jstaguyinMN
Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2006
- Posts
- 65
I wanted to introduce myself and say hi. My name's Ken. Here's a bit about me...
I can form a full sentence
November 20th is my New Year
I don't tear the tags off my mattresses til I get home
I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores
I have a full head of hair
I'm turgid when the wind ruffles my slacks
I've never read Playboy for the articles
I'll make you laugh
I'm long-lasting and frequent
I'll never under or over cook the eggs
I'll never drink your last bottle of wine
I'm a cookin' sonofagun
I'll not care when you look at that dude
I'll always be impressed with how soft you are
I'll fix your car
I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops
I've never abused anyone
I recycle
I program in 20 different languages
I do know how many licks it takes to get to...
I won't steal the vicoden out of your medicine cabinet
I'll take care of you when you're sick and sometimes just because I think you're the shit
I'll never make fun of you
I come with my own set of ear plugs in case of snoring
I can give an awesome back rub
I haven't been a house guest of O.J. Simpson
You'll never be pregnant, we will
I like porn
I can't stand soaps
I've got a sweet hook up
I'll always put the seat down
I give great head(cunnilingus)
I have nothing pierced
I fix my own shit
I don't give a shit if my hair isn't perfect
I've got cookies
I don't chew tobacco
I take a shower every day, twice even sometimes
I like to pull hair
I wont just let you beat me at pool
I'll keep working until I chip away at your walls
I don't care that you go out with the girls
I don't eat crackers in bed too often
I think it's hot when you come home all sweaty from working out
I wont let the dogs sleep in the bed
I love the mall
I don't care what music we listen to
I've never eaten a bon-bon in my life
My closet comes equipped with a shit load of suits & hoodies
I'd never ask you to go to lunch with my family
When you wash the dishes it turns me on
My heart will jump every time you walk through the door
I'll do my own laundry
I don't care if you cut your toe nails in bed
I'll save everything you ever give me
I won't ever forget your birthday, or remind you when mine is coming
I pee standing up
I think Project Runway is fucking gay
You just can't stop reading this!
I've even seen several episodes of Dawson's Creek and Gilmore Girls
I'll share with you everything
I always use my nails to scratch a lottery ticket
I know where to put in the oil, and have even done it
I'll never get jealous
I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know
My friends are hot
I don't have hardly any girl friends
I'm fluent in 5 languages including honesty
I've never owned one pink thing
I won't fuck your friends
I won't fuck your sister
The kinkier the better
What the hell is "in the box"?
I always open a window when I paint
I've never been on Americas Most Wanted
The only drama I have any part of is on t.v.
I'll watch girly movies with you
I know how to make a fire
I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue(in under one minute)
I've got secret tattoos
My kisses will take your breath away
I dig public sex
I didn't vote for the 25 ft smoking law
I don't care if you leave your socks on
My best friend isn't a girl
I can't stand John Mayer
My teriyaki is the bomb
I never drive faster than 20 mph in a school zone
My weird habits you'll find adorable
You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
I'd fuck Angelina Jolie too
I'll always open the door
I'll never waste your love
I'll laugh at every joke even when it's not funny
I'd never give you shit in front of your friends
It gets better every time
Use as much salt as you want I don't care
I won't ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch
I'll help you find your keys
I cook perfect bacon
I stop and ask for directions
I have 3 sisters, and you'll never have to worry about getting your ass kicked ever
I've always got stoner food
I try not to pick my nose, or butt in public
We can watch your movie first
I've never owned anything Hello Kitty
I once ate a cricket
I eat red meat
I'll kill spiders
I'll clean the house perfect every time your mom comes
I'll always have a trim tummy
I'll let you have as much space as you want
I met Brad Pitt once
I got suspended in high school 3 times
My family is just as fucked up as yours
I have my own friends
I wont always want more
I like horror movies
I smell pretty good most of the time
I don't litter
When I can I give to charity
I can be ready in 30 minutes or less
I've got dirty pictures of me on my computer
I look both ways before I cross the street
I have cable and HBO
I never look directly into the sun
You'll look cute in my shirt
I'm not a virgin
You're hotter and more hilarious than anyone I know
I'll pay your tuition
I'll show you my penis at the store when nobody's looking
I probably have more porn on my computer than you
I'm old enough to remember when the space shuttle crashed
I'll let you hang hose on the shower rack
I can balance a check book
I'll help you not to forget your moms birthday
I would never yell "fire" in a crowded theatre
I vacuum nude
I"m really good at sneaking food into the movies
I was Bellingham High school's spelling bee champion 2 years back to back
I'll never say 'nothings wrong' when there really is
My fingers can spill out Pollanaiase on the piano better than Chopin'
I've never been caught doing the "pick"
I've never cried over spilt milk
I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
I can count to 100 by 5's
I've never smuggled drugs out of the country
I think it's hot when you masturbate
I never overload the washer
What else have you got to do?
