 
Albus was not happy. He wanted to be. This trip should have had him feeling on top of the world. He was going to get married! Even beyond that, he’d been looking forward to the ride itself. That was part of why he’d agreed to their detour to the dorchalfe outpost. His and Taika’s rides together in the wilds of the continent had been his favorite times since joining the Order. They knew each other so well that it was like riding with another part of himself. They would hunt together, explore together, sleep next to each other, talk and laugh together: it was a real bonding experience. Well, Albus did most of the laughing, and almost all the talking, but his taciturn squire was no less pleasant for being quiet.

That first day, he’d been too distracted himself to notice anything wrong with Taika. His impending marriage was on his mind, as well as the more frustrating prospect of spending time with his father. They’d ridden until sundown, hunted quickly, and bedded for the night separately. Taika hadn’t wanted his warmth, which was surprising considering how close to the mountains they still were. Albus himself had even missed the extra warmth.

The second day, he’d noticed that Taika was distracted. He kept trying to talk to the man, but he wouldn’t be able to focus on his knight, staring off into space instead. It wasn’t unheard of for Taika not to reply to Albus. Sir Chevalier talked enough that not everything required a reply. He always listened, though. Eventually the knight was able to get out of him that his Time was approaching sooner than anticipated. It should have been weeks away, so Albus was concerned that it was now coming sooner. This was unprecedented, at least as far as Albus knew. He was by no means an expert on any half-dragon’s Time; not even Taika’s.

On the third day, he began to worry for his friend. The man looked like he was battling a fever. He was pale and warm, intensely focused on not falling from his horse. They rode in silence, Albus watching his friend in case he needed to catch him from falling. If his imminent Time was truly the only ailment he was suffering, it must be more intense than Albus had ever seen it. He was usually just a bit irritable up until it actually came upon him. Once it did, Albus usually just saw him leave to take care of himself. There was that one time he’d found Taika stroking his chest and rubbing their legs together, but it had been an isolated incident. If he was being honest with himself, Albus had enjoyed it. Taika’s Time must include some pheromones that influence the mind of those around him. Not that Albus’s mundane, human nose could sense them.

On the evening of the third day, they dismount for dinner, and Taika walks off without a word. Albus knew it had to be bad, then. He builds their campfire for the night, and then grabs his bow for dinner. He doesn’t range far from camp, so he’s only able to come back with a handful of squirrels and some wild vegetables. He assembles the stew in their pot and sets it over the fire, hoping the smell will draw Taika back. He’s looking forward to having his friend back. It usually takes less than an hour for the half-dragon to deal with his Time once it comes upon him, but by the time Albus has finished eating his stew and getting his bedroll ready, it’s been more than three. He lays down anyway and closes his eyes, tossing and turning before entering an uneasy sleep.

His dreams center on his squire, and they’re of the happy sort. Light-hearted conversations and jokes pass between them as they ride. In the middle of one such conversation, Taika turns to him and says his name. It’s not a fit for the context, and it makes Albus realize he’s dreaming. The second, louder time, it wakes him up.

“Albus.” The voice sounded out of breath and strained. The knight sat up with a gasp. His squire’s voice was coming from far away. His bedroll was empty. It was unlike Taika to be gone this long. Albus hesitated for a moment, knowing that Taika doesn’t want to be disturbed during his Time. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, however. This isn’t like any of the Times before. And, his voice had sounded distressed.

Albus stood up and walked out of camp, in the direction Taika had gone hours before. It didn’t take him long to hear grunts and heavy breaths. Taika must’ve been on his way back and gotten into some kind of fight. Albus took off, running now through the trees that ringed their camp. He found Taika’s armor on the ground, and then more of the squire’s clothing. He’d gotten caught out without it! The thought of his dear friend in danger sent adrenaline jolting through Albus’s system. He sprinted toward the sounds, rounding a bend to find a sight he had never imagined he would ever see.

Taika was alone, and naked, in the woods. More importantly, she was spread before him, touching herself. Albus’s brain felt stuck, unable to process the fact that his squire, his best friend, the man he’d spent more time with and felt closer to than anyone in the world, was a woman. Had he always been a woman? He must’ve been, but how? How had he kept it a secret? How had she kept it a secret?

“Taika?”

His question leaves his lips without a thought. A thousand other thoughts are flying through his mind, keeping it too busy to guide his tongue. Is this Taika? Has he been replaced by some kind of female doppelganger?

“You’re…”

God, she’s gorgeous. Her face makes more sense to him, now, somehow. The angles of her cheekbones and jawline coupled with the fullness of her lips and face had always made her look like feminine, but when Albus had thought she was a man there had been a disconnect in his mind that was resolved now. Now, he saw her for the true beauty she was. Her dragon half hadn’t made a tall, well-built man appear feminine; it had taken a beautiful woman and revealed her as fierce and powerful. More than either of those she was herself; she was Taika.

“How?”

He hadn’t moved since he stepped into view. He couldn’t! She had been touching herself when he walked in. The thought had always been one he didn’t like to dwell on. He knew “he” had been forced to indulge in that way by his unique biology, but Albus hadn’t wanted to think about it. Now he was thinking about it. Something about him didn’t want her to stop. Something inside him wanted to watch. He hated himself for the thought. This was Taika! This was his best friend! His boyhood playmate and knightly companion! How had he not known?!

“Why?”

God, she was gorgeous. Her breasts were full and round, soft globes of warm russet skin. He wanted to bathe in them. What was he thinking? How was he going to share camp with Taika anymore without thinking of her body? It was in that moment that all their past physical contact hit his mind like a runaway bull. They’d held each other at night, closely and regularly, for years. They’d had their arms and legs wrapped around each other. They’d had their hips pressed against each other! How had he failed to notice that he hadn’t felt anything external down there? Had Taika felt..him?? He had slapped her chest, four days ago! He had slapped a woman in the breast!

Everything about their relationship was now muddied. He was intrigued and horrified and excited and guilt-ridden and amused and scared and aroused and worried and more. Why hadn’t she said anything yet?

“I..”

Oh by the God above, why hadn’t she said anything yet. Taika was always the one Albus went to for advice, and he needed some now more than ever. How could she tell him what things were going to be like between them now?

God, she was gorgeous. But why hadn’t she said anything yet?
 
Had his name left her lips more than once? Entirely possible; she was past the point of focusing on anything other than her body. The waves she was riding crested higher and higher, and her hips undulated in time with them, her body serpentile. The edge of being human had been blunted, and there, on the ground, she appeared to be a snake coupling with another, her tail winding about her body, propping up one breast to let it drop, then doing the same motion to the other, her wings spread out beneath her as her breathing reached a heightened point, paused, caught, inhale, exhale sharply, her legs, wings, trembling as she pushed herself closer and closer, fingers working fervently, her neck arching back against the ground, and then, in a pregnant moment of stillness, it was all shattered, and she cried out, the sound between a wail of pleasure and sorrow, her brows knitting, drool trailing from the side of her mouth, her hips giving one last, final hard thrust into her fingers before her whole body fell, bonelessly, to the ground.

