A haiku for my pains

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

My story's not up
Oh cruel deities of Lit
Buggering my ass


As MG astutely pointed out on another thread, haiku is not written, it's perpetrated.

 

[MathGirl]

My story's not up
Oh cruel deities of Lit
Buggering my ass

Dear Ms Crayola Azul,
That is absolutely lovely. I can only reply with another haiku.

The pathos, the angst!
affects my nether reaches
gotta go bee emm

Reverently,
MG

 

[CWatson]

My eyes deceive me:
"A haiku for my penis"
I first thought it said.

~CWatson
(contributing nothing useful )

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Hmmm. I think it would have improved matters if that had been the name of the thread.

I give you: A haiku for my phantom weenie.

Growth-stunted weenie!
No testosterone burst
came in utero

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Arithma-chick

Bless your empathy!
Didn't mean to make you crap
Things come out all right?

 

[Guest]

Haiku with postscript

Sunday Morning Sex

My cock, translucent purple
Battery-operated tremors
I bite the pillow

p.s. but he speaks a foreign tongue; I'll settle.


Perdita

 

[MathGirl]

Personal to Ms BluPen:

Story still pending
must be some mistake, oh well
ain't that just a bitch

MG

 

[Guest]

after Calderón

Life Is a Dream

I dreamt that I was dreamng,
and then I awoke to life.
And then I awoke to Life.

 

[MathGirl]

Dear Bluie,

Story still pends, darn
enough to piss off the Pope
sorry for bad news

Haikuly,
MG

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

It's enough to coax
a bitch-slap out of Gandhi
I weep, openly

 

[DurtGurl]

Dear Ms Pensive Ballpoint,

Please be of good cheer
"pending" could change to "reject"
time then to be pissed

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Who in good conscience
could callously reject our
minimum opus

 

[snooper]

Who in good conscience
could callously reject our
minimum opus

Laurel and Manu,
night and day they read and post.
Please cut them some slack.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Hey Snoop

They have this new thing-
Where people make jokes and stuff
It's called levity


Although spontaneous displays of reactionary self-righteousness are really cute, Snooper, come on- with an infinite arsenal of verbiage at our disposal, would Math Girl or I really choose to rant in haiku?

I'm well aware of how much Laurel does for this site, I've thanked her for it many times. I'm quite sympathetic to her plight, and if you knew the story we were talking about, you'd know that I feel sorrier than ever for her plight...

It's that bad.

Math-ette, I think we're going to have to kick the sarcasm up a notch- I always did have a problem with being too damn subtle....*laugh*

 

[MathGirl]

My heart sores on wings

Oh, joy unrestrained
a fat twelve point five game lead
National League West

At last, at long last
Mamsel de la Blue published
here at Lit dot com

 

[snooper]

Hey Snoop

They have this new thing-
Where people make jokes and stuff
It's called levity

Levity is fun.
Being serious has points.
A nice mixture.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Glad you took it as the good-natured ribbing it was meant to be

I mean, how much introspection can you really expect from a girl entirely covered in charcoal powder?

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

That's charcoal, is it? Hmm. Arty!

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

That's charcoal, is it? Hmm. Arty!

Sorry, I should have said:

Blue pen in charcoal powder?
Let me think on it.
Must be arty!

 

[MathGirl]

Morning haiku movement

Madmoiselle Blue Pen
story very popular
some folks have poor taste

Bad experience
with beagle name of Walter
no dogs for MG

Poor Gabriel Lee
never quite get the hang of
that goddamn haiku

Big trade for my team
two skinny guys for fat boy
hope don't shoot own foot

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Haiku is best left
to the mildly retarded
Hence, I do excel

There must be a lot
of Matt Damon fans out there
why else, the high votes?

Charcoal photo shoot!
What a great fucking idea!
White bathroom turns black

Gabriel's haiku
like the tree with no branches!
unfettered and free

 

[Guest]

Haiku dedicated to Gauchecritic

ABCD EFG HIJK LMN OP
QRS TUV W and X Y Z
What’s the problem?


Purr

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Oh my god...

I'm drowing in velveeta..

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

"Heeeyyyy! are those "mirror pants"?? 'Cause I could really see myself in 'em!"

 

[CWatson]

Originally posted by MlledeLaPlumeBleu
"Heeeyyyy! are those "mirror pants"?? 'Cause I could really see myself in 'em!"

*facepalm*