“My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.”

[BoyNextDoor]

And other great Rodney Dangerfield one-liners, in honor of his birthday

http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/thumbs/2015/09/27/013800/84750100/crazy-and-ugly-rodney.jpg

 

[Wrong Element]

"I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is. He took me to my house!"

 

[BoyNextDoor]

http://www.doseoffunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/rodney-dangerfield-quote-drink.jpg

 

[Ms_Ann]

Country Clubs and Cemeteries are the biggest wasters of prime real estate.

 

[Aquagal]

I loved breastfeeding.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

This movie is a classic for umpteen reasons on top of infinity, but Rodney made this shit his and this is the ultimate reason why:

http://catchquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/401-Caddyshack-quotes.jpg

http://imoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/402-Caddyshack-quotes.jpg

Nobody. Will. EVER. Touch. This. Verse.

 

[Hypoxia]

Country Clubs and Cemeteries are the biggest wasters of prime real estate.

That's because drive-in theaters and urban pastures have gone extinct. But city parks remain, and could be turned into retail space. Did you know that NYC's Central Park used to be a vast pigsty? All that wasted acreage could now be developed into high-rises and shopping complexes. The city's coffers would bloat. Taxes could be reduced. Pave the parks!