A delicate question.

[Stella_Omega]

So, what medical procedure would you go for now, though? Would it be better to get a dick transplant or have one grown in a laboratory (possible, but not done in humans yet)? They're both within the realm of possibility nowdays, although, I still like the chicks with dicks and men with cunts.

There is no functioning penis available, so-- I plan to stick with my birth genitalia and a shift in brain hormones.

Your theory about in utero hormone tides influencing the gender of a fetus's brain is the one I favor as well, by the way. I think this because the hormones are so astonishingly effective even late in life, even without surgery

 

[infinity706]

They're not exactly possible. Penis transplantation from human cadavers has only been done a couple of times and it was barely successful. Lab-grown has not been done in humans yet. More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_transplantation

Yeah, I know that. You can blame all the ethics people for that. They seem to work just fine in lab animals, but ethics boards like to question whether human cloning and non-life saving organ transplants are a good thing. Sometimes, money and politics stomps on science just like the morning after pill debate. (the directions are painfully simple, it's more expensive than months worth of condoms, and seriously, what 12 year old girl is going to want to repeat that kind of experience) It's not like giving a shit about transgendered people is politically important at the moment.

There is no functioning penis available, so-- I plan to stick with my birth genitalia and a shift in brain hormones.

Your theory about in utero hormone tides influencing the gender of a fetus's brain is the one I favor as well, by the way. I think this because the hormones are so astonishingly effective even late in life, even without surgery

Yeah, the hormones can do everything besides forming genitals, even in adults. They can control everything from bones, to muscles, blood pressure, sex drive, fat content/storage location, hair growth, acne, and even brain chemistry. Everyone's sex chromosomes are basically led by one X, though, so genetics is a smaller part of the pie than most people would like to think. The Y is next to useless.

 

[StacyTG]

How do you know you actually want to BE the opposite sex?

Hmm. I started to answer this, and realised that the answers to your first question simply mad me feel sad, angry and frustrated. To answer that question would be a recital of my life-- there are times when I KNOW I am in the wrong body (female in my case) and times when I am perfectly okay with being "unusually masculine for a woman." I've had a lot of practice though, for most of my life there has been no medical procedure for female-to-male transition. I had to learn to live with it.

As always, Stella's answer is very beautifully said.

For me, I know, for a fact that I want to be a woman (yes, I am transgendered), because when I look down, I'm physically sicked with this body. When I masturbate, I want to reach down and feel a labia, a clitoris, not what I was born with. So I do things to try and get as physically in touch with my feminine side as my mind is screaming out for, (and what society will let me get away with without fear of physical repurcussions!)

Not only that, but I want everything that goes along with physically being a woman...the menstruation period, and most importantly, the ability to grow a life inside my body. No, this is not a fetish, I was born into the wrong body, and I know it...I've known it my whole life, and I struggle with it everyday of my life, and it's exhausting, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

 

[Sara_Unknown]

As always, Stella's answer is very beautifully said.

For me, I know, for a fact that I want to be a woman (yes, I am transgendered), because when I look down, I'm physically sicked with this body. When I masturbate, I want to reach down and feel a labia, a clitoris, not what I was born with. So I do things to try and get as physically in touch with my feminine side as my mind is screaming out for, (and what society will let me get away with without fear of physical repurcussions!)

Not only that, but I want everything that goes along with physically being a woman...the menstruation period, and most importantly, the ability to grow a life inside my body. No, this is not a fetish, I was born into the wrong body, and I know it...I've known it my whole life, and I struggle with it everyday of my life, and it's exhausting, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Ah! You did change your screen name..

 

[none2_none2]

As always, Stella's answer is very beautifully said.

For me, I know, for a fact that I want to be a woman (yes, I am transgendered), because when I look down, I'm physically sicked with this body. When I masturbate, I want to reach down and feel a labia, a clitoris, not what I was born with. So I do things to try and get as physically in touch with my feminine side as my mind is screaming out for, (and what society will let me get away with without fear of physical repurcussions!)

