32yr old male still a VIRGIN Looking for any HOT & SEXY college girls in BUFFALO NY NSA/HOOKUP SEX

[wjdixon]

I’m 32yrs old & I live in EAST AMHERST NY. I‘m SINGLE & I’m a VIRGIN. I live at home with parents because it’s expensive to find an apartment to move into. If there are any HOT college girls in BUFFALO NY who wanna hookup with me for NSA SEX PLZ MESSAGE ME on here. I wold be more happy if you wanted to bring another girl to join you. I look forward to hearing back from anyone who might be interested

 

[YourgirlfriendLaura]

Is this meant to be a joke?....I ignored your first post, but now you are doing it again and upping the ante, so I gotta ask: Are you kidding?

 

[ericalauren]

I’m 32yrs old & I live in EAST AMHERST NY. I‘m SINGLE & I’m a VIRGIN. I live at home with parents because it’s expensive to find an apartment to move into. If there are any HOT college girls in BUFFALO NY who wanna hookup with me for NSA SEX PLZ MESSAGE ME on here. I wold be more happy if you wanted to bring another girl to join you. I look forward to hearing back from anyone who might be interested

Oy vey.

 

[wjdixon]

Is this meant to be a joke?....I ignored your first post, but now you are doing it again and upping the ante, so I gotta ask: Are you kidding?

No I’m not kidding, I’ve had TWO different Girlfriends who have CHEATED on me & we never had sex & I’m a VIRGIN

 

[YourgirlfriendLaura]

No I’m not kidding, I’ve had TWO different Girlfriends who have CHEATED on me & we never had sex & I’m a VIRGIN

I did not think you were necessarily kidding about the Virgin part, I thought you were kidding because of your expectations and entitlement.
So, you seriously think two SUPER HOT 20 year olds ( basically the ultimate dream) and much younger then you, are going to come sex you up, (a much older stranger,) in your parents basement? You offer nothing to the deal and even volunteer you still live with the parents.....
I honestly thought you were imitating some of the worst ads here.....as a joke.
Oops. Sorry. Good luck with this.

 

[TossAwayFellow978]

No I’m not kidding, I’ve had TWO different Girlfriends who have CHEATED on me & we never had sex & I’m a VIRGIN

Okay. ... So. I have to admit, I'm sort of with Laura and Erica in that I didn't, at first, think this was a serious post. ... mostly because, if it was serious, it would make me incredibly sad.

But listen: last Christmas, I was visited in the night by three ghosts. tl;dr, my heart grew three sizes that day, and in the spirit of... Christmas... I would rather be helpful than mean right now.

So, let me offer you some pointers! Not that I'm like, Don Juan or whatever. But I do think of myself as a decent human being, and I've found that being a decent human being sometimes attracts other decent human beings who would like to get to know you. And sometimes these decent human beings are females who might be interested in you because of your basic decency.

So, in short, our mission statement here: be decent. If you click, then the fun and indecent parts will come about naturally.

First thing, my dude... your peculiar style of randomly presenting whole words in all-caps is... strange and potentially off-putting. This does not say "32 year old man who is bonable." It says "32 year old man who never broke 220 on the SAT verbal." We're in a textual place right now, so you want to convey that you are adept at communicating in text. Like, intelligently. So, don't do that thing where you go "looking for HOT & SEXY"... also, drop the ampersand. "And" is a three letter word, it does not require abbreviation. This just makes you look lazy – and if you're advertising for a potential sexy partner, laziness is definitely not a desirable trait.

Okay, next up: your subject line. It's wrong. It's all wrong. You would be, please forgive me, the proverbial beggar who cannot be a chooser. If you are hoping for "HOT & SEXY college girls," understand that you may have set your bar a bit too high. Because college girls have other options, against whom you would be competing. And you may not win this competition. So, perhaps you should decide you could be satisfied if your posting here attracted, say, a lonely 30-something single gal. Or, you know, whatever.