I know that whipped cream goes on more than sundaes
I've never auditioned for American Idol
I don't eat yellow snow
I like it when you talk to your friends about us in bed
My sunday morning breakfasts will change your life
My chest fits perfect under your chin
I'll understand if you get jealous
I'm just that good
I never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinski or anyone named Monica
You're getting very sleepy...
I've never been on Jerry Springer
I may have already won $10,000,000.
I have a subscription to the Journal
You won't be able to get me out of your head
I know that sticks are better than automatics
I'll let you drive every time if you want
I buy a new toothbrush every time the blue wears down
I loved my mother
I know that objects in the mirror are bigger than they appear
I would never smoke the last bowl
I would never make you go to the store for your own tampons
Tenderness will get you laid every time
I've never gotten caught lip syncing on SNL
I have a $3.24 credit at PayLess Shoes
I have clean socks that you can borrow if you run out
I never leave the engine running while I'm pumping gas
I never run with scissors
I've taken the Pepsi challenge and won
Almost every time I have a winning bottle top
I know how to keep a secret
If you spell something wrong I just think it's cute
I've never failed a survey
I can almost every time find Waldo
I never put my fingers in the light socket
I'm a Scorpio
I have all my shots
You never have? It's okay, I'll make you cum
I'm pretty damn funny
I'm not a doctor and I've never played one on t.v. either
I don't care if you eat off my plate
None of my friends are girls I used to have sex with
When you're sleeping I'll always try to be quiet
I'll never let you run out of gas
I know the difference between they're, their, and there
You really kinda would dig having someone to cuddle with on the couch
I know how to get stains out of clothes
You've got rad hair
I know how to leave you satisfied and hungry for more every time
I'm really good at making lists
After reading this far you've already got too much invested anyways
Pictures 4 pictures? I have tons, please have some...
I can form a full sentence
November 20th is my New Year
I don't tear the tags off my mattresses til I get home
I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores
I have a full head of hair
I'm turgid when the wind ruffles my slacks
I've never read Playboy for the articles
I'll make you laugh
I'm long-lasting and frequent
I'll never under or over cook the eggs
I'll never drink your last bottle of wine
I'm a cookin' sonofagun
I'll not care when you look at that dude
I'll always be impressed with how soft you are
I'll fix your car
I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops
I've never abused anyone
I recycle
I program in 20 different languages
I do know how many licks it takes to get to...
I won't steal the vicoden out of your medicine cabinet
I'll take care of you when you're sick and sometimes just because I think you're the shit
I'll never make fun of you
I come with my own set of ear plugs in case of snoring
I can give an awesome back rub
I haven't been a house guest of O.J. Simpson
You'll never be pregnant, we will
I like porn
I can't stand soaps
I've got a sweet hook up
I'll always put the seat down
I give great head(cunnilingus)
I have nothing pierced
I fix my own shit
I don't give a shit if my hair isn't perfect
I've got cookies
I don't chew tobacco
I take a shower every day, twice even sometimes
I like to pull hair
I wont just let you beat me at pool
I'll keep working until I chip away at your walls
I don't care that you go out with the girls
I don't eat crackers in bed too often
I think it's hot when you come home all sweaty from working out
I wont let the dogs sleep in the bed
I love the mall
I don't care what music we listen to
I've never eaten a bon-bon in my life
My closet comes equipped with a shit load of suits & hoodies
I'd never ask you to go to lunch with my family
When you wash the dishes it turns me on
My heart will jump every time you walk through the door
I'll do my own laundry
I don't care if you cut your toe nails in bed
I'll save everything you ever give me
I won't ever forget your birthday, or remind you when mine is coming
I pee standing up
I think Project Runway is fucking gay
You just can't stop reading this!
I've even seen several episodes of Dawson's Creek and Gilmore Girls
I'll share with you everything
I always use my nails to scratch a lottery ticket
I know where to put in the oil, and have even done it
I'll never get jealous
I'll think you're just about the coolest person I know
My friends are hot
I don't have hardly any girl friends
I'm fluent in 5 languages including honesty
I've never owned one pink thing
I won't fuck your friends
I won't fuck your sister
The kinkier the better
What the hell is "in the box"?