Not only that, but I want everything that goes along with physically being a woman...the menstruation period, and most importantly, the ability to grow a life inside my body. No, this is not a fetish, I was born into the wrong body, and I know it...I've known it my whole life, and I struggle with it everyday of my life, and it's exhausting, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I used (past tense) to be sickened by my bad ear. (My mother was in a car wreck before I was born, so it isn't genetic.) I've always wore my hear to cover it. I had always wanted to be an actor, but I knew with the ear, the hair to cover it, the skin graphs resulting from the surgeries to try to correct it, my idiosyncrasies where I have to spin around to figure out the direction of sound, etc, that I would never be one of those leading kind of actors like I envisioned. I enjoyed acting in high school and junior college, but knew it would never lead me to fame and fortune in film. (Just like not being hung limits you from becoming a bock buster porn star.)

I always envisioned myself being normal, with two ears, a more acceptable haircut, none of these skin graphs, and the constant teasing in the 1960's and 70's growing up when anything but short hair was a sign of being a sissy, a hippie, and everything undesirable. I never wanted to be pitied, nor did I want to be an oddball.

My grandma died 15-Nov-2003, but for the last few months her memories started to fade. She would sometimes mix me up with my cousin. (Grandma raised me, where as my cousin just visited for 3 months.) Her eyesight wasn't that good, so I put her hands over my ears, and she remembered ME! (It's kind of hard for her to forget something like that, and we had so many Continental Trailways bus rides of 250 miles to go to the big city for surgeries through my childhood.) For that moment I loved my imperfections because it kept my grandma knowing me until the very end.

Now that doesn't mean I'll ever stop desiring to have two ears. (I still don't like what I see in the mirror when I comb my hair. Heaven help me if I ever go really bald.) I simply know there was some kind of cosmic purpose for being different. If someone could say they could make me a perfect plastic ear that would look just like my other one and I could then wear my hair short, I am pretty sure the answer would be no.

One may think that a body part like an ear isn't something you think about very often. I don't obsess about it, but it is something I'm always aware of. If its windy, I'm aware that my hair may blow the wrong way. When I think of right or left, I never ever get them confused because I know which is the good or bad side. I'm aware of it especially when wearing gasses. I've been aware since grade school why I spin around to hear where sound is coming from. I'm aware when I'm in a crowded room situation, and the conversations are uncomfortable to focus on.

Again, I'm not trying to seek out pity. Rather share the experience that many of us have who don't like what was dished out. Over the years, I just learned there are many more in this boat then you might realize. When I do think about pitting myself, all I have to do is think of the people who cannot hear at all, or are blind, or are without a limb to walk or to climb or to write, a burn victim, a person with persistent chronic pain. It doesn't change my desires to be normal, but it puts it into better perspective.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I used (past tense) to be sickened by my bad ear. (My mother was in a car wreck before I was born, so it isn't genetic.) I've always wore my hear to cover it. I had always wanted to be an actor, but I knew with the ear, the hair to cover it, the skin graphs resulting from the surgeries to try to correct it, my idiosyncrasies where I have to spin around to figure out the direction of sound, etc, that I would never be one of those leading kind of actors like I envisioned. I enjoyed acting in high school and junior college, but knew it would never lead me to fame and fortune in film. (Just like not being hung limits you from becoming a bock buster porn star.)

I always envisioned myself being normal, with two ears, a more acceptable haircut, none of these skin graphs, and the constant teasing in the 1960's and 70's growing up when anything but short hair was a sign of being a sissy, a hippie, and everything undesirable. I never wanted to be pitied, nor did I want to be an oddball.

My grandma died 15-Nov-2003, but for the last few months her memories started to fade. She would sometimes mix me up with my cousin. (Grandma raised me, where as my cousin just visited for 3 months.) Her eyesight wasn't that good, so I put her hands over my ears, and she remembered ME! (It's kind of hard for her to forget something like that, and we had so many Continental Trailways bus rides of 250 miles to go to the big city for surgeries through my childhood.) For that moment I loved my imperfections because it kept my grandma knowing me until the very end.

