3 New Poems

[Diamondbarrow]

Hello, i've just posted three new poems, all non-erotic, because i'm a square . If you have a moment, take a look, and let me know what you think.

Title: Free Pillar of the Universe

Link: http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=200529


Title: Nothing is Real

Link: http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=200530


Title: Rage & Love

Link: http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=200531

 

[Guest]

Hello, i've just posted three new poems, all non-erotic, because i'm a square . If you have a moment, take a look, and let me know what you think.

Title: Free Pillar of the Univers

Title: Nothing is Real

Title: Rage & Love

Shit.

Crap.

OK.

 

[The_Fool]

Shit.

Crap.

OK.

Damn, CV. You are in a rather direct and brief mood today. You been working out with Senna Jawa or something?

 

[Diamondbarrow]

Shit.

Crap.

OK.

Now that my self-confidence is up...

 

[Diamondbarrow]

Shit.

Crap.

OK.

By the way, you're a fuck face.

Have a nice day .

 

[minsue]

By the way, you're a fuck face.

Have a nice day .

That's the spirit.

 

[angelicminx]

Hello, i've just posted three new poems, all non-erotic, because i'm a square . If you have a moment, take a look, and let me know what you think.

Title: Free Pillar of the Universe

Link: http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=200529


Title: Nothing is Real

Link: http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=200530


Title: Rage & Love

Link: http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=200531

Thank you, D! Well done! I've RVC'd for you. I'd love to see more, so get to work. Seriously though, I think you are extremely talented.

 

[Diamondbarrow]

Thank you, D! Well done! I've RVC'd for you. I'd love to see more, so get to work. Seriously though, I think you are extremely talented.

Thanks love.

 

[Zanzibar]

Comments

I've found if you just want kissy face huggy bear comments, only tell your friends about your poems.

If you want serious comments, post your poems here.

And if you want serious comments and constructive feedback, post your poems in the "poems under construction" or "not for the thin skinned threads" BEFORE you submit them.

CV's always been known for his terse, to the point reviews of poems. He doesn't sugarcoat his review, but he doesn't bullshit you either. You take into consideration thats his opinion.

But I'd recommend looking at your three poems and seeing what the differences are, and see if you find any reason why he'd think 2 are crap and one okay.

I'll come back and give you my thoughts tomorrow, and if I think they are good or bad, I'll tell you why I feel that way. (like I recommend people do in my constructive criticism piece. )

 

[Guest]

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=337570

 

[Diamondbarrow]

I've nothing wrong with the criticism. My issue is with the way he presented it. Had he said 'the first two sucked, the last one didn't suck as much,' i would have been fine. But no, he had to be a bastard about it. So, since he shared his opinion, i shared mine. The end.

 

[twelveoone]

I've found if you just want kissy face huggy bear comments, only tell your friends about your poems.

If you want serious comments, post your poems here.

And if you want serious comments and constructive feedback, post your poems in the "poems under construction" or "not for the thin skinned threads" BEFORE you submit them.

CV's always been known for his terse, to the point reviews of poems. He doesn't sugarcoat his review, but he doesn't bullshit you either. You take into consideration thats his opinion.

But I'd recommend looking at your three poems and seeing what the differences are, and see if you find any reason why he'd think 2 are crap and one okay.

I'll come back and give you my thoughts tomorrow, and if I think they are good or bad, I'll tell you why I feel that way. (like I recommend people do in my constructive criticism piece. )

Sadly this is more true than not, but I see no reason why serious comments and construtive feedback should not be left over there, you post serious over there you should comment serious over there, at least some of the time. Any comment with a name attached carries information, and there are some excellent people on the horizon making comments over there. It should be encouraged, not dismissed.

 

[Zanzibar]

Sadly this is more true than not, but I see no reason why serious comments and construtive feedback should not be left over there, you post serious over there you should comment serious over there, at least some of the time. Any comment with a name attached carries information, and there are some excellent people on the horizon making comments over there. It should be encouraged, not dismissed.

Thats true, but in many cases, people don't usually leave negative constructive feedback with names attached after it goes up for voting. I know it usually doesn't matter to me where I provide the feedback, and I usually leave my name - but many folks are concerned if they don't participate in a love fest, they'll get 1-bombed in return.

While comments here are posted before it goes up for voting, and folks appear much more likely to accept constructive feedback here.

I encourage constructive feedback everywhere! (So much so I wrote that little treatise on the subject) I just don't expect it in some places.

 

[WickedEve]

Diamond, I read your poetry. I did see a few lines that I found appealing:

If this is the case, i've already died
I leave all my things to charity
Cause my friends have done nothing to earn a thing

You did receive some praise in your public feedback, but the best thing you can do (as a poet who has more to learn) is not place too much importance on that praise. Instead, spend some time on this board reading through the threads, participating in the challenges, etc. I think you have potential. I'm sure that in no time you'll be writing some marvelous things.

 

[Diamondbarrow]

Diamond, I read your poetry. I did see a few lines that I found appealing:

If this is the case, i've already died
I leave all my things to charity
Cause my friends have done nothing to earn a thing

You did receive some praise in your public feedback, but the best thing you can do (as a poet who has more to learn) is not place too much importance on that praise. Instead, spend some time on this board reading through the threads, participating in the challenges, etc. I think you have potential. I'm sure that in no time you'll be writing some marvelous things.

I apologize for being indignant. Yesterday was a down day for me. I'm still fairly new to this site, and i should probably understand the way things work here before diving in. Thanks Wicked, and you too, Zanz.

 

[WickedEve]

I apologize for being indignant. Yesterday was a down day for me. I'm still fairly new to this site, and i should probably understand the way things work here before diving in. Thanks Wicked, and you too, Zanz.

The ways things usually work? Well, you usually get constructive feedback from the regulars. I'm not too familiar with Chilled V. His/her feedback was a bit... sparse.

 

[Zanzibar]

The ways things usually work? Well, you usually get constructive feedback from the regulars. I'm not too familiar with Chilled V. His/her feedback was a bit... sparse.

Certainly not what I'd call the constructive kind.

I went through all three of your poems as well, and in each one, there were a number of things that stood out. But I also saw a number of cases where the writing seemed stilted or repetitive to me because you forced rhyming schemes into your work.

That added a lot of extra words that really didn't add to the poem, and took something away from the message that I recieved... my own perception of your poem.

The last poem had the most "heart" and less awkwardness for me because the flow was a lot more natural, the essense less restrained by format and more free.

Just my 2 cents from my perceptions. I'm certainly no expert, especially as a poet, but thats what I see and feel when I read your works so far.