Laying there, trembling, it seemed only but a moment before her fingers in her heat withdrew - but those on her clit didn’t stop. It seemed that she had a few moments; she wrenched her eyes open, seeing and unseeing, through eyes clouded with lust and tears, of relief, of longing -

“Albus…” she panted, her brain flashing, struggling to invoke the Ego, struggling to find words and logic and civilization, but all of that was discarded in a flash, she had to stop herself from laughing at the sheer foolishness of even trying to bite this back, and why would she? It was so good, felt so good, finally felt like she was alive after days on the road, back to herself, back to who she wanted to be, and, had any sense still been with her, she would have been mortified at her next actions. Her right hand not stilling with the long, idle strokes of her clit, the fingers of her left slid slowly between her legs, pressing firmly down on the plump lips of her labia, and she spread herself before him, showing the pink of her core - oh, he was trying to speak, she had to listen - she was trying, she was, but it was foolish, oh, gods -

She was rolling onto her stomach now, her right hand beginning to rub more intently at her clit, “Albus…” It was a drawn out moan, begging, “You need to go…” She was gritting her teeth, and as she rolled onto all fours, her rear facing him, her sex was wide open to him again, dripping, cum already coating her inner thighs, and she was gushing, even as she moaned again, dropping to her chest, her rear higher still in the air, her tail arched over her back, welcoming, presenting her sex to him. With a low growl in her throat, she turned her head to the side, looking back at him. The face that greeted him was not the placid, calm beauty of androgyny, but the flushed cheeks of an eager whore, pleading for more, ravenous - combined with the slightly feral look of her nearly black eyes now, eyes that saw him less as Albus her Knight, and more of Albus the male, “You need to go,” she managed out again, between gritted teeth and sobs, “Before I ruin your vow.”

She could smell his arousal, the uncertainty of it, and it was intoxicating to her, was pulling her further and further away from anything that could have been reason. It had taken the last bit of her senses to warn him, and if he truly cared about his vow of chastity, he needed to leave. “Gods, I want you,” she whined, her right hand rougher now, “Please, leave, I can’t…” She sounded as if she were sobbing now, her breath hiccuping, before melting into another luxurious moan as her fingers were edging her towards something close to relief. Had she brought her leather toy with her? She couldn’t remember. She usually always kept it on her when she was on the road for times like this, the custom made, red leather beauty that she’d brought herself to heaven on several times, but she couldn’t remember if she had it. Surely she did. But what good would it do, with the real thing standing in front of her, with his longing so thick in the air that she could taste it? There was truly no comparison - and with another deep inhale, oh, Gods, she could smell him, and he was so delicious, how could he not know, “I can be gentle,” she purred now, “I can be soft, I can be..” Her words dissolved into a cry of pleasure as she rolled back to her back now, allowing for the ease of her left hand to slip a finger, then two inside of her, and then, those eyes, still fighting, the pupils contracted, showed a bit more gold, a returning of something, “Oh, god, Albus, you need to…” She couldn’t say any more; he either had to go, or she was going to take him.
 
Albus was frozen. Seeing Taika display herself for him, moan for him, and call out to him so soon after learning her true sex...it had scrambled his mind. He felt an inanimate pull toward her body. He had never seen the treasures any woman kept between her legs before, but he felt certain none could compare to what he saw this night. His virgin cock was straining out to reach her. It had never been this hard.

At the same time, he knew that he couldn’t give in to the primal tug of her body on his. He wanted to, though. By the God of his people, he wanted to rip his clothing from his body and run to her. He wanted to kiss every inch of her body, drinking in her copper skin. He wanted to lift and squeeze her full, plump breasts. He wanted to taste her. He wanted to present himself to her, to feel her touch on his own body. He wanted to do all the things with her that he’d never done with anyone.

But, even if he decided to forsake his vow, which he had not, this was not some tavern wench. This was Taika Amohanga. This was his best friend. They’d grown up together, even if she had lied to him that entire time, he knew not everything had been a lie. If he were going to lie with her, it couldn’t be like this. It couldn’t be in some forest by the side of the road. It couldn’t be rushed. Most importantly, it had to be when she was in her right mind.

He took a step backwards. It was the hardest step he’d ever taken in his life. The second was a bit easier. They kept getting easier until he was lying on his bedroll back at the camp. He still felt the pull, but it was manageable now. He could control himself. He could wait for her to explain herself, and then they could talk.

He certainly wasn’t sleeping that night; he knew that for sure. His raging erection wasn’t the only thing that would keep him up, but it probably would have done the job on its own if pressed.
 
Normally, at the end of her Time, there was a certain amount of…let’s say, “refreshment,” that she had. She glowed with contentment, as pleased as a fat cat in front of a never empty saucer of cream. The effects were temporary; she would be back to her usual self within a week. When they were on the road, the effect was lessened; there was more that she had to address with her hands instead of a willing male partner. All the same, she came off as well-rested, back in control, one might even say “jovial.”

That was not the case this morning.

To put it nicely, she looked rough.

Her brown skin was pale, the golden hue that so warmly covered it dulled to nearly invisible. The dulling of her “scales” was what really made her look so wan and ill - her hair mussed, her wings drooping, the tuft of feather light tan fur at the end of her tail tangled with debris from the forest floor. Her clothing was askew; signs that it had been carelessly, if not hastily, thrown on. She’d apparently had enough presence of mind to bind her breasts again, but there was no putting the genie back in the bottle.

As she staggered to the camp site, she stumbled with the footing of a drunk - more than once reaching out to steady herself against a tree trunk or to stop all together to catch her breath. For as awful as she looked, she felt a million times worse. Her head was throbbing, her sight was blurry, and she could barely put one foot in front of the other. The only saving grace was that her stomach felt settled; there would be no risk of vomiting ingloriously. But she ached all over, and felt profoundly, sorrowfully, empty. So much for the theory that the rushed Time would have been better for her survival; she couldn’t have run away or fought anyone in this state. All she wanted to do was find a cave and crawl into it - literally.

Her bedroll, untouched, felt like it was a thousand miles away. But she inched her way towards it, before flopping down on it unceremoniously, curling up in a fetal position, her hands over her head, mindlessly caressing her horns. Her mother used to do so when she was younger and upset, and the gesture still retained some comfort. She could feel the hot burn of tears prick the back of her eyelids, and she tried to bite them back.

She was falling apart.
 
