a coupla anal sex questions...

[xylene]

okay so I know there have been countless questions about anal sex on here, but i can't find any that are relevant or I'm not looking in the right places....

I have been very anal curiousfor a couple of years now and i haven't been able to gt relaxed enough to have a guy do me in the ass...I've had success with a dildo/vibrator, but it takes so much effort and i have to start all over again the next day...is there a trick to staying a little more "open"
I mean I want it so bad,and i get all crazy when a guy rims me, but when it comes time where i think i'm ready it's like no go...

any suggestions...someone told me u can numb yourself with orajel...does that work?

also...once you are able to do it and you get used to it...does being a little stretched out affect your ability to like control the muscle tension in the asshole?

I always wondered about those chicks in pornos that have superstretched assholes....seems a little precarious...anyhoo appreciate anyone that can offer guidance...

thanks

 

[White_Tigress_]

This should answer some of the questions

This site has some good answers, and more professional than I can give.

http://www.halcyon.com/elf/altsex/analsex.html

From my experience though...it takes getting used to. Once you get past the initial entry, it is a lot easier. My quote for anal has always been and always will be "The Wetter The Better!!!"
Don't use vasilene though..that causes buildup and is water proof, so it gives a higher percentage of infection. Always use water based lube.

It did take some time for me to really love it, but now...well...I'm hooked! No complaints when he is in the mood for it. I've even iniciated for it at times. (thats not like me at all either)

Anyhow...read over that site, see if it helps...
There are also links on the top of the page for other questions in the sex field. May help others who are peeking in this thread.

 

[White_Tigress_]

...is there a trick to staying a little more "open"
I mean I want it so bad,and i get all crazy when a guy rims me, but when it comes time where i think i'm ready it's like no go...

any suggestions...someone told me u can numb yourself with orajel...does that work?

also...once you are able to do it and you get used to it...does being a little stretched out affect your ability to like control the muscle tension in the asshole?

I always wondered about those chicks in pornos that have superstretched assholes....seems a little precarious...anyhoo appreciate anyone that can offer guidance...

thanks

Guess I didn't answer the questios though *L*
For the orajel....I wouldn't use it...why?? Because it would numb the outside area which is where the pleasure comes from. No purpose in anal if you can't feel it. Trust me, when you get used to it, that will make more sense.

As for staying 'open'...the normal human body shouldn't stay open. It stretches for the sex, but after it contracts back to the way it was. The women im porn's....well..they are all primed up before the movie is shot, and they are experienced. No telling how it is when they need to hold back bowel movement though. I know I wouldn't want that! You can control it during sex, if you can teach yourself to relax. Thats the key.

Hope all this helped some.


BTW...I only know of one person in the past 5 yrs of being online that says "anyhoo"...You wouldn't happen to live in FL would you? *L*

 

[xylene]

thanks!

Thanks for the response white tigress... I just wanna see what info is out there...yeah and man i knew those porn chix were outta control. I need to be able to control my bowels lol...I shall check out the link you sent...nad as to the "anyhoo"...nope I live in CA haaa haaa

 

[curvacious]

Don't use orajel or anything else that numbs. If things hurt it's because your body is telling you to stop since you may be causing damage. So you don't want to block the pain sensation since you may be doing damage and it will kill when the numbness wears off.

 

[casilda]

I've found that the next most important thing after LOTS of lubrication (way more than you think you'll need) is position. We've just started with anal again after years of my being afraid to try after a few bad experiences with it, and I just love it now, but it has to be in a position that feels comfortable. Woman on top doesn't work for me at all- the pain is incredible. Kneeling with him behind me and me resting on the couch or something works the best- there is pressure at first but absolutely no pain. It helps if I'm completely relaxed and incredibly horny as well- I'm not sure there's such a thing as too much foreplay when it comes to anal sex .


I haven't had any problems with being stretched out and bowel control, but I would think that there would be after a steady diet of it- it might be worth researching some more if you're really worried about it. And I would definitely not use the orajel- pain is usually a signal that something is wrong, and unless you're into that I wouldn't go much further down that road.

Good luck- it really is worthwhile

Casilda

 

[xylene]

thanks ladies!

thanks for the info....So do you all have to do it on a regular basis or is it just once you get used to the idea it gets easier regardless of how much time goes inbetween?
I shall take it slow and see what happens...yeah i though the numbing thing was a bad idea...the guy I'm with suggested it. I think he's just desperate to do this, but he's gonna have to kick back til I can relax...i think the pressure of him and i wanting it so bad isn't helping. We shall see where it takes us...thanks again

 

[curvacious]

I didn't have to do it on a regular basis to get used to it. I just learned that if you relax as much as possible then it's easier. Having a partner you can really trust helps so much. If you're afraid he won't stop when you say ouch or stop, then maybe you won't be able to relax enough. I think the keys truely are relaxation, being totally turned on, and lubrication.
Try not to let him pressure you---you might not enjoy the experience and then you might miss out on something enjoyable.

 

[Lazarus_Long]

New experiences . . .

Saw your question about anal sex, and I thought I'd drop you a line. I personally think anal sex is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and I'm happy to give my two-cent's worth!

Foremost, you're half-way there . . . you know what you want. Anal sex can be a very hot, fun experience, but it does take a great deal of patience. It's Important to be Very, Very Patient!!! Nothing ruins anal sex more than trying to force the issue . . . so to speak.