Now that doesn't mean I'll ever stop desiring to have two ears. (I still don't like what I see in the mirror when I comb my hair. Heaven help me if I ever go really bald.) I simply know there was some kind of cosmic purpose for being different. If someone could say they could make me a perfect plastic ear that would look just like my other one and I could then wear my hair short, I am pretty sure the answer would be no.

One may think that a body part like an ear isn't something you think about very often. I don't obsess about it, but it is something I'm always aware of. If its windy, I'm aware that my hair may blow the wrong way. When I think of right or left, I never ever get them confused because I know which is the good or bad side. I'm aware of it especially when wearing gasses. I've been aware since grade school why I spin around to hear where sound is coming from. I'm aware when I'm in a crowded room situation, and the conversations are uncomfortable to focus on.

Again, I'm not trying to seek out pity. Rather share the experience that many of us have who don't like what was dished out. Over the years, I just learned there are many more in this boat then you might realize. When I do think about pitting myself, all I have to do is think of the people who cannot hear at all, or are blind, or are without a limb to walk or to climb or to write, a burn victim, a person with persistent chronic pain. It doesn't change my desires to be normal, but it puts it into better perspective.

So what the are you saying, dude? She should just get over it? Seriously?

By that thinking why did you bother with the operations, grafts and wearing your hair long? Why didn't you just "get over it"!

Stacy has EVERY right to feel as she does and EVERY right to take every step possible to become "more normal". That is her right and you have no right to say otherwise, so "just get over it!"

BTW, why do you need to try to turn every post you comment in into being about YOU?

 

[none2_none2]

So what the are you saying, dude? She should just get over it? Seriously?

By that thinking why did you bother with the operations, grafts and wearing your hair long? Why didn't you just "get over it"!

Stacy has EVERY right to feel as she does and EVERY right to take every step possible to become "more normal". That is her right and you have no right to say otherwise, so "just get over it!"

BTW, why do you need to try to turn every post you comment in into being about YOU?

Dudette, Yes Christmas is over, but it is still the holiday season. This is New Year's Eve. Do you ever take a break from being a jerk? Is this the real you 24/7? Are you always this intensely irritable? Seriously, you only seem to like insult people? Is that your sexual fetish? Is that how you feel good about yourself? Is this how you are with family an co-workers? Personally, I'm glad I don't know you in real life because being around cranky old geezers get old really fast.

Did I say she Stacey didn't have a right to her feelings? Did I say she should find Jesus, visit Lourdes, see a shrink, butch it up and be a man, or simply give it up? I guess reading comprehension isn't your strong point. Perhaps English isn't your first language? I cannot help you if you struggle with English. Perhaps if you just tried setting aside your attitude before you read other people's posts, then maybe you would understand their perspective.

As to writing about me, I write about what I know. If you would get off your anti-male rants and raves long enough to pay attention to what people write, you'd know that they usually write from their own perspective. You can normally tell when someone doesn't as their writing becomes somewhat pretentious.

I'm not going write about your perspective because I'm not in your body or (thank goodness) in your head. Now maybe you are one of those dudettes who gets off on straight guys who masquerade on forums as a closet bi/gay gal just so they can chat with the "ladies". I know there are gay guys out there who will masquerade as straight women because that is how they get their jollies -- thinking that a straight guy for one instance dreamed about sex with them not knowing that they were chatting with another guy. I'm sorry but that is not my cup of tea. Personally, I don't have time to dream up story lines, and then try to remember which story I told to which person. I've always found that reality is more interesting anyway.

Try to cheer up. It is New Year's Eve. Try smiling in the mirror, or smiling at a stranger who walks by. Smiles can be contagious. You might even find out that you like humanity.

Happy New Year!

 

[Etoile]

Rather share the experience that many of us have who don't like what was dished out. Over the years, I just learned there are many more in this boat then you might realize. When I do think about pitting myself, all I have to do is think of the people who cannot hear at all, or are blind, or are without a limb to walk or to climb or to write, a burn victim, a person with persistent chronic pain. It doesn't change my desires to be normal, but it puts it into better perspective.

