DannyBoyUK
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Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A: A tattoo.
A: A tattoo.
A huge amount of musician jokes, well riddles actually
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DannyBoyUK
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Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: "The Defendant"
A: "The Defendant"
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What do you call a drunk drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: "The Acquitted"
A: "The Acquitted"
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What do clarinetists use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
A: Their personalities.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?
A: Saliva.
A: Saliva.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
A: Homeless.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.
A: It saves time in the long run.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?
A: About three decibels.
A: About three decibels.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What's the latest crime wave in New York City?
A: Drive-by trombone solos.
A: Drive-by trombone solos.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What's the definition of a minor second interval?
A: Two Soprano Sax players reading off the same part.
A: Two Soprano Sax players reading off the same part.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind driven, manually operated, pitch approximator.
A: A wind driven, manually operated, pitch approximator.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: How do you get an oboist to play A flat?
A: Take the batteries out of his electronic tuner.
A: Take the batteries out of his electronic tuner.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone?
A: On or off.
A: On or off.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?
A: A bad oboist can kill you.
A: A bad oboist can kill you.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in the handicapped zones.
A: So they can park in the handicapped zones.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What's the difference between an opera singer and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.
A: Lipstick.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: Why do people play trombone?
A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time.
A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: How does a violist's brain cell die?
A: Alone.
A: Alone.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A: A music critic.
A: A music critic.
DannyBoyUK
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Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.
A: Put it in a viola case.
ksmybuttons
Push and Pull
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How can you tell if the stage is level?
The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
How can you tell a banjo player is at the door?
He keeps knocking faster and faster and can't figure out when to come in.
What has 12 legs and 3 teeth?
The front row at a banjo workshop.
The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
How can you tell a banjo player is at the door?
He keeps knocking faster and faster and can't figure out when to come in.
What has 12 legs and 3 teeth?
The front row at a banjo workshop.
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