Your partner should begin with a rim-job or some gentle, well-lubed finger massage. If you're really tight, he or she may spend a great deal of time simply massaging the opening. You might even consider spending some quality time with yourself, getting used to such action ahead of time. As a next step you might consider using a butt-plug or a small dildo, ALWAYS well-lubed. Build gradually . . .

When it comes to finally taking the plunge (puns-are-us), there are three positions to try: doggie, side and missionary. In any of the three you must do the work, slowly rubbing your ass onto your partner's protruberance of choice as you feel comfortable. Also, even though it sucks, I recomend a condom at least at first. Primarily this is so you can continue with other sexual activities should your experiments not pan out without concern.

I like to think of the three positions in the following ways . . .

Side is great for first times . . . it gives everyone a rest and a chance to slowly deal with this most intimate of situations.

Missionary is the easiest to achieve on the first try in my opinion. Just make sure you use a solid pillow under the small of your back, though. Angle is important

Doggie is the "advanced" level; it's not that it's really that hard to manage, it's just that it's real easy for one's partner to get the wrong idea and start going to town before you're ready. I recommend this position when you feel well accustomed to both the act and the girth or what you're attempting.

Please understand that these ideas have worked for me, but everyone's different, so take it slow and have a good time! Hope this helps!

Lazarus
enfer41@hotmail.com

 

[White_Tigress_]

so many great ideas here...

and points well put.

I agree with the patience & relaxing. It usually is the frame of mind that has alot to do with how well you relax. If you think to much about it, if it will hurt, are you doing it right..ect..Then you sure won't enjoy it.

The start should be with a finger, then 2, if you can take the 3 then your ready to go. 2 is a good start though. Lots of foreplay before he starts puting the head in though.

Now with all this advice everyone has givin, your gonna have to come back and tell us if it was right for you.

 

[jbsites]

I'm a guy so I'm not really sure if this reply really counts but I have introduced several woman to the art or rectal sex including my now wife who loves it. First you have to be totally relaxed and trusting that the guy isnt going to ram you so to speak. If you are afraid then take the top. That being said first try using one of those fleet enemas durring your clean up before you start having sex that way you know that you are compleatly clean it will be messy the first time around but after the first time you wont have any problem using one in the future. Anyways what I usually do is durring oral sex as I am nibbling the outer lips of my wifes pussy I take put a mixture of Oral jell and KY on my finger and work it gently into the opening. I go slow as I eat her that way its not all prep so to speak and she get into the mood of whats going to happen. After everythings loosened up I get on my knees and with her on her back I bend her knees up twords her chest and gently penetrate. The knee thing seems to help first of all it keeps me in control which prevents any unwanted damage from her moving two quickly and for some reason she can take it easier that way. Also when I put just the tip of my cock into the opening I teach them to gently push like they were going to the bathroom. I have found and have been told by woman that they can take that initial penetration a lot easier that way. Woman have a tendency to clam up so to speak because there seems to always be a little bit of initial discomfort durring the first couple of inches. Also guys cant pound away like they do with normal penetration so make sure your guy normally displays a lot of self control
good luck

 

[SteamyChik]

Anal sex being one of my favorite pastimes...

I just wanted to say that the more times I come before we have anal, the easier it is. That probably has to do with helping me to relax but coming 2-3 or 4 times first - well, I'll do anything.

I love anal, didn't do it for years because we tried once, it hurt a little, and that was that. Then one night, we tried again (years later), I was relaxed from coming a lot, and it felt wonderful. I was hooked after that.

Frequency? Not as often as I would like! We only do it about 1 or twice a month (anal that is, not regular!).

Problems? I have never had problems with things not, er, closing up properly afterwards. A few times, my "insides" for lack of a better term, is achy - but I think that is from the intense muscle spasms during intense orgasms, not the act of anal itself.

I have never had to use lube except the natural secretions from my own body. Then again, I think that is because I'm soaking by the time we get to the anal from having a bunch of orgasms. I wouldn't recommend not using lube though. I just seem lucky that way and I like the way he feels slipping, pushing inside me when I'm not completely "ready" for it there.

Umm, well now I'm all hot and bothered!

 

[casilda]

good resource

I found a good resource on anal sex that I hadn't seen before- it even addresses the problem of future incontinence and muscle control.

Ask the Anal Advisor

http://www.puckerup.com/anal_advisor/anal.htm


Hope this helps, and hope you're enjoying yourself

Casilda

 

[jenjen]

Anal sex is soo much fun once you get the hang of it! You have to plan ahead, like, I know that I want my sweetie to do me that way tonight, so this afternoon before he comes home from work I will sort of take care of things to make sure I am ready for him.
People often ask, "Will it be messy, what can I expect?" Well, make sure you have done your bathroom business for the day, and then hop into the tub or the shower. And then when you are getting yourself all cleaned up and relaxed, massage yourself and loosen yourself up, just a bit...infact, if you put your own finger into yourself then (this might sound gross) you will know if you are clean enough for playing later on, or if you need to do the enema thingy, (I have a small bottle that I fill with warm water if I need to) you dont need any surprises and it will help you know that you are clean and good to go, then have a few beers, kick back with your man tonight, get out the Astroglide, KYjelly or whatever and relax...and enjoy your self.....even now, when my boyfriend pushes up to me, I say, "I cant do it" and he tells me to relax, and breathe out....then he goes a bit farther and says relax ...go inch by inch and you will get the hang of it. Missionary style is awesome since you can have your hands free to work your clit while he is in your ass!