Wow, really? You're going to equate not having an ear to being born in the wrong body? Yours is a recognized medical condition - I assume some form of microtia. You "don't like" your ear. Transgender people have something far more severe than "not liking" what was dished out. It's a traumatic dysphoria that makes you question everything about yourself, because gender is one of the most fundamental human attributes, and being genderqueer or transgendered flies in the face of everything our society - and even many non-Western societies - understands. Yeah, everybody has something they don't like about themselves. But being born in the wrong body is a pretty serious thing to "not like" and it's caused countless suicides. Even the people who have accepted their trans status face persecution, discrimination, and the threat of murder every single day of their lives.

As for pitying others, most disabled people don't want your pity. In fact, I have pretty regular involvement in the disability community, and I can say that virtually none of them want your pity, and many don't even want to be what you would call normal. If it makes you feel better about yourself to pity them, fine. But don't tell a disabled person "oh, I pity you because it makes me feel better." They don't want your pity, and they sure as hell don't want to be your tool for self-empowerment.

I don't mean to jump down your throat here, but I really can't let minimizing the impact of gender dysphoria and using disabled people to boost your self-esteem slip by.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm thinking , none2, that you misunderstand the basic facts of transgender.

Yes, there are many transgendered people who have made their peace with what they were born with. That doesn't make them any less transgendered. Not doing anything is a solution of sorts, and who are we to say they are right or wrong?

There are many people who get the operations and medical procedures to bring their bodies into line with what their mind tells them is correct for them.

That, oddly enough, doesn't make them any MORE transgendered than the first group--it merely makes them people who found a different solution to a problem.

 

[none2_none2]

Wow, really? You're going to equate not having an ear to being born in the wrong body? Yours is a recognized medical condition - I assume some form of microtia. You "don't like" your ear. Transgender people have something far more severe than "not liking" what was dished out. It's a traumatic dysphoria that makes you question everything about yourself, because gender is one of the most fundamental human attributes, and being genderqueer or transgendered flies in the face of everything our society - and even many non-Western societies - understands. Yeah, everybody has something they don't like about themselves. But being born in the wrong body is a pretty serious thing to "not like" and it's caused countless suicides. Even the people who have accepted their trans status face persecution, discrimination, and the threat of murder every single day of their lives.

As for pitying others, most disabled people don't want your pity. In fact, I have pretty regular involvement in the disability community, and I can say that virtually none of them want your pity, and many don't even want to be what you would call normal. If it makes you feel better about yourself to pity them, fine. But don't tell a disabled person "oh, I pity you because it makes me feel better." They don't want your pity, and they sure as hell don't want to be your tool for self-empowerment.

I don't mean to jump down your throat here, but I really can't let minimizing the impact of gender dysphoria and using disabled people to boost your self-esteem slip by.

Where did I say I "pitied" the disabled? I simply said that when I get on my OWN sef-pity pot, I have to remember it could have been worse. Do other's have it worse than me? Yes, of course they can have it worse than me. Has our society gotten so politically correct that we mustn't even think such thing? Would I be mentally healthier if I always thought nothing was worse than MY condition? That would be awfully self-centered, not to mention difficult to be around. If you consider making comparisons self-empowerment, so be it. I do not. I seriously doubt that anybody goes through life without making comparisons to others. If I think of someone who has it better off than me, I don't see it as envy or jealousy unless I obsess on it. Likewise, if I think of someone who has it worse, I don't see it as pity unless I obsess on it or throw it in their face.

As to transgendered vs birth defect, I never said a birth defect was "identical" to gender dysphoria. However, there are similarities. Is jumping on my case about that any different than some who are insulted when LGBT make any metaphors with the African-American struggle? Sure the struggles aren't identical, but should it be so taboo to compare at all?

Are you not in essence "ranking" disabilities by making gender dysphoria so traumatic? If the disabled community doesn't want to be "pitied", would the transgender community be that much different?

For me, gender is more of a social construct than something so fundamental. If there is such a thing as a human soul, I cannot imagine it being limited by race, stature, gender, preference/orientation, or even body parts regardless if they are defective or not. They are all components that make up the whole individual. "I" in total am not my race, my gender, etc. Rather, each of us is an amalgamation of all those components which make us have similarities to others, yet also make us all distinct individuals.

