A Cliche About Love

[lavender]

 

[Dillinger]

I don't think its true - it IS a cliche - though perhaps if one is happy with oneself then one is in a better postion to find love.

I would, however, forward the postulate that in finding love one might actually also learn to love oneself.

 

[lobito]

I don't think you have to love yourself to love someone else.

 

[Jim_Henson]

If its true, I guess I'm in trouble.

I dont believe it is however.

Maybe they are supposed to love the bits you cant.

 

[lavender]

 

[Calamity Jane]

I don't think it's absolutely true, but I think it's healthier for a person to be comfortable with themselves before entering a relationship.

In my experience, if I wasn't comfortable in my own skin, I relied on the guy too much to validate me. Not a healthy situation. The flip side of that is, the more comfortable I became with myself during those relationships, the less comfortable the guy was with me. I outgrew my need for him.

 

[littlekateyes]

There is the old cliche that you cannot love someone else until you love yourself.

Do you find this to be true?

If you find this to be true, doesn't this truly limit what we believe is love? Doesn't it also make us question whether our partner, significant other, whatever actually loves us?

Honestly, I believe you need to love yourself before you can love others. If you can love yourself you are more prone not to let people miss treat you.

 

[StrawberryPez]

Maybe they are supposed to love the bits you cant.

That's what i was going to say. I think if you love someone, they will teach you to love who you are.

 

[april-wine]

Personally I think it is easier to love someone else....Way easier than loving yourself, we are always harder on ourselves than anyone else....We are always willing to see the best in a potential mate...Always seeing the flaws in ourselves first....

The best anyone can hope for is to be comfortable in your own skin....To feel ok with yourself....I doubt I would ever feel great about myself....That I leave to my lover....

 

[Lancecastor]

If you truly love yourself you don't need to look for love.

It'll just happen. That's the way it works.

Be the best You you can be and you'll be inundated with suitors.

 

[Weevil]

There is the old cliche that you cannot love someone else until you love yourself.

Do you find this to be true?

If you find this to be true, doesn't this truly limit what we believe is love? Doesn't it also make us question whether our partner, significant other, whatever actually loves us?

I've usually found that after I love myself I'm too tired to love anyone else.

 

[lavender]

 

[seXieleXie]

i don't think it is necesary. i think you have more to give to a relationship if you already know how to love yourself, but it isn't a requisite.

 

[Jim_Henson]

Thanks Eebees.. needed that

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

I do know that if you have a problem with hate, it's probably because you hate yourself.

 

[Dillinger]

But, if you have to find love to learn to love yourself, are you looking for love out of need or looking for love as an extension of self? Are you looking for someone to fulfill or looking for someone to complement yourself?

What happens when that love is gone or the love dwindles? Does your self-worth dwindle as well?

I didn't say that you "have to" find love to learn to love yourself - I just said that perhaps in finding love one might also learn to love oneself. I don't think they're all necessarily inseparable. You can love yourself and not be in love. You can be in love but perhaps not love yourself (though I think knowing that someone loves you gives you a greater sense of yourself - if you're open enough to accept that love.)

If love is gone - does self worth dwindle as well? Perhaps, in some cases - yes it does.

Nothing here is cut and dry. Nothing here is exactly the same for one person as it is for another.

But I will state what I recently stated on another thread and have said over and over again in one form or another. You might not agree with me, but it is what I truly believe:

Love cannot be diminished, it can only be multiplied. Love is boundless. Love is endless. Love begets more love.

 

[Starfish]

I think you can love and not love yourself, but it is better if you do.

I think others are attracted to those who are confidant, happy, secure, and who love themselves. It is an idealism we all want.

Really, I just said this to Storm the other day. These are my only thoughts on self love's lacking in the world, and how we are too hard on ourselves.

It isn't often that you meet a person with a true and healthy amount of self esteem, as it seems that many are dissolute to riddle themselves with self doubt, which only serves as a means to fortify and prolong our own vices. But when you think of the potential in all of us to recognize it in others when we do see it, and to desire and long for it ourselves, you'd think more of us would simply gift ourselves with higher valuation to our characters, regardless of the abuses laid on us externally through life, since afterall, self esteem is a gift that no one else can give us.


And self esteem is a very very admirable characteristic in people.

It is nice and refreashing to see others care about themselves enough.... to cut themselves some slack.

 

[Guest]

I wasn't paying attention.


No wonder you don't love me.

 

[sunstruck]

Interesting thought bump

 

[KillerMuffin]

You have the cliche wrong, Lavs.

Others cannot love you until you love yourself. Outside of familial love, this is a true statement.

Loving others is boundless, anyone can love another and hate themselves. Getting love is more difficult. If you don't think you're lovable, you are going to behave like someone who isn't lovable, and that makes it difficult to love you. So difficult, in fact, that you won't get the love you need because you're doing everything you can to sabatoge it.

 

[perks]

She's pretty smart for a muffin.

 

[sexy-girl]

i agree with what killer muffin said ... although i dont think it has to be quite loving yourself maybe just like ?

but if you do hate yourself its going to be hard for someone to love you ... not impossible but i think it would be impossible to make a relationship work if one half hates him/herself

 

[LordOfDarkness]

thats right...

That's what i was going to say. I think if you love someone, they will teach you to love who you are.

you're so wise...

 

[sufisaint]

How can you truly give something you don't have...you can go throug the motions but your not really loving...that has to come from within yourself.

 

[sexy-girl]

is it just me or is lavender about the most loved up person on literotica at the moment