A Hypothetical: Dominants with bad taste

[Krinaia]

Today, I had an interesting line of thought.... based mainly on my love of a show called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" - Sometimes, people just have bad taste. Or worse, just don't know how to dress themselves fashionable and effectively (for their body shape/size).

So here's my hypothetical situation:

You're a submissive female and you love and admire your dominant very much. And let's say you're a professional. It's important that you appear so - and it would be nice if your mate also appeared so. And that you and your dominant often go out in vanilla circles. He often is introduced to other professionals in your field. But here's the problem, your dominant is in serious need of fashion advice. When you're at home - he dictates you either be naked or in some piece of lingerie he's selected for you except for on the rare occasions he has you commando under a pair of jeans paired with a sweater or tshirt. You wouldn't, as a submissive, presume to set clothing out for your dominant - even though he desperately needs the help.

How would you approach him about it? Would it take more tact than a woman in the same position that was vanilla?

But let's take it even one step further - let's pretend that you, the female submissive - act as his date when you go to work functions of his. And you notice he is out of place fashion wise in his own environment.

I'm going to say this - it isn't that this hypothetical dominant has peculiar tastes - let's say, wears only black and prefers only blue socks (having a horrible aversion to black socks) - and its no that he's a harley type of guy - he simply just looks perhaps slovenly or ten years out of date or overly casual.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Today, I had an interesting line of thought.... based mainly on my love of a show called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" - Sometimes, people just have bad taste. Or worse, just don't know how to dress themselves fashionable and effectively (for their body shape/size).

So here's my hypothetical situation:

You're a submissive female and you love and admire your dominant very much. And let's say you're a professional. It's important that you appear so - and it would be nice if your mate also appeared so. And that you and your dominant often go out in vanilla circles. He often is introduced to other professionals in your field. But here's the problem, your dominant is in serious need of fashion advice. When you're at home - he dictates you either be naked or in some piece of lingerie he's selected for you except for on the rare occasions he has you commando under a pair of jeans paired with a sweater or tshirt. You wouldn't, as a submissive, presume to set clothing out for your dominant - even though he desperately needs the help.

How would you approach him about it? Would it take more tact than a woman in the same position that was vanilla?

But let's take it even one step further - let's pretend that you, the female submissive - act as his date when you go to work functions of his. And you notice he is out of place fashion wise in his own environment.

I'm going to say this - it isn't that this hypothetical dominant has peculiar tastes - let's say, wears only black and prefers only blue socks (having a horrible aversion to black socks) - and its no that he's a harley type of guy - he simply just looks perhaps slovenly or ten years out of date or overly casual.

There should be no reason why you cant tell him honestly what you think. I think he would like your honestly more then you feeling uncomfortable.

 

[Krinaia]

it would be interesting to hear the opinion of a dominant male or female...

 

[PhilFantasy]

Reply

You could perhaps try a line like - "Master would exude so much more power dressed in this... / such & such a look "...

If he dressed up for games, maybe he'd get used to a new look & enjoy it.

Put it this way - I too am scruffy 'image wise' - but I do feel great wearing a suit. ie - collar & tie, trousers ( not jeans ) - polished shoes etc... Tie pins are also cool. Braces with buttons & waistcoats ( an 'olden days' look ) are also great too - and that one can be worn , mixed / matched with modern casual as well - to smarten up even the scruffiest of hippies - myself included.

The problem is finding an excuse to wear a suit ( apart from funerals & weddings... )

So you see that someone might like a certain look - but needs a reason to 'don it', as it were, otherwise he might feel like he's just a poseur....

Well, that's my ten cents worth, hope it's useful in some way.

Philo

 

[Krinaia]

Re: Reply

You could perhaps try a line like - "Master would exude so much more power dressed in this... / such & such a look "...

If he dressed up for games, maybe he'd get used to a new look & enjoy it.

Put it this way - I too am scruffy 'image wise' - but I do feel great wearing a suit. ie - collar & tie, trousers ( not jeans ) - polished shoes etc... Tie pins are also cool. Braces with buttons & waistcoats ( an 'olden days' look ) are also great too - and that one can be worn , mixed / matched with modern casual as well - to smarten up even the scruffiest of hippies - myself included.