Unfortunately, society makes a big deal out of gender. Our human languages also make a big deal of it. I play the gender game roles as are expected of me (excluding the heterosexuality of course) as plenty of us probably do. That doesn't mean I like it; I simply accept it.

I am in no way shape or form stating that transgendered individuals should give up their aspirations. I just think the joys of any particular gender are way over-hyped. That goes for individuals wanting to be accepted as the gender opposite of their socially designated gender or those seeking acceptance the same gender that they have always been a part of.

Over my lifetime, I have come to believe that gender is more shades of gray than black and white. I don't think anybody can give a concrete definition of what is the essence of being male and female. A couple of years ago, I thought I knew. I figured that the essence of femaleness was that "maternal instinct" that desire to create life (or at least nurture life). I wrote about that. I believe that it was you that corrected me -- and rightly so.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I just think the joys of any particular gender are way over-hyped.

this is all, really, that you needed to say. Anything more and you are going to become insulting. Which, sorry-- you have done.
I say this out of bitter experience, as you probably know...

 

[Safe_Bet]

Where did I say I "pitied" the disabled? I simply said that when I get on my OWN sef-pity pot, I have to remember it could have been worse. Do other's have it worse than me? Yes, of course they can have it worse than me. Has our society gotten so politically correct that we mustn't even think such thing? Would I be mentally healthier if I always thought nothing was worse than MY condition? That would be awfully self-centered, not to mention difficult to be around. If you consider making comparisons self-empowerment, so be it. I do not. I seriously doubt that anybody goes through life without making comparisons to others. If I think of someone who has it better off than me, I don't see it as envy or jealousy unless I obsess on it. Likewise, if I think of someone who has it worse, I don't see it as pity unless I obsess on it or throw it in their face.

As to transgendered vs birth defect, I never said a birth defect was "identical" to gender dysphoria. However, there are similarities. Is jumping on my case about that any different than some who are insulted when LGBT make any metaphors with the African-American struggle? Sure the struggles aren't identical, but should it be so taboo to compare at all?

Are you not in essence "ranking" disabilities by making gender dysphoria so traumatic? If the disabled community doesn't want to be "pitied", would the transgender community be that much different?

For me, gender is more of a social construct than something so fundamental. If there is such a thing as a human soul, I cannot imagine it being limited by race, stature, gender, preference/orientation, or even body parts regardless if they are defective or not. They are all components that make up the whole individual. "I" in total am not my race, my gender, etc. Rather, each of us is an amalgamation of all those components which make us have similarities to others, yet also make us all distinct individuals.

Unfortunately, society makes a big deal out of gender. Our human languages also make a big deal of it. I play the gender game roles as are expected of me (excluding the heterosexuality of course) as plenty of us probably do. That doesn't mean I like it; I simply accept it.

I am in no way shape or form stating that transgendered individuals should give up their aspirations. I just think the joys of any particular gender are way over-hyped. That goes for individuals wanting to be accepted as the gender opposite of their socially designated gender or those seeking acceptance the same gender that they have always been a part of.

Over my lifetime, I have come to believe that gender is more shades of gray than black and white. I don't think anybody can give a concrete definition of what is the essence of being male and female. A couple of years ago, I thought I knew. I figured that the essence of femaleness was that "maternal instinct" that desire to create life (or at least nurture life). I wrote about that. I believe that it was you that corrected me -- and rightly so.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dude, you managed to us "I", "me" and "my" over 30 times in one single post! Get over your big, bad, self! It ain't always about YOU!

(and YOU should follow Stella's suggestion and delete and apologize for being a douche!)

 

[infinity706]

After reading all this and thinking about it, I think maybe it would be best to market being transgender as a curable mental disability. When you think about it that way, it's not really a big deal from an insurance point of view, since people only tend to transition once. It's not some chronic condition that has to be treated over and over again for the rest of your life. Of course if it became more common to have transition surgery, it would probably knock the cost down as well, since it would become more of a steady revenue stream.

Oh, and everyone could chill the fuck out a bit. It's not like everything is a personal attack.