Your tragic backstory – having been in two relationships with unfaithful partners – suggests you would do well to seek out fellow singles... even if your... ahem, request that a prospective 20-something "bring a friend" suggests you have a hidden streak of polyamory?... Let's set that aside for now. Because it's kinda gross and my eyes vomit when I read over that part of your ad.

So, how about we re-title your ad to be something like "Looking for lonely singles in the Buffalo, NY area."

This reads as normal, non-creepy, and it immediately moves you up a couple of rungs on the ol' ladder o' humanity, way closer to something a human person would like to affirmatively respond to!

We're basically 50% there with just a subject change, pal. ... Now, let's hold our noses and dive into the content.

So, your first three sentences... lots of problems here. Let's patch them up a bit, shall we? Your first sentence is just fine: you give your age and location, indicating that you're looking for someone to meet out in the real world. That's fine! Declare your intentions right up front. Perfect. Second sentence... okay. I must say – and I'm sure you will not find anyone here who would argue me on this point – but you're brave to admit that you're a virgin here. We can get into a larger discussion of toxic masculinity, and the expectations placed upon young men and boys about sex and sexuality, but it's way far afield of the task at hand right now. But I want to step aside a moment and make sure you are commended for admitting this given all of that societal baggage. Regardless of however else anything in your post is read or interpreted, at its essence it's clear your ad is a desperate cry for intimacy from a lonely person. And that's brave.

... Your third sentence, though, is where you fail to read the room. While I think you should leave your second sentence as-is (because any prospective partner you were to find with such an ad should know this up front and be attracted to your vulnerability)... this third sentence just sort of reads like you're making excuses for your current condition. You can either leave out everything after "I live at home with [my] parents," or just leave this confession out of your ad entirely. (with the understanding that you will bring it up once you get an exchange of private messages going)

Trust me, we all live in the world, we're all aware that things are tough out there. It's exceedingly common for those of us in our 30s and 40s to have had to move back in with the folks for a time. I did my turn. I've known people who are currently in the midst of theirs. When you talk about this with someone you want to be intimate with, don't be ashamed of it. It can be a selling point, it can say a lot about you. How do you feel about your family? Are you close with them? A lot of women actually really value men who are on good terms with their family.

Or, maybe take this in a different direction. If this is something you're actively looking to change about your life, say so! Say you're looking for a place (which I would assume you're doing?). One thing women also value in men is the ability to solve problems. Talk this up in a way that expresses something like "yeah, I'm in a bad place now, but here's my plan for the future."

But save that for your PMs with respondents. Let's rewrite your first three sentences as such: "I'm 32 years old and I live in East Amherst, NY. I'm single and I'm a virgin. [third sentence stricken from the record]"

Possibly add another couple of sentences here to add some color and detail to the picture: who is it that we're talking about here? What interests do you have? Are you a dog or a cat person? What do you do for a living? How do you feel about cilantro? Give your readers something to work with here, something that says a thing about you as a person. What you have in your original text is rather threadbare; you're not giving anyone a reason to want to know more. Really, this should be the meat and potatoes of your ad: this is your chance to sell yourself, to throw a wink at the camera and do your little dance on the catwalk! Fucking blow them away with what an awesome man you are and the awesome things you're passionate about!!

Moving right along... you go into what you're looking for. This is really where your wheels came off the wagon. ... and then the wagon flipped across five lanes of traffic, spun into the lake and exploded, killing everyone on board. Metaphorically.

Real talk: "HOT college girls" are not going to message you based on the text of your original ad. They're just not. You can believe me, or don't, but your appeal for these "HOT college girls" to "PLZ MESSAGE ME on here" if they "wanna hookup with me for NSA SEX" is not so compelling as you may have believed when you first wrote it. Nor does your followup of "I wold [sic] be more happy if you wanted to bring another girl to join you" make the arrangement anymore meaningfully enticing.

Honestly, you're not asking here for anything that a fleshlight, lube and pornhub couldn't deliver for you.

In the above, we basically constructed a paragraph that was about selling yourself. Here, we should do something similar, except instead of describing you we're going to talk about the kind of woman you're most attracted to and who you want to be with.

