A Hint of Incest?

[sirhugs]

I put my Earth Day story Old Porch Swing in Group Sex on purpose. Without spoiling the plot, daughter comes upon Dad and her hubby (the narrator) ogling the neighbour's housekeper. Fourway sex follows. I carefully (I hope) build the 'will they or won't they Dad/daughter tension, but intentionally veer short of incest.

Despite this, several good author types complained about a 'hint of incest' ruining their read.

I thought I explored the option, and the not quite revulsion, the hesitancy, on that boundary, but the word 'hint' tossed me.

Comments appreciated.

 

[robincr]

deleted

 

[sirhugs]

A "hint" of BDSM ruins a read for me. I'm completley turned off by anything remotely involving pain or non-consensual sex.

I enjoy incest stories though.

Tastes vary. I wouldn't worry about it.

I'm not worried about the taste, more about technique - I thought that the avoidance of incest was the opposite of a hint?

 

[CeriseNoire]

I'm not worried about the taste, more about technique - I thought that the avoidance of incest was the opposite of a hint?

Well you know I liked the story as mentioned in my PC. Now for me, the mere mention of blood relatives even feeling sexual tension or the suggestion thereof is an instant turn-off. Doesn't change the quality of the story, it's just a matter of my own taste.

 

[sirhugs]

Well you know I liked the story as mentioned in my PC. Now for me, the mere mention of blood relatives even feeling sexual tension or the suggestion thereof is an instant turn-off. Doesn't change the quality of the story, it's just a matter of my own taste.

and that's the line I tried to walk....

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I started to read the story during the contest but, didn't find it interesting enough to finish.

I read the whole story just now, and not much has changed from original opinion. I found the story rather lackluster and uninteresting. But, that's just my opinion.

One thing you may want to watch is the use of numbers.

She was barely 18.

She was barely eighteen.

Which reads better? The brain switches gears when it sees numerals.

 

[writelove]

I liked the first two sentences, good crisp dialog.

Then I got bogged down on the third para. I would get rid of paras 3, 4, and 5, keep the early two para dialog, then continue with the paragraph, "Hadley the housekeeper ..."

The seventh para about the guy's disability, I would cut it down, make it more concise. My thinking is to always edit to remove the extra stuff that just tires readers when they need to wade through it.

I think the same process probably needs to be done with the rest of the story, remove extra words.

I do think this could be a good piece with a bit of editing. Otherwise it will tend to tire the reader.

I hope this helps.