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A Higher Chat Thread

Fact of the Day
"The bends" is a painful condition caused when nitrogen gas forms bubbles in a diver's blood. Scuba divers risk getting the bends if they come up too fast from a deep dive.


Quote of the Day
"There is an element of truth in every idea that lasts long enough to be called corny"
- Irving Berlin

Word of the Day
besot
Pronunciation: /bi-SOT/
v : to make foolish or intoxicated
"By the end of the evening, the groom was besot by champagne and happiness."
 
Joke of the Day


An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river. "Why did you do that?" asks a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory!" says the giraffe.

"Yes," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."


I know....dumb..but it might have made you smile!
:)
 
lol

SOMETIMES...

Sometimes...
when you cry,
no one sees your tears.

Sometimes...
when you are in pain,
no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes...
when you are worried,
no one sees your stress.

Sometimes...
when you are happy,
no one sees your smile.

But fart just ONE TIME...!
 
done_got_old said:
lol

SOMETIMES...

Sometimes...
when you cry,
no one sees your tears.

Sometimes...
when you are in pain,
no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes...
when you are worried,
no one sees your stress.

Sometimes...
when you are happy,
no one sees your smile.

But fart just ONE TIME...!
Click to expand...

very funny DGO!!!!!!:D
 
A Funny:


It's Dark In Here


A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it."

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$25.00."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball mitt."

The lover remembering the last time asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy: "$75.00."

Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy: "$100.00."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confessional and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
 
ok...another funny one an old high school classmate just sent me....we went to an all girls catholic school....here it is

Finkelstein, the Tailor.....

Jesus is wandering around Jerusalem when he decides he really needs a new robe. After looking around, he sees a sign for "Finkelstein, the Tailor." He goes in and Finkelstein prepares a new robe for him, which is a perfect fit.

When he asks how much he owes, Finkelstein brushes him off: "No, no, no, for the Son of God? There's no charge! However, may I ask a small favor? Maybe whenever you give a sermon you could just mention a little something about how your nice new robe was made by Finkelstein the Tailor."

Jesus readily agrees and, as promised, plugs Finkelstein's robes every time he preaches.

Some months later, Jesus is walking through Jerusalem and happens by Finkelstein's shop. There is a huge line of people waiting for Finkelstein's robes. He pushes his way through the crowd to speak to Finkelstein.

"Jesus, Jesus, look what a marvel you've been for business!" gushed Finkelstein. "Would you consider a partnership?"

"Sure, sure," replies Jesus. "Jesus & Finkelstein it is."

"Oh, no, no," says Finkelstein. "Finkelstein & Jesus." After all, I am the craftsman." The two of them debated this for some time. Their discussion was long and spirited, but ultimately fruitful.

Finally, they come up with a mutually acceptable compromise. A few days later, the new sign went up over Finkelstein's shop...


Are you ready for this? (scroll down)
.
.
.
.
.

"LORD & TAYLOR"


__________________
 
Cathleen said:
Are you ready for this? (scroll down)
"LORD & TAYLOR"
Click to expand...

I presume that's the name of a famous store in the US? :D


Okay, here's a Bill Gates joke ....


Bill Gates dies and is met in Purgatory by God ....

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Bill replied: "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God said: "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?" asked Bill.

God said: "I'm going to leave it up to you."

Bill said: "OK, then, let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell...

It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"

"Fine" said God and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision.

"Hmm, I think I prefer Hell" he told God.

"Fine" retorted God, "as you desire".

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell.

When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded, his voice full of anguish and disappointment: "This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

God says: "That was the screen saver."


:D
 
Ouch!!! :rolleyes:

Morning Higher et al ..... yep we had a fab time in Paris. Did the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triumph, Champs Elysees, Monmartre, Sacre Coeur, Notre dame, boat trip along the Seine, lots of lovely French food and wine... and yep.. some romance too (ie.. lots of wild sex!!! :devil:)

Now on a more serious note... I am listening to a discussion on organ donation on the radio at the moment. Every aspect is being covered... those that make the decision to donate loved ones organs.. and those that are waiting for or have received a transplant.

I carry an organ donation card.. and always urge my hubby and family too as well. My family and friends are only too well aware of my wishes to give whatever bits of me that can be used when I die... cos I sure as heck wont need them!!!

I suppose I just wanted to bring it to the discussion here to make everyone aware of the need for organ donors and the hope that my friends here may also consider organ donation if they havent considered it already!

OK.. getting off my soapbox!!!
 
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