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Albus woke late, after a night of tossing, turning, and thinking. He wondered if they should take the day and stay nearby. If Taika had missed half as much sleep as Albus did she would be in a poor state, and he knew he could use more rest.

She. It was so strange to think of her as a she, after all these years. Albus had so many questions, chief among them why he’d been lied to by his best friend for decades. When he sat up and saw her, shivering on her bedroll, he decided those questions could wait.

She looked ill, feverish. She was a shell of her normal self. She looked like she was about to shed her skin. Everything about last night could wait except taking care of his friend. He stood up and walked over to her, curled up on the cold, hard ground. Despite the sweat forming on her brown skin, she was cold to the touch. Albus picked his bedroll off the ground and shook the dirt and leaves off it before gently draping it over her.

He left camp, taking his bow with them. He intended to spiral out from the camp to keep an eye out for any wild animals, although he knew that even in her weakened state, Taika was the most dangerous predator around, save a full dragon. Even in that case he wasn’t sure who he’d bet on.

He came back a little over an hour later, with two rabbits and a groundhog slung over his back. His pack contained some white willow bark, yarrow root, a few cloves of star anise, a large clump of meadowsweet, and as many elderflowers as he could stuff into it. He had often wished he’d learned of those remedies from his mother, but the truth was she hadn’t taught him anything except what it looks like when a wife cowers in front of her overbearing husband. Today, though, Albus thought it fitting that Taika was the one who’d taught him about finding soothing herbs in the wilderness. He smiled at the thought that he could use that knowledge to help her. At least, he hoped it would help.

Taika had rolled onto her back while he was gone, but her eyes were shut. They looked clenched, like she was straining to keep them closed, but she didn’t respond when he spoke softly, so he assumed she was still asleep. Albus lit the fire again, pulling their large stew pot off his pack, and the smaller one of Taika’s for the tea. He also took all the garlic he’d found yesterday out of his pack. He’d meant it to last their entire trip, but garlic was good for fighting flus so he thought it would be worth it to add it to the meat stew, along with some onions, potatoes, and carrots. If Taika didn’t wake up from the smell, he was really going to be worried.

As soon as the tea had steeped for a few minutes, Albus took a cup of it off the heat to cool. Once he didn’t think it would burn her, he walked over to kneel next to her face on the ground. He was struck again by her beauty. How had he ever thought she was a man? Her strength was no masculine strength. The feminine fierceness of her half-dragon features was a promise fulfilled, he knew that. She would recover from whatever this was, but maybe Albus could make that recovery a bit faster and a bit more pleasant. He would certainly try.

Albus slipped a hand between her head and the thin bedroll, weaving his fingers into her wild, flame-colored hair. He lifted her head, just enough to avoid spilling the tea, and held it up for her lips to drink, careful not to burn her with too much at once. It didn’t smell great, but he knew from memory the taste was not bad, especially with the meadowsweet.
 
How was it that even after a bit of rest, she felt worse? She was shivering, cold, sweating; no matter how tightly she tried to curl in on herself, it was just getting worse. It felt like the worst parts of before her Time, with the waves of pain and heat and chill that rolled over her. And yet, she knew it wasn’t an actual cold, or a flu.

Maybe it’ll get better if you say something, anything, a little voice whispered. Think of how magic works. This is all in your heart, in your body. You’re stronger than this.

She heard Albus moving around, but couldn’t bring herself to summon up the strength to face him just yet. It didn’t help that the sunlight filtering through the trees felt like daggers in her eyes, and more than once, she hissed in pain and annoyance, trying to fold in more on herself. At one point, she’d rolled onto her stomach, drew her arms and legs in, draped her wings around herself, and her tail around that, like some odd turtle. It would have been humorous in any other situation. It proved only to be a temporary relief, however, and not too much longer she was uncoiled again, stretched out across her bedroll, under his…

She took in one deep breath, then another - Albus’s bedroll was redolent of him, and she nearly purred, curling into it, rubbing her cheek against it. Instantly, the pain in her body seemed to ease, wrapped up in that warm smell of his. She grasped the edge of his bedroll with careful fingers, rubbing her nose, her forehead, her cheek, against it, inhaling him, rubbing her own scent against it. The mingling of the two of them was a balm she didn’t know she needed - and by the time he’d come back with the tea (the smell of the stew had perked her nose as well, but it could wait, compared to the delicious fragrance of Albus), she was looking a bit more alert.

As he slipped his hand under her head, her eyes, open now, darted nervously to him - in a moment, unsure if she should allow such touch to continue or if she should run. The tea lifted to her lips, she cupped his hand in hers, tilting the cup further to her mouth, her left hand moving to prop her up. She drank, deeply, then, when she could drink no more, she moved her hand from his, and took in a deep breath.

“I love you,” she stammered, as if waking from a stupor. “I’m sorry,” she added, quietly. She was making a mess of things, but there probably wasn’t a better way to put anything. After all, as long as they’d known each other, Taika had been truthful.

Save, for, well, her gender.

Unable to look at his eyes now, she gripped his bedroll tightly between her hands. “I thought I was going to be okay when you got the letter, but the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t control it, but I’m still your Squire.” The last bit was said with resolution that she didn’t truly feel, and she forced herself to look at him. Her eyes, the pupils normal compared to the flare of last night, were lucid pools of gold, sincere and true. “I had to say something. And I know that the marriage will benefit your family, and it’s something that you’ve always wanted, since we were young,” she smiled a little, thinking of their youth. He’d looked to marriage for so long; she couldn’t have been bothered one way or the other. Spending this much time among human men left much to be desired, and before her Change, it wouldn’t have been out of character for her to say that she was never going to get married. She didn’t seem to have a romantic bone in her body, despite the many love letters she received from other women. “And I am not going to stand in the way of that.”

She let go of the bedroll, her courage both faltering and still managing to regain some steam. Somehow, saying the words, letting them actually take shape in the air, was a massive relief for her, instantly brought alleviation to the worst of her body’s pains. At this rate, she’d be back to functioning sooner than later. “I have no idea what to do,” she laughed, suddenly - and the sound was distant bells, feminine and low, far different from the occasional chuckle she’d let slip beneath her breath before. “Dad did say all of this cross-dressing was going to be a mess one way or the other,” and when she looked at Albus again, it was with such an open look of admiration and love that would have taken away the breath of a lesser man. “I will accompany you back to your father’s home, and then I will take my leave of you.”

Might as well speak the words now, get it out. She’d confessed, surely that had been enough, but she knew, deep down, her body knew as well, that it wasn’t. She wanted him to kiss her, wanted him to lay with her as he would his wife, but…no. She couldn’t tempt him.

Gods, this hurts.