The problem is finding an excuse to wear a suit ( apart from funerals & weddings... )

So you see that someone might like a certain look - but needs a reason to 'don it', as it were, otherwise he might feel like he's just a poseur....

Well, that's my ten cents worth, hope it's useful in some way.

Philo

I think so... this is the sort of reply I was hoping for.... one that might arm me with suggestions for tactful ways of approaching the subject should it ever arise for me.

I know that having my clothes chosen for me and then doning them can be a way to express my submission - and it just occured to me that it can also be an act of my submission and service - to pick out clothing for my dominant if he orders it. I guess your line "Master would exude..." is no different in theory to my encouragement to vanilla friends when they wear something that really makes them look good.

... but now I'm curious as to how I could make choosing his clothing an act of my submission to him...

 

[TigerClaw]

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[Krinaia]

Re: hmmmm

Being that I want a sub not a slave there has to be times where you can talk openly and honestly. I should think a slave/master has to have some time to talk also.

I would be honored to listen to her. If she cares how I look at work, parties, or just going out I feel she is showing how much she cares.

I'm glad you feel that way.


But what if the dominant is just seriously stuck in the 80s or something? He's got this pair of stone washed jeans - the kind that have been nastily bleached and that you can buy only at GoodWill. Oh and let's not leave out that nasty mullet... that surrounds his balding head.

And you just want to slip him into a pair of dockers and shave his head - he does have a beautifully shaped head. He could have this sexy Yul Brenner thing going on if only he would lose the mullet.

You love him but the way he dresses sometimes makes you shuuder and not in desire.

But he likes the way he dresses. He thinks it's fine.

What then?

 

[TigerClaw]

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[PhilFantasy]

Expansion

Well, you could always do a Gollum ( from Lord of the Rings ) - 'anything to please Master'... ( That's all about 'Power' - if you haven't seen it - which he is into doing by part 2 - 'The Two Towers'... )

Anyway, you could try "look what I bought to please Master..."

"I can always take them back, if Master is not happy..."

He sounds like he won't be into any changes overnight - he might slowly warm to it, but won't admit to liking anything new initially. That's the impression I get at least.

Also, it might help if somehow you make it all look like his idea.

Peace,
philo

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: Expansion

Well, you could always do a Gollum ( from Lord of the Rings ) - 'anything to please Master'... ( That's all about 'Power' - if you haven't seen it - which he is into doing by part 2 - 'The Two Towers'... )

Anyway, you could try "look what I bought to please Master..."

"I can always take them back, if Master is not happy..."

He sounds like he won't be into any changes overnight - he might slowly warm to it, but won't admit to liking anything new initially. That's the impression I get at least.

Also, it might help if somehow you make it all look like his idea.

Peace,
philo

too phony...and he would know it...only my opinion. i believe in just coming out with the truth no matter what happens. A Master can not get angry with a sub/slave for sitting down and being honest, isnt that what he would want her to do in the first place?

 

[ownedsubgal]

i personally wouldn't feel it my place to suggest, no matter how tactfully or politely, that he should change the way he dress in the least bit. after all, i am assuming you are talking about an adult male. He is dressing the way he likes to/is comfortable with dressing. maybe he's totally fine and cozy with being dressed in khaki shorts and a camoflauge pullover while everyone else is in business attire. if anything, i would admire a man with such confidence and it would add to his appeal. the last sort of person i would wish to be with is a follower. the way a person dresses is usually a part of who they are...change the clothes, you have a different person, or someone trying to pretend they're someone they're not...and how is that desireable?

 

[PhilFantasy]

explanation

mmmmm.... in an ideal world - yes. But - she has to be tactful, at best she might change his clothing tastes, for 'work/professional' outings - but I don't think he will ever get rid of the mullet, while he still has enough hair. That look is not so bad anyway - if he used hair gel and greased it back or something.

