3 person Dialouge Scene...Litte Help Please....

[LGL]

A scene I am writing is on the verge becoming a 3 person dialouge scene. It will probably be a breakfast table scene, maybe a restaurant scene, maybe car ride? I haven't decided yet. I do know it will be an erotic conversation but the characters will be unable to for whatever reason be able to make it physical.

What do I need to be aware of? Careful of? Any and all helpful hints and tips would be appreciated.

 

[oggbashan]

Character identity

With dialogue you need to be sure that each person's voice is identified without going so far that you make it obvious.

For example:

"Tell me, Mike, why do you like Jane?"

"Well, Sarah, I ..."

"Hey! You can't ask him that. Not in front of me."

"Why not, Jane? You want to know, don't you?"

"Yes, Sarah, but will he answer honestly with me here?"

Mike cleared his throat.

"I think I would."

"I don't! You would tell me what I want to hear."

And so on. It should be clear than Mike and Jane said the last two quotes.

It is easy to confuse the reader in an extended conversation. Nearly as easy as it is to confuse yourself. Check, check again and then get soemone else to check that they can understand WHO said WHAT to WHOM.

Hope that helps.

Og

 

[KillerMuffin]

"I really can't believe she did that. Please pass the butter."

Mary absently handed the dish to Jane. "Well, it's not like she's had that much sense."

Donna hid her smile behind her coffee cup. "I don't know, it sounds like fun."

Jane dropped the dinner roll. "Fun?"

"Sure. I've always wanted to have sex with five guys.'

"You! But you teach Sunday School!"

"Only on Sundays." Donna set her cup down and leaned in conspiratorily. "C'mon, haven't you ever wanted to go wild?"

Yada yada. Ogg gave you one good way, have characters say names. The other way is to use props.

 

[TheEarl]

Whatever you do, don't use dialogue attributives constantly. Okay, so you want to make sure what you're doing is clear, but you don't want to treat the reader like an idiot. Being patronised is never good.

I read a book called Bright Young Things, where the author added 'he said,' 'she said' to every bit of dialogue. Okay so she was working with eight characters, but it was disappointing, cause it's an otherwise excellent book.

I've heard that getting one of your characters to smoke is a good trick. It gives you a large store of things you can get them to do while speaking.

Cora flicked open her lighter and bent her head to light the fag. "Why would you want to sleep with him?"

Jenny stared disapprovingly at the cigarette. "You know I don't like you smoking those things. They're bad for you."

"And you know I don't care. I think it makes me look...what's the word?"

"Dumb?" Kelly interjected.

"Sophisticated. Dumb I can do without a cigarette. Anyway, don't change the subject."

Kelly waved at some smoke that had drifted over to her. "She's not going to answer you Cor."

"I know." Cora stretched out on the sofa and dragged on her cigarette before blowing the smoke at Kelly. "Gonna keep trying though."

Jenny stood up and snatched the cigarette out of the brunette's hand. "Don't be a bitch Cor."

"Hey! I was smoking that!"

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Me, I like all sorts of word jokes and ways of playing with language. I once read an exerpt from a chat room where two people discussed oral sex for about 2 Words-pages, without ever mentioning any sexual words.

Hint at sex, hint at what the characters are actually meaning, what they have done, what they want to do, etc. Use euphemisms! Make them use secret code words, like "eating sushi" for cunnilingus (a SATC-favourite! ). It makes your story much more interesting to read than if you just quote what they're actually saying.

 

[gauchecritic]

"Are you going to stick your dick in her mouth?" Jane enquired matter of factly

Crumbs of toast and marmalade flew across the table as Elaine choked on her first bite.

Harvey, slapping her back repeatedly, replied; "Yes. I would think so."

Elaine's eyes boggled.

"And don't be afraid to really pinch hard on her nipples." she prompted "And close your mouth Elaine, you know you like it."

Snorting, Jane ejected coffee from her nose onto her best and only clean T-Shirt.

"Does she?" He mused, grinning as he buttered more toast. Leaning across the table and in a whispered conspiratorial voice enquired "Does she like to take it up the arse?"

Both Harvey and Jane half rose from their seats to hold Jane in a new paroxyism of coughing, snorting and farting her incredulousness.

In a staged whisper "Yes she does"

Just an example of how you don't necessarily have to say anything in order to be part of a conversation.

Gauche

 

[TheEarl]

Gauche: I have to ask. I've seen that sig line hundreds oftimes now and I've read it over and over. What the hell does it mean?

The Earl

 

[MathGirl]

Devices for trialogue

"Chinga su madre, cabron," said Hector the hirsute hispanic.

Cliff, the victim of a severe head cold replied, "I dond gno ef thad's bossible, bud I mide gibber a dry."

Louise the transexual retorted, "Well, if you boys are going to talk dirty, I'm just going to put my panties back on and leave."

After that, it should not be necessary to identify the speaker each time he/she/? speaks.

Helpfully,
MG

 

[gauchecritic]

Gauche: I have to ask. I've seen that sig line hundreds oftimes now and I've read it over and over. What the hell does it mean?

The Earl

I'm surprised and slightly disgusted that a so-called Englishman would have to ask that Earl. My dad (pops) might remember but he is getting on a bit. Try asking him as I am still a bit miffed.

Gauche

Hint: See the title of bikini's latest thread.

 

[TheEarl]

Gauche: I'm only 18. Maybe this joke was before my time?

The Earl

PS. Who's bikini?

 

[gauchecritic]

Gauche: I'm only 18. Maybe this joke was before my time?

The Earl

PS. Who's bikini?

Who's Bikini? Tcha.

Bikini = B Keeney

I had to be beaten over the head with that one too Earl.

Age, by the way , is no defence. My eldest sons (your age) both know whereof I speak. Your comedy education is sadly lacking.

Gauche

 

[TheEarl]

/me bangs head against desk in sudden realisation of how obvious the bikini thing was.

Okay, so I'm slow tonight. It's 4 o'clock in the morning; can you blame me? I'm an insomniac to answer the immediate next question.

Anyway, my family were more Morecombe and Wise fans than Monty Python.

The Earl

 

[Weird Harold]

What do I need to be aware of? Careful of? Any and all helpful hints and tips would be appreciated.

Og, KM, and TheEarl, pretty much covered most of the techniques.

There is one point I ould like to add:

Sometimes it doesn't matter exactly who said something in a dialogue scene. If you get into scenes with more than three people, sometimes the POV character won't know who said something.

Dialogue with multiple participants is often chaotic and identifying who said what for every utterance is sometimes unrealistic.

Read your dialogue scene out loud, and if it sounds realistic, then it's probably good.