She was still trying to smile, still trying to be strong, even though she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. He’d surely want nothing to do with her now. Why hadn’t she listened to her family, why did she do this? Some sense of adventure, wanting to know what lay out in the world, and now, now this - this thorn of love that she simply couldn’t remove. “I’m sorry,” she repeated again, “But if I keep looking at you, I’m going to have to kiss you. If you keep looking at me like this..." She could still feel his fingers buried deep within the thick clouds of her hair, longed for him to close the gap, to do anything, but, oh, if he'd just kiss her, if he could just take her there in the woods before he went back, it would make it so much easier, wouldn't it...?
 
Albus knew she didn’t love him. Not the way a woman loves a man. That was her Time talking. She was so dear to him, the idea that he could end up marrying his best friend instead of some stranger was a dangerous little hope to spark. Albus dismissed it. He should make it clear, though, that he knew she wasn’t serious. He didn’t want her to feel embarrassed later for making a false confession of love.

He gently pressed his hand to her cheek. “Oh, Taika, you don’t love me. You’re not in your right mind. We’ll fix that, don’t you worry. And you have nothing to apologize for. I can’t know exactly how hard this is for you, but I won’t underestimate it.”

Albus listened patiently to the rest of Taika’s speech. It was very sweet for her to be so concerned. He couldn’t care less about increasing his father’s prestige. All in all, his squire’s words were irrelevant to how Albus felt until she scared him to his core at the end.

“Take your leave!? No.” He shook his head. “We’ll straighten the rest out later, but let’s settle this now. As your knight I refuse to accept your resignation, Taika. You’ll be taking no leave.”

He didn’t wait for her reply. “Good, now that that’s settled let me get you some stew. I know I’m hungry.”
 
Her face creased as if she’d been stabbed. She’d finally been able to confess to him, to all of the feelings that had been bubbling inside of her for years, and he thought she was lying?!

Disbelief quickly crossed into temper, then into rage - she slapped his hand away. “No, you don’t understand! This isn’t my Time speaking,” she spat the word as if it burned her tongue, “This is me, this is Taika, your squire who has been with you since you were a child. I love you! I’ve been in love with you for years! I can’t stay by your side if you’re getting married feeling like this!”

By the end of it, she was yelling - it both startled her and somehow made her feel relief. Despite her being half-dragon, Taika was notoriously even-tempered; so much so that it was a running joke among other squires that she simply had no emotions. The reality was quite the opposite; she’d learned to master most of them at a young age. But this? No, there was no keeping this under wraps. She was furious, her nostrils flared, a slight lick of flame escaping from the corner of her mouth. And still, above all, angry tears still collected in her eyes, spilled down her cheeks. “You can dismiss all else about me, Albus, but do not dismiss my feelings.” The last said, firmly, trembling, thin ice over the river of her anger. She clenched her hands, unclenched them, when the bite of her nails into her palms got to be too much.

And what was she to do now? She was no longer hungry, could feel nothing but rolling anger in her stomach. Dimly, somewhere, she recognized the logic behind his words; that she’d been acting strangely since he’d gotten the letter, and such a mood swing now would do little to prove that she was speaking truly. But he had to know - he was her closest friend; how could he not know she was being truthful now, in such seriousness? What could she do?

You should just kiss him.

It would be the simplest way to get through to him, to let her feelings be known, but she couldn’t - he was still her knight, and she could not be the reason for him to break his vows, unless he wanted to with her. She couldn’t force anything. The fact that she hadn’t instantly pounced him, in the depths of the worst Time she’d ever experienced in her life, should have spoken volumes to how seriously she considered it.

But I have to do something.

So she did.

She grasped his shoulders in her hands, and forcibly turned him to face her. And stared into his eyes. They were clear, untrained by the mad lust that she’d shown him the night before. “I am in love with you,” she pronounced each word clearly, slowly, in her natural speaking voice, a dulcet low rasp, not entirely unlike her “masculine” tones that she’d adopted until recently. Her fingers gripped a bit tightly, though not uncomfortably, before she let him go, her hands falling away from his shoulders to rest by her side.

Now, in those stories that her sister was so fond of, would be when he would confess his love, take her into his arms and seal their affections with a kiss that could shake the stars from their fixed places. End of the story, close the book and start another one. Reality was much more awkward; she knew not of what else to say; felt that he wouldn’t approach her like a long desired one. There would be no love poems or chivalry from him, no kneeling, no kissing of the hand and being treated like a noble lady.
 
It had been a poorly planned and hastily executed construction project, this wall around Albus’s heart. He hadn’t seen the need until last night, but since then he’d quickly lain brick after brick of cold, hard stone in place to protect himself from despair and loss.

If he were to admit to himself that a handful of the bricks were made of concern for the opinions of others, he would be ashamed of it. It wasn’t fair to himself or to Taika to worry about what the other knights would say if he fell in love with his crossdressing squire. As much as he disapproved of his parents, he could shake the last vestiges of emotional investment in their opinions, either. It wasn’t right, but it was true. To his credit, if those had been his only bricks it would’ve been quite a pitiful wall indeed.

He had plenty of fear to work with. He’d wanted to be married his whole life, but he’d never found a worthy target for those attentions. He’d never had to put himself out there, to offer himself up for rejection. He was scared. What if he took Taika seriously? What if he decided he did love her and then she changed her mind the next day? If he were to walk through the gates at the Visserig estate and lay eyes on his betrothed only to be turn away as an ugly, uncouth toad, he could handle that. It would be a blow to his ego, but it wouldn’t break his heart. But Taika? Taika knew him better than anyone else on earth, often better than he knew himself. If she were to reject him, especially after giving him hope, he didn’t know what he would do. He would be a broken man.

The rest of the wall was simple, blunt denial. Surely Albus can be forgiven a bit of that? He’d only found out she was a she the night before. The idea that she would be in love with him, the idea that his best friend in the whole world was not only a stunning, beautiful, female work of art, but also in love with little old Albus Chevalier? Well, that was simply too much. It felt much safer to simply deny it.

All told, it was a fairly sturdy wall considering how recently it had been commissioned. But, was it strong enough to withstand the full rage and might of an attacking half-dragon?

No.

It wasn’t.

Thank God.

The first crack was easy. As soon as Taika said she couldn’t be his squire if he got married, it was an easy decision for Albus to decide to cancel his wedding. Damn his parents. Damn his house. Damn the Visserigs. Surely the young wooman was nice enough, but if it was putting Taika through this torture, and worse: taking her away from him, then damn her. He wasn’t getting married.

When she grabbed his shoulders, squeezing him as she told him in no uncertain terms that she was In. Love. With. Him. That brought the whole wall down.

He believed her. When she had been sweating and delirious, mumbling it almost in her sleep, that had been something he could dismiss. This? This impassioned, clearly spoken plea? That was a blast of fiery dragon’s breath on the battlements of his heart.

