1st Threesome

Hannah90

Experienced
Joined
Dec 5, 2010
Posts
67
This is a purposely unedited account of an event I wrote ages ago, but now want to put up for various reasons, not least to get feedback on how I've changed in my style.X

My First Threesome
I found my preparatory school uniform earlier today, the memories came flooding back. A gray pleated skirt, just above the knee, which I would roll up on my hips as soon as I left the house. White thigh-high socks, the tops of them would be visible once I’d rolled my skirt up. A quite thin and actually quite revealing short-sleeved blouse, to say I was innocent then. Plus a gray tie. I thought I’d try it on, just to see whether or not it still fitted me. I was surprised to see it did, in the exact same way as it used to. The skirt cheekily rolled up on my hips, the blouse just clinging to my breasts, and hanging a slight bit away from my skin. I looked in the mirror and I remembered this one memory of a month after my 18th birthday, and instantly felt like I was there again.
I'd met my boyfriend Chris when I was still in school. I was on a day trip to London and I met him at the train station, he was a lot older than me but I was drawn to him. By the time this story came about, I hadn't had a great amount of experience, as we’d only been trying things out for the past month, and he lived so far away from me, I’d only get to see him two weekends in a month. Our fantasies had only just started to develop, and living so far apart taught me just how filthy I can be, given the chance.
I remember this one Friday, a month after my 18th birthday. I’d been let out of school at lunch time, and was already on my way to my weekend visit to his. I didn’t have time to change out of my uniform as I would have missed the train. I remember feeling excited and I couldn’t wait to see him, especially after the video he’d sent me earlier that day, of him wanking till I saw what was my first time seeing a boy cum. I loved, and do still love, seeing his cock so hard for me. At the time I didn’t have anything to compare it to, but watching porn together on the internet showed me just how above average he really was.
I remember arriving at the train station, and seeing him eagerly waiting for me on the station platform. I couldn’t wait to be alone with him, so as I’d got off the train I grabbed his hand and we quickly walked back to his flat, as I’d made it clear I couldn’t wait to be behind closed doors. He said his friend would be over soon, so I wanted to get a quick shag in beforehand, otherwise we would have to wait for ages.
Even though I couldn’t wait to play with his cock, I was still quite shy around him then. As soon as we got into his flat, I just perched myself on the edge of the middle cushion on the couch, as I didn’t really know what to do with myself. He saw I was a bit uncomfortable, and told me to just sit back and relax, which I just did immediately. I asked him for a glass of cider just to settle my nerves, as I was so desperate to do something straight away.
He then began to tell me about his friend, he was the one Chris had always joked to me about getting him over for a threesome. Apparently he was one of those guys who was so nice and shy that you’d expect him to crumble if he saw a woman naked.
I remember there being a sudden knock at the door. He’d arrived a lot earlier than I was thinking. Frustration suddenly flooded through me, my pussy was soaking wet because we’d not had the time to do anything, and all I could picture was that video Chris had sent me rolling through my mind.
I became immensely shy all of a sudden. I’d never met any of his friends yet. Chris left the room straight away to get some more drinks in. There was an awkward conversation between me and his friend, I could see he wasn’t used to being around girls, but then I was exactly the same around other men. I was still sat in the middle of the couch eagerly wanting Chris to come back into the room to pick up the conversation. His friend sat down in the chair opposite the couch, his eyes running all over the room, avoiding looking at me as much as he could.
Chris came back in and both of sighed in relief to be out of that awkward moment. He sat next to me and put my leg over his and just stroked my leg as the chatter began. The conversation lifted and the drinks began to flow a little more.
I remember talking to his friend when I felt Chris’s hand begin to move up my thigh, I gave him a look as if to say we’re not alone, we can’t, even though my body was trembling from the touch of his soft hands. Luckily that’s when his friend left the room to go to the toilet. Chris’s fingers rose higher up my inner thigh and he began to rub them over my knickers. He whispered into my ear ‘you naughty girl, you’re so wet, you must be thinking about cock’, and he pulled me up and sat me on top of him, my mind spinning at the idea of being freshly stretched by his fat dick. I was preparing to be able to jump off him for when I heard the toilet door open.