The challenge for you, though, is to describe this woman without using the phrase "HOT college girls." Again, with my eyeballs vomiting.

What color hair do you like on a girl? What color eyes? Do you like a girl taller than you, same height, or shorter? What physical feature most attracts you to a woman that you find pretty? – be gentlemanly, here; I'm well aware that boobs and rear ends are pleasant enough to look at, and you don't come across as either decent or particularly clever for making this the focal point of your ad. Do you like a girl's eyes? Her smile? What about a woman with glasses? Long hair, or short? Do you like a funny girl? A girl who will sit through an MCU marathon with you? Do you like women who are into sports? Who will give you a run for your money at the air hockey table at your neighborhood bar?

Yes, I know you are specifically requesting NSA sex. But you are also posting an ad for a person and not a piece of meat. I would contend that anyone who comes here with any inkling of meeting a man offline for sexytimes is going to want to see an ad that provides a lot of details about both who you are, and the kind of woman that you're looking for.

Give it another try, WJD! There's a right way to go about this, and I don't believe you're completely incapable of it. Good luck!

 

[YourgirlfriendLaura]

Okay. ... So. I have to admit, I'm sort of with Laura and Erica in that I didn't, at first, think this was a serious post. ... mostly because, if it was serious, it would make me incredibly sad.

But listen: last Christmas, I was visited in the night by three ghosts. tl;dr, my heart grew three sizes that day, and in the spirit of... Christmas... I would rather be helpful than mean right now.

So, let me offer you some pointers! Not that I'm like, Don Juan or whatever. But I do think of myself as a decent human being, and I've found that being a decent human being sometimes attracts other decent human beings who would like to get to know you. And sometimes these decent human beings are females who might be interested in you because of your basic decency.

So, in short, our mission statement here: be decent. If you click, then the fun and indecent parts will come about naturally.

First thing, my dude... your peculiar style of randomly presenting whole words in all-caps is... strange and potentially off-putting. This does not say "32 year old man who is bonable." It says "32 year old man who never broke 220 on the SAT verbal." We're in a textual place right now, so you want to convey that you are adept at communicating in text. Like, intelligently. So, don't do that thing where you go "looking for HOT & SEXY"... also, drop the ampersand. "And" is a three letter word, it does not require abbreviation. This just makes you look lazy – and if you're advertising for a potential sexy partner, laziness is definitely not a desirable trait.

Okay, next up: your subject line. It's wrong. It's all wrong. You would be, please forgive me, the proverbial beggar who cannot be a chooser. If you are hoping for "HOT & SEXY college girls," understand that you may have set your bar a bit too high. Because college girls have other options, against whom you would be competing. And you may not win this competition. So, perhaps you should decide you could be satisfied if your posting here attracted, say, a lonely 30-something single gal. Or, you know, whatever.

Your tragic backstory – having been in two relationships with unfaithful partners – suggests you would do well to seek out fellow singles... even if your... ahem, request that a prospective 20-something "bring a friend" suggests you have a hidden streak of polyamory?... Let's set that aside for now. Because it's kinda gross and my eyes vomit when I read over that part of your ad.

So, how about we re-title your ad to be something like "Looking for lonely singles in the Buffalo, NY area."

This reads as normal, non-creepy, and it immediately moves you up a couple of rungs on the ol' ladder o' humanity, way closer to something a human person would like to affirmatively respond to!

We're basically 50% there with just a subject change, pal. ... Now, let's hold our noses and dive into the content.

So, your first three sentences... lots of problems here. Let's patch them up a bit, shall we? Your first sentence is just fine: you give your age and location, indicating that you're looking for someone to meet out in the real world. That's fine! Declare your intentions right up front. Perfect. Second sentence... okay. I must say – and I'm sure you will not find anyone here who would argue me on this point – but you're brave to admit that you're a virgin here. We can get into a larger discussion of toxic masculinity, and the expectations placed upon young men and boys about sex and sexuality, but it's way far afield of the task at hand right now. But I want to step aside a moment and make sure you are commended for admitting this given all of that societal baggage. Regardless of however else anything in your post is read or interpreted, at its essence it's clear your ad is a desperate cry for intimacy from a lonely person. And that's brave.