It's this whole '80's look that he has to lose - surely that all went out with 'Miama Vice' ? ha ha

Anyway - the Gollum scenario was completely exaggarated - the lady is wise enough to be much more subtle than a word of word translation of what I suggested earlier.

 

[Kajira Callista]

i personally wouldn't feel it my place to suggest, no matter how tactfully or politely, that he should change the way he dress in the least bit. after all, i am assuming you are talking about an adult male. He is dressing the way he likes to/is comfortable with dressing. maybe he's totally fine and cozy with being dressed in khaki shorts and a camoflauge pullover while everyone else is in business attire. if anything, i would admire a man with such confidence and it would add to his appeal. the last sort of person i would wish to be with is a follower. the way a person dresses is usually a part of who they are...change the clothes, you have a different person, or someone trying to pretend they're someone they're not...and how is that desireable?

Since this is all hypothetical anyway...suppose that he just didnt realize, and you knew it mattered to him ( that was my thought process when i was giving my opinion). would you tell him?

 

[TigerClaw]

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[WriterDom]

I'm sure I could use a queer makeover. If I would enjoy it, that is another question.

 

[Rantalith]

Today, I had an interesting line of thought.... based mainly on my love of a show called "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" - Sometimes, people just have bad taste. Or worse, just don't know how to dress themselves fashionable and effectively (for their body shape/size).

So here's my hypothetical situation:

You're a submissive female and you love and admire your dominant very much. And let's say you're a professional. It's important that you appear so - and it would be nice if your mate also appeared so. And that you and your dominant often go out in vanilla circles. He often is introduced to other professionals in your field. But here's the problem, your dominant is in serious need of fashion advice. When you're at home - he dictates you either be naked or in some piece of lingerie he's selected for you except for on the rare occasions he has you commando under a pair of jeans paired with a sweater or tshirt. You wouldn't, as a submissive, presume to set clothing out for your dominant - even though he desperately needs the help.

How would you approach him about it? Would it take more tact than a woman in the same position that was vanilla?

But let's take it even one step further - let's pretend that you, the female submissive - act as his date when you go to work functions of his. And you notice he is out of place fashion wise in his own environment.

I'm going to say this - it isn't that this hypothetical dominant has peculiar tastes - let's say, wears only black and prefers only blue socks (having a horrible aversion to black socks) - and its no that he's a harley type of guy - he simply just looks perhaps slovenly or ten years out of date or overly casual.

As a Dom who needs to dress professionally, I would appreciate my sub pointing out that my attair might be out of date, or that I am not color coordinated.
I had one sub who did this, as at the time I was not coordinated in what I wore. I thought that a suit was a suit was a suit. I have since learned that drak blue and black never go out of style.
I know that it took a lot of courage for my sub to point this out to me. I was never more proud of her for speaking up, when she knew it might upset me.
I now go to a professional tailor and have all my suits made for me. This helps in the coordination and style issue.

 

[Krinaia]

i personally wouldn't feel it my place to suggest, no matter how tactfully or politely, that he should change the way he dress in the least bit. after all, i am assuming you are talking about an adult male. He is dressing the way he likes to/is comfortable with dressing. maybe he's totally fine and cozy with being dressed in khaki shorts and a camoflauge pullover while everyone else is in business attire. if anything, i would admire a man with such confidence and it would add to his appeal. the last sort of person i would wish to be with is a follower. the way a person dresses is usually a part of who they are...change the clothes, you have a different person, or someone trying to pretend they're someone they're not...and how is that desireable?

I think what you said has a very legitimate place. But I was curious in a situation that was more of a submissive/dominant relationship than a master/slave relationship. Correct me if I'm wrong - you consider yourself a slave? Please do tell me if I am assessing the situation incorrectly.

I don't think I would want to change him - just help him clean up his image a little. I'm not saying he can't wear his grubby tshirts around the house. I would never presume to do that. I'm just talking about what he wears in public where I (hypothetically) would be seen with him. There are ways to update and clean up any look - gothic, hippie, preppie, business man, biker - without endangering the personality expressed therein.

My question or concern is how, as a sub - do you go about doing that? Obviously, talking - is one option as KC has suggested. But I think there are more ways to consider.

