50 Shades of Grey movies, how many Good wives became Secret Sluts

[Roughscrewu]

I meet a few who wanted to try BDSM fir the first time.
Married from 10 to 20 years +

Any other Doms have that experience?
Any wives that explored after seeing one of the films?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Positive: It broadened awareness of D/s among people who might not have considered their own kinks before.
Negative: Taco Bell did this for Mexican food, and some people thought it was Mexican food.

But yeah, I do know women who love 50 Shades, and now it’s become a whole genre of dross. Maybe I should consume it drunk, like Taco Bell?

 

[Roughscrewu]

Great observation. I think it made some Vanilla wives want to eXplore

 

[Ginlover]

Sadly there are lots of men —mainly online — who capitalise on the curiosity of a woman reading 50 Shades then tells her consent and communication are not necessary in dynamic or kink. Just reading the stories of non consent posted by women on here in BDSM highlights this phenomena.

 

[CitrineSunshine]

I’ve never watched them because all my vanilla friends went nuts over them. I feel like they would just be housewife porn.. maybe one day I’ll force myself but I’d rather just watch porn.

 

[subslut20]

I know these books really opened my eyes to this community. I didn’t take the books very seriously though and did lots of research into bdsm. Once I started researching I couldn’t get enough. I haven’t had any real life experience with the kind of control I want another to wield over me but I can’t wait to find someone to help me with my needs!

 

[Mom_nxtdoor]

Guilty

 

[UtilityCurve]

I’ve never watched them because all my vanilla friends went nuts over them. I feel like they would just be housewife porn.. maybe one day I’ll force myself but I’d rather just watch porn.

But the alternatives were, practically, binary: Housewife porn or no porn.

Baby steps, as they say. I know this means you or I may not live long enough to reach the Promised Land (where we relinquish responsibility to "progress," having done our bit and now someone else can advance the ball while we enjoy ourselves, 'cause, y'know, life), but as much as I'd love to dine at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, I'm not making a reservation I will surely ghost on.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Positive: It broadened awareness of D/s among people who might not have considered their own kinks before.
Negative: Taco Bell did this for Mexican food, and some people thought it was Mexican food.

But yeah, I do know women who love 50 Shades, and now it’s become a whole genre of dross. Maybe I should consume it drunk, like Taco Bell?

Can’t really help you there. The only Mr Grey I know was played by Spader and I’ve never tried Taco Bell.

To me, it is hard to see how something like 50 shades or one of the earlier mainstream attempts at BDSM-ishness, like 91/2 weeks, would make you suddenly notice your kinks.
For me there were always things to be found in ”regular” movies and books and in life to make me realize that I reacted differently to some of it, compared to my friends.
I guess these books and movies that get talked about a lot, might make it easier to bring up the subject though, compared to ”Hey honey, you know that scene in the movie that was probably meant to be scary, was actually kind of hot... ”

 

[Payne_Hall]

For me there were always things to be found in ”regular” movies and books and in life to make me realize that I reacted differently to some of it, compared to my friends.
I guess these books and movies that get talked about a lot, might make it easier to bring up the subject though, compared to ”Hey honey, you know that scene in the movie that was probably meant to be scary, was actually kind of hot... ”

This. I know so many people with stories that back this up. One friend realized it because of Darth Vader in A New Hope, choking the guard out in that opening scene. Was back before the prequels existed. Another friend was over the moon about Pinhead from Hellraiser.

Although, to be fair, that first scene with Kirsty, Chatterer, and Pinhead was pretty great.

 

[Bramblethorn]

This. I know so many people with stories that back this up. One friend realized it because of Darth Vader in A New Hope, choking the guard out in that opening scene. Was back before the prequels existed. Another friend was over the moon about Pinhead from Hellraiser.

Although, to be fair, that first scene with Kirsty, Chatterer, and Pinhead was pretty great.

The BDSM overtones in Hellraiser are very deliberate though.

 

[AnnyMouse28]

I enjoyed both the books and the movies. I saw them more as a love story with a BDSM undertones than a story about a BDSM couple.

 

[jaF0]

Funny, nobody seems to remember poor 'O'.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Funny, nobody seems to remember poor 'O'.