 

[none2_none2]

I'm thinking , none2, that you misunderstand the basic facts of transgender.

Yes, there are many transgendered people who have made their peace with what they were born with. That doesn't make them any less transgendered. Not doing anything is a solution of sorts, and who are we to say they are right or wrong?

There are many people who get the operations and medical procedures to bring their bodies into line with what their mind tells them is correct for them.

That, oddly enough, doesn't make them any MORE transgendered than the first group--it merely makes them people who found a different solution to a problem.

I guess I'm having a difficult time explaining myself. I believe that we actually have more in common in thinking than what you are gleaning from what I wrote. (No, I don't mean I'm transgendered.)

What I hear about often on Literotica is the direness of someone's condition, or the absolute black and white of a situation. That is not necessarily limited to the topic of transgenderedness; it could be about a host of topics. When I was younger I was prone to that same negative cognitive way of thinking. It didn't get me anywhere. It is an unhealthy place to be in for any length of time. (Dire to me now has a very limited scope than from years ago. I pretty much limit that to topics of death and dying. Death sucks, whether you believe in pearly gates or non-existence, whether it is a human being or an animal friend. That is dire, and will always be so for me.)

While we may disagree on many things, I always had the feeling that through it all, you have your head in the right place. I agree, you are NOT less transgendered because you haven't under gone some surgery. You do come across as very rational individual even when we disagree. Whatever you do decide to do with your life, I strongly believe that it will be well thought out by you and will be whatever is the best pan of action for you and you alone.


I also believe you are the person you are REGARDLESS of which path you take (surgery or not). Being non-straight, and from Kansas, I cannot skip over the opportunity to mention the movie "The Wizard of Oz". I think plenty of us relate to it because it was about people who "didn't fit in". For me, the best scene is the scene where the wizard is finally confronted, and addresses each of their wants. The bottom line was that each one of them already had what they yearned for. They simply didn't have physical "proof", so they didn't believe it for themselves. Someone simply just had to point it out to them. The scarecrow wanted a brain, yet he was intelligent. The tinman wanted a heart, yet he was a compassionate individual anyway. The lion wanted courage, yet he showed courage by staying with his friends despite his fears. It is an overly simplistic view of life, but I think it holds true in the essence of its message.

Acquired a penis by birth or by surgery, won't make you any less/more a man than you already feel inside. Being transgendered I'm sure makes you appreciate that fact more than someone (like myself) who was just born male to begin with and thus can take such for granted.

 

[none2_none2]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dude, you managed to us "I", "me" and "my" over 30 times in one single post! Get over your big, bad, self! It ain't always about YOU!

(and YOU should follow Stella's suggestion and delete and apologize for being a douche!)

Dudette, I prefer using "I", "me", "my" over gender gender pronouns like he, him, she, his, her. If gender turns you on, here we go


hehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Feel better now?

Don't forget to try to smile.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That would be because people show up here after their sitch gets dire.

 

[Stella_Omega]

After reading all this and thinking about it, I think maybe it would be best to market being transgender as a curable mental disability. When you think about it that way, it's not really a big deal from an insurance point of view, since people only tend to transition once. It's not some chronic condition that has to be treated over and over again for the rest of your life. Of course if it became more common to have transition surgery, it would probably knock the cost down as well, since it would become more of a steady revenue stream.

An interesting idea.

Of course the problem with "mental disabilities" is that they are such enormous liabilities to admit to-- socially, financially. It's harder to get jobs, harder to make friends. I know it shouldn't be, but the array of disabilities ranges from mild to destructive like a nuclear bomb, and most people don't know enough to assess which is which.

But a "rectifiable disability" is a good way to put it.

 

[TheLM]

After reading all this and thinking about it, I think maybe it would be best to market being transgender as a curable mental disability. When you think about it that way, it's not really a big deal from an insurance point of view, since people only tend to transition once. It's not some chronic condition that has to be treated over and over again for the rest of your life. Of course if it became more common to have transition surgery, it would probably knock the cost down as well, since it would become more of a steady revenue stream.

Oh, and everyone could chill the fuck out a bit. It's not like everything is a personal attack.