... Your third sentence, though, is where you fail to read the room. While I think you should leave your second sentence as-is (because any prospective partner you were to find with such an ad should know this up front and be attracted to your vulnerability)... this third sentence just sort of reads like you're making excuses for your current condition. You can either leave out everything after "I live at home with [my] parents," or just leave this confession out of your ad entirely. (with the understanding that you will bring it up once you get an exchange of private messages going)

Trust me, we all live in the world, we're all aware that things are tough out there. It's exceedingly common for those of us in our 30s and 40s to have had to move back in with the folks for a time. I did my turn. I've known people who are currently in the midst of theirs. When you talk about this with someone you want to be intimate with, don't be ashamed of it. It can be a selling point, it can say a lot about you. How do you feel about your family? Are you close with them? A lot of women actually really value men who are on good terms with their family.

Or, maybe take this in a different direction. If this is something you're actively looking to change about your life, say so! Say you're looking for a place (which I would assume you're doing?). One thing women also value in men is the ability to solve problems. Talk this up in a way that expresses something like "yeah, I'm in a bad place now, but here's my plan for the future."

But save that for your PMs with respondents. Let's rewrite your first three sentences as such: "I'm 32 years old and I live in East Amherst, NY. I'm single and I'm a virgin. [third sentence stricken from the record]"

Possibly add another couple of sentences here to add some color and detail to the picture: who is it that we're talking about here? What interests do you have? Are you a dog or a cat person? What do you do for a living? How do you feel about cilantro? Give your readers something to work with here, something that says a thing about you as a person. What you have in your original text is rather threadbare; you're not giving anyone a reason to want to know more. Really, this should be the meat and potatoes of your ad: this is your chance to sell yourself, to throw a wink at the camera and do your little dance on the catwalk! Fucking blow them away with what an awesome man you are and the awesome things you're passionate about!!

Moving right along... you go into what you're looking for. This is really where your wheels came off the wagon. ... and then the wagon flipped across five lanes of traffic, spun into the lake and exploded, killing everyone on board. Metaphorically.

Real talk: "HOT college girls" are not going to message you based on the text of your original ad. They're just not. You can believe me, or don't, but your appeal for these "HOT college girls" to "PLZ MESSAGE ME on here" if they "wanna hookup with me for NSA SEX" is not so compelling as you may have believed when you first wrote it. Nor does your followup of "I wold [sic] be more happy if you wanted to bring another girl to join you" make the arrangement anymore meaningfully enticing.

Honestly, you're not asking here for anything that a fleshlight, lube and pornhub couldn't deliver for you.

In the above, we basically constructed a paragraph that was about selling yourself. Here, we should do something similar, except instead of describing you we're going to talk about the kind of woman you're most attracted to and who you want to be with.

The challenge for you, though, is to describe this woman without using the phrase "HOT college girls." Again, with my eyeballs vomiting.

What color hair do you like on a girl? What color eyes? Do you like a girl taller than you, same height, or shorter? What physical feature most attracts you to a woman that you find pretty? – be gentlemanly, here; I'm well aware that boobs and rear ends are pleasant enough to look at, and you don't come across as either decent or particularly clever for making this the focal point of your ad. Do you like a girl's eyes? Her smile? What about a woman with glasses? Long hair, or short? Do you like a funny girl? A girl who will sit through an MCU marathon with you? Do you like women who are into sports? Who will give you a run for your money at the air hockey table at your neighborhood bar?

Yes, I know you are specifically requesting NSA sex. But you are also posting an ad for a person and not a piece of meat. I would contend that anyone who comes here with any inkling of meeting a man offline for sexytimes is going to want to see an ad that provides a lot of details about both who you are, and the kind of woman that you're looking for.

