A challenge: Conceit

[KillerMuffin]

Quoted from somewhere:

Conceit: "An extended metaphor." That is the usual definition, but a conceit is more complex, more involved. A conceit not only extends the image, but it develops the ideas and metaphor into a new, even surprising direction. [This is the signature of the metaphysical poet.]

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Quoted from somewhere else:

Metaphor: a direct comparison of two things (for example, “hey, outhouse breath”).

Extended Metaphor: a comparison of two things which extends beyond the range of a single line.

Conceit: an exaggerated metaphor which relates two very dissimilar things.
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I got them all mixed up.


The Challenge:

Show me some conceit, baby. This could be cool coming from some of all ya'll.

 

[Savage Kitten]

Hi Ya Muffy

K, since I am gonna step in the stuff first, and mostly likely I'll be wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy off here. I am gonna steal your example and see if I can conceit for ya.


"Hey, Outhouse breath! How about flossing the flies outta your teeth and air out a bit. You sure don't smell like no bed of roses!!"


hehe cheesy I know. I'll give it a better try once I see a few ol pros at it

Sk~

 

[The_Fool]

I dunno. It sounded right when I first started.....

I watch her
Sitting at a table
Glass of white wine
Toe tapping to a catchy tune
Playing on the jukebox.
I see her cigarette glow
As she takes a drag.
She exhales a stream of smoke,
Through her smile
As she catches my eye.
Her cigarette glows cherry
Her eyes smolder dark
Embers in a fire
Of Lust,
My lust.
Dark disguises my thoughts
In a jukebox joint.
Music wavers gray
Through the room
Circling the lovers
Tying them close together
In knots we all can’t see
But they can’t break
As they lean in close
To whisper lust
Above a syncopated beat.
A momentary silence
Catches my eye.
When I turn back
It’s to a fading ember
And a smoke trail
Disappearing into the crowd.

 

[champagne1982]

Hey!
Penis features,
Cock-nosed freak with
That pathetic tuft of pubic hair
Covering your bald spot.
Those jowls hanging down
Making wattles,
Your saggy ball sack
Dangling
From your chin.

Fuckin' dickhead!

 

[denis hale]

Rising to the...

Wow Kitty
you really inspired me!


Thank You too KM!


DOUBLE EXPOSURE (c) 2003 D. Hale

Pretty
hard p i n k
pouty nipple pinched
under painted nail,

trail of an earnest fingertip
along frank and open cleft,

dyslexic peach pit
d cups are
the double dots
on tight wet slit
of unbearable braille
exclamation point

going down on itself
back to front

to and froth

and
back again

like tomorrow there's
no

when

you step into my mirror
baby feel it see
how w e t you're
hard for me

stay right stop
don't there

just keep on
right stare into

the mind's eye
it masturbates
all

rolled back
to the very whites
in the glass

see now
how it
reiterates over
and over

and over:

How Beautiful
And Fucked We Are!

 

[Icingsugar]

You are so fucking runneth over,
goddamn cup, my caffeine.
My fix, so warm, smooth, sugar creamy,
morning glory, breakfast queen.

You stand so fucking stripped before me
Pour you, open up the heat.
Let me know that you're my only
morning fucking glory treat.



Not all that good, but it is a whatsitsname, right?

 

[The_Fool]

Okay, I slept on it. I like this better....


Dark disguises my thoughts
In a jukebox joint.
Music wavers gray
Through the room
Circling the lovers
Tying them close
In knots no other can see
But they can’t break
As they lean in close
To whisper lust
Above a syncopated beat.
I watch her
Sitting at a table
Glass of white wine
Toe tapping to a catchy tune
Playing on the jukebox.
I see her cigarette glow
As she takes a drag.
She exhales a stream of smoke
Through her smile
As she catches my eye.
Her cigarette glows cherry,
Her eyes smolder dark,
Embers in a fire.
A momentary silence
Catches my eye.
When I turn back
It’s to a fading ember
And a translucent winding trail
Disappearing into the crowd.