For example: He loves his harleys. He loves his beard. He loves his grizzly bear tshirts. And truth be told, other businessmen or CEOs might own a harley and see him and think, wow, i bet I would enjoy doing business with this guy. But if He has allowed his beard to get scruffy, his jeans to get outdated. His shoes look like he's been wearing them since he was 18. Well its obvious to me there are a million small ways I can help. Most of them more vanilla - like simply replacing some of the tshirts, buying him new shoes, polishing his new shoes.

... but others might be more bdsm style - such as offering to take over his grooming. I might learn how to properly barber his beard to keep it trim and neat. Or washing his long hair and conditioning it so that his braid is lusterous and beautiful, not scraggily, full of split ends and all together just not so pleasant.

 

[Krinaia]

Re: Re: A Hypothetical: Dominants with bad taste

As a Dom who needs to dress professionally, I would appreciate my sub pointing out that my attair might be out of date, or that I am not color coordinated.
I had one sub who did this, as at the time I was not coordinated in what I wore. I thought that a suit was a suit was a suit. I have since learned that drak blue and black never go out of style.
I know that it took a lot of courage for my sub to point this out to me. I was never more proud of her for speaking up, when she knew it might upset me.
I now go to a professional tailor and have all my suits made for me. This helps in the coordination and style issue.

Thank you for sharing. I don't think our society did well with informing men of fashion - especially with so few male role models who managed to be manly and yet oh so mod! (John Travolta, Richard Gere come to mind) - but perhaps I have just missed them in my attention to female fashion.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

I expect my sub to speak up in this type of matter. Especially since I pick those with a great sense of style and taste. One of my "rules" is that she makes certain I am dressed my best. Typically, I will ask her advice as I purchase new clothes so as to ensure that I don't look bad.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Since this is all hypothetical anyway...suppose that he just didnt realize, and you knew it mattered to him ( that was my thought process when i was giving my opinion). would you tell him?

well it's one thing if he dressed shabbily and simply didn't care...if he was the sort of person to always be comfortable regardless of his attire, who got his comfort from somewhere within instead. that to me would be admirable. on the other hand, if he just didn't know how to dress himself decently (to him, not to anyone else), and actually desired to "learn" how to dress, well then that's a whole other issue altogether. as i said, i assumed the question was in reference to an adult male...i.e. a Man. and a man should know how to put on clothes, should know at least the very basics of color and pattern coordination (assuming he has the priviledge of eyesight). if he's simply clueless, then imo he hasn't grown up yet and wouldn't be someone i'd desire to spend time with in the first place.

i can't imagine Daddy needing my help in order to put together a decent or appropriate outift. sometimes he might ask me to choose between two different ties to wear with a particular shirt, little things like that, but it's not because he's incapable of putting it together himself. i guess i was viewing the question in reference to a man who just didn't dress in a way the submissive cares for, or that made her personally uncomfortable (and not him uncomfy with himself).

 

[Krinaia]

I expect my sub to speak up in this type of matter. Especially since I pick those with a great sense of style and taste. One of my "rules" is that she makes certain I am dressed my best. Typically, I will ask her advice as I purchase new clothes so as to ensure that I don't look bad.

- be careful though - letting a lawyer make fashion choices for an architect! Who ever heard of such a crazy thing.

I think some of the men in our discpline are the best dressed - and the profession allows for a lot personality.



I'm curious about an earlier post ... how would you Doms or even Dommes feel starting a scene in your power suit?

 

[Rantalith]

For example: He loves his harleys. He loves his beard. He loves his grizzly bear tshirts. And truth be told, other businessmen or CEOs might own a harley and see him and think, wow, i bet I would enjoy doing business with this guy. But if He has allowed his beard to get scruffy, his jeans to get outdated. His shoes look like he's been wearing them since he was 18. Well its obvious to me there are a million small ways I can help. Most of them more vanilla - like simply replacing some of the tshirts, buying him new shoes, polishing his new shoes.

