SEX_VAMPYRE
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2001
- Posts
- 1,273
7 Degrees Of Blonde
1st DEGREE:
A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the
morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone,
listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"
and hung up. The husband
said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting
to know 'if the coast is clear.'"
2nd DEGREE:
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a makeup compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me
see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in
the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
3rd DEGREE:
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She
opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome
with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells,
"No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
4th DEGREE:
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at
once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on
the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to
respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the
porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down
on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for
help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.
5th DEGREE:
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says,
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy:
W."
6th DEGREE:
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
7th DEGREE:
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a
scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped, "Your car looks like an accordion that
was stomped on by an elephant.
Are you OK ma'am?" "Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the
blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer
asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began.
"I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops
up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right
and there was
another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am, 'the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this
road for 30 miles.
That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
1st DEGREE:
A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the
morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone,
listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!"
and hung up. The husband
said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting
to know 'if the coast is clear.'"
2nd DEGREE:
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a makeup compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
"Here, let me
see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in
the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
3rd DEGREE:
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She
opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome
with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells,
"No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
4th DEGREE:
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at
once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on
the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to
respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the
porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down
on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for
help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.
5th DEGREE:
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says,
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy:
W."
6th DEGREE:
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
7th DEGREE:
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a
scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped, "Your car looks like an accordion that
was stomped on by an elephant.
Are you OK ma'am?" "Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the
blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer
asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began.
"I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops
up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right
and there was
another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am, 'the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this
road for 30 miles.
That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."