He began to rub his fingers over my knickers a bit harder and wider. He looked at my face and saw me blushing, in a very coy but horny way. He moved the gusset to one side with one of his fingers and slowly rubbed over my lips, they gradually parted revealing my clit. My body started to tremble even more, my breathing getting heavier. He then said to me ‘I can tell you liked the video I made for you, you naughty, naughty girl’.
I had no idea by this point that his friend had already come out of the bathroom and was watching what Chris was doing to me from the door way. Chris had just seen him, but carried on by kissing and lightly biting my neck. The feeling of him doing this and the feeling of his hardening cock through his pants made me begin to dribble a little bit more. Chris looked at my face again and saw my eyes had started to glaze over from how horny I was feeling, and knew I was ready and motioned his friend to come over.
I suddenly jumped as I felt two trembling hands begin to stroke my back. I looked at Chris unknowingly, and he said ‘only if you want to’. My face went red instantly and the words ‘yes, but only slowly’ fell out of my mouth. His friend carried on stroking my body and pulled me back slightly and I felt more wetness in my pussy as the back of his hand grazed the side of my breast.
Chris removed my tie then unbuttoned my shirt, so then his friend could touch my soft skin. I remember my body shuddering all of a sudden from the feeling of his friends hardening cock through his pants, pressing against my back. Chris moved me off him and back onto the middle cushion of the couch, he motioned for him to sit on the other side of me. Both of their hands began stroking my thighs, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing as I watched it, but loved it I looked at Chris and he could see I was nervous but knew from my eyes that I wanted this. I wanted to play with another cock as well as his.
The sound of his friend nervously breathing made me feel slightly settled as I was feeling exactly the same. His friend's shaky hands moved up my body and he began to caress my boobs, looking at my face to see if I liked it. He saw that same look in my face that Chris had seen, a very bashful yet horned-out look. He then pulled the bra away from my boobs with one finger and put his hand in my bra, and fondled my breast. Lightly rolling my nipple between his fingers.
I looked at Chris to see if he was ok with another man doing this to my breasts. I needn't have worried. My head rolled back and I made a light moaning sound that sounded like it was someone else, my nipples are so sensitive and the slightest little touch can set me off. I began to relax a bit around the two of them and closed my eyes in complete bliss as I floated away.
Chris was watching all my actions intently and seemingly had to slip a finger inside my dripping pussy. I could feel the two of them on either side of me shaking from what was unfolding in front of them. Chris reached behind me with his free hand and unhooked my bra, letting it fall loose under my boobs, but the straps were still holding it onto me, even though they had fallen off my shoulders.
I asked them both in the most courageous way I could muster up, if I would be able to unbutton their trousers. They both unbuttoned their trousers themselves, took their pants off and then sat back down and carried on what they were doing. The sight of the two throbbing cocks being released from their pants was the most shockingly delicious sight I’d ever seen. Both of them with shiny helmets, from the dribble pouring out the ends because of me.
I started stroking their legs from their knees up to their thighs and back again. Teasingly going near their cocks but then away again. His friend dropped one of his hands lower and started to move it up towards my pussy, his gentle fingers running over my lips. He then pushed a finger in as well. My eyes started to roll, my hand presses back into the couch, a finger of each of them pushing slowly in and out of me.
I take hold of a cock in each hand and gently massage the dribble onto the helmet of their cocks, using it as lubrication. His friend takes hold of one of my breasts with his spare hand, and then starts to lick and suck my nipple. I look over at Chris to see if he’s ok with me doing this, and I give him a reassuring look to show that I’m having the most fun I’ve ever had. He can see my eyes glazed, my cheeks flushed, and a look of euphoria on my face. So much so that he confidently tells me to kneel on the floor and they both sit next to each other.
