A complex question...

[RPGer]

Please read through before responding.
I was recently rereading Salish's Desert Chemistry. The heart of this story is a woman who, at least since College, only finds women attractive. She has a male coworker with whom she becomes best friends, and finally realizes she is in love with. It ends with them living happily ever after (including sexual satisfaction) but, aside from her husband, still only finding women attractive.
In the recent comments was someone flaming the author saying that it could never happen and that it just perpetuates the myth that lesbians just need to find the right guy to go straight. I a not such an idiot as to believe this myth, but I do like to believe love is where you find it.
So the question: Could a person be a really strongly slanted bi where this story's premise could come true (or reverse where gay man falls for a woman)? What I would like is not opinions, but if any of you personally know of such a case.
Thank you

 

[stickygirl]

Yes - a friend of mine moved in with a gay guy when she moved university to finish her doctorate. She laughing told me she'd cured him and they are aiming to marry next year when she finishes her PhD.

There is only one anon critical comment, the rest are complimentary.

Why shouldn't someone revise their conclusions about sexual orientation? All they have to do is hand in their lesbian or gay badge. That people often lose friends as a result, well, what does that say about their friends?

 

[Laplaciana]

I was a gold star lesbian until I was about 30. Then I started being attracted to some men. I was quite mortified, since I was afraid that I was turning het, and the fall-out wasn't pretty.

My attractions are still mostly to women, but now they contain a small percentage of men.

 

[bluesky496]

Please read through before responding.
I was recently rereading Salish's Desert Chemistry. The heart of this story is a woman who, at least since College, only finds women attractive. She has a male coworker with whom she becomes best friends, and finally realizes she is in love with. It ends with them living happily ever after (including sexual satisfaction) but, aside from her husband, still only finding women attractive.
In the recent comments was someone flaming the author saying that it could never happen and that it just perpetuates the myth that lesbians just need to find the right guy to go straight. I a not such an idiot as to believe this myth, but I do like to believe love is where you find it.
So the question: Could a person be a really strongly slanted bi where this story's premise could come true (or reverse where gay man falls for a woman)? What I would like is not opinions, but if any of you personally know of such a case.
Thank you

i have a very dear friend who married a guy who she loves dearly but her sexual preference is for women ,she is and always will be a lesbian and her husband understands and accepts that is who she is and is still very much in love with her ,we laugh about her comments that i make a better looking woman than the ones she dates but that is another story .

 

[haurni]

Sexual and romantic interests don't necessarily have to be 100% in line with each other. I don't see why it isn't possible. Probably not frequent, but not impossible.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It happens. I had a long on-off-on-off relationship with somebody whose Official Sexual Orientation didn't include me. Erika Moen's webcomic "Dar" discusses how she ended up marrying a guy after years of self-defining as lesbian.

Popular takes on it include:
- they were always bi and just didn't realise it
- they were always bi, knew it, but were lying to their partners
- orientation is sometimes mutable
- orientation is a generalisation to which there can be exceptions
- different rules for physical vs emotional attraction

Complications:
- some lesbians REALLY don't want to sleep with a partner who might be attracted to men
- if you're using "gay people should have rights because they're born that way and can't help it" as an argument for gay rights, mutable orientation/exceptions to orientation are inconvenient.
- even when true, these stories encourage guys in the "she's just lesbian because she hasn't encountered the majesty of MY johnson!" mindset.

(Personally, I think that's more of a reason not to use that argument than to harsh on those people.)