Give it another try, WJD! There's a right way to go about this, and I don't believe you're completely incapable of it. Good luck!

Thank you for your kindness (that I could not summon.)

 

[Escierto]

Okay. ... So. I have to admit, I'm sort of with Laura and Erica in that I didn't, at first, think this was a serious post. ... mostly because, if it was serious, it would make me incredibly sad.

But listen: last Christmas, I was visited in the night by three ghosts. tl;dr, my heart grew three sizes that day, and in the spirit of... Christmas... I would rather be helpful than mean right now.

So, let me offer you some pointers! Not that I'm like, Don Juan or whatever. But I do think of myself as a decent human being, and I've found that being a decent human being sometimes attracts other decent human beings who would like to get to know you. And sometimes these decent human beings are females who might be interested in you because of your basic decency.

So, in short, our mission statement here: be decent. If you click, then the fun and indecent parts will come about naturally.

First thing, my dude... your peculiar style of randomly presenting whole words in all-caps is... strange and potentially off-putting. This does not say "32 year old man who is bonable." It says "32 year old man who never broke 220 on the SAT verbal." We're in a textual place right now, so you want to convey that you are adept at communicating in text. Like, intelligently. So, don't do that thing where you go "looking for HOT & SEXY"... also, drop the ampersand. "And" is a three letter word, it does not require abbreviation. This just makes you look lazy – and if you're advertising for a potential sexy partner, laziness is definitely not a desirable trait.

Okay, next up: your subject line. It's wrong. It's all wrong. You would be, please forgive me, the proverbial beggar who cannot be a chooser. If you are hoping for "HOT & SEXY college girls," understand that you may have set your bar a bit too high. Because college girls have other options, against whom you would be competing. And you may not win this competition. So, perhaps you should decide you could be satisfied if your posting here attracted, say, a lonely 30-something single gal. Or, you know, whatever.

Your tragic backstory – having been in two relationships with unfaithful partners – suggests you would do well to seek out fellow singles... even if your... ahem, request that a prospective 20-something "bring a friend" suggests you have a hidden streak of polyamory?... Let's set that aside for now. Because it's kinda gross and my eyes vomit when I read over that part of your ad.

So, how about we re-title your ad to be something like "Looking for lonely singles in the Buffalo, NY area."

This reads as normal, non-creepy, and it immediately moves you up a couple of rungs on the ol' ladder o' humanity, way closer to something a human person would like to affirmatively respond to!

We're basically 50% there with just a subject change, pal. ... Now, let's hold our noses and dive into the content.

So, your first three sentences... lots of problems here. Let's patch them up a bit, shall we? Your first sentence is just fine: you give your age and location, indicating that you're looking for someone to meet out in the real world. That's fine! Declare your intentions right up front. Perfect. Second sentence... okay. I must say – and I'm sure you will not find anyone here who would argue me on this point – but you're brave to admit that you're a virgin here. We can get into a larger discussion of toxic masculinity, and the expectations placed upon young men and boys about sex and sexuality, but it's way far afield of the task at hand right now. But I want to step aside a moment and make sure you are commended for admitting this given all of that societal baggage. Regardless of however else anything in your post is read or interpreted, at its essence it's clear your ad is a desperate cry for intimacy from a lonely person. And that's brave.

... Your third sentence, though, is where you fail to read the room. While I think you should leave your second sentence as-is (because any prospective partner you were to find with such an ad should know this up front and be attracted to your vulnerability)... this third sentence just sort of reads like you're making excuses for your current condition. You can either leave out everything after "I live at home with [my] parents," or just leave this confession out of your ad entirely. (with the understanding that you will bring it up once you get an exchange of private messages going)

Trust me, we all live in the world, we're all aware that things are tough out there. It's exceedingly common for those of us in our 30s and 40s to have had to move back in with the folks for a time. I did my turn. I've known people who are currently in the midst of theirs. When you talk about this with someone you want to be intimate with, don't be ashamed of it. It can be a selling point, it can say a lot about you. How do you feel about your family? Are you close with them? A lot of women actually really value men who are on good terms with their family.

