a butch's paradise in one year...

[Stella_Omega]

So our local GLBT organisation has listened to the lesbian contingent.

can you believe it? I kinda am flabbergasted, because lesbians are a minority amongst a minority, and we generally have less political clout and are such a small marketplace demographic for so many things-- but this time, some listening was done. And the organistaion has rescinded it's invitation to hetero Doms to be strutting their stuff on the asses of women in the erotica party, where they used to be able to do that. Because the erotica tent is open to vanilla folk, and for many lesbians, seeing a man dominate a woman triggers anger, grief, fury and guns, even though the domination is consensual, and even though the lesbian knows the domination is consensual.

it's a little bit unexpected. And I am stll unsure as to what the actual wording is, and at first I was all "those poor domly men, they are actually experiencing a little bit of the discrimination that the rest of us have gotten, well-- maybe this will help them understand, and maybe they want to figure out ways to present themselves in a different light."

But over the week, i have listened to them beat they chesties, andd froth at the mouth, and demand justice and compare themselves-- actually a young (and white and pretty) woman compared herself-- with malcolm freaking X, and no one said a word to her, and when I asked the guys: "Let's think about ways to help the lesbian vanilla contingent feel better about having you there," I got bupkiss.

Now they are talking about "if one of us goes, we all go" (because the organisers said that sub men, and female dommes could be there, since women dominating men doesn't trigger vanilla lesbians in quite the same fashion, so i guess they are talking about somehow making friends with the straight male submissive types and getting them to boycott the party too. or something like that. or maybe they think they can convince the gay men to stay away?

So I'm thinking that, if they are successful, and no heteros showed up at all-- that would be... well, kind of awesome, actually. I would just have to try to satisfy as many kink-curious women as I could even if I died trying...

What a way to go!

But mostly I am so very grateful to the organisation for putting women's needs first. because we usually can't do big moeny donations, but we give a hella lot of time and labor. it's nice to see that buys us respect the way that money does.

 

[haurni]

I gather from what you've said that this event is intended to cater to, or showcase, kinks and alternative sexuality in general. And that the issue in the exclusion of hetero (male) doms is the fact that male domination of women rubs some people the wrong way. (If I'm mistaken, just skip the rest of this post )

Something like this is always going to be a political (correctness) balancing act. Are all hetero male groups being banned? And, as men in our current world dominate women (collectively, at least), should not all males therefore be excluded? What about lesbian dominatrices who are reinforcing the prevailing social attitude that dominating women is acceptable? (but it's only acceptable when done by another woman?? ) Are you celebrating alternative sexuality or women's liberation?

The organizers need to clarify for themselves what is the goal of the event. To promote alternative modes of sexual expression in general? Or to promote homosexual sexual expression? If the latter, it's a gay pride event and you should be excluding all the straights by default. If you want to split hairs, you can then sit down and try to figure out on which side of the fence the cross-dressing males are. Or bisexuals. Or lesbian FTM transsexuals.

If it's a big tent, why not just put the hetero male doms at the far end? Somewhat tongue-in-cheek (I assume that rimming will be in the show somewhere? ), I might suggest that the organizers arrange the various groups along a 'straight-to-gay' axis, so that visitors who might be uncomfortable with depictions of gay sexuality can stick to one end of the tent, and the homosexuals can congregate at the other. The bis can hang out in the middle and nobody has to rub shoulders with anyone they would prefer to stay away from.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Naw, haurni... I plan to absolutely revel in the not-thereness of het men. WHAT a CONCEPT!

Don't get me wrong, I like het guys somewhat, honest. Some of my best friends and all that. But-- Men generally are bigger than me, louder than me, stronger than me, more privileged than I am, get more girls than I do (since most women are hetero as well), have more money to spend and more impulse to spend it on themselves, and I get tired of the ways in which the competition is stacked against me.

This is not feminism, believe me. This is clearing out the competitors, just for one night out of the year!

To get serious for a moment though, your suggestions are the most constructive ones that I have heard yet. The organisers haven't issued any further statement yet-- they have most of a year to do so. I'll pass your suggestions on, actually.

 

[infinity706]

Women generally are bigger than me, louder than me, stronger than me, more privileged than I am, get more girls than I do (since most women are bisexual as well), have more money to spend and more impulse to spend it on themselves, and I get tired of the ways in which the competition is stacked against me.