I get a sudden wave of paranoia as I realise I’m going to actually be able to play with two cocks, despite not being the surest about how to deal with just one yet, so I go and have a sip of my drink turning back to see the two of them gently wanking. I give them my best idea of a sluttily coy smile, and walk straight back over to them.
I kneel down and guide Chris’s cock into my mouth, gently kissing the very tip, licking in circles around the ridge of his helmet. I lay his friend's now deliciously dribbling cock up onto his belly and lightly stroke one finger up and down from the helmet down to his balls, lightly pressing his perineum (?), then back up again, lightly flicking my finger over the ligamenty bit on the head every time my fingers go near, because I do know boys like that.
I hesitantly move over to his friends cock and do the same thing I did to Chris, gently kissing the tip, and then licking around the ridge in circles. I don’t want to suck their cocks too much though as I didn’t want them to cum before having the chance to feel the two of them inside me.
Chris then gets up and tells me to go on all fours whilst I suck on his friend's cock. I look up at his friend, nervously knowing I’d only ever given a few blowjobs before, and they were all on Chris! I lick my tongue down from the head of his cock down to his balls, gasping breathlessly as Chris pushes his cock slowly into my now soaking, tight pussy. My body trembles as I feel his helmet push past each ridge along the walls of my juicy cunt. I know it will, but it feels like it'll never stop pushing further in. I take hold of his friend's cock, sucking it gently into my mouth, and begin to moan around it, sort of on purpose, the vibrations of my moans making his cock harder. Chris thrusting his hard dick into me faster and harder makes me cum instantly around his cock, embarrassingly squirting my juices out around it, the intensity of my pussy gripping around it nearly makes him cum, and I can see in his friend's face that he’s about to cum in my mouth, so I get up for more of my cider, as I still need to feel his friend inside me.
Chris understands the situation and tells him to swap places. I get back into the position I was in before, and I take hold of Chris’s cock at the base, and begin to lick all of my juices off it. That was when I discovered just how nice girls taste. I gasp as his friends cock enters my pussy, his helmet seemed so much bigger than I thought it was, and... I know it's not going to tear or anything, but it's just on the friendly side of that. He pushes it into me slowly, and deeply. Feeling it pulsing, as it seemed to be getting bigger and bigger inside me, I put Chris’s cock in my mouth and started to suck the head of it more intensely than I have ever done before, wanking him at the same time, I wanted to taste his cum, taste the cum that I saw in the video he’d sent me. What a waste! The feeling of his friend’s fat cock pulling my lips almost inside out as it's sliding in and out of me so slowly, was one I’d never expected to be so moreish. I could feel every vein rubbing against the walls of my pussy. I thrust my hips back at him to see how deeply this feeling can go, and I needed him to pound into me harder and faster anyway as I was on the verge of cumming the hardest cum I've had yet. I can’t stop thinking of that video of Chris’s and I scream out that I’m about to cum. I cum again just at the thought of his sperm spraying all over my tongue, thrusting my hips back at him more and more, whilst my pussy tightens harder and harder around his still swelling cock.
The feeling of me tightening around his dick, with each thrust, makes him cum his hot sperm really hard into me. I could feel each squirt splashing all over my pulsing cervix, filling me completely, to the point where it’s pouring out around his cock with each thrust. I suck harder onto Chris’s cock as I look into his eyes, briefly stopping the moaning and screams of ecstasy, from the gorgeous feeling in my pussy. Chris pulls his cock out of my mouth and wanks his lovely cock onto my tongue, telling me he's about to cum. I watch his face, intrigued, as it powerfully jets into my mouth over & over, hitting the back of my throat and the roof of my mouth, strings of it pouring all around my lips and down my face. The taste of his cum is delicious and I try to gulp down as much of it as I can, because I love it and to impress.
It was still only quite early in the night and I wanted to do it all again, but disappointingly Chris’s friend had to leave. Even though we’d just had gorgeous sex together, it was still suddenly quite awkward saying goodbye. Chris and I, however, ran straight to the bedroom where he carried on heavily fucking me, reliving the whole evening in both actions and words, and his cock was the biggest I'd ever felt up to now.
I've been spoiled now. I want at least the same again, if not more, as long as this boyfriend of mine is up for it. I know he is.X
 