Or, maybe take this in a different direction. If this is something you're actively looking to change about your life, say so! Say you're looking for a place (which I would assume you're doing?). One thing women also value in men is the ability to solve problems. Talk this up in a way that expresses something like "yeah, I'm in a bad place now, but here's my plan for the future."

But save that for your PMs with respondents. Let's rewrite your first three sentences as such: "I'm 32 years old and I live in East Amherst, NY. I'm single and I'm a virgin. [third sentence stricken from the record]"

Possibly add another couple of sentences here to add some color and detail to the picture: who is it that we're talking about here? What interests do you have? Are you a dog or a cat person? What do you do for a living? How do you feel about cilantro? Give your readers something to work with here, something that says a thing about you as a person. What you have in your original text is rather threadbare; you're not giving anyone a reason to want to know more. Really, this should be the meat and potatoes of your ad: this is your chance to sell yourself, to throw a wink at the camera and do your little dance on the catwalk! Fucking blow them away with what an awesome man you are and the awesome things you're passionate about!!

Moving right along... you go into what you're looking for. This is really where your wheels came off the wagon. ... and then the wagon flipped across five lanes of traffic, spun into the lake and exploded, killing everyone on board. Metaphorically.

Real talk: "HOT college girls" are not going to message you based on the text of your original ad. They're just not. You can believe me, or don't, but your appeal for these "HOT college girls" to "PLZ MESSAGE ME on here" if they "wanna hookup with me for NSA SEX" is not so compelling as you may have believed when you first wrote it. Nor does your followup of "I wold [sic] be more happy if you wanted to bring another girl to join you" make the arrangement anymore meaningfully enticing.

Honestly, you're not asking here for anything that a fleshlight, lube and pornhub couldn't deliver for you.

In the above, we basically constructed a paragraph that was about selling yourself. Here, we should do something similar, except instead of describing you we're going to talk about the kind of woman you're most attracted to and who you want to be with.

The challenge for you, though, is to describe this woman without using the phrase "HOT college girls." Again, with my eyeballs vomiting.

What color hair do you like on a girl? What color eyes? Do you like a girl taller than you, same height, or shorter? What physical feature most attracts you to a woman that you find pretty? – be gentlemanly, here; I'm well aware that boobs and rear ends are pleasant enough to look at, and you don't come across as either decent or particularly clever for making this the focal point of your ad. Do you like a girl's eyes? Her smile? What about a woman with glasses? Long hair, or short? Do you like a funny girl? A girl who will sit through an MCU marathon with you? Do you like women who are into sports? Who will give you a run for your money at the air hockey table at your neighborhood bar?

Yes, I know you are specifically requesting NSA sex. But you are also posting an ad for a person and not a piece of meat. I would contend that anyone who comes here with any inkling of meeting a man offline for sexytimes is going to want to see an ad that provides a lot of details about both who you are, and the kind of woman that you're looking for.

Give it another try, WJD! There's a right way to go about this, and I don't believe you're completely incapable of it. Good luck!

Hats off to you for an excellent response. Will he be able to take such good advice?

 

[TossAwayFellow978]

Thank you for your kindness (that I could not summon.)

... Look, I'm just tryina get into heaven, here...

No one is totally irredeemable. Let's see if he's willing to give it the old college try! (... I'm realizing the phrase "the old college try" may not be completely appropriate here, given the appeal for "hot college girls" but...)

 

[YourgirlfriendLaura]

... Look, I'm just trying to get into heaven, here...

No one is totally irredeemable. Let's see if he's willing to give it the old college try! (... I'm realizing the phrase "the old college try" may not be completely appropriate here, given the appeal for "hot college girls" but...)

My old, (too) nice self would have actually offered to help him with his ad, assuming he is decent but just does not know how to put his best self out there. But unfortunately, I have become jaded, because I had a really bad experience in the past. The guy was more a bipolar sociopath, then clueless....
With this OP brings fresh hope. May the force be with him.
You wrote some funny stuff in there too!