2 new stories posted: feed back PLEASE angelbitchss

[angelbitchss]

Yesterday they posted two new stories I wrote. for those who are looking for more the links are below. I have one more pending and would like to write another. Feed back would be help full so that same mistakes don't happen and what you like to read about can happen. So all feed back is needed good or bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a bitches morning excursion: www.english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id204537

owing every orifice:
www.english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=204538

 

[Penelope Street]

Hi Angel,

This feedback isn't really good or bad, more of a note.

Perusing your collection I saw your stories are written in second-person perspective in which is the reader is ostensibly a character. While there is nothing technically wrong with this perspective it often appeals to a narrow target audience and turns everyone else off.

Below are a couple of links where the issue was discussed:
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=179934
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=359987

Thusfar I've seen all of one second-person story that was some pleasure to read :
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=205916
Even this I found amusing instead of arousing and I still didn't finish it.

Even so, I'm not suggesting you abandon your storytelling style; there's nothing technically wrong with it, it's just less likely to appeal to a broad audience, thus I was just concerned your stories might not seem to generate much response and perhaps you didn't understand why. If you already know all of this, please rest assured I did not mean to be patronizing.

Take Care,
Penny

 

[angelbitchss]

Penny

Thanks for the info. I will check out the links on that. But I really don't know how to write other than telling what, how, when, and where everything is taking place. In order for me to write what I do, I have to put me in that position and just tell it like it is, as it is. But I am open for trying new things and will for sure check out those links.

Thanks for the info, I am sure it will help and better my writing.