Honestly, this has been my experience with women I've worked with (especially considering over 85% of my bosses have been women). Of course, I get more guys because I'm, well, easier. Said women don't really want straight guys to know that they're stronger and bi, though. Serveral of them can't even lift a computer monitor in the presence of most guys.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Umm... Are you saying then that my experience is wrong and I am in fact taller, stronger, richer, and sexier to het women, then most men are?

What the hell have I been hallucinating all these decades, dammit! Get me out of this matrix, I want a better one!

This must be some man's matrix. it sure isn't mine.

Dude most of those women you call bisexual? Only from your standpoint. Not mine. My idea of bisexual is a little further along that "she kissed another girl and liked getting licked, and she went home with her boyfriend."

 

[teknight]

Umm... Are you saying then that my experience is wrong and I am in fact taller, stronger, richer, and sexier to het women, then most men are?

What the hell have I been hallucinating all these decades, dammit! Get me out of this matrix, I want a better one!

This must be some man's matrix. it sure isn't mine.

Dude most of those women you call bisexual? Only from your standpoint. Not mine. My idea of bisexual is a little further along that "she kissed another girl and liked getting licked, and she went home with her boyfriend."

How many additional notches on your headboard (or St. Andrew's cross) do you expect the morning after the event, Stella?

 

[Little_Oral_Amy]

Tackles and pulverizes Teknight and runs away laughing with teasing eyes and a smile.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

My idea of bisexual is a little further along that "she kissed another girl and liked getting licked, and she went home with her boyfriend."

Nothing constructive to add outside of~

Damn, I am jealous...

and the above statement has been QFT because of it's sheer awesomeness

 

[Safe_Bet]

Nothing constructive to add outside of~

Damn, I am jealous...

and the above statement has been QFT because of it's sheer awesomeness

'XACTLY!!!!!

I love how men and many of the 5% Bi'ers try to imply the Kinsey Scale is linear and that all non 100% straight/queer people are equally orientated. ::eye roll::

Great post BTW, Stella. I can SERIOUSLY symathize with the anger at Dom Hetero men because it comes WAY too fucking close to what many of us have experienced.

 

[infinity706]

Umm... Are you saying then that my experience is wrong and I am in fact taller, stronger, richer, and sexier to het women, then most men are?

What the hell have I been hallucinating all these decades, dammit! Get me out of this matrix, I want a better one!

This must be some man's matrix. it sure isn't mine.

Dude most of those women you call bisexual? Only from your standpoint. Not mine. My idea of bisexual is a little further along that "she kissed another girl and liked getting licked, and she went home with her boyfriend."

I don't mean your experience is wrong. It's just different than mine. Of course, I've worked with a lot of women over 6 feet tall, that could easily bench press me.

As far as not being bisexual, a lot of them do have boyfriends they live with. That doesn't stop them from going on dates with thier girlfriends and regularly spending time at each others' houses, though.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Nothing constructive to add outside of~

Damn, I am jealous...

and the above statement has been QFT because of it's sheer awesomeness

if you could get out here next summer... I have no fucking clue if there even are any other top women in Los Angeles!

Meanwhile, the guys who are bitching about all of this, puffing and pompous-ing, uttering vague threats, and complaining that they ... well, I can't even figure out what they.

Remind me, someone of why I think I like men? Times like this, i just want to be one of infinity's Valkyrie bosses and benchpress a double handful of whiny babies through the wall.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Remind me, someone of why I think I like men? Times like this, i just want to be one of infinity's Valkyrie bosses and benchpress a double handful of whiny babies through the wall.

NO!

 

[haurni]

And don't get me wrong, Stella (and ladies). I applaud the idea of a women's-only event, or a lesbians-only event, or whatever whatever-only event you want to have. Solidarity! Woo! You go girl, etc. etc.

All I'm saying is that the organizers need to know who their target audience is. Don't advertise it as a 'kink' event then exclude half the kinky people on the planet just because they're men. Be honest and say who it's for. Don't claim one thing for political correctness' sake and then try to weasel out of it by finding reasons to exclude people (though I could see having issues, with, say, NAMBLA or *ahem* dog lovers).

In my opinion, it's better to be honest rather than being sneaky while trying to look honest. But then, I also feel that it's more constructive to build bridges than fences.

And do you have a link for this event, Stella?

Whoever it turns out to be for, I hope you have a good time.

 

[Stella_Omega]

haurni, yeah. I talked to someone today who claims it was handled terribly. Like totally embarrassing and bad.

From what they said, thsi change actually happened this year-- there was no prior notice-- the Mdoms were met and told they could not go up and perform, after being welcomed in prior years. I didn't understand that. That's bad form.

Why yes, there has been a change of board members, what makes you ask?