9 1/2 Weeks - Corny?

[ArumDracunculus]

Hello,
I'm new here, and not sure if this question is in the right forum. It's basically a "what do you think?" combined with a "how do you do it without looking like a dork?" question.
So far this site has been VERY informative.

I'll give you a little background. I was married for a long time and the sex was incredibly dismal the whole time. Then, I was alone for a good while, by choice.
I've reconnected with someone from my past, and we are 'in love.' The sex is better than any I've ever had. But, I've been a bit shy about some things...lingerie, talking dirty, etc. I've managed to across a bit because I know it makes him so happy, and it makes me feel good, too.
Right now we are in a long distance relationship. So, our time together is precious, and I try to come up with little things to please him. I am driving to see him tomorrow.

He's alluded a few times to "9 1/2 Weeks". Once he poured orange juice down back and my ass and licked it up. I think it's something he might like.

So, I went out today and bought a bunch of sex food. Strawberries, chocolate sauce, Reddi-Whip, smoked oysters, cheese, and champagne. I was going to pack it in a cooler and take it with and surprise him.

Is this too corny? Will he like it? Will he think it's overkill?
How do you do it without looking like a dork? Where do you put this stuff? What do you do with the Reddi-Whip?

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I assure you that it's a serious question.
Thanks!

 

[ReadyOne]

Ever taken a cake decorating class?

Consider tieing him up so he can't move while you decorate him. Then you can take as long as you wand to clean him up without him grabbing you, slamming you to the mattres, and fucking your brains out.

Heck, you can do all the work. Be a real role reversal, and probably a good turnon for him.

Of course he'll find a way to take his revenge, hopefuly sweet (for both of you) revenge...

(There's a lot of info about tieing and restraints in the BDSM forum.)

 

[ArumDracunculus]

Well, he is the one that likes to do the tieing up. Once he tied me up and extracted a rather elaborate fantasy from me (told you I was shy about talking) that I had hinted at that involved tieing him up. Later I asked him if he would like to be tied up, and he said no. So...I don't really want to lay the whole shebang on him at one time.
And, I think he would enjoy it more if he were an active participant. Especially because he has obviously done some thinking about this.

But, sadly, no--I have never taken a cake decorating class. Heck, I don't even bake! Cookies or anything...
So, where do you put it on him? Any special places? And, how do you yield a can of Reddi-Whip with savoir-faire?

I'm already anticipating some sweet revenge. He told me I was a bad girl last night for "making him" have phone sex, and that he was going to think about how to make me pay. He's very inventive.

Thanks for your reply.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

corny--->never

 

[midwestyankee]

Don't even begin to worry about savoir-faire. Just put stuff where you think you'd like to lick it from. And aside from the insides of his nostrils and eyes, there ain't much real estate there that's totally off limits.

 

[ArumDracunculus]

Okay, that makes sense.
I love his feet, maybe I'll start there. I do want to be a little more imaginative than just heading straight for his balls and cock.

Maybe that's what I think is corny about it. Hmmm....

 

[midwestyankee]

Okay, that makes sense.
I love his feet, maybe I'll start there. I do want to be a little more imaginative than just heading straight for his balls and cock.

Maybe that's what I think is corny about it. Hmmm....

The only way you're going to get truly corny about this would be to make use of those little tiny pickled ears of corn that Tom Hanks ate so carefully in Big.

Anything goes, baby, anything goes.

Enjoy!

 

[ArumDracunculus]

Thank you! I think I will enjoy.
I'll probably enjoy the look of utter incredulity on his face the most.

I think the champagne will help me figure out what to do, too.

 

[wicked woman]

Probably don't have enough time if you're going to see him tomorrow but did you ever think of renting 9 1/2 weeks? I'm sure it's the kitchen sex scene that excites him...does a number of us

No definitely not corny...

Three things....

1. listen to Yank....any place is fair game.
2. make sure to have a playful attitude...it's supposed to be fun.
3. save a few strawberries ...put then in your pussy and let him eat them out of you.

 

[abbey_kyle]

just something to consider: adding food to play may be arousing but I would suggest being careful with insertions. With fruit especially, sugar can cause some really nasty after issues such as infections and the like. So you may want to be careful putting whipped cream on your pussy or inserting a strawberry (consider those little seeds). I know this sounds overly cautious but I think a good rule of thumb is to be cautious when inserting anything into the vaginal area when you don't know how your body will react.

But whipped cream on the nipples is always a safe bet!

 

[asenath]

The food scene in that movie was disgusting. Ugh.. I feel ill just thinking about it.

 

[ArumDracunculus]

Thanks all for your input.

Here's what's so funny, though. We didn't even get around to it! We could barely pry our mouths (etc.) apart long enough to even eat for sustenance.
Oh well. That Reddi-Whip for keep in the fridge, I'm sure.