zipman
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2002
- Posts
- 38,552
Since many people here don't even realize that Jews celebrate Christmas (which we call Channukah or Hannukah, it has a lot of spellings) I thought I would share some of our Holiday Traditions with you.
It all starts with buying the Channukah Bush. When all the Christians are done picking out there Christmas trees, several entrepreneurial Jews go out and perform a service for the whole Jewish Community.
They go out collect the stump and roots that you people wastefully leave behind, and then bring them back to secret locations in the city and sell them for a dollar or two.
Once you buy your Channukah Bush, you have to shake all the dirt out of the roots before you flip it upside down and decorate it.
Once that's been done, the whole family goes out for Chinese food and when we return, we gather around the Channukah Bush and tell the real Yuletide stories.
I can still remember how scared I was when my parents told me about Santa and how he travels around the world on Christmas Eve and steals all the bad Jewish babies and throws them in a big sack he slings over his shoulder! Christmas morning, Jewish kids are so happy to still be at home that we don't even care about getting presents for a few days.
http://www.noeticart.com/clipart/santac.gif
*shudders*
We also exchange gifts on December 28th, so we can take advantage of all the great post-Christmas sales, I mean, who wants to pay retail?
It all starts with buying the Channukah Bush. When all the Christians are done picking out there Christmas trees, several entrepreneurial Jews go out and perform a service for the whole Jewish Community.
They go out collect the stump and roots that you people wastefully leave behind, and then bring them back to secret locations in the city and sell them for a dollar or two.
Once you buy your Channukah Bush, you have to shake all the dirt out of the roots before you flip it upside down and decorate it.
Once that's been done, the whole family goes out for Chinese food and when we return, we gather around the Channukah Bush and tell the real Yuletide stories.
I can still remember how scared I was when my parents told me about Santa and how he travels around the world on Christmas Eve and steals all the bad Jewish babies and throws them in a big sack he slings over his shoulder! Christmas morning, Jewish kids are so happy to still be at home that we don't even care about getting presents for a few days.
http://www.noeticart.com/clipart/santac.gif
*shudders*
We also exchange gifts on December 28th, so we can take advantage of all the great post-Christmas sales, I mean, who wants to pay retail?
