“The Yank”

[Shankara20]

*sigh*
I don't see why there aren't places men and women could gather in a low keyed laid back atmosphere, have a bit of beverage, conversation and a wank. A drop in sorta place open from about noon to midnight. A place that would be a rather like a refuge from office/spouse stress. No unsafe sex, no direct body contact with others. Clothing optional. Showers available for clean up.

We could call them Jack and Jill clubs. (Does anyone hold Jack and Jill parties anymore?)

If there were these places we might not read these headlines in the paper. Peewee and Fred might be in the news for other reasons. Who knows George Michael might have not wondered into the restroom playing 'I'll show you mine, you show me yours, and then when you show me yours, I'm going to nick you!"



Actor Fred Willard Arrested For Masturbating In Adult Movie Theater

story link

Los Angeles Police Department sources told TMZ that Fred Willard, the comedic acting star of A Mighty Wind and pretty much every Christopher Guest film ever, was arrested by undercover vice cops at the Tiki Theater after being caught with his genitals exposed and in his hand during a viewing of an adult film.

The 72-year-old actor was picked up by undercover vice cops after they spotted him masturbating in the adult theater on Santa Monica Boulevard. He was booked on a charge of lewd conduct at around 8:45 p.m. Wednesday and released shortly thereafter.

The Daily News points out that Willard is set to star in an upcoming film titled “The Yank,” which is sure to lead to a slew of unfortunate jokes on the actor’s behalf. But, in actuality, the comedy is actually about an Irish-American who travels back to Ireland to find love.

According to TMZ, the LAPD vice officers were not conducting a raid, but rather a “random walk-through” to inspect for people exposing themselves in an adult theater. Because, you know, that is an important crime worth using tax dollars to pursue and punish.

Keep up the good work, LAPD.

 

[intothewoods]

Is anyone in the adult theater -- patrons or owners -- bothered by someone masturbating there? I totally don't get these kinds of sting operations. Weird!

 

[Shankara20]

Is anyone in the adult theater -- patrons or owners -- bothered by someone masturbating there? I totally don't get these kinds of sting operations. Weird!

In our fair city the booths at the adult theater do not have doors. This is to prevent any sort of "stuff" from taking place in the little room.

There are some health reasons I suppose. But what about just having a little sink there with the movie screen for disposal and clean up?

Given the sort of "watch and be-watched" person I am, I would rather a large open room over a bunch of little rooms.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I am so disgusted by these stupid, meaningless stings. I can't even come up with anything witty to say about it.

 

[mediocre]

First, I thought this was going to be a thread about MidwestYankee.

Second, if you want to yank to porn, they have a new invention called the interwebs. If you want to yank to porn with someone watching, on the interwebs is a site called craigslist.

Third, stings like that are moronic. Go bust a drug dealer at the middle school. Go do something useful. Police idiots.

 

[desertslave]

I agree, the stings are stupid. The laws preventing such solo activities are stupid, too. We're such ridiculous prudes in this country.

I always wonder if they let the guy finish before they arrest him.

 

[midwestyankee]

Fred Willard always made me twitch, even in his good roles.

 

[intothewoods]

In our fair city the booths at the adult theater do not have doors. This is to prevent any sort of "stuff" from taking place in the little room.

There are some health reasons I suppose. But what about just having a little sink there with the movie screen for disposal and clean up?

Given the sort of "watch and be-watched" person I am, I would rather a large open room over a bunch of little rooms.

That's the only thing I could think of. But yeah, you could deal with these issues with some creative measures, I think.

 

[Shankara20]

Star of "The Yank" yanked for wank...

Fred Willard had earlier lewd conduct arrest, L.A. prosecutor says

In announcing Friday that Fred Willard will not have to face jail time after being arrested on suspicion of lewd conduct, the Los Angeles prosecutor revealed that the actor had been arrested on a similar charge two decades earlier.

The L.A. prosecutor said Willard was arrested in 1990 on lewd conduct charges but did not reveal details or the disposition of the case.

Despite that earlier incident, Willard will be able to enroll in a "pre-filing diversion program" in lieu of a criminal filing, said Frank Mateljan, spokesman for City Atty. Carmen Trutanich.

The program is administered by an outside vendor and costs about $380. There are diversion programs for a variety of offenses, including drug and alcohol abuse in addition to sex-related crimes.

"I want to stress this was and is a filable case, and should the defendant choose not to enroll or not complete the program, we have the option of filing criminal charges within a year," Mateljan said.

"Should he complete the course, we will consider the matter closed," Mateljan said.

Willard's attorney on Thursday said the actor did nothing wrong.

"With all due respect to the individual officer, our belief [is] that Fred did nothing in any violation of any law. We will be working vigorously to clear his name in this matter," Paul Takakjian said in a statement to The Times.

Uniformed LAPD vice officers arrested the 72-year-old actor Wednesday evening at the Tiki Theater in the 5400 block of Santa Monica Boulevard.

Officers have inspected the theater 40 times and have made 23 arrests since November, Jafor said.

In response to Willard's arrest, PBS announced Thursday that it would fire the actor from his job as narrator of its new "Market Warriors" series.

Willard's credits include "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy," "This Is Spinal Tap" and "Wall-E."

 

[Miles Long]

What if it was all set up to be publicity for the film?

 

[Shankara20]

This could go on for a looooong time...

