2004 Forecasts

[Lauren Hynde]

I was just reading an article in a magazine that came with the newspaper, last week, and they had about 20 forecasts about what we may witness in the year ahead. Some were quite funny, but they would hold little interest to you foreigners.

One or two, though, you might find amusing. Forgive any awkward phrasing, I'm translating it on the spot.


Strong Euro
Cheap Vacations

The non capture of Ibn Laden and the almost certain nomination of António Victorino for the presidency of the European Commission will cause the plummet of the American currency: one euro is now worth US$3,47, something unheard of in transatlantic transactions. Most analysts agree that, by the end of the year, the USA will become the most popular tourism destination in the world, with competitive prices that will beat markets like Brazil, Dominican Republic or Turkey. An early consequence of this phenomenon, the Portuguese Air Luxor* is preparing packages that include direct charter flights twice a day from Beja** to Orlando (Florida) and Boston (Massachusetts) for only €99,95*** (approximately US$345), airport tax and handling included. This deflection of tourist routes away from the euro zone, with a decrease of 76% in the last six months, is worrying the Commission in Brussels as well as most travel agents of the Old Continent, who fear the slowest summer ever in recorded history. For the wealthier, it's a good opportunity to visit the Algarve.


*it's a low budget company
**relatively small city of the rapidly-deserted interior
***actually US$127,30 by yesterday's rate.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I was just reading an article in a magazine that came with the newspaper, last week, and they had about 20 forecasts about what we may witness in the year ahead. Some were quite funny, but they would hold little interest to you foreigners.

One or two, though, you might find amusing. Forgive any awkward phrasing, I'm translating it on the spot.


Strong Euro
Cheap Vacations

The non capture of Ibn Laden and the almost certain nomination of António Victorino for the presidency of the European Commission will cause the plummet of the American currency: one euro is now worth US$3,47, something unheard of in transatlantic transactions. Most analysts agree that, by the end of the year, the USA will become the most popular tourism destination in the world, with competitive prices that will beat markets like Brazil, Dominican Republic or Turkey. An early consequence of this phenomenon, the Portuguese Air Luxor* is preparing packages that include direct charter flights twice a day from Beja** to Orlando (Florida) and Boston (Massachusetts) for only €99,95*** (approximately US$345), airport tax and handling included. This deflection of tourist routes away from the euro zone, with a decrease of 76% in the last six months, is worrying the Commission in Brussels as well as most travel agents of the Old Continent, who fear the slowest summer ever in recorded history. For the wealthier, it's a good opportunity to visit the Algarve.


*it's a low budget company
**relatively small city of the rapidly-deserted interior
***actually US$127,30 by yesterday's rate.

Anyone who decides to fly over I suggest florida. It's freezing here in NY and Boston is even colder!

-Colly

 

[Vincent E]

Re: Re: 2004 Forecasts

Anyone who decides to fly over I suggest florida. It's freezing here in NY and Boston is even colder!

-Colly

Y-y-y-y-you c-c-c-c-c-c-can-n-n-n s-s-s-ss-ay th-th-th-that ag-g-g-g-gain.

Just as a point of reference, my AV is a Coast Guard vessel in frozen Boston Harbor yesterday off of Castle Island.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Re: 2004 Forecasts

Anyone who decides to fly over I suggest florida. It's freezing here in NY and Boston is even colder!

-Colly

But you have to admit NY has its highlights too.

 

[Guest]

Hey! What about San Francisco? All my windows are still open.

Perdita

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Re: Re: Re: 2004 Forecasts

But you have to admit NY has its highlights too.

-Colly

 

[minsue]

Hey! What about San Francisco? All my windows are still open.

Perdita

This is where I would normally brag about our weather (since it's the only time of year I can do so), but I've been cut off by minivans with Canadian plates 3 times this week so I'll refrain from doing so.

- Mindy

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Portuguese and Cape-Verdians Avoid Fraud in USA

The good personal relationship between the north-American president, George W. Bush, and the Prime Minister of Portugal, Durão Barroso, will allow a greater rigour in the upcoming presidential elections, scheduled for November. A Luso-Cape-Verdian mission of observers, led by the Centro National de Eleições* (CNE) will be sent to each of the fifty north-American states. "El Presidente doesn't want the American people to have any doubt over his electoral performance. And who better than the CNE to make the record straight?" explained a White House spokesperson. "Apart from the cordial friendship between mister Bush and mister Barroso, the democratic maturity of Portugal and, above all, the exemplary transparency of the vote tallying of the last municipal elections in Lisbon** were decisive", the same source added.


*National Electoral Centre
**don't ask, long story...

 

[shereads]

Come to Florida. We have these things called "chads" that we use as confetti when we greet you at the airport.

But don't come in the summer unless you're a masochist.

Right now, Florida is paying us residents back for the mosquito-eaten months of misery and humidity. The weather is perfect.

My back door is open right now to let the cool breeze in, and it smells like night-blooming jasmine.

I picked more bananas yesterday from the trees in the backyard. The hibiscus bushes have 5-inch blooms in a shameless neon-pink color.

 

[minsue]

Come to Florida. We have these things called "chads" that we use as confetti when we greet you at the airport.

But don't come in the summer unless you're a masochist.

Right now, Florida is paying us residents back for the mosquito-eaten months of misery and humidity. The weather is perfect.

My back door is open right now to let the cool breeze in, and it smells like night-blooming jasmine.

I picked more bananas yesterday from the trees in the backyard. The hibiscus bushes have 5-inch blooms in a shameless neon-pink color.

OK, she, you've got me jealous. The high today was in the 70s, but we've had 3 or 4 hard frosts in the past week so my big, beautiful bougenvilla that was in full bloom is now black along with the rest of my flowering plants. *sigh*

- Mindy

 

[Adrenaline]

This is where I would normally brag about our weather (since it's the only time of year I can do so), but I've been cut off by minivans with Canadian plates 3 times this week so I'll refrain from doing so.

- Mindy

Those crazy Canadians. Why would they do that?

10 F here.

 

[minsue]

Those crazy Canadians. Why would they do that?

10 F here.

I'm starting to think we should have tests at the border. "OK, now show me the proper way to merge on a freeway at rush hour."

I'm about the only person in the state that doesn't make money off ya'll, though, so I should keep my complaining to a minimum

- Mindy

edited to add: I should also allow for the fact that driving in Arizona is a bitch anyway since most of the people living here moved from somewhere else & brought their regional driving quirks with them.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hey! What about San Francisco? All my windows are still open.

Perdita

I agree with you there, Dita. I am about 50 miles south of you.

 

[Gary Chambers]

I'm starting to think we should have tests at the border. "OK, now show me the proper way to merge on a freeway at rush hour."

You've nailed it, Min. Sometimes I have to drive into Vancouver on the freeway. The freeway is a cart track because our barbaric backwoods politicians see no reason to widen it. In fact, our current leader in British Columbia wants to sell the road system to private owners. The result of this rustic attitude is that people have no idea how to drive on real roads. Since that freeway into Van is too narrow, it demands that people getting into the traffic flow at on-ramps work with those already in the flow to keep things moving, but not a chance of that. The hayseeds getting onto the freeway either charge ahead to the front of the line, believing the sea of vehicles will part especially for them or they dawdle and gaze at the traffic with their foot nervously tapping the brake pedal. The ones already on the freeway just drive like mad cows. The result is the constant carnage of fatal accidents, and a rush hour that literally never ends. I wasn't aware that bad drivers were becoming one of our major exports, but it doesn't surprise me at all.