He also knew that he loved her back.

He reached out and softly lifted her hands in his. “I love you, too. I don’t have a speech prepared. In my defense I thought you were a man yesterday. I’m sorry...that I was afraid. I still feel a bit lost, but my wedding is cancelled, Taika Amohanga. Will you help me plan another?”
 
Wait, what?

She hadn’t expected that. She had expected to be thoroughly rejected, for Albus to have found another reason to reject her. But…he hadn’t. And her affections were returned. It was beyond her wildest dreams -

And she didn’t know what to do!

Should she laugh, should she cry, should she run to his arms? All of was how the stories were supposed to go, the key to happiness within. Should she explain herself? Maybe that would be the right way to go about it. Yeah - that was the ticket! To tell him why and the how of all of this, to make sure that it wasn’t some sort of illusion -

“Oh, I can’t marry you,” she responded, faster than her brain could keep up with her mouth. “If that was a proposal,” she hurriedly added. And then, as it dawned on her what she said - she realized…that she actually meant it. She didn’t WANT to get married. Not with what marriage entailed among his class. Sitting and sewing and ladies’s circles and bearing child after child until her womanly parts nearly fell out. “I love you, Albus, but I cannot live my life as a lady.” There, hopefully that made sense!

True, in their history together, she had never really understood why Albus so longed to be married. Maybe it was because he was a man, and he had more to benefit from it? The marriages of knights and lords was much different from what she was used to - her father being a dragon notwithstanding. She could understand political alliances, and the uses for them, but again, being from such a…unique household, she had learned quite early that as a woman, she would have been little more than a pawn in some elaborate game, had her father wanted to play it. With his immense wealth (for who had ever heard of such a thing as a ‘poor’ dragon?), he could have easily bought his way into a lordship, or, even beyond that, a kingdom of his own. He could have his own knights, fiefdom, lords, political alliances. But that was far too human for him, dragon relationships being blissfully uncomplicated compared to their human counterparts. Most dragons lived alone, and, according to their temperaments and territories, either harassed humans, ignored them, considered them a passing curiosity at best and pests at worst.

And her mother?

Well, she’d come from just as backwards of a place - a village of female warriors. A village, in fact, that had been deemed “pests” by previous dragons. It’d become a rite of passage for the most fearless warrior to slay a dragon and come back with its head and its boon. Her mother, eager to prove her merit, had gone on such a quest, and rather than come back with a head, came back several months pregnant, beaming, and with a besotted dragon for a husband.

That hadn’t gone over too well.

But, as Taika’s existence proved, there had been a happy ending for the two of them. And both parents brought their unique ways of seeing the world to their content family. Her elder sister, now married and with children of her own, was certainly a far cry from being a docile noblewoman. She’d followed in their mother’s footsteps and brought home a dragon husband who seemed more than content with her domineering personality, and fairly doted on their children more than a mother. He was the one who ruled the house - oversaw the accounts, mended clothing, tended to the children, cooked, while her sister ran the shop. Taika was a bit of an anomaly, as she was simply too curious for her own good, and given to much daydreaming. What had started as wanting to truly experience the world of a knight far away from her own, quiet, quaint little village where the fact that she was a dragon-half was just accepted, had turned into this.

She held up her hands, trying to figure out what to say next. She did love him, but a wife? Never. “As you know, I’m not chaste,” she continued, “and marrying me would not increase your family’s holdings.” It went without saying that, well, she wasn’t sure how well it’d go over that their son wanted not only to marry his squire (now new and improved female version!), but that she was a girl without any sort of title, and, well, a dragon half. In their travels, her mixed heritage had been treated with varying responses. And she’d never met Albus’s father - not truly, just in passing. And Albus had never met her family; they lived far away (a deliberate choice on her part), but them, she wasn’t too worried about.
 
Albus reeled. For just a moment, barely a breath’s length, he thought he had found something greater than he’d ever hoped for. He thought he’d found a way to marry his best friend, and they would be in love forever.

Now, he was confused. After everything she’d said, now she was rejecting him? Part of him wanted to build that wall right back up, but it was too late. He’d brought out his heart for her and for himself. The hopes he hadn’t dared to even think had been laid bare. He felt gutted.

Albus sat down, in the dirt, falling most of the way to the ground. It just didn’t make any sense. First she says she’s been in move with him for years, and then suddenly as soon as he starts loving her she suddenly doesn’t want to marry him?

He looks up into her eyes, his own wet with grief and heartbreak. “You...don’t...love me?”
 
“What? I didn’t say that at all!” So surprised was she that her tail darted straight out behind her, her wings flapping open. Embarrassed at yet another loss of composure, she cleared her throat, and willed her wings to settle back against her back, her tail firm on the ground.

Kneeling beside him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her wings following suite, to pull him close. She smelled still of that faint sweetness of her pheromones, of her furious masturbation before, the old smell of sex and desire, sweat and her. “Of course I love you, Albus. I’ve loved you for years. Didn’t you hear what I said?”

You know, he might be a bit sheltered.

The thought was like a bolt of lighting - and, thinking about the differences in their ages, experiences, and, well, life, she blinked, and settled back down, letting him go. But not without giving his throat a careful sniff, followed by an affectionate nuzzle. So she couldn’t kiss him. But there were other ways to express her affection - they might be more on the draconian side, but they were meant to reassure all the same. The nuzzle to his neck moved to full on brushing her cheek against his throat, her almost purring, a low rumble in her throat as she continued to rub on him, unknowingly jostling her chest against his arm. “I do love you, so very, very much,” she purred, now, trying her best to soothe him, her voice gentle against his ear, “But what does marriage really mean to you?”

She decided to take the forward approach and simply ask. Perhaps if she understood where he was coming from, she could make herself be understood as well. After all, their vows were completely different - she saw marriage differently, she’d taken no vow of chastity, and had little need for the riches of humans.
 
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Poor Albus thought his heart might go out. From confessing her love for him to rejecting his marriage proposal to nuzzling his neck while re-confessing her love, Taika was taking him for a ride in a runaway carriage. Not that he would have objected to that.

He didn’t want her to stop nuzzling his neck, but now that he knew she was female he didn’t feel like he could let her keep doing it. He gently nudged her head away from himself, but not before a low moan of satisfaction escaped his mouth. He hoped she could see in his eyes how much he hated the loss of contact.

Albus couldn't think why she would be asking him for a definition of marriage, but he thought for a moment and answered. “It means once you’ve stood up in front of a priest and promised to be together, then you’re together forever! That’s what I want! I want it to be forever!”