I ride Harleys and I am an executive. Granted I own my own business, however I do enteract with other executives and they do not think that I am out of style. They do know that I ride Harleys and it does not bother them.
Now that I have mt suits tailored, I do not have worry about it. Some of the executives knew me before I had my suits tailored and say I have a better image now.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

- be careful though - letting a lawyer make fashion choices for an architect! Who ever heard of such a crazy thing.

I think some of the men in our discpline are the best dressed - and the profession allows for a lot personality.



I'm curious about an earlier post ... how would you Doms or even Dommes feel starting a scene in your power suit?

Ah, but profession does not make for a good dresser... yes we have architects that can dress wonderfully, but we still have those that you shudder when you see them.

As for starting the scene in my power suit, why not? It exudes "Power and Dominance" what is fun is starting the scene with her in her power suit, only to strip the layers away, revealing the corset and stockings, as I strip the responsibility away and remind her of her place in my presence....


editied for stupid spelling and grammar mistakes

 

[ownedsubgal]

I think what you said has a very legitimate place. But I was curious in a situation that was more of a submissive/dominant relationship than a master/slave relationship. Correct me if I'm wrong - you consider yourself a slave? Please do tell me if I am assessing the situation incorrectly.

I don't think I would want to change him - just help him clean up his image a little. I'm not saying he can't wear his grubby tshirts around the house. I would never presume to do that. I'm just talking about what he wears in public where I (hypothetically) would be seen with him. There are ways to update and clean up any look - gothic, hippie, preppie, business man, biker - without endangering the personality expressed therein.

My question or concern is how, as a sub - do you go about doing that? Obviously, talking - is one option as KC has suggested. But I think there are more ways to consider.

For example: He loves his harleys. He loves his beard. He loves his grizzly bear tshirts. And truth be told, other businessmen or CEOs might own a harley and see him and think, wow, i bet I would enjoy doing business with this guy. But if He has allowed his beard to get scruffy, his jeans to get outdated. His shoes look like he's been wearing them since he was 18. Well its obvious to me there are a million small ways I can help. Most of them more vanilla - like simply replacing some of the tshirts, buying him new shoes, polishing his new shoes.

... but others might be more bdsm style - such as offering to take over his grooming. I might learn how to properly barber his beard to keep it trim and neat. Or washing his long hair and conditioning it so that his braid is lusterous and beautiful, not scraggily, full of split ends and all together just not so pleasant.

true i am a slave, but i am a submissive also (smile)...and was answering the question from the point of view of a submissive to any Dominant, or any man for that matter, and not necessarily the man who owns me. if he's uncomfortable with the way he looks, and feels he needs help, well as i stated in my last post that would signal other undesirable issues to me personally, but i would suppose that would be a case where it's appropriate to make suggestions since he actually wants help. however if he hasn't expressed any discomfort or insecurity with himself, then i would let it be. so what if he has split ends, if his jeans are out of fashion, if the shoes are old and scruffy. if he's comfortable with it, you should be comfy with it too.

i will tell you something about Daddy...for some reason i will probably never understand, he absolutely will not shave with anything but a sharp razor, and some warm water. meaning, he doesn't use shaving gel, foam, cream, whatever. He says it's unnecessary. i think he might find it girlie or something, i don't know. but he won't touch the stuff. and it used to kill me to watch him shave, to hear that crunch of hairs against his naked skin. it looked so painful to me. i just KNEW he had to be irritating his skin, and i also had the selfish, totally superficial fear of him possibily causing some unattractive skin issues by shaving in that way. so i would offer to get him all these top of the line shaving gels and things, try and explain to him the purpose for them, tried to convince how much more comfy it would be to shave over foam instead of bare delicate skin. i think i might have mentioned it twice in all...til Daddy made it clear to me, he has always shaved with just a razor and water, he's totally comfortable with shaving with just a razor and water (he assured me, it doesn't hurt), and it's not a practice he ever intends to change, not for a single day. and truth be told, his skin is still nice and smooth and smoochable despite my stupid old fears hehe. but the point is, he was comfortable as he was, and i felt like a complete idiot, insubordinate so-and-so for assuming he wasn't.

if he's happy as is, that should be enough.

 

[TigerClaw]

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