A 36 year old male virgin...

[CrazyOldLady]

Ell now that I have everyone's attention...It seems I have (kind of) found some one who may really be worth looking into, and dating...

But there is something unusual about this man... We have hung out many times in the last several weeks and happened upon the oddest topic of conversation... He confessed that he is a virgin...At 36 years old..And seeing all his accomplishments and learning more and more about the man..I am inclined to believe him..(Can we say sublimation???!!!) I was really taken back. I know also that he is PAINFULLY SHY, and all in all a good man. He is a Jr High School teacher. He has a close family and very stable back ground...Yada yada yada...

I get the feeling that if I DO decide that he is substantial dating material, this is eventually going to be an issue... I have been all over the internet, looking for something to possibly e-mail him..I mean the man is most assuredly aware of the physical biology of it, but I am pretty certain that he would need some real advice on the "grace" of the matter..You know, the details leading up to the "physical biology" of the act... Any of you readers feel like writing me something to give to him as perhaps a detailed "guide" of sorts??

I think it may be of some assistance to read a few pieces of advice and experiences from other people..He is SO SOCIALLY cherry in general!!! I would love for some advice and whatever else, to e-mail him so that he can read things on his own time... Thank you so much!

 

[sr71plt]

I'm wondering how many other women he's dated have gotten around to giving him advice and sending him Internet ditties on touchy subjects (not to mention talking about their relationship on open chat room boards) and trying to redecorate him more than taking him at his own pace until/unless finding his comfort zones can't match theirs. Bet that has something to do with why he's still a virgin and in the "not taken" pool. Just sayin'.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I'm wondering how many other women he's dated have gotten around to giving him advice and sending him Internet ditties on touchy subjects and trying to redecorate him more than taking him at his own pace until/unless finding his comfort zones can't match theirs. Bet that has something to do with why he's still a virgin and in the "not taken" pool. Just sayin'.

It's funny that you should answer her post because she's writing about you, Virgin.

 

[sr71plt]

It's funny that you should answer her post because she's writing about you, Virgin.

Oh, my, someone must have gotten Freddie's goat.

 

[Guest]

Ell now that I have everyone's attention...It seems I have (kind of) found some one who may really be worth looking into, and dating...

But there is something unusual about this man... We have hung out many times in the last several weeks and happened upon the oddest topic of conversation... He confessed that he is a virgin...At 36 years old..And seeing all his accomplishments and learning more and more about the man..I am inclined to believe him..(Can we say sublimation???!!!) I was really taken back. I know also that he is PAINFULLY SHY, and all in all a good man. He is a Jr High School teacher. He has a close family and very stable back ground...Yada yada yada...

I get the feeling that if I DO decide that he is substantial dating material, this is eventually going to be an issue... I have been all over the internet, looking for something to possibly e-mail him..I mean the man is most assuredly aware of the physical biology of it, but I am pretty certain that he would need some real advice on the "grace" of the matter..You know, the details leading up to the "physical biology" of the act... Any of you readers feel like writing me something to give to him as perhaps a detailed "guide" of sorts??

I think it may be of some assistance to read a few pieces of advice and experiences from other people..He is SO SOCIALLY cherry in general!!! I would love for some advice and whatever else, to e-mail him so that he can read things on his own time... Thank you so much!

Leave your testicle flogger at home.

 

[CrazyOldLady]

Oh yeah, one more thing, he isn't all that up to speed on the technological age..He is kind of odd that way..He(due to his being super shy) he hasn't dated anyone in ages..He doesn't have a cell phone, still has a land line and finally got a computer a couple years ago. He doesn't spend much time on it, as it is still on dial up!!! Good lord its slow... He doesn't have cable or anything either..So yeah, he kind of remains in his safety bubble, restoring his carS...and continuing to build on his house...

 

[CrazyOldLady]

I'm wondering how many other women he's dated have gotten around to giving him advice and sending him Internet ditties on touchy subjects (not to mention talking about their relationship on open chat room boards) and trying to redecorate him more than taking him at his own pace until/unless finding his comfort zones can't match theirs. Bet that has something to do with why he's still a virgin and in the "not taken" pool. Just sayin'.

Ah, very nice...

That is the beauty of being anonymous on this site...You don't know me, I nor do you know him. All faces saved.... It is a subject I am not certain HOW to approach verbally, hence Why I am here, seeing if anyone has a better way of doing so. It IS a delicate matter and I would like to make sure I cover any perspectives I can.. I am MUCH better at writing about these sorts of things than speaking of them...Another reason why I am here. Once any good information is gotten it will be compiled and forwarded..

Jeez, who whizzed in your Wheaties this morning?

 

[sr71plt]

Ah, very nice...

That is the beauty of being anonymous on this site...You don't know me, I nor do you know him. All faces saved.... It is a subject I am not certain HOW to approach verbally, hence Why I am here, seeing if anyone has a better way of doing so. It IS a delicate matter and I would like to make sure I cover any perspectives I can.. I am MUCH better at writing about these sorts of things than speaking of them...Another reason why I am here. Once any good information is gotten it will be compiled and forwarded..

Jeez, who whizzed in your Wheaties this morning?

No one whizzed in my Wheaties--well, maybe not until you posted this. I think this is one of the differences between female and male perspective (and the author Deborah Tannen seems to think so too). Men rarely either discuss their relationships around or approach relationships with redecorating their partner in mind--and women seem confused when they find the most men don't appreciate having that done to them. I suggest you are already losing this relationship by the direction in which you are heading. But then chances are good it wasn't going to be a good match to begin with.

Do remember that you posted on this; I didn't. You wanted reaction. I gave you a male perspective on it. Chances are that would be "his" reaction as well.

 

[CrazyOldLady]

You seriously...Completely...Missed the point...