He paused, and then realized that she hadn’t really been asking for a definition. She was asking him what was important to him about marriage. “That’s part of it—the promise. Trusting that you’ll be together for the rest of your lives. It’s also about being together honorably. Being free to touch, to kiss, to do other things…” Blushing like a child, now, Albus almost couldn’t continue, but he managed. “It means making a new family. I won’t just be my father’s son anymore. I’ll have my own family with my wife.” He slowed down, worried again that he wasn't going to be able to persuade her. “Whoever that ends up being.”

Was there some part of that that she couldn't stomach doing with him? She’d said she wasn’t chaste. Did that mean she would want to move on to another lover after being with him? What did marriage mean to her?

“What does it mean to you?”
 
As he pushed her away, kind as it was, she whimpered like a kicked puppy. The contact had been so nice; like easing into the perfectly hot bath after a long day. And he smelled so good. She looked just as dejected as he did; maybe it was too much to hope that they could be physically close after the confession. But this wasn’t even a kiss! It was the same gesture that mother dragons often did to their young, or siblings between one another.

Then, she had a devious thought - if I tell him he’s insulting my draconic heritage, I bet he’d do it.

Just as soon as the thought came, shame chased it away and chastened her. That sounded like the sort of trickery her sister was known for. And she was better than that. Gathering up her will, she put space between them - enough so if there was another knight and squire, they could have sat comfortably between the two.

I have to be respectful of his vows, no matter how much I want to be close to him. You’ve waited this long, she reminded herself. And besides…it can’t be that easy. He’s a knight with all of those rules. Rules that at times, had amused her, but she’d accepted, because that was the life she’d signed up for with him. They seemed all silly now; completely counterintuitive to how men and women actually were.

But…

Maybe that was for a good thing. For even though the knights took their vows, many of those she had seen, squires too, were more like wolves and other beasts than men. For what she did not see with her own eyes and heard with her own ears, she was, unlike the others, privy to the words of the ladies of the night and other brothel workers - many, who, once they found out her true gender, were even happier to spend the night with her - indeed, who didn’t relish having a night off?

“But people get married, and they’re unhappy, and they’re bound together forever,” she gently said. It wasn’t meant to hurt; but to provide a counterpoint. “My parents were never officially married, not in your way, and they’re still together. They’ve had children, grandchildren, and they’re together forever.” She shifted, sitting properly with her legs folded under her, her tail wrapped around them, in a calming and all too familiar gesture, the one that meant that she was paying full attention, but what she was saying was of importance as well.

"Marriage, among your people, seems to be simply a tying down of resources, and of reproducing family lines. I will not give up my life of adventure just to stay at home and bear children until I grow old." Come to think about it, how did she actually feel about children? She’d never actually thought about it - and it had been quite a while since she saw her niece and nephew. The childbirth process, though - yikes. How could something so painful come out of something so pleasurable? Her sister had said it was worth it - but also hadn’t spared all of the gruesome details, at which her mother cackled and joined in. Apparently, her sister had had somewhat of an easier time of it - having simply birthed eggs, and not squirming offspring as her own mother had. “I’m still torn from cunt to ass!” Taika could remember her mother saying, “Those horns of yours were not pleasant!”

No small wonder that Taika had been put off of the whole thing.

“And yes, I am not chaste. I have lain with men, when my Time has become too much to bear.” It had only been a handful of times, before she had learned from those same ladies, in those same brothels, that leather workers could be convinced to use their skills to make other than the usual items. “But that has been a long time ago. I’ve had a leather worker make me a magnificent dildo,” she said, brightening. To speak of sex wasn’t taboo for her; it was another part of life, as simple as breathing. And since all of her previous sexual encounters had been borne out of a heat, she could be much more clinical about it. “I’ve been using that for the last few Times, and it’s not as nice as the real thing, but it works. The previous Times in that I’ve been with others, it’s been with other dragons.” The last part, she felt that she needed to add. “We tend to…find each other around that Time.” How to make it as simple as possible, and explain to someone the pull of biologics? How would her father explain it? “Simple words for simple ears,” was one of his favorite sayings, and it seemed appropriate here.

“Mmm, so,” and she folded her hands primly in her lap, as she was about to give a lecture on foraging for herbs, “When a dragon’s Time comes, we have to mate. Normally, what this means for dragons is that they find a mate, they reproduce, and then they either go their separate ways, leaving the mother to care for the young, or they stay together. It depends on the dragon. For most dragons that are in human form, it is more of a…nuisance than anything else. So luckily we can find each other through our pheromones, and we can lay with each other and get it out of our system.” Glancing at his face, she hummed thoughtfully, before she began again, “It addles the system - your whole body is telling you that you need to do one thing and one thing only,” it was a poor explanation, and barely scraped the surface of that overwhelming need, “And once you do it, you can start to think straight again. With other dragons, it’s nice, because it’s very business like, and no one gets emotionally attached. Sometimes we stay and talk about our travels, or other dragons that we may have met.” Though that was rare, too. Most dragons were not incredibly talkative, and there was an aloof coolness to the whole affair that was more mechanical than anything else. Of course, she’d long assumed that it was because she wasn’t bonded to any of her partners, and therefore incapable of feeling anything deeper.

“But I’ve not been truly bonded to anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Her gaze was clear as she looked at him, waiting patiently if he had any additional questions. She could understand his shyness about sex, as foolish as she thought it was at times - it was unnatural not to be curious about it, really, but she was going to have none of it. She was going to be as honest and as clear as possible. “Would you like to see the dildo? It’s really a lovely piece of workmanship, and I love the color,” she smiled now, though not salacious at all. “Though I doubt it could have helped last night.” Ah, the war elephant in the room - well, she would have to address it.
 
Albus didn’t have a ready response to her point about being bound in an unhappy marriage, but she moved on to describing her parents. The idea of being with someone, together in all the ways a husband and wife could be together, without marriage, was completely foreign to him. To Albus, marriage was just what being together meant. It was definitely what he’d had planned.

Could he be with Taika without marrying her? It would mean breaking his vow, and that thought made him almost reject it outright. Taika deserved to have him consider it, though. Plus, if anyone was worth breaking his vow for, it would be her.

Then, Taika was describing the way she saw marriage among humans. No wonder she didn't like the idea!

“Taika, no! I would never ask any wife of mine to live a life she doesn’t want to live. Never!” He stood up, almost angry at the thought, and then he realized why. “That’s what my parents have tried to get me to do. They didn’t want me to be a knight. I won't make that kind of demand of you, whether we’re ever married or not.” He sat back down, more deliberately this time. “To be honest, I didn’t realize it before, but the idea of a wife who would want to come with me on adventures is very appealing to me.” He blushed, looking over at his squire while she continued.