The feedback process here is really for stories already posted to Lit. Posting full stories to the forum circumvents the website's process of reviewing stories for meeting website guidelines before they are posted to the website. Posting to the forum is posting to the website.

That said, you need to put an extra line feed between paragraphs for material being viewed on the computer monitor. Otherwise the result is a mindboggling solid wall of text.
 
What sr means is that line breaks in a Word document disappear when you copy/paste to a forum entry unless you have made them double line-breaks. Always worth using 'preview' to see what your post is going to look like and editing if necessary. Like this;

My First Threesome


I found my preparatory school uniform earlier today, the memories came flooding back. A gray pleated skirt, just above the knee, which I would roll up on my hips as soon as I left the house. White thigh-high socks, the tops of them would be visible once I’d rolled my skirt up. A quite thin and actually quite revealing short-sleeved blouse, to say I was innocent then. Plus a gray tie. I thought I’d try it on, just to see whether or not it still fitted me. I was surprised to see it did, in the exact same way as it used to. The skirt cheekily rolled up on my hips, the blouse just clinging to my breasts, and hanging a slight bit away from my skin. I looked in the mirror and I remembered this one memory of a month after my 18th birthday, and instantly felt like I was there again.


I'd met my boyfriend Chris when I was still in school. I was on a day trip to London and I met him at the train station, he was a lot older than me but I was drawn to him. By the time this story came about, I hadn't had a great amount of experience, as we’d only been trying things out for the past month, and he lived so far away from me, I’d only get to see him two weekends in a month. Our fantasies had only just started to develop, and living so far apart taught me just how filthy I can be, given the chance.
I remember this one Friday, a month after my 18th birthday. I’d been let out of school at lunch time, and was already on my way to my weekend visit to his. I didn’t have time to change out of my uniform as I would have missed the train. I remember feeling excited and I couldn’t wait to see him, especially after the video he’d sent me earlier that day, of him wanking till I saw what was my first time seeing a boy cum. I loved, and do still love, seeing his cock so hard for me. At the time I didn’t have anything to compare it to, but watching porn together on the internet showed me just how above average he really was.


I remember arriving at the train station, and seeing him eagerly waiting for me on the station platform. I couldn’t wait to be alone with him, so as I’d got off the train I grabbed his hand and we quickly walked back to his flat, as I’d made it clear I couldn’t wait to be behind closed doors. He said his friend would be over soon, so I wanted to get a quick shag in beforehand, otherwise we would have to wait for ages.
Even though I couldn’t wait to play with his cock, I was still quite shy around him then. As soon as we got into his flat, I just perched myself on the edge of the middle cushion on the couch, as I didn’t really know what to do with myself. He saw I was a bit uncomfortable, and told me to just sit back and relax, which I just did immediately. I asked him for a glass of cider just to settle my nerves, as I was so desperate to do something straight away.


He then began to tell me about his friend, he was the one Chris had always joked to me about getting him over for a threesome. Apparently he was one of those guys who was so nice and shy that you’d expect him to crumble if he saw a woman naked.
I remember there being a sudden knock at the door. He’d arrived a lot earlier than I was thinking. Frustration suddenly flooded through me, my pussy was soaking wet because we’d not had the time to do anything, and all I could picture was that video Chris had sent me rolling through my mind.


I became immensely shy all of a sudden. I’d never met any of his friends yet. Chris left the room straight away to get some more drinks in. There was an awkward conversation between me and his friend, I could see he wasn’t used to being around girls, but then I was exactly the same around other men. I was still sat in the middle of the couch eagerly wanting Chris to come back into the room to pick up the conversation. His friend sat down in the chair opposite the couch, his eyes running all over the room, avoiding looking at me as much as he could.


Chris came back in and both of sighed in relief to be out of that awkward moment. He sat next to me and put my leg over his and just stroked my leg as the chatter began. The conversation lifted and the drinks began to flow a little more.


I remember talking to his friend when I felt Chris’s hand begin to move up my thigh, I gave him a look as if to say we’re not alone, we can’t, even though my body was trembling from the touch of his soft hands. Luckily that’s when his friend left the room to go to the toilet. Chris’s fingers rose higher up my inner thigh and he began to rub them over my knickers. He whispered into my ear ‘you naughty girl, you’re so wet, you must be thinking about cock’, and he pulled me up and sat me on top of him, my mind spinning at the idea of being freshly stretched by his fat dick. I was preparing to be able to jump off him for when I heard the toilet door open.


He began to rub his fingers over my knickers a bit harder and wider. He looked at my face and saw me blushing, in a very coy but horny way. He moved the gusset to one side with one of his fingers and slowly rubbed over my lips, they gradually parted revealing my clit. My body started to tremble even more, my breathing getting heavier. He then said to me ‘I can tell you liked the video I made for you, you naughty, naughty girl’.


I had no idea by this point that his friend had already come out of the bathroom and was watching what Chris was doing to me from the door way. Chris had just seen him, but carried on by kissing and lightly biting my neck. The feeling of him doing this and the feeling of his hardening cock through his pants made me begin to dribble a little bit more. Chris looked at my face again and saw my eyes had started to glaze over from how horny I was feeling, and knew I was ready and motioned his friend to come over.


I suddenly jumped as I felt two trembling hands begin to stroke my back. I looked at Chris unknowingly, and he said ‘only if you want to’. My face went red instantly and the words ‘yes, but only slowly’ fell out of my mouth. His friend carried on stroking my body and pulled me back slightly and I felt more wetness in my pussy as the back of his hand grazed the side of my breast.