Fred Willard’s Proposed Sex-Education Program Would Wipe His Slate Clean

link Jul 24, 2012 4:45 AM EDT


Arrested for allegedly masturbating in public, the actor can avoid the humiliation of a trial by completing court-imposed sex counseling. Chris Lee on the ‘diversion program’ that could keep Willard out of prison if he accepts the deal—which his lawyer now indicates he won’t.

The choice facing Fred Willard seems like a no-brainer: sex-ed class or criminal prosecution?

Picked up by plainclothes Los Angeles Police Department vice officers last week during a routine investigation of a seedy Hollywood porno theater, the movie comedian was booked on suspicion of a lewd act for allegedly masturbating in public, and faces the very real possibility of a prison stint.

But on Friday, the Los Angeles County prosecutor’s office offered to let the Best in Show co-star avoid the humiliating spectacle of a criminal trial if he completes a “pre-filing diversion program”—a court-imposed sex-counseling class Willard could finish in a matter of months at a cost of less than $400, and that effectively wipes his slate clean.

“Should he complete the course, we will consider the matter closed,” Frank Mateljan, spokesman for Los Angeles City Attorney Carmen Trutanich, told the Los Angeles Times.

The funny man had been previously charged with lewd conduct—in 1990, prosecutors said, without documenting or providing any details from that case. But contrary to all the Internet opprobrium that Willard is getting off with just a slap on the proverbial wrist thanks to his celebrity, lawyers and counselors who specialize in working with clients accused of sex crimes say the city prosecutor’s offer is a standard deal.

“Is he being treated any differently because he’s a star? No,” said Mark Haushalter, managing partner at the Los Angeles law firm, Okabe & Haushalter. “It is a little surprising that he has a record. But in light of the fact that the last charge was 22 years ago, it seems like he’s being offered one more chance: ‘As long as you do XYZ by a certain time and stay out of trouble, we’ll forget the case.’”

Assuming Willard accepts the city attorney’s offer, his rehabilitation will come in the form of two-hour group sessions with trained specialists and others facing lewd-conduct charges, once a week for somewhere in the neighborhood of five months. There, the comedian’s alleged compulsive behavior would be treated as a behavioral disorder—an affliction along the lines of sex addiction, compulsive gambling, or an eating disorder that can be held at bay by adhering to a kind of “sobriety,” but not necessarily ever cured.

Dennis Brown, director of Los Angeles’s Ness Counseling Center, a nonprofit agency offering informal diversion programs such as the one on the table for Willard, outlined the kind of hard questions the actor would likely face. “You want to go into an adult movie theater? That’s fine,” Brown said. “But now doing what you did in a public facility, what’s going on? Did you really think that no one would say anything or see? It’s not like you’re John Q. Public—you’re high-profile. So what did you not realize?”

And, Brown added: “There are underlying issues going on as to why someone does this, why they need to do it. So if he were to come to a program addressing behavioral issues, we’d ask: What happened the first time? What did he learn and not learn? What triggered him? And how do we bring that [understanding] to the current moment and into the future? How do we get it to sink in?” Even with the legal absolution available to Willard in exchange for rehab—and an implicit admission of guilt—the actor’s lawyer has indicated that the comic intends to beat the charges rather than simply avoid lockdown. “With all due respect to the individual officer, our belief [is] that Fred did nothing in any violation of the law,” attorney Paul Takakjian said in a statement. “We will be working vigorously to clear his name in this matter.”

For his part, Willard has given no indication he plans to enroll in a diversion program, breaking the silence surrounding his legal predicament on Monday by sending a message to his nearly 64 million Twitter followers. “Wait til u hear my version; much more PG,” Willard tweeted. “& my review, lousy film, but theater would make a terrific racquetball court. Full story 2 follow.”

 

[Shankara20]

Lmao!!!!

Fred Willard Offers Jimmy Fallon Hilarious Explanations For His Masturbation Arrest

link

A week after his arrest for “lewd conduct” in a Los Angeles adult theater, comedian Fred Willard sat down with Jimmy Fallon to discuss the public masturbation scandal that cost him a job with PBS. Willard laughed off his arrest with a slew of hilariously self-deprecating one-liners and jokes about his experience at the theater.

“Jimmy — what do you want to talk about first?” Willard joked as soon as he sat down at the couch. “Let me say this: It’s the last time I’m gonna listen to my wife when she says, ‘Why don’t you go out and see a movie?’”

He continued on, “I see this one [theater]. It had such an exotic look to it. I thought maybe there’s hula dancers in there. Maybe there’s Mai Tais!”

“I went in and I realized I was the only one awake and sober… and conscious,” he joked to much audience laughter. “It was like a trip down Alice in Wonderland and down the rabbit hole.”

The two comedians then traded one-liners about which exact movie he went to see:

FALLON: Well, the movie you went to see… was it The Firm?
WILLARD: No.
FALLON: Was it Free Willy?
WILLARD: No.
FALLON: Was it Anaconda?
WILLARD: No — sadly, it was Get Shorty.
FALLON: But I think at the end of that movie, someone gets whacked.

Willard then offered a heartfelt explanation for the whole ordeal. “It’s very embarrassing,” he confessed. “It’s embarrassing as hell! But let me say this: nothing happened. I did nothing wrong, everything’s being sorted out as we speak.”

“I have great respect for the authorities,” he continued. “When we need a policeman, God bless ‘em, they’re there. But, if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, everything seems suspicious.”

He reiterated how embarrassed he is, and added that it has been “Very painful, and I’m trying to laugh it off.”

And laugh it off he did, concluding that “my summary of the evening is that it’s an interesting theater, boring movie, and a great place to take a nap.”