Most BDSM practicing folks I know are familiar with The Story of O, many have read it, and most are familiar with the story. I think every single woman I know is familiar with 50 Shades of Grey. It hit mainstream in a way that Reage’s book didn’t and likely never will. It’s not as palatable. Not that 50 Shades should be as it represents BDSM pretty poorly, but it did inspire a significant number of people to consider BDSM, to at least think about their potential kinks.

 

[KimGordon67]

Most BDSM practicing folks I know are familiar with The Story of O, many have read it, and most are familiar with the story. I think every single woman I know is familiar with 50 Shades of Grey. It hit mainstream in a way that Reage’s book didn’t and likely never will. It’s not as palatable. Not that 50 Shades should be as it represents BDSM pretty poorly, but it did inspire a significant number of people to consider BDSM, to at least think about their potential kinks.

It's also a pretty shitty example of a relationship full stop, never mind the bdsm aspects. If some dude stalked me to a bar where I was drinking with my mates, decided I'd 'had enough', and then physically manhandled my best friend, he wouldn't be seeing me again, no matter what he had in his red room. (This is based on a relatively distant memory of the film, and maybe not 100% accurate, but I'm pretty sure I got the general gist of that scene.)

 

[AnnyMouse28]

It's also a pretty shitty example of a relationship full stop, never mind the bdsm aspects. If some dude stalked me to a bar where I was drinking with my mates, decided I'd 'had enough', and then physically manhandled my best friend, he wouldn't be seeing me again, no matter what he had in his red room. (This is based on a relatively distant memory of the film, and maybe not 100% accurate, but I'm pretty sure I got the general gist of that scene.)

Well she did call him drunk from the bar . . .

 

[KimGordon67]

Well she did call him drunk from the bar . . .

I actually just rewatched the scene ... he literally says 'Have you been DRINKING?', like it's some sort of moral outrage.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Funny, nobody seems to remember poor 'O'.

That one I have actually both read and seen.

Most BDSM practicing folks I know are familiar with The Story of O, many have read it, and most are familiar with the story. I think every single woman I know is familiar with 50 Shades of Grey. It hit mainstream in a way that Reage’s book didn’t and likely never will. It’s not as palatable. Not that 50 Shades should be as it represents BDSM pretty poorly, but it did inspire a significant number of people to consider BDSM, to at least think about their potential kinks.

Yes, I think there is a big difference in how mainstream it was and in how it was talked about. The fact that it took so long for the author to shed the pseudonym says a lot.

I think it’s interesting how some things get a pass as ”gigglehot” and some don’t. In some cases I get why and other times I’m really confused.

 

[Dantate]

Watched it like any other love story. Nothing too special about BDSM...

 

[ToPleaseHim]

It's also a pretty shitty example of a relationship full stop, never mind the bdsm aspects. If some dude stalked me to a bar where I was drinking with my mates, decided I'd 'had enough', and then physically manhandled my best friend, he wouldn't be seeing me again, no matter what he had in his red room. (This is based on a relatively distant memory of the film, and maybe not 100% accurate, but I'm pretty sure I got the general gist of that scene.)

Absolutely. The fact that it’s essentially Twilight fanfic (or at least started that way) helps it make sense. Christian is Edward and he’s trying to protect Ana/Bella by stalking her and attempting to control her every move, to save her from everything including herself. Both of these stories are wildly popular, but very bad examples of relationships. (I still read them and enjoyed them for what they were, I am a little ashamed to say.)

 

[Roughscrewu]

They were laughable as BDSM reality.
But I meet a few frustrated wives that wanted to try something new, Spanking, Bondage etc.
Wives that had been married 15 years + and had been 'good girls'

 

[Master_Doctor]

I meet a few who wanted to try BDSM fir the first time.
Married from 10 to 20 years +

Any other Doms have that experience?
Any wives that explored after seeing one of the films?

Ok first of all, as Im sure many have said before me, 50 shades books/movies are a horribly representation of people who really live the BDSM lifetsyle. I have a submissive who really loved them (because it was how she gained interest in the lifestyle) and so I went to all three movies with her. I would be generous if I said 10% of all three movies represented anything like real life.