Ehh.. I had to comment when I read this.

Transgender people are not mentally disabled. Their minds work fine(unless there is another underlying axis I or axis II diagnosis). When you start throwing around terms like mental disability you are going to find some hiccups.

http://msn.mess.be/data/thumbnails/8/Magneto.png
A war is coming...

 

[Sara_Unknown]

Gender is absolutely a broad spectrum with many shades of colours...

But how to explain...and I speak for my self but I'm sure others can relate...that there is a fundamental condition of being transgendered..or improperly hormonally equipped/balanced...that can be treated by the use of hormones (not surprisingly). Beyond anything else THIS is what I feel could begin to accomplish what I could not on my own...no matter how much I tried to accept and love my self outside the barriers of social construction.

It was like taking a set of mental blueprints that were all messed up...or perhaps a circuit board that was trying to operate with the wrong connections...and helping the system or layout find it's proper course.
Of course, treating my brain with hormones did bring about happy changes in my body that I fucking cherish to the nth degree.

It's not an easy A to B kind of deal...took a long time to figure out what hormones and levels worked for me. And as the years pass there are new situations to face and new challenges

But I always found it frustrating..this idea of being someone who was just...selling out? I mean like I'm not cool or hip or "real" enough...not advanced or progressive or enlightened enough to just be the way I was born?

I was born and this is who I am...and there is no doubt in any part of me after the last 10 years that I was wrong in this...I went through a period where things started to "reverse" because of a change in the type and method of the hormones I was taking (and it took a couple years to make it right) and let me tell you...it was like having climbed out of a pit into daylight only to be pushed back down into the darkness. And it didn't have anything to do with how I looked or didn't, or how much I was trying to fit in or not...it was my fucking brain off "drugs" that work.

I don't want to simplify this into just hormones...because everything effects everything else, and there are so many other things to deal with...but if there needs to be any kind evidence for this being more than a "personal choice" that can be accepted or denied...well, hormones are at least more concrete or tangible than feelings (wants/needs/desires).

And no, I don't want to exclude anyone from the highly coveted "transgender" label who doesn't go on hormones or fits in the middle or only wants to use gender neutral pronouns or ... or whatever their personal path is, whoever they are. I can only speak to my experience.

Amen. lol

Oh how I labour over writing these posts...

 

[Sara_Unknown]

Ehh.. I had to comment when I read this.

Transgender people are not mentally disabled. Their minds work fine(unless there is another underlying axis I or axis II diagnosis). When you start throwing around terms like mental disability you are going to find some hiccups.

http://msn.mess.be/data/thumbnails/8/Magneto.png
A war is coming...

Yes, I have a sister who has Down's Syndrome..and she's a way better person than I am...

 

[infinity706]

An interesting idea.

Of course the problem with "mental disabilities" is that they are such enormous liabilities to admit to-- socially, financially. It's harder to get jobs, harder to make friends. I know it shouldn't be, but the array of disabilities ranges from mild to destructive like a nuclear bomb, and most people don't know enough to assess which is which.

But a "rectifiable disability" is a good way to put it.

I think it's probably unavoidable, so it's probably better to just lead with it. Once you call it a disability, people are going to ask whether it's mental or physical. It certainly can't be physical, though, because most transgendered people's bodies work just fine. Besides, it only takes one sentence to explain that it means wanting to be the opposite sex. It's not like other things that are complicated to explain.

Ehh.. I had to comment when I read this.

Transgender people are not mentally disabled. Their minds work fine(unless there is another underlying axis I or axis II diagnosis). When you start throwing around terms like mental disability you are going to find some hiccups.

http://msn.mess.be/data/thumbnails/8/Magneto.png
A war is coming...

I never said transgendered people were mentally disabled. Sometimes you have to simplify things for people, though, to get what you want.

 

[Sara_Unknown]

I think it's probably unavoidable, so it's probably better to just lead with it. Once you call it a disability, people are going to ask whether it's mental or physical. It certainly can't be physical, though, because most transgendered people's bodies work just fine. Besides, it only takes one sentence to explain that it means wanting to be the opposite sex. It's not like other things that are complicated to explain.