Chris removed my tie then unbuttoned my shirt, so then his friend could touch my soft skin. I remember my body shuddering all of a sudden from the feeling of his friends hardening cock through his pants, pressing against my back. Chris moved me off him and back onto the middle cushion of the couch, he motioned for him to sit on the other side of me. Both of their hands began stroking my thighs, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing as I watched it, but loved it I looked at Chris and he could see I was nervous but knew from my eyes that I wanted this. I wanted to play with another cock as well as his.


The sound of his friend nervously breathing made me feel slightly settled as I was feeling exactly the same. His friend's shaky hands moved up my body and he began to caress my boobs, looking at my face to see if I liked it. He saw that same look in my face that Chris had seen, a very bashful yet horned-out look. He then pulled the bra away from my boobs with one finger and put his hand in my bra, and fondled my breast. Lightly rolling my nipple between his fingers.


I looked at Chris to see if he was ok with another man doing this to my breasts. I needn't have worried. My head rolled back and I made a light moaning sound that sounded like it was someone else, my nipples are so sensitive and the slightest little touch can set me off. I began to relax a bit around the two of them and closed my eyes in complete bliss as I floated away.


Chris was watching all my actions intently and seemingly had to slip a finger inside my dripping pussy. I could feel the two of them on either side of me shaking from what was unfolding in front of them. Chris reached behind me with his free hand and unhooked my bra, letting it fall loose under my boobs, but the straps were still holding it onto me, even though they had fallen off my shoulders.


I asked them both in the most courageous way I could muster up, if I would be able to unbutton their trousers. They both unbuttoned their trousers themselves, took their pants off and then sat back down and carried on what they were doing. The sight of the two throbbing cocks being released from their pants was the most shockingly delicious sight I’d ever seen. Both of them with shiny helmets, from the dribble pouring out the ends because of me.


I started stroking their legs from their knees up to their thighs and back again. Teasingly going near their cocks but then away again. His friend dropped one of his hands lower and started to move it up towards my pussy, his gentle fingers running over my lips. He then pushed a finger in as well. My eyes started to roll, my hand presses back into the couch, a finger of each of them pushing slowly in and out of me.
I take hold of a cock in each hand and gently massage the dribble onto the helmet of their cocks, using it as lubrication. His friend takes hold of one of my breasts with his spare hand, and then starts to lick and suck my nipple. I look over at Chris to see if he’s ok with me doing this, and I give him a reassuring look to show that I’m having the most fun I’ve ever had. He can see my eyes glazed, my cheeks flushed, and a look of euphoria on my face. So much so that he confidently tells me to kneel on the floor and they both sit next to each other.

I get a sudden wave of paranoia as I realise I’m going to actually be able to play with two cocks, despite not being the surest about how to deal with just one yet, so I go and have a sip of my drink turning back to see the two of them gently wanking. I give them my best idea of a sluttily coy smile, and walk straight back over to them.
I kneel down and guide Chris’s cock into my mouth, gently kissing the very tip, licking in circles around the ridge of his helmet. I lay his friend's now deliciously dribbling cock up onto his belly and lightly stroke one finger up and down from the helmet down to his balls, lightly pressing his perineum (?), then back up again, lightly flicking my finger over the ligamenty bit on the head every time my fingers go near, because I do know boys like that.


I hesitantly move over to his friends cock and do the same thing I did to Chris, gently kissing the tip, and then licking around the ridge in circles. I don’t want to suck their cocks too much though as I didn’t want them to cum before having the chance to feel the two of them inside me.


Chris then gets up and tells me to go on all fours whilst I suck on his friend's cock. I look up at his friend, nervously knowing I’d only ever given a few blowjobs before, and they were all on Chris! I lick my tongue down from the head of his cock down to his balls, gasping breathlessly as Chris pushes his cock slowly into my now soaking, tight pussy. My body trembles as I feel his helmet push past each ridge along the walls of my juicy cunt. I know it will, but it feels like it'll never stop pushing further in. I take hold of his friend's cock, sucking it gently into my mouth, and begin to moan around it, sort of on purpose, the vibrations of my moans making his cock harder. Chris thrusting his hard dick into me faster and harder makes me cum instantly around his cock, embarrassingly squirting my juices out around it, the intensity of my pussy gripping around it nearly makes him cum, and I can see in his friend's face that he’s about to cum in my mouth, so I get up for more of my cider, as I still need to feel his friend inside me.


