3113
Hello Summer!
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2005
- Posts
- 13,823
Oh, nice point! Yes. I think you're right. And I think the most important thing to note here was that the cannibal was upfront and honest with his "sub." He didn't trick the sub into dying (being consumed), or try to excuse what he wanted to do (as an abuser would). He took full responsibility for the act, and was very clear about what he was after. He wanted a partner who was equally "responsible" and clear about what he was after, too.
Both thought they were going to get sexual, and likely emotional/psychological gratification from the act. But when two people are thinking like that, they're already out of sight of reality.
The clarity of what one wanted from the other is important, however, in distinguishing D/s from abuse. An abuser will blame the victim for what he/she is doing. They won't tell the person upfront what they intend and get their consent for it. Likewise gurus like Jim Jones and such who people will die or kill for--there is a D/s sort of relationship going on, but they're asserting that it is for a greater cause. They trick the victim into thinking they need to do this for home, family, country, safety or just to get to heaven.
They aren't saying, "This is what I want, and you will be doing this for me." The essence of D/s is the sub does it for the Dom and gets pleasure out of that. It's a very ritualized version, but not altogether different from simply trying to please one's partner. Like giving them a foot rub or going to a movie you may not like because you know they'll love it. The pleasure is in pleasing them, in seeing them satisfied.
