A funny thing happened on the way to...

[Jenny _S]

Those of you who were here last night and bored out of your skulls may have (in a moment of total insanity) visited the Personals and seen an excellent thread posted by one "HeatherHotAss" entitled "Are there any good guys left?"

Here is a link to that thread --> https://forum.literotica.com/...threadid=187603

Miss HotAss, if she doesn't mind me shortening her moniker for reasons of brevity, also has a rather interesting link in her profile to "her webpage". After visiting both her thread and her webpage it seems clear that her full name is Heather Spam HotAss. At least this seemed clear to everyone who visited the thread with the exception of one (Virgin) male who insisted on sticking up for Miss HotAss.

This went on throughout the evening and was very entertaining resulting in this guy making a somewhat famous name for himself. I would suggest you visit the thread and prepare to laugh your asses off.

You comments below are much appreciated.

 

[waverlysgirl]

Hmm, that link was non-responsive. Will this one work? https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=187603

 

[Guest]

 

[waverlysgirl]

LIMERICK

There was an angry young man from Flagstaff
Who thought he was cool, not a jackass
The women he wooed, turned out to be rude
But not quite as rude as the jackass.

 

[waverlysgirl]

Re: Re: A funny thing happened on the way to...

The link doesnt work, but that does sound very funny

Try my link, Jack. It wasn't intended to be funny but it turned out that way as the night wore on. It was A Comedy of Errors.

 

[Jenny _S]

Hmmmm :-s

Hmm, that link was non-responsive. Will this one work? https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=187603

Not sure how I screwed that up... but your's works great, Waverlysgirl...

I was probably adversly affected by the SPAM!

 

[Guest]

 

[Jenny _S]

That was freaking hilarious

And someone made off with the pizza and beer in the end... WHO WAS IT????

 

[waverlysgirl]

LOL. Jenny

It gets everywhere and in everything.

Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Zack was gracious enough to write a story about those who visited the Heather HotAss thread. He hopes to have it published on Lit in a few days. I thought it would be the sincerest form of flattery if we wrote our own story about what Zack's story would say about each of us. You should read through the Heather thread to get a flavor for Zack's personality and his likes and dislikes. Read his profile, too, for more info about this special man from AZ. I will start:

It was dry, the dryest day of the year in Flagstaff, according to the fat, ugly b*tch on the radio. I bet she doesn't get any at home from her drunken, fat, lazy husband, Zack thought to himself. The Impala overheated on Rte. 180 and Zack pulled off to look under the hood. That stupid, fat b*tch on the radio was still running her yap about the weather. If she were here right now I'd give her something to shut her up. Shut her up real good. Zack rubbed his crotch as he thought about the woman on the radio....

 

[Jenny _S]

Tinkering with the engine doesn't work. "God Damn B**ch wife didn't put gas in the fucker. What good is she anyway?" Slamming the hood, Zack starts the long walk down he road to a service station.

Finally a red corvette slams on it's brakes and skids to a stop. A luscious brunette turns around in her seat and says, "Hi I'm Heather. Heather HotAss. Wanna lift? I can tell you are a REAL man... credit card and EVERYTHING."

Zack climbs into the passanger seat an buckles up as Heather reaches into the Glover Box and pulls out her Credit Card Machine. "Yanno. I've been looking for a REAL man, you wanna talk for a while? It's only $2.99 a minute."

Stretching back in his seat, Zack whips out his joint and give is a couple jerks. "I was thinking about chatting a while and getting to know you, Heather. Damn you are some woman. Not like those other Bitches on Lit like that fat battleship, Jenny _S and all."

 

[Guest]

 

[Native Alien]

Thread hijack.

Ya'll crack me up. Jenny thanks for the thread here so I knew to look over there. lol.

 

[Jenny _S]

Hey

Thread hijack.

Ya'll crack me up. Jenny thanks for the thread here so I knew to look over there. lol.

Good ta see ya Native... Just being cheeky... and sorta expanding my horizons in the Playground

 

[waverlysgirl]

THE STORY SO FAR...

What will it be Zack, do you want to talk to a school girl, a horny housewife, oh I know you want a she male. You like the woman on the outside look with a nice package waiting for you down below, well that will be $3.99 a minute for getting 2 delights.

Zack coughs on his joint and smile at Heather.

Zack is stranded, due to his wife's stupidity, again. As he walks down the highway, a luscious, barely legal brunette offers him a ride. Jack, a veteran of such encounters whips out his credit card and his member in one smooth jerk.

