A Dedication for Misty

[SexyThang]

This is Misty's song..

Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave
Because I'd go beserk
Well you left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone
Completely out of my mind

And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
They're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha haaa
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away ha haaa

You thought it was a joke
And so you laughed
You laughed when I said
That losing you would make me flip my lid
Right? You know you laughed
I heard you laugh. You laughed
You laughed and laughed and then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad

And they're coming to take me away ha haaa
They're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha haaa
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes

I cooked your food I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind unselfish, loving deeds
Ha! Well you just wait
They'll find you yet and when they do
They'll put you in the A.S.P.C.A.
You mangy mutt

And they're coming to take me away ha haaa
They're coming to take me away ha haaa ho ho hee hee
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats

And they're coming to take me away
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away ha haaa!

 

[SexyThang]

Now COME ON...that was funny.

 

[Guest]

A Dedication to SexyThang

Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we don’t know

I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I’m your average white, suburbanite slop
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying “how about this heat”

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicap spaces
While handicapped people make handicap faces

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong
Nah

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)

You know what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldora do convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And make brown baby seal lions for head lights (yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald’s
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I’m done sucking down those greeseball burgers
I’m gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I’m gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because we’ve got the bombs, that’s why
2 words, nuclear fuckin’ weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tinian Square and it won’t make a lick of difference
Because we’ve got the bombs, OK?
Judge Wings’ not dead, he’s frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
We’re gonna thaw out the duke and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 50 million times
That’s how pissed off the duke’s gonna be

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)

A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E

I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it

 

[SexyThang]

Thank you for sharing you life history with me!

If you want, I know a girl named Misty that will fuck ya!