Chris understands the situation and tells him to swap places. I get back into the position I was in before, and I take hold of Chris’s cock at the base, and begin to lick all of my juices off it. That was when I discovered just how nice girls taste. I gasp as his friends cock enters my pussy, his helmet seemed so much bigger than I thought it was, and... I know it's not going to tear or anything, but it's just on the friendly side of that. He pushes it into me slowly, and deeply. Feeling it pulsing, as it seemed to be getting bigger and bigger inside me, I put Chris’s cock in my mouth and started to suck the head of it more intensely than I have ever done before, wanking him at the same time, I wanted to taste his cum, taste the cum that I saw in the video he’d sent me. What a waste! The feeling of his friend’s fat cock pulling my lips almost inside out as it's sliding in and out of me so slowly, was one I’d never expected to be so moreish. I could feel every vein rubbing against the walls of my pussy. I thrust my hips back at him to see how deeply this feeling can go, and I needed him to pound into me harder and faster anyway as I was on the verge of cumming the hardest cum I've had yet. I can’t stop thinking of that video of Chris’s and I scream out that I’m about to cum. I cum again just at the thought of his sperm spraying all over my tongue, thrusting my hips back at him more and more, whilst my pussy tightens harder and harder around his still swelling cock.


The feeling of me tightening around his dick, with each thrust, makes him cum his hot sperm really hard into me. I could feel each squirt splashing all over my pulsing cervix, filling me completely, to the point where it’s pouring out around his cock with each thrust. I suck harder onto Chris’s cock as I look into his eyes, briefly stopping the moaning and screams of ecstasy, from the gorgeous feeling in my pussy. Chris pulls his cock out of my mouth and wanks his lovely cock onto my tongue, telling me he's about to cum. I watch his face, intrigued, as it powerfully jets into my mouth over & over, hitting the back of my throat and the roof of my mouth, strings of it pouring all around my lips and down my face. The taste of his cum is delicious and I try to gulp down as much of it as I can, because I love it and to impress.


It was still only quite early in the night and I wanted to do it all again, but disappointingly Chris’s friend had to leave. Even though we’d just had gorgeous sex together, it was still suddenly quite awkward saying goodbye. Chris and I, however, ran straight to the bedroom where he carried on heavily fucking me, reliving the whole evening in both actions and words, and his cock was the biggest I'd ever felt up to now.


I've been spoiled now. I want at least the same again, if not more, as long as this boyfriend of mine is up for it. I know he is.

I disagree with sr's comments about posting stories here. Lit doesn't mind and doesn't seem to consider that anything posted on the forums circumvents the site guidelines about rules on official story submissions. Heck, there are some unmoderated forums on Lit that would have sr wetting his pants and having the vapors if he was allowed up to see them.

Without the time now to comment properly (I will respond later) I think your paragraphs are too long and you fail to understand the immediacy of first person point of view. Also, there is no dialogue in your story.

The unforgivable sin is that you change tenses from past to present.
 
I know. Not her fault. I put it up

I'm the fella and I messed up by doing that. I came on here and put it up for her, with her knowledge, just to have a go, but I messed it up by putting it in 2 wrong places and in the wrong format. Sorry
 
I'm the fella and I messed up by doing that. I came on here and put it up for her, with her knowledge, just to have a go, but I messed it up by putting it in 2 wrong places and in the wrong format. Sorry

If she wishes to go the proper route and post it to the story file and then ask for response but she'd like to have it edited first, I would be willing to copy it from here, edit it in Word tracking change, and e-mail attach it to address you give me in a PM message here (Private Message functon at the top right of this page).
 
Thanks for the offer, but your offer makes no sense, respectfully. As I said, it was unedited for a feedback-on-the-change reason...?! But hey, nice one for reading.XX
 
I don't find you making any sense either. Someone looking at this can only look at what's given here. We can't comment on any style change, as we don't know what your (or her) style was before. But good luck--with whatever you think you were asking for. What you've posted here even makes it confusing whose story this is.
 
Sorry. He's lovely, but he's a knob sometimes too. He didn't mean to post that comment to you, or even on this page.
I write very quickly, to keep the 'feeling', then edit later. I thought he was going to edit it first, but it looks like he got a bit giddy and messed up from start to finish - putting it in the wrong places, commenting back to a pm, but typing it in this thread by mistake...
He's good inside the computer, just shit at using it. No offence meant. And by the way, yes, I'd love for anyone to edit my stuff. I'd take it as a compliment.XX
 
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