After several minutes of getting nowhere, he talks to the brunette. My wife is ruining my sex life! You ever have that problem? She is always on the computer talking to God knows who. I try to please her but I'm a musician, man! I got practice, gigs and this great herb garden in the backyard. There are not enough hours in the day. You know what I'm saying. Jack works his hand down his shaft, to no avail. The driver is silent. Her eyes are a glassy blue and stay locked on the highway. THAT STUPID B*TCH! Jack explodes in the front seat when he discovers a chocolate candy bar melting through his pocket. His wife placed it there before he went to work that morning...

 

[Native Alien]

Warning Hijacking in progress.

Here is something that ya'll need to read. I was checking on a story of my own that was due up and found this.

click here

Okay hijacking over now. Sorry but I just couldn't resist. lol.

 

[Jenny _S]

LMAO

Warning Hijacking in progress.

Here is something that ya'll need to read. I was checking on a story of my own that was due up and found this.

click here

Okay hijacking over now. Sorry but I just couldn't resist. lol.

Besides the fact that he has no idea how to use dialogue, the story is incredibly juvinile, unbelievable, and hardly readable, what's the problem?

Edit: I did NOT get wet. ROFL.

 

[Native Alien]

And that thread just keeps getting better and better.

 

[waverlysgirl]

Re: LMAO

Besides the fact that he has no idea how to use dialogue, the story is incredibly juvinile, unbelievable, and hardly readable, what's the problem?

Edit: I did NOT get wet. ROFL.

Jenny, you would be wet if you weren't smoking that bowl!

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: LMAO

Jenny, you would be wet if you weren't smoking that bowl!

I have to smoke something to deal with the idiocy.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: LMAO

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: Re: Re: LMAO

Is it that bad Jenny, if so Im sorry

((((hugs)))))

Pass the bowl over here

Yes... terrible... this place has driven me to it... that's why I don't leave.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: LMAO

 

[waverlysgirl]

THE BROWN GOO

oozed from his front pocket and stained his groin. Mo-fo, stupid c**t b*tch! Why did she put this candy bar in my pocket. Heather did not react to Zack's outburst. Her eyes are a glassy blue and stay locked on the highway. Zack wipes his hand on the car seat as Heather steps on the accelerator. Zack is thrilled and a little concerned.

Hey, baby, why don't you pull over and suck my d*ck. I'll make sure you enjoy it. The car swerves to the shoulder, gravel flies as the dust swirls around the doors. Heather takes Zack's credit card and swipes it through the card reader, built into the console...

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: THE BROWN GOO

oozed from his front pocket and stained his groin. Mo-fo, stupid c**t b*tch! Why did she put this candy bar in my pocket. Heather did not react to Zack's outburst. Her eyes are a glassy blue and stay locked on the highway. Zack wipes his hand on the car seat as Heather steps on the accelerator. Zack is thrilled and a little concerned.

Hey, baby, why don't you pull over and suck my d*ck. I'll make sure you enjoy it. The car swerves to the shoulder, gravel flies as the dust swirls around the doors. Heather takes Zack's credit card and swipes it through the card reader, built into the console...

Staring hungerily at Heather, Zack unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down around his ankles while Heather stroked his cock.

You are going to love this, Zack," she said flashing a smile seen only in "Jaws".

Lowering her head to Zack's throbbing man-meat Heather's tongue made one long lick from his balls to the tip of his cock. "I love a man with smegma, Zack," she swooned as she buried his throbbing member deep between her shark-like teeth...

 

[Jenny _S]

Re: Re: THE BROWN GOO

Staring hungerily at Heather, Zack unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down around his ankles while Heather stroked his cock.

You are going to love this, Zack," she said flashing a smile seen only in "Jaws".

Lowering her head to Zack's throbbing man-meat Heather's tongue made one long lick from his balls to the tip of his cock. "I love a man with smegma, Zack," she swooned as she buried his throbbing member deep between her shark-like teeth...

With her mouth clenched around Zack's cock, her tongue lapped hungerily at the head as her teeth racked the shaft.

Looking up at him, Heather said through blood soaked lips, "Oh, Zack, baby. You taste so good."

"Oh yes. Eat me baby," cried Zack as she bit into him cock once more. "You are nothing like those fat, fucking, ass licking dumb cunts on Lit. You are a REAL woman, Heather."

With that Zack spewed gallons of man juice against Heather's tonsils and down her expensive throat. "Oh gee. I'm sorry, Zack. But that'll cost you extra," Heather exclaimed reaching for the credit card machine...