I always open a window when I paint
I've never been on Americas Most Wanted
The only drama I have any part of is on t.v.
I'll watch girly movies with you
I know how to make a fire
I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue(in under one minute)
I've got secret tattoos
My kisses will take your breath away
I dig public sex
I didn't vote for the 25 ft smoking law
I don't care if you leave your socks on
My best friend isn't a girl
I can't stand John Mayer
My teriyaki is the bomb
I never drive faster than 20 mph in a school zone
My weird habits you'll find adorable
You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
I'd fuck Angelina Jolie too
I'll always open the door
I'll never waste your love
I'll laugh at every joke even when it's not funny
I'd never give you shit in front of your friends
It gets better every time
Use as much salt as you want I don't care
I won't ever let you leave for work in the morning without your lunch
I'll help you find your keys
I cook perfect bacon
I stop and ask for directions
I have 3 sisters, and you'll never have to worry about getting your ass kicked ever
I've always got stoner food
I try not to pick my nose, or butt in public
We can watch your movie first
I've never owned anything Hello Kitty
I once ate a cricket
I eat red meat
I'll kill spiders
I'll clean the house perfect every time your mom comes
I'll always have a trim tummy
I'll let you have as much space as you want
I met Brad Pitt once
I got suspended in high school 3 times
My family is just as fucked up as yours
I have my own friends
I wont always want more
I like horror movies
I smell pretty good most of the time
I don't litter
When I can I give to charity
I can be ready in 30 minutes or less
I've got dirty pictures of me on my computer
I look both ways before I cross the street
I have cable and HBO
I never look directly into the sun
You'll look cute in my shirt
I'm not a virgin
You're hotter and more hilarious than anyone I know
I'll pay your tuition
I'll show you my penis at the store when nobody's looking
I probably have more porn on my computer than you
I'm old enough to remember when the space shuttle crashed
I'll let you hang hose on the shower rack
I can balance a check book
I'll help you not to forget your moms birthday
I would never yell "fire" in a crowded theatre
I vacuum nude
I"m really good at sneaking food into the movies
I was Bellingham High school's spelling bee champion 2 years back to back
I'll never say 'nothings wrong' when there really is
My fingers can spill out Pollanaiase on the piano better than Chopin'
I've never been caught doing the "pick"
I've never cried over spilt milk
I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
I can count to 100 by 5's
I've never smuggled drugs out of the country
I think it's hot when you masturbate
I never overload the washer
What else have you got to do?
I know that whipped cream goes on more than sundaes
I've never auditioned for American Idol
I don't eat yellow snow
I like it when you talk to your friends about us in bed
My sunday morning breakfasts will change your life
My chest fits perfect under your chin
I'll understand if you get jealous
I'm just that good
I never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinski or anyone named Monica
You're getting very sleepy...
I've never been on Jerry Springer
I may have already won $10,000,000.
I have a subscription to the Journal
You won't be able to get me out of your head
I know that sticks are better than automatics
I'll let you drive every time if you want
I buy a new toothbrush every time the blue wears down
I loved my mother
I know that objects in the mirror are bigger than they appear
I would never smoke the last bowl
I would never make you go to the store for your own tampons
Tenderness will get you laid every time
I've never gotten caught lip syncing on SNL
I have a $3.24 credit at PayLess Shoes
I have clean socks that you can borrow if you run out
I never leave the engine running while I'm pumping gas
I never run with scissors
I've taken the Pepsi challenge and won
Almost every time I have a winning bottle top
I know how to keep a secret
If you spell something wrong I just think it's cute
I've never failed a survey
I can almost every time find Waldo
I never put my fingers in the light socket
I'm a Scorpio
I have all my shots
You never have? It's okay, I'll make you cum
I'm pretty damn funny
I'm not a doctor and I've never played one on t.v. either
I don't care if you eat off my plate
None of my friends are girls I used to have sex with
When you're sleeping I'll always try to be quiet
I'll never let you run out of gas
I know the difference between they're, their, and there
You really kinda would dig having someone to cuddle with on the couch
I know how to get stains out of clothes
You've got rad hair
I know how to leave you satisfied and hungry for more every time
I'm really good at making lists
After reading this far you've already got too much invested anyways
Pictures 4 pictures? I have tons, please have some...
