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I know at our ages, health problems seem to drop out of the sky like clockwork...

There's your answer. You're reading too much into your use of people you know as models. It would be a different sort of spookiness if the stories predicted their illness or demise, but life goes on with its ups and its downs. It's all coincidence, there's no cause-effect here. You're not jinxing them.
 
I have always used real people that I know in my stories. Not in every story, but most of them, and always with the particular person's approval.

There was one story where a scene takes place in our favorite Irish pub. Every employee mentioned in the scene had their real name used. Within months everyone mentioned had either been fire or quit. My wife teasingly blamed my mentioning them in my story as the curse that caused them each to lose their job.

I have also had people that I went to school with named in stories. Some have passed away since the respective story was published, but others are still alive and thriving, so I see no association between them being in my stories and whatever happens to them.

In the end, life leaves all of us breathless.
 
To some extent every character is based a little bit on a real person, an amalgamation of all the people we know and experiences we've had.
Just try shifting them to be a a little less based on a single person.
 
Many of my characters are... remixes of people I know, including myself. Bodily features, styles and aesthetics, quirks and vocal ticks and attributes, but usually mixed up in different combinations. It helps me make more vibrant mental images, but it separates the characters from real individuals enough that I don't feel weird about writing them into sex scenes.

Do you think you could try something like that, using friends as inspiration but not analogues?
 
It feels like I'm jinxing their lives by using them as models.
Your solipsism seems a bit ridiculous, frankly. To think that your inclusion of a real person's characteristics into a story somehow jinxes them is absurdity of the highest order. You're not God, you're just a bloke writing smut, for goodness sake!
When I've tried developing and using totally fictitious characters, my interest wanes considerably. Not sure how to resurrect that.
Don't worry about it. I'm forever writing stories around people I know, or have known, but just as often, the completely fictional character is the one that grabs me.

If you really can't get past this (very odd) writer's hangup, change their names. That's all I ever need to do - although in many stories, I don't bother. What are the chances of them ever reading about themselves and thinking, "Wait, is that me?" Let alone, "Fuck, now I'm going to die..."
 
I've written characters based on real people here and there, though I always change or mix around the names in some way. However, I still make up core character traits (subconscious beliefs and whatnot) without knowing the corresponding traits of the real people. Because there's only so much I can know a person.
 
I'm confident that your stories have had no impact upon your models' health, so I wouldn't worry about that.

As far as using real people as models for erotic stories, my rule is guided by asking the question, would someone who knows that person recognize that it IS that person based on the detail you've provided? If the answer is yes, my rule is not to do that, period, unless they've given clear authorization to do so. It's perfectly OK, however, to use someone real as a model as long as you change enough details that they are unlikely to be recognized. Things like name, setting, job.
 
Piers Anthony has quite frequently used real people who were dying, or had died, as characters in the Xanth series as a way to keep them alive.
On the other side, Jim C. Hines has stated that the FMC of his Janitors of the Post-Apocalypse series was heavily based on his wife, who succumb to illness as he wrote the final novel. It largely parallels her decline, however he redeems and resurrects her at then end, as a manner to allow her to live on.

There's nothing wrong with patterning a character after a real person, whether you know them or not. Among other things, it allows you to keep consistent when it comes to their physical and psychological character, since you will always return to the same creative foundation.
 
@RoperTrace I'm sorry for the loss of your acquaintances.

In the grand scheme of things, I imagine most of the people you've used to model characters over, would probably flattered to be in your stories/desires, but then you know them, I don't.

Maybe as a break, try using celebs/public figures or cyphers of them in your erotic stories; consider it more as an experiment than a chore.
 
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