Ah, yes! My sister pretty much gets to go to day programs and paint and make art all day. And go bowling..and swimming and whatnot...she only works a few hours a week...

This is what my career needs!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think it's probably unavoidable, so it's probably better to just lead with it. Once you call it a disability, people are going to ask whether it's mental or physical. It certainly can't be physical, though, because most transgendered people's bodies work just fine. Besides, it only takes one sentence to explain that it means wanting to be the opposite sex. It's not like other things that are complicated to explain.

Look at it the other way; It most certainly can be considered a physical disability, because the body is the wrong sex. My body does not work just fine, when I cannot perform sexually the way I should. Sure i can make do withtheh body I have-- but it's not right for me.

I never said transgendered people were mentally disabled. Sometimes you have to simplify things for people, though, to get what you want.

We do not in any way shape or form want to be considered mentally disabled. It would not simplify anything.

 

[Somehowyou]

I would like to add that sometimes people do change their preferences after transition. A friend of mine was a dyke as a young adult, and now he is a gay man. For some reason he just prefers cock to pussy now. He has never been bisexual to my knowledge. He describes this phenomenon as a "same-sex attraction" - that he is wired to like those who are the same gender he is, rather than being wired to prefer women or men in particular. I dunno if this is scientifically recognized or not, but that's how he describes it.
.

This is really hard to understand and a little confusing? "He" started out as a "She" that prefered other "Shes." Now "He" is a "He" that likes other "Hes".
Strange?

there are times when I KNOW I am in the wrong body (female in my case) and times when I am perfectly okay with being "unusually masculine for a woman." I've had a lot of practice though, for most of my life there has been no medical procedure for female-to-male transition. I had to learn to live with it.

Transgender means that your inner identity is different than your body. There are hundreds of nuances, which can be a point of dissention with other transfolk. The medical procedures are risky and very very expensive, and not all of us are so lucky as to find ways to accomplish that. So we call those fortunate ones "Post-op" transfolk. Or even better, we simply call them "men" or "women."

Can you be considered transgendered without surgery? So a TV is transgendered? Or maybe a TV is transgendered if she wears a dress and heels 24/7? I thought transitioning implied some surgery or hormonal therapy etc?

So there was a recent case in the sports world that a transgendered M to F wanted to enter a long drive championship for women. I don't remember how this was settled but can you show up like this person and say "I feel like a woman trapped in a man's body" and win the championship? There was a case of a very manly looking TS woman that wanted to use the women's dressing room and was not allowed. I dont remmember how this ended up either but can someone put on a dress and use the woman's dressing room because He feels like a She? At what point can you compete with genetic females and at what point are you allowed to use the ladies powder room. I'm all for the pursuit of happiness but some of thees situations can be very confusing for everyone.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Once more; transgender means that your gender-- the inner sex of your mind and soul, if you will, does not match your sex-- the genitals and hormones of the body you were born in.

That's the definition of transgender.

There are many ways to handle transgender states. Medical procedures, "mind over matter," denial, suicide, a hell of a sense of humor-- lots of ways.

Once again, someone who has managed to afford the operations is no more legitimately transgendered than someone who for whatever reason, cannot do so. They are just...better off. Not better, not more.

And again, sexual preference is a separate issue. And yes, it might seem weird to think that a gay woman would become a gay man, but I would just accept it as one more fact in your arsenal of knowledge, if I were you.

As to what a person can and can't do-- Those things kinda have to be settled on a case by case basis, the balance between society and personal freedoms is forever teetering. There can't be any hard-and-fast rules there, no matter how much we wish it were so. It depends on what, when, why.

If I had a store, my policy would be that anyone who wanted to try on a dress would do so in the dress-wearer's dressing room. Anyone who wanted to wear a suit could use the Manly Suit-wearer's dressing room. I would have the right to make that rule, if I were the owner of the store, and I am sure that I would bring in a lot of awesome queer clothing shoppers because of it!

On the other hand, I am NOT the owner of Macy's or Target, and they make their own rules-- not nearly as queer-friendly as mine would be.