 

[cloudy]

Why is this here? Wouldn't it have been better off in the "How To" forum?

 

[Katyusha]

Here's my advice: instead of looking for reading material on all the subtleties involved...when the relationship gets to that point, lead him yourself. That way he learns what *you* like in different situations. In my experience, all the book/reading knowledge about all the subtleties, the lead-ins, etc., in the world won't help him when it comes to being with *you.*

Remember to take this all slowly because he's so painfully shy; he's likely a virgin because of his shyness, even if he's been to a point where things *could* have happened. He'll have to relax on his own terms and get comfortable with you and with sexuality in general before anything happens.

 

[TE999]

This fellow strikes me as both socially and sexually repressed. He has a 'close' family, therefore he may be unduly influenced by his mother or another female family member. He appears to be sublimating his shyness and general uncertainty into academics and tinkering with cars. He's in control in those situations and feels more comfortable.

IMO he might become a good friend, but as a romantic interest or a future partner, no chance. He's set in his ways and that's that.

 

[CrazyOldLady]

This fellow strikes me as both socially and sexually repressed. He has a 'close' family, therefore he may be unduly influenced by his mother or another female family member. He appears to be sublimating his shyness and general uncertainty into academics and tinkering with cars. He's in control in those situations and feels more comfortable.

IMO he might become a good friend, but as a romantic interest or a future partner, no chance. He's set in his ways and that's that.

Tanks for the bit of insight! I will take it into consideration...

 

[CrazyOldLady]

I will take it into consideration..It seems like a great deal to consider..A big "responsibilty" in a way... The prospect spooks me quite a bit, as he initiated the interest and the topic.. I can express myslf in writing well, but I clam up on touchy subjects..Like this, I trip on my own tongue! LOL

Thank you for your response!

 

[CrazyOldLady]

Yeah I saw that about 20 mins after I posted this...I have a devil of a time navigating this site...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Check out the information in this thread;
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=652377

 

[Verdad]

I can't decide if the question is for real, but supposing it is, supplying this guy with 'advice' should be the last thing on your mind.

First, because he doesn't need any. By his age, he's absorbed every bit of theoretical info he ever wanted to absorb and then some. If there's something of theoretical/technical nature he's never heard of, it's because he doesn't want to know, and shoving it down his throat won't change it. The only thing these 'advices' could maybe accomplish would be to make him feel more nervous and more pressured.

Even if his issue were inexperience only, I could think of quite a few things I'd do with an inexperienced hottie, and none of them would involve any reading. The idea is actually very appealing when I think about it in those terms, so I can understand even less why you'd want to fill his head with 'info' instead of enjoy the actual exploration.

But his issue is not sexual inexperience only. Contrary to pretty erotic fantasies of ripe virgins of either sex who are perfect in every way but just need a right person to come along and pluck them, he didn't get to be a virgin at that age by coincidence. It's practically a given that he has emotional issues, and the question is only of what kind and how severe.

That is not to say you should drop him—by no means—but you have to be aware of what you want and what you're getting into. If you're really into the guy, and provided he's into you too, there's almost nothing that can't work out great. It's just guaranteed to take a hell of a lot of patience. Go for it if you want him, but if you think handing him the written specifications will turn him in whatever pre-made idea of what you'd like him to be, you're in for an ever bigger disappointment than that kind of thinking usually yields.

 

[jomar]

Guys aren't that complicated. Bonk him on the head and shag him. If he can't get it up for you he's gay.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Guys aren't that complicated. Bonk him on the head and shag him. If he can't get it up for you he's gay.

I'm going to have to agree with this advice. Unless he has some major issues, he's probably ready to go. He may be finished before you even take your clothes off the first time around, but you should give him a chance. Far as the technology thing goes, it might be nice to date someone who doesn't have to text his friends to them he's banging you.

 

[Guest]

Why is this here? Wouldn't it have been better off in the "How To" forum?

Mebbe, but CrazyOldLady was at Litogether 2 last year and knows people here.

The testicle flogger reference was actually from that time. Ahem.

 

[Vermilion]

No one whizzed in my Wheaties--well, maybe not until you posted this. I think this is one of the differences between female and male perspective (and the author Deborah Tannen seems to think so too). Men rarely either discuss their relationships around or approach relationships with redecorating their partner in mind--and women seem confused when they find the most men don't appreciate having that done to them. I suggest you are already losing this relationship by the direction in which you are heading. But then chances are good it wasn't going to be a good match to begin with.

Do remember that you posted on this; I didn't. You wanted reaction. I gave you a male perspective on it. Chances are that would be "his" reaction as well.

Not sure exactly who has the right or wrong of things here, but I might suggest that if this guy is as shy as you report, then sending him a whole glut of explicit sex data might cause him to implode. Why not approach this as you have if you guys had been 18 and he was a virgin. Give him a kiss, make it last forever and wait for him to take the iniative as and when he is comfortable with it. Whether that's moving down to kiss your neck, or grabs your boobs it doesn't matter, but trying to run before you can walk will end up with both of you taking a bad fall.
Hope this helps
x
V

 

[Handley_Page]

Not sure exactly who has the right or wrong of things here, but I might suggest that if this guy is as shy as you report, then sending him a whole glut of explicit sex data might cause him to implode. Why not approach this as you have if you guys had been 18 and he was a virgin. Give him a kiss, make it last forever and wait for him to take the iniative as and when he is comfortable with it. Whether that's moving down to kiss your neck, or grabs your boobs it doesn't matter, but trying to run before you can walk will end up with both of you taking a bad fall.
Hope this helps
x
V

Here Here.
"Gently, Gently, catchee monkey"

 

[sr71plt]

All of this is still manipulation of the guy to redecorate him to the woman's tastes. Still all about the woman's wants. I hope he escapes.