His blushed deepened when she kept talking about sex, for longer than Albus had ever heard someone talk about it. He didn't care about her past. That didn't mean he wanted to hear all the details. It made him smile to think that she hadn't been “bonded” to anyone, whatever that meant. “Dildo” was another word he was unfamiliar with. If it could help with her Time, maybe it was some kind of potion? Although that wouldn’t explain the involvement of a leather worker.

“I don’t know what a dildo is, or what it means to be bonded. Can you tell me?”

He liked listening to her talk. She was saying more right now than she usually did. Was she so quiet before because she was afraid he would hear femininity in her voice? He had always treasured her words, few as they were. Now that he heard them in her natural, musical voice, he never wanted her to stop. He was in danger of falling for her all over again.

Now that she had started explaining how she felt, hope was starting to bloom for him again. He wasn’t ready to give up on them being together. Maybe being bonded would be close enough to marriage that Albus wouldn’t feel like he was giving up on his vow.
 
She kept her posture the same as he stood up; exclaimed what he would and wouldn’t have a wife do. Curious, how you can spend so much time with someone, and still not know much about them. To be fair, however, marriage wasn’t a..typical conversation between the two of them, so the only thing that she knew for certain was that he desired it.

“So…what would you and your wife do, then, if she was not to stay at home and endlessly bear young?” Her curiosity was visibly peaked – there was a lifting of those pointed ears, though she remained in her calm, seating position.

Well, until he’d asked about her dildo. Then, she looked absolutely delighted. If her face could sparkle, it surely would have then. With the same measured grace he was used to seeing from her, she got to her feet, and went over to Boy. The horse, aware of his mistress’s bodily changes, was all too pleased to see her in good spirits, and nudged her shoulder with his broad head. She smiled at him, stopping in her rooting of her saddle bags to stroke his long nose, pressing her forehead to his briefly. Now, where was it? She’d made sure that it was “hidden,” though she knew Albus wouldn’t go digging through her items without a good reason. Ah, there it was – still wrapped securely in silk she’d procured at the same time.

When she turned to face Albus again, she was holding a bundle of rich purple silk, a fabric that would not have been out of place for a queen. She had bizarre little “shows” of her apparent wealth like that. Though she knew the value of a gold piece all too well, and was frugal to the point of miserliness, if one looked closely, they could see money in her details. The stiching on her simple shirts was ornate and with costly thread – the trappings of Boy’s harness, the fine leather etching of his saddle: all things that she either did herself, or paid handsomely to have done. It was not just for her own edification, but for Albus’s as well: a squire’s status being closely linked to his knight’s, by showing off subtle wealth and good breeding, she knew she raised Albus’s status as well.

“A dildo,” she said, as prim as a school teacher, “Is an object that’s shaped like a human male gentalia. Though I think that they can be the shape of others, too – I think lamia males have two penises.” The unspoken statement was eager; it was something she would be excited to find out for herself. “See?” She pulled back the rich fabric to reveal the dildo. True to what she said, the color was beautiful – a deep, oxblood red, and though she kept her distance from Albus, he could see that the leather was worn smooth and as supple as a pair of fine kid gloves. The etchings towards the top mimicked an erect uncircumsized glans, the foreskin pulled smoothly back. It was of a modest length, but the girth noticably swelled towards the base, distinctly non-human. She pointed at the swelling at the base, “This is closer to what some male dragons have. This part swells up, and locks you together. If you’re a bonded pair, it can take hours for the swelling to go down. If you’re not, then it’s fairly quick – about ten minutes. But this one slips right in, especially in the worst of my Time, and feels exquisite." That was putting it mildly - during her Time, just toying with her outer lips with the head of the dildo was enough to nearly make her cry in relief. How to explain how good it felt when she eased it in? Well, maybe one day she could show him? Since he knew she was a woman now, perhaps he could help with her Time - he wouldn't have to actually penetrate her, but he could use the dildo on her. There was an idea!

Oh, that’s right – he had asked about bonding. Now it was her turn to flush a bit – uncommon to the extreme with her. But as quickly as her coyness flitted across her face, it was gone. If she came anything close to “romantic,” explaining what Bonding was would probably be the closest to it. But how to explain, again, in simple terms? “The plainest way to explain what Bonding is is that it’s like human marriage, except on a deeper level. Dragons and humans have different anatomies,” (that much was clear), “And different reproductive methods. Bonding for dragons is rare, since they’re so solitary, but when they do it, they mate with one dragon and one dragon alone for the rest of their days.”
 
Albus was thinking about his answer to Taika’s question when she brought out her “dildo,” and those thoughts were set aside. When she described how it would enter her, he had trouble thinking about anything other than the image of her lovely lower lips being pushed aside by the thick leather instrument. He could see the likeness. The thickness and length looked correct to him.

The way Taika talked about sex, more freely than he’d heard her talk about much in the past, was a revelation to Albus. He was intrigued by the idea that Taika could teach him the ways of the bedroom. He was curious about all of it, but since he didn’t participate in the more ribald joking of the other knights, he had barely a hint of what to actually do. Stumbling on his squire the previous night had probably been the most sex education he’d had in his life.


He loved the idea of having a bulge on his penis that would trap him inside his wife. He thought that sounded so romantic! To be literally stuck together for hours! He was pretty sure his human cock didn’t have that, and he was a little disappointed. Taika’s description of bonding sounded wonderful to Albus. He really just wanted to be with her forever, and if she called it bonding instead of marriage, that was alright by him. He did want to see how much of the traditional trapping she would be comfortable with, however.

“Bonding sounds wonderful, Taika! What is the ceremony like? Is there a priest? Cake?”

He also remembered that she’d asked what he would want a wife to do with her time. “To answer your other question, I’d want my wife to spend her time largely how she’d like. If we were together, and you wanted to spend your time liberating oppressed peoples and defending villages from monsters and brigands, I would of course support you. As your husband, I would only ask that you allow me to accompany you.” He smiled, hoping she would see the sincerity in his voice.

Albus could understand why Taika didn’t like the style of living that most human wives seemed to. If she didn’t want to stay home and care for children, he had no intention of trying to persuade her otherwise. It was one of the curiosities of the world that most human wives decided to do that with their time. Albus agreed with Taika that exploring the world sounded more fun.

He also preferred a more openly affectionate marriage than most of the couples he’d spent time with. He wasn’t sure why so many of them seemed to want to hide their regard for each other. His parents were even cold and overcritical to each other when Albus was the only other person around. It didn’t make any sense to him, and whenever he got married he wanted to make sure he always treated his wife in such a way that no one could doubt his love.

Albus was beginning to dare to hope that he would be able to persuade Taika to see eye to eye with him on a life together. He was already quite attached to the idea.
 