This being said, and as I throw away my soap box, I will do the best to answer your real question based on my education and 20 plus years living 24/7 in the lifestyle. There are many reasons why happily married women find themselves as submissives while married to a vanilla husband.

1) While men have one sexual peak in our lived (late teens and early twenties) women have two such peaks. The second being usually in their late forties or later. So, sometimes they realize they have needs.. that their loving husbands just arent equipped to meet. If I had a nickle for every time a married woman asked me if she could train her husband to be the Dominant she needed... well I would not have to worry about student loans to say the least.

2) Many times, young people rush into marriage. They do so and have an unhealthy concept of what marriage is all about or what it takes. They go into it because the husband is a good guy, or he has a stable financial future. All good and serious reasons. But many get into a marriage before one or both realize what their sexual needs are. I have meet many women who realize they are submissive by nature and are otherwise very happy in their marriage. Hubby loves them, respects them, takes care of them. he just cant fulfill her as a submissive.

While I am Sure the same is true for opposite sexes than what I have described. My information is based on solid psychological evidence. Im just used to M/f D/s relationships. So please dont be offended by my descriptions being Male Dom and female submissive.

In me experience, meeting people, being in such relationships, and counselling frustrated married submissives to vanilla men, I find three responses.

1) the submissive wife faithfully struggles to be true to husband and never gets fulfilled. She might limit herself to porn or erotica. 2) The sub wife and her husband actually discuss the situation, and if he can recognize the her submissive nature are NEEDS and not just moods or wants, they make room for her to seek a Dominate outside the marriage (within boundaries) so she can have those needs met. Also if he can get past his ego. Im always impressed with these rare husbands... who love their wife enough to help her get her needs met regardless of personal ego. 3) More often, sadly, the wife either tries to talk with her husband (and is ignored) or she decides not to involve him for any number of reasons (she feels too guilty, she knows he will blow her off, she convinces herself that she has to keep this private, etc) and she ends up cheating. The biggest problem in my experience with this last one is that if they had done it above board and together, she would have been much safer in her search and would have a built in support system.

Trust me, Ive meet and tried to work with all of the above. I still have a number of friends that can be 1, 2, or 3.

If your question was a serious one, and not a tongue and cheek question. I hope this helps answer some of your questions. Being a natural, real submissive is a unique set of needs that needs to be addressed for the submissive (or Dominant for that matter) to be a fulfilled person.

 

[Primalex]

My take:

The only thing that 50 Shades did, is to tell men that women read and enjoy erotic novels and movies. I realized this fairly early, when I grabbed the pirate novel from my older sister, when I ran out of books to read. The lack of proper sea battles was fairly disappointing.

I guess there was a reminder necessary for the generation that didn't see 9 1⁄2 Weeks. (Fun fact - the name of the male protagonist in 9 1⁄2 Weeks: John Gray. I guess it's a literature trope by now - questionable characters have the last name Grey/Gray).

 

[IrisAlthea]

My take:

The only thing that 50 Shades did, is to tell men that women read and enjoy erotic novels and movies. I realized this fairly early, when I grabbed the pirate novel from my older sister, when I ran out of books to read. The lack of proper sea battles was fairly disappointing.

I guess there was a reminder necessary for the generation that didn't see 9 1⁄2 Weeks. (Fun fact - the name of the male protagonist in 9 1⁄2 Weeks: John Gray. I guess it's a literature trope by now - questionable characters have the last name Grey/Gray).

I guess the sea battles in those novels were about as realistic as the bare-knuckle fighting in Bridgertons?

I recently stumbled over a discussion on Goodreads about old romance novels and non-consent/rape. I reread some of the stuff I read as a teenager and there are things that might actually get thrown out if posted here.

Don’t remember the names from 91/2 weeks. I loved Mickey Rourke though, since I saw Rumble Fish I think.

 

[Islander55]

I read the "Story of O" many years ago. I found it interesting but primarily because I was young and not wise to the ways of the world. I also read the 50 Shades series and even without any BDSM knowledge, I did not think it was very realistic. It did give me the impetus to learn more when I got on Lit and have enjoyed browsing the threads.