She gave him a languid, slow blink: it was an utterly repilitian gesture, but he would recognize it as her expression of mild surprise. True, she was a bit freer with her emotions now, but since the worst of it seemed to be behind them, it was easier for her to slip into her “male” persona, which, to be fair, wasn’t much different from how she typically acted at home.

“Bonding…” probing the inside of her mouth with her tongue, she idly began to stroke the dildo through the silk. She hadn’t gotten up to replace it, and now with it in her lap, it was only natural for her to fiddle with it as she was trying to think of the right words. From the slow, measured movements of her hands, it was quite clear that she knew just how to handle a male member. “There isn’t a ceremony. It’s not that formal…” Her pointer finger caressed the head of the dildo, slowly, tracing the slit painstakingly carved into the leather. It really was a fine bit of craftsmanship.

“And I’m not sure if it would even really apply to me.” Her voice took on a distant tone as she combed through her memories. “With full-blooded dragons, they have glands here,” and she pointed to the crook of her neck, “That can be scented and marked. When they bond, they bite down on each other’s glands, and that tells other dragons that they’re bonded. It does something to their phermones, I think. Since I’m a dragon-half, I’m not sure if I even have that. And I don’t think all full-blooded dragons have it, either. There’s differences between the species. And I was away when my sister met her husband – we haven’t really spoken about the circumstances. But her husband’s a full dragon, so I don’t know. I suppose the next time I write home, I could always ask.” It was an off-handed remark; nothing that she thought too seriously about. In her times with dragons before, there had been no untoward sniffing – just a nudge at her neck to better scent her.

In speaking with Albus, she realized the gaps in her own knowledge, and was embarassed. Imagine, not knowing how her own species could reproduce! And of course she hadn’t thought of asking her mother or her sister – for one, she wasn’t eager to hear all of the details that both would have been all too happy to provide. “I…” her voice was a little halting, surprising for someone so typically self-assured, “I’ve never really thought of marriage, or having young ones. I just liked living in the moment, on the road with you, without much thought to my own future.” Saying it outloud suddenly made it clear to Taika – she hadn’t planned for a future at all. Every day with Albus was a new adventure, something fun right on the horizon. Her brows furrowed, and her ears twitched once – a sign of annoyance, though not at him, but at herself. “I didn’t think things would change,” softer now, her embarassment at her own short-sightedness clear, “I supposed at some point that you would get married, or do the things that knights typically do, but that seemed so far off that I never worried about it. And then when you got the letter, everything just…sped ahead.” Like she’d been living in a bubble of time, where every day was similar to the one before it in the sense that he was always there, and that she was truly happy. “And now I’m quite at a loss at what to do.”

Though her appearance was still messy from the night before and the fevered conversation earlier, the clearness of her eyes and the slight furrow of her brow indictated that she was thinking clearly, and rationally. Ever the tactician. “I never…thought that you’d love me the same way, or that I’d ever have an opportunity to say anything. And that was okay, for as long as we were together. But now, there is that marriage, and your family. And I do not want to cause any upheaval there.” That, she meant. Despite the distance between her family and herself, and her choice to be a squire, she was still incredibly close to them, and could not imagine living without them, or making them so upset that they’d disown her. “And your father is still expecting you and your squire. What will you do, Albus?”

Unfair, maybe, for her to put it back on him, but she had to snap him out of his romantic reverly, much as she had to do the same. If she had it her way, they would be doing other things with their mouths than talking. She needed to know how serious he was about all of this – marriage, especially to her, was so much more than what he simply thought it was, and now that her pragmatic brain was in gear, there would be no stopping that train of thought. “There’s property, land holdings, income, all of that to consider. We cannot wander all of the time; where would you want to call home?”
 
What would he do? He wanted to kiss her, that’s what he wanted to do. He wouldn’t, though, not until they were tied to each other, officially, one way or another. Even though the relationship he wanted with her was in no way traditional, something about the uncertainty in her eyes and her voice made Albus want to care for her in a traditional, masculine way. He wanted to take up arms against everything causing her fear and uncertainty, and cut a path for her to a happy life with him. He wanted to be strong and decisive for her. He wanted to be a man worthy of his strong and beautiful half-dragon squire.

His face was set in a confident expression for the first time since the day before. He took a deep, preparatory breath. He stood up, and strode boldly to his future love’s side. It made him so happy to bend down on one knee, like he was finally cast in the role he was meant to play.

“Taika Amohanga, I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. We can live in a hole in the ground for all I care, as long as you’re with me. If my father wants a son to marry a Visserig, he can conceive another. Property, land holdings, and income can go to hell. Call it what you want, do you love me and want to be with me forever?”
 
If she was given to stereotypically feminine displays, she’d be blushing and demure, perhaps coy – or maybe she would giggle and bounce a bit. Instead, seeing him down on one knee in front of her, she was…well, dazed.

“I hope this doesn’t mean that you’ll treat me any differently,” she suddenly blurted. Not the most romantic thing in the world, but something that had instantly nagged at her. She didn’t want to be a damsel in distress! She wanted to keep being a warrior by his side, a knight in her own right. And she hoped that his vows, now that she was a woman, meant that he would drastically change towards her. “Because I’m still the same person I was yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. If you can promise me that you’ll treat me the same, then…I’ll marry you.” The word, “marriage,” was strange in her mouth – she’d never thought that it would apply to her.

And though she knew she should be happy, over the moon, there was so much that needed to be figured out that it was hard for her to let go of her feelings. “I love you, Albus, but the moment you treat me differently is the day that we must part.” And though the words hurt to say, she meant them.

How strange it was. In the midst of the craze of her Time, she’d felt like all it would take was her admitting her feelings and everything would work itself out. And now, after the confession, she was realizing that it was quite the opposite: that there was suddenly so much more to consider that she’d never thought of. “I was happiest when I was by your side, as your squire,” she started, “When we’d camp, or go riding, or have practice together. When you talked a lot or when you didn’t say anything. And I don’t want that to ever change.” Now, she was on her knees in front of him, though she was still a bit taller than him. She took her hands in his, rubbed her thumbs across the tops of them. “And love is wonderful, but there are practical things in life that must be considered.” Unable to resist any more, though, she closed the gap between them, and lightly kissed his forehead. It was chaste, a kiss between dear friends.

Pulling back again, his hands still in hers, she smiled at him. “There’s a lot to be considered. One of which,” her grip lightly tightened – “Is how long you’ve been in love with me? Or has the sight of breasts temporarily maddened you?” There was light teasing there, but also seriousness. She’d loved him for years, but also knew of her true gender. The fact that he agreed to it, though it made her heart sing…something nagged at her. He’d seen her naked the night before, in quite the situation – and she was all too familiar with how virginal he was. Perhaps his mind had been a bit addled by the display. “I do not want you to profess love to me because you saw me naked,” she said, matter of factly.
 
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